2011 thank yous!!

hmmm last year I did a year in review... this year it's thank yous. What a difference a year makes!!

This is my 1st Annual Thank you Blog. Now some of this bull pucky is going to be sarcastic and other stuff is going to be very sincere. It is up to you to decide… :)

First and foremost I would like to thank Little Baby Jesus for whom none of this would be possible! And since this is the time of year where we are supposed to be celebrating Him, I thought it appropriate. This year has actually not been all that bad but as always I have faced some challenges and thanks to my girls Mary Mary, ‘Survive’ which has been my theme song for the past few months who help me keep it in perspective. Now my goal in life is to do more that survive, but some days I’m doing good to just do that.

So a year in review…
Jobs - Thank you for my temp gigs, one in particular that the chick flat out didn’t get (and I took good notes I just didn’t feel like learning nothing new) but yet they kept me around and were rather nice to me. Thank you to my now full time gig where they actually don’t mind me being the smart ass that I am as long as I keep most of it to myself ie: don’t tell the folks at HQ what I really think of the policies and (non-existent) procedures. Thank you to my part time gig as a bartender which went back to being the ‘fun job’ after a short (actually not so short when I had to deal with the folks who never having done waitressing or bartender they didn’t get that, uuumm YES I DO NEED MY TIPS!!) stint of being a ‘why-the-hell-am-I-doing-this-again’ job.

People - and I say this often but this one is really sincere Thank you to all my girls who allow me to vent! I say allow cause some folks won’t let you. I know we all got issues but sometimes I got shit I gotta get off my chest.

Bills -Thank you to Verizon for turning ALL my services off with you. I truly appreciate having one bill aptly named the ONEBILL and not allowing me to transfer anything from it so that if I missed paying my bill, which let’s face it I DID (it’s the holidays for crying out loud WHO reads their mail right before Thanksgiving), they turn it all off!! And quite honestly this has been a breath of fresh air cause all the other folks who be blowing UP my house phone have no idea of how to reach me… except for AMEX and BofA who just call my job so Thank you to them too while we’re at it!! So here is a good time to also thank Suze Orman who if you are not living your life wondering what would Suze do (WWSD) then you most likely living out of your means! So thank you for the harsh reminder that living within my means is so very necessary. Thank you to the lil Cricket salesgirl who didn’t even bother getting up from her desk as I had my few questions about the phones. I almost feel like going back in there like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and being like ‘do you work on commission bitch?!?!? Well you made a BIG mistake not waiting on me BIG MISTAKE!!! HUGE!!!’ Julia didn’t call those women in the movie bitch but sometimes you gotta drop a B in there to make it more effective!! That is a dream of mine to do that to some sales person who thought my pennies were not worth their time. I take customer service seriously so after I made her get up and explain a few more things to me. I said ‘oh OK’ and left!!! Hmm… that probably shoulda gone in the ‘People’ section

General Random - Probably most stuff should go here… Thank you Extra gum. I really appreciate the Polar Ice flavor that keeps me minty fresh. Oh how I wish everyone would pop you into their mouth after eating… I was going to say onions but NO all foods!!! Thank you Dollar Store for providing a great service to the poor and rich alike! I especially want to thank Lance for the 4 pack nekot peanut butter crackers and for being available at aforementioned Dollar store. Thank you to the the lil Mickey D’ dude who told me my total was $26.21 to which I said no it’s $2.12 so that’s how much I’m giving you and he busted out laughing!! WHO gets 26 bucks worth of McDonalds?!?!? That’s a whole lot of NOT cooking right there. Thank you to my grandmothers (gone but not forgotten) for teaching me how to cook. Both knew how to stretch a $ and make meals with the cheap cuts of meat and grabbing stuff from the freezer and pantry when times were lean. They didn’t let me starve EVER!! Thanks to my grandfather for feeding me sardines and crackers which I can’t even stomach the smell now but somehow at 8 it was a delicacy!! That kinda didn’t happen this year, but a long overdue thank you none the less. Thank you to th Baltimore County Library who allow me to use the free wi-fi no strings attached… well that is if you don’t count all the weird folks and loud kids and non-silence and general tom follery as strings. Thank you to Panera for also providing the good free wi-fi for the low price of the cheapest pastry item :) Thank you to my new neighbors for putting up reindeer village right in their front yard. And Thank you to my old neighbors who put up their regular lights that may not go down until about President’s day… in February 2012 OR LATER!!! Thank you to my cousin who provided me with the good SARC bag that works very well as a computer bag!! Thanks to my BFF who is letting me do a staycation in Charlotte. I might not never leave!! Thank you to little baby cousin who is supposed to be getting me a buddy pass or I may really be staying in Charlotte since I only got a one way ticket!! Thank you mom for getting me that one way ticket before the deal was done… Actually thank you mom for a WHOLE lot more than that. Thanks for hanging with me in the Dominican Republic that you insist on calling the Dominion!!

AND…I know theres more but my general attitude of gratitude is at it’s height right now!!

friday music mix

*** THIS BLOG HAS BEEN PREVIOUSLY RECORDED***

I have been singing myself silly with this mix I’ve been listing to. I have scoured the internet to find sites that are not blocked by my companies firewall which totally sucks!! But hey I get it; They want you to work not be on facebook all day. But WHY then do they have a twitter linkedIN and Facebook presence that I can’t even see cause all the shit is blocked?!? I don’t get it (even thought I had just said I DID get it) ANYWAYS me and Seal were being kissed by a rose on the grave… a lyric I have no good idea what it mean but I be feeling it all the same!! Me and George Michael were carelessly whispering. I freaking used to LOVE that song. Back when you could only see videos on like video juke box, oh no wait I had my MTV. Probably one of the few people back in the mid 80’s that did in fact have cable. I used to watch the video and as a kid I was so clueless about what songs meant. It took me a while to GET that he was cheating on his girl with some other chick. What's hilarious now is when they play Careless Whispers at a wedding. I cringe I’m always like NOOOOoooooooo not this song!!! Don’t you people hear what they are saying. just like I’ll always love you (whitney version of course). These are not wedding song but people still be rocking them at the good weddings that I bartend at… Ummm how did I get on the wedding theme?!?!? hmmm. this is DJ Tommy Bones and I really need for him to have more mixes since he is not blocked. He normally does the good house mixes, but this was a ‘Quiet Storm’ mix. Now I usually do NOT do sex songs at work. I can’t focus on ooohhing and ahhing AND try and get my daggone work done…There musta been an angel by side!!! Sade interrupted me right quick.

Ok so this was definitely what I needed today. It’s been a mellow day not to many calls, but this week has been one for the books. I have to say I do get along with my supervisor which is a great thing, but she gave me my freaking review and that put me in a mood. I don’t know what it is but I have always ALWAYS always hated reviews. I want you to tell me my flaw right then and there don’t wait til a year later to say I screwed something up back in April. I guess because I have worked everywhere for every type of person I’m just always on edge with what they are going to say ESPECIALLY if it ties into me getting some more money which we all could use a little more, right?!?? And I am not a people pleaser which may work to my detriment. Only here lately have I learned it’s ok to not tell you where you can shove whatever it is that may need shoving. I just keep it to myself and vent with my friends who allow me to vent and keep it moving!

Chris Rock who dropped out in 9th or 10th grade… actually I’m not sure how his mother who I thought was really strict allowed that to happened but anyway he had this bit where he said there is a difference between a job and a career. I think he used to wash dishes at like Red Lobster or something… and having done my stint there I know how it is. Although my Red Lobster had the most hoodiest people working for and coming through where folks thought no matter how expensive the meal or how hard they ran me, 2 bucks was a good tip!! Man I had fun though!! After having been fired from my 1st job (LOL) for reasons I still scratch my head about… I mean I know but I kinda don’t really know. I went to the dreary unemployment center where the walls were fake wood paneled and everything else was a dreary shade of brown including the people who were not all black folks. And then I got the bright idea to go down the street and apply at the Red Lobster. So I didn’t hear anything for like 3 days so I took my bold self to the restaurant during the lunch rush and demanded that I speak to the manager who hired me on the spot!! Trust me it has never worked like that again. But it was a job. Although what Chris Rock said is a job there are too many hours in the day… you look up and think you have worked 2 hours and only 15 minutes have passed. Whereas a career, there are not enough hours in the day to work on your ‘projects’. This week I have been thanking little baby Jesus when 3 rolls around because I can handle 2 more hours! Right now it is 3:39 and I can do a little under 1 ½ hours. It will be all good!! Red Lobster holds a lot of memories for me… most good including the date where he said order whatever you want on the menu! To which I gave a blank stare and thought IT’S RED LOBSTER DUDE!!! I know the intent was genuine he kept saying do you want a shrimp cocktail? Do you want a drink? Dates… ahh I remember those LOL. Then there was the time we almost got put out of the Red Lobster cause we were 3 drunk LOUD obnoxious chicks who had way to many bahama mamas!! I think our tip might been 3 bucks that night!!

I have started the mix again!! Aaliyah’s ‘At your best’. I miss the star she would have really become. She may have tripped up early and you got married at 15 but she was on a good path. She died too soon. I had to google her real quick she was a Capricorn!! Janet is on now.. ‘Funny How time Flies’ is on. NOW A new one by Eric Roberson… I gotta put my pennies together and get his new CD. I missed the 1st song, it was Vanessa Williams and Bobby Caldwell Honey (or baby) it’s cold outside. DeBarge!!! Time will reveal!!! In 5th grade you couldn’t tell me they weren’t the best group EVER!! As I have said before… I wanted to have beige babies with El!! Ok back to Seal… umm a kiss by rose on the GRAY?!?! I thought he was saying grave? Now you know I just googled the lyrics!! Reading the lyrics makes slightly more sense now!! Lawd I can be slow sometimes. Break of dawn by Michael Jackson. Sweet Thang original CHAKA version. Actually I’m just skipping through now… Amerie I forget the name. I have the Sweetest Love. Robin Thicke who I really do like but I need something more from him… I’m not sure what. Can you Stand the rain NE version!! Quiet Storm Smoky Robinson WHO I might add was on the SingOff and sang with the already offed Afro Blue… They were the best!!!

Ok I’m rambling now and getting tired of typing

pre-turkey randomness

I know my family is dysfunctional. In fact, I would be hard pressed to find a family that was ‘normal’ whatever the hell that means. But our level of dysfunction is minor when I hear some people talk about theirs. What has me chuckling now is my manager has a time limit for her family to be at her house for Thanksgiving!! WHO DOES THAT!?!? You cook; have people over and just lounge… well at least that’s what I’ve always done. Her family has from 1-4 to get whatever they need to get in. Eat, chat, dessert and then go the hell home!! It’s just funny to me. I wonder how the fam would react if I said y’all have to be out by 4!! Well actually it’s just my aunt and uncle and by 4 they may have had enough of us!!

I am so desperately trying to be productive this afternoon, but that same manager in the aforementioned paragraph had a coupon for a local restaurant and I had a Caribbean jerk crab cake AND mashed potatoes so I am sooooo done right about now!! I need to do a few more things but my left eye is already doing sleepytime. I need to be like George (from Seinfeld) and take a nap under my desk. I may just bring in a blanket one day. I think I would do well in Spain where they do a siesta. Go to work, go to lunch nap and then go back to work for a few more hours. That is what my body needs to do. Hmmmm wonder if Career Builder has an office in Spain?
Church should not give me as much material as it does! I just kinda wonder what do people be thinking when they put on their clothes when they come to church. This one guy I swear if he wears one more velveteen jacket I’m gonna scream. NO MAN should have that many velvety clothes and rock them as regularly as he does to church! Then there is this other older dude who wears about 50 gold bracelets. He is BEYOND the Mr. T Starter kit. I know we are all thankful for what God has done in our lives and express it in our own way BUT this is overkill. It’s almost like he has been buying a bracelet a month since he was 25. And don’t even get me started on the shiny suits. If it has a sheen, leave it on the rack. If it is not a basic color (black, blue, grey, dark brown), leave it on the rack. Mustard, maroon and especially paisley printed purple are NOT Basic!! As for my ladies… ***LOUD SIGH*** when in doubt, spanx it out!! My church has a 'reserved' spot for pretty much everyone at the church but me. If you are the head of whatever ministry you got a spot AT ALL TIMES! I am not really used to this. My church at home (Pittsburgh) had 2 reserved spots. The Pastor and the Director of Music. I think as the years went on the First Lady had a spot also. So here of the 50 spots in the lot directly next to the building 45 are RESERVED... I am only slightly exaggerating. So the spot I got this Sunday was next to the 'Reserved for Senior Member'. In theory this is a GREAT idea. If you are older but not necessarily disabled there is a spot for you. I knew I shoulda took a pic, but what took me aback because I have seen these signs before but not up close. I see a sign I just keep driving. But the spot ( maybe about 5 of them) are for senior members OVER 80. Ummmmm.. I'm not knocking older drivers but 80!?!? 8-0!!! I am very afraid of all the senior drivers OVER 80 driving to church i just am!!!

My new mantra is pantyhose are for SUCKAS!!! I don't know why it just is!

Whew!!!

WHEW I dodged a bullet!!! I am not a tremendous fan of potlucks. But sometimes you are part of an office where that is the norm so I just try to fit in. That was the case late last year early this year (during one of a bazillion temp gigs) when the sun could be shining and my co-workers would decide to do a pot luck. The good thing there was they had GOOD stuff like ham! Who doesn’t like ham?!?! I mean you know except for veggie-only type people. So it was easy for me to go with the flow there because it was worth it. BUT… when I question the hygienic capacity of my co-workers then a potluck or ANY food they bring in is questionable. Like I remember one time (at band camp) I was temping… or wait maybe I was full time OH YEAH I was (hah IMAGINE THAT?!?)anyways… it was right after halloween and we had already had a few potlucks and had eaten this woman’s food, but then this fool says “The pumpkins I carved as jack-o-laterns got all moldy so I can’t use them to make my pies” eeeeeeerrrrkkkk SAY WHAT?!?!? Let me clarify…the pumpkin(s) you used to put outside of your house and had been sitting there for God know how many days or weeks; you were going to bring into the house and RE CUT to make a pie? I had previously ignored the fact that she had a house full of pets because you can be clean and have pets. But her hygienic capacity or HC came into question and from then on I ate NOTHING she cooked or even stood to close to. So this week co-worker (I won’t call her tweedle) says “Oh I made lasagna and I’ll bring it in for all of us to eat”. I tried to keep my face neutral but all the while I’m thinking ‘LAWD how do I get out of this, I do not want to offend her but I aint eating her food’ even though my lips were saying ‘Yeah I like lasagna; bring it on in!’ I do try to be PC but it can be a challenge sometimes… MOSTtimes here lately. So of course I bring my lunch in everyday and she mentioned it yesterday and I was like ‘Oh I forgot, I brought my chicken maybe tomorrow’ So tomorrow is today and I bring in my chili and so she goes to the temp (in this case NOT me cause I am full time baby!! with the good (actually not really all that good… but I aint complaining cause folks are still jobless and health insurance-less so you know)) benefits… ‘there are 3 pieces left, why don’t you take it home to your family? Oh wait do you want some (to me)?’ Nope I’m good!! thanks but (HELL) no thanks!! The reason why her HC is in question are way too many reasons to list and they may make it seem like I am paranoid and/or crazy which I very well may be... I’ll be dat! I am just glad our ‘Holiday’ dinner is at a restaurant. Don’t get it twisted though I know what goes on in the restaurant industry. So sending up a prayer of thanksgiving and blessing to the hands that prepared is always always ALWAYS important.

I am feeling some kinda way about Heavy D passing away. He was the epitome of Happy Rap! You know where the hip hop artist actually rapped AND danced!! He wasn’t talking about bling, or material things or anything negative, Heavy D just wanted Love… and sex I suspect! But he was classy about it. I remember seeing Heavy D and ALL the Boyz in concert about a month or so before his dancer ‘Touble’ T-Roy died at the good Civic Arena in Pittsburgh… or should I say the now defunct Civic Arena… which then makes me think about the 1st concert I went to at was it the Stanley?!?! hmm can’t remember with DeBarge (well 3 of them cause Bunny was pregnant and El was sick or something) and Luther Vandross… who is also dead : / Lawd I digress). Back to T-Roy..that was pretty horrific the fact that it was an accident from a stage prop. Heavy D was only 44 which is a little too close for comfort as I approach 38. I mean I know when it’s you time it’s your time and the bottom line is YOU’RE GONNA DIE! But this just makes me want to take better care of myself and enjoy life more. I really think he enjoyed life. If I sit here for a minute I can connect to him within 6 degrees… yep there it is!! Gotta connect the dots in my head. Actually I was shocked to hear Andy Rooney just died. He was like 115… but he too seemed to have lived a good life. And not that you have to have been a celebrity or lived an extra long life because I’m sure there a lot of miserable celebs. Well hell there are miserable regular folks which is why I try to find something good to look forward to every day. Too much negativity can turn toxic. I am a full fledge card carrying member of the theories in ‘The Secret’! Thoughts do become things!

• Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny. – Gandhi
See even Ghandi knew!!

I do not appreciate the fact that I know all too well what a dead rodent smells like in an office. This is going to be a long winter if these critters keep coming into the ceiling area and dying in the walls and vents. NOT A GOOD THING!!

I’m not sure why I don’t feel the effects of my workout until 2 days later. I get up and my legs start to crack and stiffen… Epsom salt take me away!!!

sober random...LOL

have you ever watched people watch you do something? You think well you too can do… whatever it is, but not everyone has the same gumption, so they don’t. Mostly for me it’s travel. I have been a lot of places seen a lot of things and in no way am I close to being done. I won’t even let the fact that I really ain’t got no money hold me back. It blows my mind when people say they haven’t been to certain places. Like I really do take it for granted that EVERYONE has been to New Orleans, or California or Las Vegas or even New York since that is at least on the east coast… but that is so not the case. Really what prompted this are my tweedles… the women who sit up front. I could call them co-workers BUT WHY when tweedle is so much more fun!! The main tweedle has such a fond attachment to her desk that when she does get up it startles me. So naturally when I leave the office for lunch or just cause I need some air the looks I get are rather interesting. Early on (keep in mind I’ve only been here since March… and my gypsy spirit is ready for a change but I must continue to appreciate what I have because jobs are indeed hard to come by!!) I would wait until like 1:30 or 2 starving to death because I wanted to make sure the ladies up front got a proper lunch. But I soon discovered that all they did was heat up their food and plop back down at their desk. Eating at my desk has never been something I liked to do. First of all I am a messy eater so I need to not grease up all the papers on my desk. Second, a break from my desk is so very necessary. The simple act of going somewhere for even 20 minutes can clear my head and think about other stuff that is not work related. Third, one time (at band camp) at a job I was trying to finish up something and ate my salad at my desk and those SOB’s called me to the HR office for me to be let go. SO here I am trying to work hard for a company that did not have any value for me or the work I was doing so… from then on I take my lunch NOT at my desk. I feel some kinda way about the whole lunch thing LOL.

I know money is tight and I truly brown bag it on most days. But like yesterday, I went out to hop in my car and it was so freaking beautiful that I walked on over to McDonald’s. BIG MISTAKE!! So I walk so that act alone is good for my health right? So I’m like I’ll get one of those fruit soothies. WHY is it that what I want is not available? So the little dude behind the counter who it’s clearly his 2nd day asks the manager Cha’taquinetta (I know that was mean but I couldn’t figure out if it was a weave or lace front… it looked good thought cause you know I have a whole separate thing on people and their hair) if the machine had been fixed. So she proceeds to say ‘I am gonna punch you in your throat! I JUST TOLD YOU IT WAS BROKE!!’ So I’m standing there dying laughing cause that shit was funny AND trying to defend little dude so I say well he is asking for me because that’s what I want. So she cuts a look at me, but really I think she thought that I was not the one so she just went on about doing what she needed to do. SO THEN I settle for a McFlurry with oreos. Well damn if the oreos were out… JUST GIVE ME THE M&M’S. I order the snack size and little dude proceeds to try to sell me a snack wrap. I kept saying no a snack mcFlurry. So he looks at the menu… you do know the line is out the door by now… and he says so which snack wrap do you want. so AGAIN I say NO A SNACK McFLURRY!! Cha’taquinetta had to come back over and use her excessively long nails to punch her code in so I can actually get what I wanted which wasn’t really what I wanted but I was settling because I really did need a snack at that point. But I really do not like cold M&M’s so I had to eat my snack size McFlurry slowly

General Randomizations:
• Mr. Dude sitting next to me at church as I try to get my Jesus on, please refrain from texting and/or twittering and/or facebooking while they are passing out communion. Try connecting to the Lord instead and DE-Connect from the world wide web
• why were the PetSmart people really eager to help me today?! Now had I actually had a question them fools would have been nowhere to be found
• to the dude who was actually a little cutie (I am glad today was make-up day… to bad it wasn’t hair day) who showed us how to use the copier we already knew how to use, basic black is always a good color to wear for your pants selection. light grey pinstriped quasi-denim is not a good look… ijs
• it is flu season and I have said this before, I get that the reason you feel bad is because of allergies… but if you cough on me, or sneeze on me WE GON HAVE SOME ISSUES!! cover your mouth and go ahead and use that hand sanitizer on your desk before you start touching shit in the office.
• I am soooo glad I bought a case of 2 buck chuck in Virginia which was actually more like 3 bucks and some change, but HEY it was still cheap AND pretty darn tasty and since I can’t get it in Maryland or PA
• if I ask a question about your products then assume I want to purchase otherwise I would have kept walking and not said anything. That is sales 101 for the vendor who missed out on a sale from me cause he was not interested in giving me eye contact NOR answering my questions. All your stuff looked like a neo would buy it cause they just went over 2 days prior and need to have AKA or DST in big letters cause they are brand new! I aint no new soror and I have seen it all so the little bags you had you LOST BUDDY
• why am I still smelling the stink from PetSmart in my nose… or is it in my clothes?? eww AND why were the dog beds cuter than the cat beds. Paisley won’t know the difference I gotta go back and get one.
• and speaking of stink…. Ima need for all the critters living in the vacant space near my office to not come and die up in my ceiling and then have their tails hanging all out!! Can you say TRAUMITIZED?!?!?
• Jango is my new favorite music station!!! Thanks Chelle for turning me onto it!!
• my hair does look really crazy today. it probably would have been a good idea for me to run a comb through it this morning… I have gotten lazy working in an office of women. what I need to do is chop it all off and maybe dye it blonde… LAWD I need a change!!
• I have started the Firm express again (this is only the second time) and screaming DON’T YOU QUIT ON ME really doesn’t make me want to do an extra lunge
• I have been productive today but this blog has pretty much consumed me so let me sign off…

ummm... 1 and 1/2 glass of jumbo wine... YES on a thursday!!!

last week my reason for going to happy hour with my GGG was because I didn't drop kick no one... This week has proven challenging but again I Have not drop kicked anyone. But the people need it... I'm just saying!!

the Walmart commercial with the sign that says 'just take one' and the little boy dressed up as batman takes 1 but then think HEY no one is looking.. THEN the little girl dressed as a bumble bee take like a HANDFUL of candy and the little boy say 'It says only take one' and she says 'I can't read!' and then take one more for good measure makes me laugh soooo freaking hard LAWD I don't know why.

the Old Navy commercials have taken a horrible turn... I need for the advertising company who thought these were good one to be fired ASAP!!

my cat is confused when I start dancing... she doesn't know if she should say and watch or run away. And if I clap she really is in a tizzy!!

so I have given up on trying to mack the cute UPS dude. I sit in my little office and it is WAY to obvious when I come out to to something random in the front of the office. there is new hope for the cute deer park dude... sadly this is my life LOL several years ago I would anticipate the office supply dude who had crazy tats and gold teef.. OH AND he looked like DMX. He was so hood but I felt a little tingly when he came around

so i 'discovered' the Total wine in my area... my like columbus, it was always there I just didn't know about it!! I was quite the giddy school girl a few weeks ago as I perused and purchased. I am going to go tomorrow!! It's friday AND pay day WHOO HOO!!!

i am finding my inner Ethel (my paternal grandmother) as I collect and justify my collection of mason jars : / not a habit I wanted to take up... but a good jar is a good jar AND a bag really need several uses before being tossed

my inner Barbara wants to quote scripture to the ungodly.. but sadly I can only paraphrase what Jesus and the disciple and nem had said : /

LAWD did I just say the disciples and nem!?!?!? SEE this is why I know there is a God and why He loves me... I take my religion and spirituality seriously but sometimes... not so much!!

it is Grey Anantomy night... why the other day on the radio they said the little cutie with the blue eyes used to be a teacher in Philly. If he was my teacher I would never get NOTHING done!!!

And speaking of radio WHY this morning I almost crashed cause the dude said someone let exotic animals out in Columbus... wait was it Columbus?!?!? yeah I had to google right quick. So this fool said 'White people... jogging is canceled for today... Wait until a black person tells you it is ok to go outside.' I LOST IT!!! I can't remember if it was Ricky Smiley or Steve Harvey show. He ALSO said if the animals make it to Cleveland there would be a sale on bear skin rugs for $39.99 and leopard shoes for $29.99. I was LOL literally... oatmeal flying out my mouth and everything.

Fresh Market in freaking towson has a jelly belly jelly bean section AND jumbo cupckes!! I am trying not to use food to medicate but that just makes me soo very very happy!!

some women just should not wear heals... if it makes you look like 2 sausages holding up a turkey just wear flats

uuummmm... I think that is it!!

remix!!

ok so i got a request for the faithful 5 + 1 readers... if you write it they will come!! Field of Dreams was on the other night. I really like baseball movies... not real sure why but ANYWHO...

Co worker
• You really have decided that you don’t like this person(s)
• you avoid contact as much as possible to keep the peace
• do only work related stuff
• the second you stop working at the job... you have already forgotten their name
• whatever you know about them you really don’t want to know but you do and you live with it

Work Friend
• you genuinely like this person(s)
• you do lunch with them
• they may not have been to your house but the next event you have they might actually get an invite
• they know something about you that is personal (and vice versa)
• they might become a ‘friend’ friend
• you talk about co-workers with your work friend
• There are inside joke that only work friend knows about….
o Delicate Genius (which by the way she is NOT)
o LITERALLY (not everything is literal.. but saying every syllable of this word is hellarious!!)
o Midge the Pidge
o And who could forget… Cheese Trays are FUN!!


the indent does not work from word to the blogger...

jibber jabber...

so i've been thinking lately. Not too often and not to hard mind you! but there is truly a difference between a co-worker and a work friend. a co-worker is someone you work with and really don't care if they had a good weekend or bad NOR do you want to share that you had a kick ass weekend! where the most gangster thing you did probably could have gotten you fired from your temp bartending job... but HEY you did it anyway!! a co-worker is someone who you question every dumb ass move they make because they are not really your friend they dont have your back and you most definitely don't have there's which is why I am happily under the bus by my lonesome and the view from under there is not so bad... maybe I can lay low under there. That's what I've been thinking

so... I've noticed I start alot of my sentences with so. I need to check myself before I wreck myself!!

Chris, we still would make a kick ass Amazing Race team!! All the teams are so predictable.

so i like saying kick ass!!

My cat's ass is on my leg. She likes to be really REALLY close. me, I could use a little space!!

nope I just like saying ass!!

Nick Lachey looks like he really works out... yummy!!

why do hole in the wall greasy spoons put those big ass plants in the windows that nobody takes care of?!? how about just washing the windows? And why is the food soo good. My little pizza I had today I'm sure clogged several arteries! and my cherry coke... LOVE the cherry coke!!

that's enough jibber jabber... and the champagne is gone :)

general pet peevery

**LOUD SIGH**... I have tried over my many years of living and working to ignore what other people say and do that seems to NOT go with the flow of how I live and/or work. But it has gotten to a point I gotta get it off my chest!! I CANT TAKE NO MO!!!

ok so remember back before the new newer monitors, whenever someone touched the screen would leave what seemed like a lasting fingerprint no matter how much Windex you used?!!? That used to get on my last nerve. And I had a few co-workers who knew this about me and would do it on purpose just to see me have a fit. It used to be a HUGE pet peeve, but I have since let that go.

Another one was people picking up my stuff off the printer. Now I know when you share a printer or fax machine it may seem courteous top get my document and bring it to me. But I used to HATE for people to touch 'my stuff'. There was an order and a process to everything I did, which again... I have let it go.

SO NOW... there are in fact a few things that just rub my feathers the wrong way and I know one day this tweedle (that would be my name for this woman I work with... think Alice and Wonderland.. and not Dee... but Dumb and Dumber!!) this chick is going to catch me on an ABC (that would be angry black chick) day and she is going to turn redder than she usually is. WHEW I already feel better and I haven't even listed the violations...

*I know it's lunch time, but go ahead and either wash that dirty dish or DON'T leave it on the counter with all the lunch remnants. OH and go ahead and clean out the sink while your at it cause the rice you had yesterday is still right where you left it in the sink.

*Once in a while say something positive. Like WOW isn't today a beautiful day!! OR Don't the plants we have in this office circulate some great fresh air?!? Let's try that instead of I hate the rain... and your boss brought all these plants in here. OOOOhhhhh and for those of you who don't know me... I AM the boss of me, so that day I said back to her Well I am the boss of me and I don't recall buying all these plants. She just did a blank stare looking like the seagulls in Finding Nemo (you know the ones that sit around waiting for a fish saying MINE... MINE... MINE...) LAWD I forgot how funny that scene was.

*It's ok to run out of stuff like say coffee and paper. I need to express how small my office is. There are 5 people. 1 comes in once every 3 weeks or so. 1 travels quite a bit so in any given week she is there maybe 3 days. And then we have the temp who is there part time. And then random folks from the New York officeevery so often. SO on any given day there are MAYBE 3 people in the office. Please explain to me why we need 10 boxes of the K-cup coffee when only 1 of the 3 people drink that mess (I hate the Kuerig... I don't know why I just do)? And WHY do we have a full box of paper that was just delivered (even though that did mean the cute UPS driver came that day) when we already had a good 10 reams of paper in various places throughout the office. Now at some point or another I have had part time jobs where I have needed to utilize the copier and 'extra' paper to market my side hustle. And I could appreciate it if that was why this chick buys so much freaking paper BUT THAT'S NOT THE REASON. She buys it because she can and wants to make sure we use up all of our monthly allotted supply budget of frivolous stuff. So when I asked her to get me some splenda, that fool got my the smallest box imaginable. It's funny but sort of ridiculous. Ok so this one was a vent more than a peeve.

*If I write something on a post-it, send it to you as an email, AND explain it to you in person and you still don't get it, IT'S REALLY NOT ME!!! This would be New Tweedle (aka the temp). Some days I just have to shake my head and explain the shit 10 times. Other days I say FIGURE IT OUT!!! Like today I said 'well what do YOU think?' Here again... blank stare. But she actually did figure it out so you know that's always good.

I know I need to relax, relate, and praise Little baby Jesus this is my release. I can't keep it bottle up inside or else I would burst. And there would be to many fragments of a random chick everywhere

VMA 2011

WTF?!?! NO SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FARFIGNEWTON IS GOING ON HERE??? so I know I will not be able to make it through this whole show. But lets do a quick recap shall we?!?

Chris Brown - YES he can dance and for the most part lip sync pretty well. But I totally missed the Wu-Tang and Nirvana references

The chick in the chair with the broke leg - ok so I did a google search and that's Jessie J who I have no good bad or indifferent idea who that is. What I do know is she is butchering pretty much EVERY song she 'sings'

Lady er Mr Gaga DA HELL was that - so I want no I NEED whatever drug that chick is on because it is clearly very good!! So she is doing the intro or whatever for Britney Spears. Who HOLE UP did I see a tear?!? Ok so they mashed up a few of Britney's top song to one horrible techno beat. I mean I would be insulted if they did that to my music but she seemed thrilled. And then she says thank you which she is getting the Freaking Michael Jackson video Vanguard award which is an HONOR... she has had some amazing videos over the years. but did the MTV people think she was incapable of writing a speech?? I mean they CLEARLY think she is an idiot. The Mr Gaga is standing there looking at her lustfully which was very weird... so then she starts talking about Beyonce who apparently is the next act... UMM EXCUSE ME.. this is my moment let someone else bring Beyonce on!!! This was a total thunder stealing moment. I'm just saying

So now Beyonce who has PANTS on.. this chick never wears pants. Oh but I guess wearing a unitard is now inappropriate for the mom to be. SO Jay-Z in the audience with Kanye giving him dap (I'm telling my age)like yep I hit that!! I mean we all know they are married but do you think they actually DO IT?!?! Yes people this is what I sit around and think about!!!

Cloris Leachman - a booty call from PaulyD!!!! bwaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa She is so hilarious.

OKAY so on commercial break i attempted to watch Basketball wives LA. WHO ARE THESE WOMEN?!?! Who has time to be that dramatic all the fucking time. The only person who I know of is Ron Artest and that's cause his ass is crazy. But his wife err 'partner' seems tooooo funny. At least for this show there are more wives, but so they put the chick who dates players on the show for added drama which the 'wives' seem to have enough of all on their own. I guess the formula works and I guess someone is getting paid.

Kim K - ok I'm going out of order - but is it me or does her (along with her sisters AND mama) voice make you wanna slit your wrists?!?!? I CAN'T STAND IT!!

Taylor Lautner - If i was 14 I would have a crush on him : / OK so what... I'm 37 and I FREAKING LOVE TAYLOR LAUTNER!!! HE is so yummy!! LAWD is he legal??? LOL

Katy Perry - um all purple from the hair to the shoes... uuuuhhh OK.. a lil later in the show... HOLE UP she has a piece of cheese on her head... its a lil extra but hey it's MTV

Adele - it is soooo hard to believe this little girl is 21!! She writes most of her songs and I just don't remember having lived THAT much at 19 and then 21 to have written so much thought provoking music. She is so talented!!

Bruno Mars - he's doing a tribute to Amy Winehouse another talent gone way toooo soon. Ok so I really want to like Bruno I really do... but hell I do I mean his voice is nice. He is on the verge of being a cutie and his teeth are annoyingly straight. They just flashed the camera in the audience of Shaun White... he has hoodies at Target FYI along with DENIM!

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR is lil wayne with his lil ugly tatted up ass closing the show?!?!? I mean there are those who look sexy with tats BUT HE AINT ONE OF EM!!! The Rock comes to mind first. hmmm... OK so this is my perverted thought about lil wayne.... I'm thinking it's ALL LITTLE. he does not look like he is working with much. I mean his money is big and I guess that is enough.

SOOOOOooooo this award show did not have a host? It's a hostless show? IT was good I guess. I am just a little removed from who the heck some of these people are. Like the little boy who won something and then came onstage with his WHOLE crew dropped about fifty F bombs and then said HEY KIDS you can do this shit too!! classic.

sangria random...

so you know basically when I have a little vino of ANY kind my thought process goes into freakin OVERDRIVE. So bear with me friends...

where do you find a size 3x shirt with tinker bell on it? AND why would you think over 50 is an appropriate age and size (note I said 3X) to be wearing this shit? So you got up this morning.. no wait you found this shirt whenever you found it and though HEY I'M 55 AND I NEED A DAMN TINKERBELL SHIRT!!!!

why am I so freaking addicted to American Ninja Warrior?!?!? It is a bunch of crazy ass white dudes doing a bunch of crazy ass stunts so they can get a deal with K-Swiss. It is normally on G4 which is i guess an NBC affiliate because it has been on this station too... IT's like the fitness person's Wipeout. Which AGAIN is crazy ass folk (not just white dudes in this case) doing crazy ass things to get like 50k. WHEW its soooo funny. When theses people fall in the water LAWD it's funny. I don't even really need the hookie commentary is needed but that shit is funny too!!

I know I am a cornball. This is something I relish in. I know I deal with people on a level few can deal. I am my mama's child. This woman (my mother that is) would be talking to folks like they were her best friends. I used to get so embarrased as yutz (now I could go into a whole joe pesci thing with the yutz because My Cousin Vinny has be in heavy rotaiton on like USA or TNT one of them stations and for some reason the other day OH I REMEMBER WHY... someons's name was goetz and I was like whatever Leo wants Leos Gets... from onw of them LEtha Weapons) but now I am the one who talks to folks like they are my besties. I just have a connection. SO it ANNOYS me to no end when my silly ass co-workers are bothered by the needs of the folks that call when in essence that is their job!!!

COMMERICIALS... The Target with the Music teacher dude singing the list. DENIM...graphic tees leggins AND TUNICS.. more denim back packs headphones HAIR GEL... denim converse one star shoes... DENIM shaun white hoodies AND DENIM!!!! I have already made the disclaimer that I am a cornball so you know... I am okay with knowing this commericial inside and out because if your kids want to sound COOL they do indeed need to LOOK COOL!!! And then the teacher who has the hamsters CLARK!!! What the hell is Clark doing to get reprimanded?? I mean he's a hamster. But for this list (which I do not know by heart) but I do know Tape that sticks.... and Glitter... SO MUCH GLITTER!!!

Basketball Wives... I am slightly ashamed that I DVR'd the episode where the dude threw the drink in Jen's face. CLASSIC FUNNY SHIT!!! It just is hilarious to me that women that old, bicker, argue and FIGHT with each other. I am so above the drama that when anyone tries to throw it my way and bob and weave... OH AND SPEAKING OF WEAVE. there are too many naked horses. And it wouldn't even be so bad if they weren't blatant weaves. I mean go ahead make ya hair a lil longer BUT DAMN in for real life it wouldn't never had got that long. I mean in for real for real life!! And really you asked... or rather LET Al Reynolds hook you up?!? I was like that dude is just as pretty as Al so (stealing the words of Ed Lover) COME ON SON!!! COME ON... Pure Hilarity. So 'they' don't like Royce who I don't even know why she is on the show... but then again NO ONE is a wife so the show should prolly be called Basketball used to be Wives and General Hanger On'ers. Oh and she is so pressed for fame that she might be doing a porn cause really what else would Eric 'permanent knot on my head' aka ugly ass (yes I know it's mean but SO VERY True) Williams be "producing". I'm just saying. That don't smell legit to me... if it walk like a duck it prolly is a duck (bka PORN) And Suzie... yes chick you do talk to much. Meeka ummm yeah I don't even know what to say about you but when Evelyn said YA SHIT IS BOOTLEG DEN... I liked to die laughing. It was funny watching John Sally LOL at all the shenanigans on the reunion shows.

I'ma need for there to be food truck and more unique eats in the Delmarva area. I can't think about going to Toronto or British Columbia to find some good food. In fact... I want to put together an Epicurean Tour of some of the places I have seen on Food TV and Cooking V. I be watching and I INSTANTLY get hungry. I must go to Jimmy Buff's in New Jersey... then there is this Pork food truck somewhere I gotta go google it and yet another pork place in NYC... and then there is this dessert shop in NYC. AND oh yeah I need to drop 50 pounds before I even think any further about this 'trip'. I think I could sell this. Like the Kramer Experience... because after all doesn't everything relate back to Seinfeld?!!? (or Steinfeld as my mother says) LOL

One other thing I have learned from Unsung (the show in TV One showcases groups that coulda been bigger stars but kinda weren't) Don't sign away your rights!! The most recent one was The Sylvers. Now I was born in the 70's but really I am an 80's and 90's kid. My older sibling were more 70's kids which is why I knew who the heck they are. And my dad in all his technologicalness had the movie camera of us doing the HOTLINE!!! We even had a mic which I think may have gone to like the stereo or something... or maybe nothing?!? But anyways. The manager they had was getting 50%. When I heard this I was like WHAT?!?!? HOLE UP... rewind DVR... no YEP them fools said 50%. And the One with Mary Wells... the settlement she signed, signed away her royalty rights. Now I have some definite thoughts on the whole Motown machine but really?!?!? Did she just not have lawyers on her side?

I am ready to go out and buy a Rav4. LL Cool J is the spokes... err dog and is that not the coolest thing?!?!?

if you call me at 11:37 at night I'ma need for that to be a booty call!! Not my cousin checking to see if I was ok from the earthquake WHICH by the way I didn't even realize WAS an earthquake until my co-worker had told me. What had happened is I needed some jelly beans which you can't really get in August even at Easter time I had a hard time tryna find the Sunkist ones I like. And you really can only get the Jelly Belly jelly beans if you are like at the airport paying something crazy like $5.99 a pound soooooo if I want jelly beans I gotta get mike and ikes which essentially are jelly beans... so I'm at the dollar store messing around cause who wants to rush back to work. They workers were stalking the shelves and alla sudden I hear and feel a rumble and I though hmmm someone musta knocked the cart over LOL

ok it is 9:16 and I am ret to go to bed

NEW EDITION!!!

ok so VH1 soul is playing the 'soul story' of New Edition. I'm sippin on my jumbo wine and watching the videos. LORD those videos were bad and even worse were Ralph Tresvant's teeth THANK GOD he used some of his earnings to get some braces. OOOWWW but I loved them. Ronnie Devoe was MY MAN and it seriously hurt my feeling the 'Cool it Now' video he was with another girl!!! HOW DARE HE!?!?!? Didn't he feel my love all the way from Pittsburgh?? I remember my cousin trying to pacify my irrational feelings, but she was younger than me and I don't suspect her love ran as deep. I had the 'Right On' picture of them(and DeBarge... my loyalties were pretty equal at that time. Either with Ronnie Devoe or El DeBarge I was gonna have me some beige babies... at ten I was already planning my family LOL) Ronnie never did have eyebrows.

AND THE OUTFITS!!! Someone should be shot for letting them look like that LOL. And the bad choreography. SOMEONE always messed up a move and it is hilarious at 37 to watch this. These are the early videos. They got better.

Then Bobby Brown left... and i got that tape King of Stage. But NE was still rocking bad videos and choreo. But you couldn't tell me they were not THEE best group in the world.

Ok so between Earth Angel (this was the cover they did for Karate Kid Part II(why can I not say karate like KA rawty... I have to say KA RA TAY... that from the Seinfeld epsisode where Kramer was beating up the little kids)) they musta did a 360.. cause If It Isn't Love is HOOTNEESSS.. OK I'm mad at VH1 did they miss the video after if it isn't love??? These are the Johnny Gill years... Actually as I am searching my memory banks I remember seeing them several times with Johnny Gill and not Bobby Brown. But I also remember Bobby was on tour with like Al B Sure maybe?!?!? ok so I had to go to freakin you tube SORRY this was a concert video and I love a continuation.. btw I am NOT a happy vcamper that Ne-Yo just left us all hanging... but I digress which is MY prerogative!! LOL

So now they are showing the older videos with Bobby Brown AND Johnny Gill. Now I must say at that time. When Bobby Brown was tabloid king BEFORE the whole Whitney situation... he coulda had got it!!! I always thought he was kinda sexy. But these days he's just a lil too sloppy. And I aint talking weight. What is HELLA funny is the chick he is married to now used to live a few doors down from me at the good Virginia State University HIGH above the Appomattox!!! Also what's funny is Johnny Gill never could... I mean I know how it sounds to say who could and could not GET IT. That sounds soooo... whore-ish. But hey, I know everyone has a celebrity crush. It's not like it will ever happen. I mean IT COULD. But in reality not so much. My biggest and hardest crushes were when I was a 'tween' to about 13 or 14. NOW what's sad is I don't like nobody...

Oh well 'SOUL Story' is over!!

bad bosses

a new movie. And pretty darn relevant. Ever since I saw the preview i start going through my list of so many many MANY bosses. And I should probably stop right there because I have never liked the term BOSS. It sounds so antiquated so like we are back in slavery times and I have to shuck and jive to find out what da boss wants me to do next. BUT it is not that serious it's just a term meaning your ass aint in charge someone else is and whatever the orders are, you gotta do it.

SO any who... bad bosses. It's actually probably easier for me to locate the 'good' bosses, like the one who would demand I take off cause I needed some rest and not dock me for time. Or the one who would actually praise the work I'd done and let everyone know that I had done a good job. But, that is so rare. I usually like to instill a healthy dose of fear in my bosses. And that can be tricky because if they are too afraid then I become a threat. I remember one time I yelled at a boss and he kinda liked it, probably too much, in fact he said OH I LIKE THE WAY YOU TALK TO ME!! But for all the jobs I have had, dominatrix is not one of them LOL although... never say never. I might need to check craig's list for that job.

I can't come up with a top list. But here are some:

There were 2 marines... um I didn't join the military for a reason. I'm not a sir yes sir kinda chick. But one who wore WAY to much cologne ... well he was short with short little arms so I know he had a napoleon complex. He liked to only hear good reports from the staff but he did NOTHING to encourage good things to happen. The other was always on a power trip, like I bet I can make you do what I say!! I mostly ignored him and that only mad him madder.

Then there was the woman who I would go to her with questions and she would reply to any questioning email to everyone on the team and have her main flunky to come a throw under me the bus. I had to exit stage left REAL fast out of that department.

LORD so many...and unfortunately most of them are women : /

The was the one who wrote me up for making a 'non-verbal' communication which was considered insubordination : I

The one who told me... i didn't need to ask question i just needed to DO THE WORK!

The one with bad teeth AND bad wigs... she was just the freaking worst!! (i guess it would be mean to say she was beauty challenged... but alas it's true). She did everything wrong LOL

Ok I need to insert something positive. uuuhhhhh..... i got nothing!!

SO i really need to go see that movie. I wonder if it will turn into a cult classic like 'Office Space'. I know I quote far too much from that movie because you have to wonder if 15 pieces of flair is really enough?!?

i'm a lil late...

What else is new! I am DVR queen and just now watching the BET Awards. So I felt it prudent to write a blog instead of doing FB updates cause folks would be like what the heck is she talkin about!!?!?

So here are my thought AS I watch cause I got pause, rewind AND fast forward

Mary J. Blige... I think she shoulda had just a few more rehearsals before she came onstage. I want to like her performance, but seeing some of the audience reaction was funny. And since she brought Anita Baker on the stage WHY does Anita here lately look like her hair appointment is the next day. It's too short and the cut is too good for it to look a mess all the damn time. She needs a stylist, not a Marshall's special.

oh I see this gon be a long few hours. I can't even get through this performance LOL. OK so my ignorant thought is I know this is a free for all but can we get some more black children in the front pit areas?!??! Are the Michael Jackson's kids???

DAMN DAMN DAMN... I only got a 1/2 hour of show. My DVR is slipping. So now I'm wondering when in the show MAry J. Blige. So I'll carry on... and then write another one when I see the whole thing

DID those fools just sit down?!?! Jada Kiss and DJ Khalid?? They did their part and sat down on the steps. And rappers well ANYONE with face tattoo's YUCK!!

meanwhile... as I go fix a plate. My kitchen is hot as hades... not sure why i needed baked jerk chicken but it's good so it was worth it

Kevin PHI Kevin LMBAO!!!! Whew... he rehearsed. Too funny. Trey Songz chest looks like a beige grey hound...

da hell is rick Ross doing?!?! He's walking his big ass around to a track and hasn't started rapping yet... oh ok its a live show, could the chick who sang the hook could she have been invited to sing live?!?!? oh good LAWD Rick unzipped his jacket. Just like Kevin Hart just said.. he needs a NO MAN!!!

ok DVR just turned the show off. Maybe it couldn't take it?!?!?

I also just saw Meet the Browns... the movie. Yes late on that one too. So was Angela Bassett's character supposed to be younger?!?! A few times she was referred to as a young mother and Angie pushin 50... so I'm confused. Cora who is Madea's daughter has 2 girls but on the TV show she doesn't. Oh and the whole set up for Madea Goes to Jail movie was sooooooo week. I did enjoy Rick Fox. He ALWAYS makes me smile. And Angela get's the house moves back to Chicago and then moves back to GA and it was redone and everyone including Jenifer Lewis' character welcomed her back. I was just like really? I was funny... the grandiddy part was hilarious. Actually most of the scenes with Brown were funny.

ok that's it...

friday night random shiznit!!

irregardless IS NOT A WORD and I'ma need for you to stop saying that before I strangle you!!

little girls always try to punk their dads but this little girl tonight at marshalls said to her dad "I am going to choose a gift and you can get it for my birthday. BUT if it's cheap you can just get it now" I mean it didn't work but that shit was HELLARIOUS!!!

my road rage is going to catch up to me one day. BIG ass trucks and their big ass drivers YOU DON'T SCARE ME!!! But if I stick out my tongue at you BEWARE... I might be following you like george costanza did the driver with the dude with the broken/casted up middle finger

so the nasty lady at panera bread pushes the designated lemon tongs to the side and reaches her fat hand into the lemon container. squeezes lemon. REACHES HER FAT NASTY HAND BACK IN to get lemon #2 THEN... OH IT GETS WORSE... shakes her now lemony hands into the lemon container where all the 'fresh' lemons are!! I was standing there GLAD I got the Mt Dew and looking at her like YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!

to the UPS driver that was kinda sweaty the other day...you were still cute as hell sweat and all. And YES i will be poking my head out of my office to say 'how YOU doin" ERR chance I get!! ***big cheesy grin**

when my cat is in the corner licking her lady parts I say 'HEY ARE YOU LICKING THAT BOOTY???' She really does NOT appreciate that in fact she rolls her eyes and usually storms off in a huff. HEY alls I'm saying if I could lick my booty I would want folks to cheer me on!!

popcorn and wine really are a good pair for a meal

it is 2011 the muscle shirt has run it's course and if you are BOLD enough to walk your corny, out of shape ass in front of me, OH YEAH I'ma say something. And it's gonna be loud ESPECIALLY if I had some wine/vodka/rum. OH AND I know your ass is corny cause cause at the event where all the raven's were supposedly 'ballin' your cheap ass gave me a dollar... I needed for you to make it rain!! LMBAO

it's a divided highway. you are not shunned to the left for all eternity!!! That's what I want to yell at ALLLLLL the drivers on 695 who have made my morning commute 5 minutes longer. but for real I'm not complaining cause the whole commute is only 20 minutes!!

to the dunkin donut dude this morning, 1 ketchup IS NOT enough. I know you are the owner/cashier but if you don't give me more for my delicious (have you tried the hash brown there THEY ARE YUMMY!!!) hash browns I AM GONNA GET OUT THE CAR and it's GON GET UGLY!! #doNOTdenyme

to the moms at the chick fil-a... its only 3 of you and 3 kids... you do NOT need 4 tables. So stop looking at me sideways when I sit at the onliest table you haven't dirtied up. OOOHHH and do the lice check AT HOME!! I do not need to know that 5 kids from billy's daycare had lice and it just occured to you to check his head. not cute OR sanitary at all.

I KNOW IT'S HOT... but calling me every 10 minutes is not going to get the HVAC contractor to your site any faster #chillout before a sista gets nasty

actually I didn't ask you to assess the mood of the current caller. if they called for me, I can handle it!! Trust me this aint my first time to the rodeo and when I finish with this fool on the phone he will be writing a letter of praise about me! I GOT THIS!!!

if your bill is $49.13 and you give me a fifty... THAT IS A BAD TIP AND you should NEVER go out to eat EVER EVER EVER again!!!

dude you ordered a cosmo, it COMES in a martini glass, stop trying act like your manly self can't drink a girly drink. that's what YOU ordered... I'm just saying

I lost all my cool points last week when I DID walk into a glass door. (a few weeks prior I stopped short of walking into the door cause I thought it was automatic) The dude on a date tried not to laugh and the chick was like what happened but, I STARTED LAUGHING cause it was hella funny!! I am in rebuilding mode now. I plan to be at a 1000 by year end.

don't show me your new sandals if you didn't bother to take your crusty feet to the nail salon to get a pedi. I threw up a little when you made me look... feet maintenance is essential

thank you for saying I did a good job... CAUSE I DID!! LOL #notmodest :)

i really don't get the # thing, but I know it's a twtitter thing and I think it makes me look cool. HEY it might help me to #rebuildmycoolpoints.com LOL

which brings me to the Braxtons and that mess of a show they have on air... to be honest I've only seen 1 whole show and only parts of others, but tamar and her husband look SOOOOO mismatched. isITlove.com OR isHEpaid.net?!?!? toni... umm your kids look like your ex, and he wasn't the cute one from Mint Condition. The 3 sisters that did the CD I actually have it and it wasn't bad at all!!! the sister that got preggers when the deal was signed.. either tell toni you WANT to sing back-up, or just let it go. Stop crying the blues about the past!!

I was done 1/2 hour ago but then thought of more stuff... BLACK PEOPLE... please Please PLEASE stop using your tee-shirt/sweatshirt, medallions, side of your car back window of you car as a memorial for someone who either was killed or died of natural causes. It's just soooo not a good look!! I have lost family for all types of reasons, but funeralizing them on a shirt is not the way to go.

ok soo... most of this is stuff I just be thinking as my day goes on. Some are too mean for FB status updates. Other stuff I'm just like WOW did you/I just say/do that?!?!? And then most times I'm just too tired of being online to post stuff or write a new blog. Even right now the girls are free and I am about to go to bed. The restaurant stuff is never ending. ACTUALLY the 9-5 stuff is too... that would be some of my 50eleven jobs. that's it, FOR NOW!!

random CD reviews!!

It's HERE people!! The summer edition of what to buy for you summer listening pleasures. Ok so granted I only bought 3 CD's but all are MUST HAVES! And actually I guess I missed the fall and winter, but you know me... RANDOM!!!!!!!

Let's start with Kelly Price and her aptly named CD KELLY. I love a good soulful churchy voice any day but there is truly something special about Kelly Price. What is that specialness you ask... CONTROL!!! In my opinion she doesn't over sing a song or scream or shout much like your Fantasia's or even I'ma say it Areatha's. She sings the song you get the sultriness when your supposed to, the pain when you're supposed to, the joy and every other emotion you suppose to get YOU GET!!. I was craving this CD and it delivers all the time!! The first release was 'You're not my Daddy' with that sexy lil Stokley from Mint Condition (y'all should know by now I like a man and a gap :) So I'm sure I heard it either on the Steve Harvey or Tom Joyner morning show. And as I drove up 695 I was SCREAMING Literally. LIKE OMG KELLY IS BACK!!! And then I rushed to Amazon.com only to be told I had to pre-order. Then I was like DAMN DAMN DAMN!!! Cause a pre-order means them fools don't know when the CD is coming out and it may get pushed back and I aint got time for all that. Lord I can't find it and you know I'm goggling like crazy. But there was an award show and a bunch of black female artist did a tribute to I FOUND IT!!! Ok so.. Kelly was first and it gave me chills!! Actually her and Lalah were the onliest ones who did justice to the song/tribute. IN FACT since Lalah is my BFF I had a post that said That is HOW you DO IT!! Ok wait... Lalah did another tribute on another show LOL ANYWAYS... Kelly just has a tremendous amount of freaking control!! And I love her CD. Now I know she said on the back cover in her thank yous that she is still with her hubby of like forever years, but she either has some good ass writers or he really put her through some shit over the years. I do know he has a child with some other woman right when they were about to get married, and she has pretty much raised the child as her own. So my favorite song... I don't know that I have a favorite song, but 'Tired' and 'I'm Sorry' they go THERE!! You may not want to be driving as I was when listening cause I got all kinds of misty eyed. When sista gurl says she's even tired of going to church... YOU FEEL it!! 'Himaholic' sometimes you are overly invested in a man because well JUST BECAUSE!! Her voice is so perfectly matched with Stokely who by the way wears a tight ass leather shirt in the video. But it's aiight... he soo could get it LOL. She does so many nods to the women and music of the past, including Aretha and Gladys. Just so freaking Soulful. This CD is in constant rotation in the 03 Corolla!!

OK... whew

Anthony David - As Above So Below.
I don't know what he did to be less indy, but he is being played way more often on HUR and 95.9 so it's alllll good!! The first time I heard him was at (the now defunct) Jazzy Summer nights in Baltimore several years ago. First song 'YES' LEt me find that right quick. It was just him and the guitar and I was in love instantly!! Live music can do something to me. And in my seat to the left of the stage in my blue fold up chair. I think I looked around like... IS THIS FOOL SINGING TO ME!?!?!? I'm getting chills now thinking about it. SO naturally after I had to go get the CD and get it signed AND he is not hard on the eye at all!! So the love stuck LOL. So fast forward to this CD. He is just an awesome song writer. In 'Backstreet' the lyric he wrote about a gun... it's just the thing to separate your soul from your body... WHO would think to write that?? now he did a few teasers on FB 'Let me In' was the 1st song I heard followed soon after with '4evermore' with Alegebra. Which I got a lil salty cause when artist releases songs on FB that means it may get pushed back OR not released at all. But I went to a listening party and knew it would be good... well I KNEW it would be good not having gone to the listening party. I think his first CD was the purest, more him and the guitar, as the CD's progress they get a little more produced and kinda radio friendly. But he still has a great voice and this is a must have TRUST!! "GetAround' he is trying to tell the woman that he hasn't be all that faithful in past relationships, but when he says ...SHAWTY I GET AROUND!!! I love that line. If you are a recipient of my 'MIXTAPES' the title song will be on the next one. 'As Above So Below' puts me in a calm mood, so just what I need when dealing with the pilgrims (as my friend Foxxy would say LOL). And then 'Girlfriend' uuuhhh alls I got to say about that song is SEX ROBOTS!!

Now the 3rd CD in this random review is Mint Condition - uuummm because the 2 afore mentioned CD's are in constant rotation I can honestly say I have no idea if it is good or bad... BUT I will say that I am a Mint Condition fan and even though I wasn't really feeling E-Life (their last CD) and The Mint Factory is till probably my favorite CD, aw man I might hafta pull that CD out. YEAH. SOOOOOooooo we are gonna go with a 'get-it-cause-you're-a-fan' rationale for their newest CD. And we know Stokley is sexy and actually the WHOLE band looks sexy on the cover. 'I'm not you're Daddy' is on this CD too.

RUN DON'T WALK to your nearest CD store or online outlet to get these CD's!!! Here's what I looking forward to Lalah... cause she is always getting ret to come out with something. Rahsaan... cause I HOPE he is getting ret to come out with something. Ledisi, she really IS getting ret to come out with a CD. Algebra Blesset I hope she got her deal done so she can come out with something. 1 CD is not enough. Jill Scott which I wish she would do that tour agian with Eryka Badu and Queen LAtifah. I'm on Soul Tracks now. They do some good reviews. And Ke Ke Wyatt is on the front 'page'. She did a few duets with Avant back in the early 2000's. Then she stabbed her husband or something crazy.. anyway she seems to be back. Soul Bounce is another site that has some good stuff on it.

Here’s what I hate…
• auto correct cause hey sometimes the word was meant to be misspelled or maybe I needed to do all lowercase.
• People who yell at me when it’s not my damn fault. No I can’t read you mind soooooo nope I didn’t realize how important it was
• People who hold grudges or stay angry. Life is too short and if you all your energy to go into being mad at me then hey… do you
• Stupid people ACTUALLY what I hate is the fact that I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but when you prove to me over and over and OVER that your brains are full of straw then please stop wasting my time by talking to me
• Drama for no reason. Yes drama does have its time and place, but all the freaking time?!?! NO Too exhausting

Here’s what I love...
• My cat waiting pawing for my attention at the window when I walk up to my house and then ignoring me when I actually open up the door
• The color purple, because I am NOT tryna piss God off!!! There is this median I pass that has about 3 different purple flowers and it just so BEA-U-TI-FUL!!!
• The fact that I still only have about 5 faithful followers LOL
• I need a 4th thing to even it out, but off the cuff I can’t think of one. I could just keep typing. I mean my blog, my rules. So this bullet would just not really be just a quick note of reference but rather an actual blog… OH WAIT I GOT ONE!!
• That it is spring. Cool on some days warm/hot on others. But I love this time of year
• That I can admit that I’m a QVC junkie… YES I did buy TSV (that would be today’s special value:) last Saturday AND I did easy pay and I’ll do it again dammit!! And I look pretty cute today with my Mally make-up!!

I'm IN!!!

ok maybe for a minute cause my new job has a helluva firewall... but y'all know me, I always know a way around. Random Chick WILL be heard.

**loud sigh**
Not too sure what I have to say. It's been so bottled up. I just be thinking my random thoughts and then go on about my biz.

I have a good handle on my 50elven jobs. AND (drum roll please) I actually am liking both of my jobs. It has been a minute a long LONG minute since I have just LIKED my job. I was even telling the little girl here (alright ok... she is a grown ass woman, but some of her decisions make me think of a little girl) that even when I was making the big bucks, I just wasn't happy. I think it is easy to say do what you love and find your true passion in life when, mortgage/rent, BGE, Verizon, cable and whatever else bills you got aren't breathing down your neck. Mental note... call Verszon so they don't turn ya shit off!! Like I think it's easy for Oprah to say do only what you love, she's a freaking BILLIONAIRE so... you know easy. Although, and I can't be 100% sure, but I think she did find her passion early in life and knew what to do with it early on. So folks are still just searching and have an uneasyness all their life. There is this song by N'Dambi called 'Imatator' now it's about a couple who they just got comfortable with the status quo but I think most people just get comfortable with mediocrity, being average, or not pursuing their dream because its easy to be comfortable. And the woamn wants out!! "You're so comfortable with the stop we made/to happy now/ with your/ sun in the shade! I hope you find that one thing ONE thing/ that makes you happy/ cause it can't be me!" Now normally I would post a lil link, but I have every expectation that I'ma be shut down any minute now LOL

In general right now I have such a peace of mind! And to be honest NO ONE can bring me down. I don't have time or the drama and 1 of the women (the lead tweedle... short for tweedle dumb) is so dramatic for no good damn reason. I just looked at her yesterday and thought how sad she truly must be. And all I can do is pray for her cause I will not be brought down by her foolishness. ACTUALLY at the other job there is this other dude who I think just needs a hug, he seems so miserable all the time. His efforts to 'tell me off' were thwarted when I kinda started laughing at him. But again folks hold on to sooo much stuff and instead of letting go and healing, they hold onto whatever IT is and allow cancers to grow.

So that's it on the 'job' front. There is no 'love life' to speak of but I am accepting applications. I am getting to old to be the 'jump off' LMBAO. And Baltimore is so small sharing is inevitable. I need to head to Philly or Jersey or somewhere that is NOT here to find my prince charming.

The house is doing well. As much as I don't want to sound racist, I really do need to go to one of them spots and hire a few hispanics to do some yard work and work around the house. But I'm too scared. Yet another reason why I need a renta-husband or something like that.

It is show-ya-toes season and if you are rocking some ugly toes don't be offended if I throw up on your feet!!!

OKAY that should do it for now!

general random **SPRING EDITION**

My new most favorite Oprah quote is ‘that is the most craziest ass thing’!!! She said it on one of those behind the scene shows and it is just so funny to me cause soooo many thing are the craziest ass things. Like for instance, how do you sign a contract and NOT read it and then when it comes back you’re like OH WAIT THAT WAS WRONG!!! Or I keep wearing these pants that have no button and are slightly high watery… yet I keep wearing them like they are brand new!! See CRAZIEST ASS THING!!

I have been having an attack of the pet peeves lately. For so long so many thing have just ceased to bother me as much as they used to but these little suckers are rearing their ugly head. Like the whole fax and printer thing… No I actually didn’t ask you to get those papers for me SO LEAVE THEM THERE!! They aren’t bothering you and yes I DO have a system so WTF are you bothering them?!?!? Yeah I know it’s petty, I’ll own that but it just bugs me soooooooo much. And let me finish asking my question so you can answer what I ask you instead of assuming what you think I’m about to say. It’s called active listening folks, it’s only gonna take me 5 more seconds and I need for you to digest what I say AND THEN provide a good answer for me. There are really only a few folks that know me well enough to know what I’m thinking or about to say AND you aint one of them so just be patient and listen to the damn question. Colored paperclips are just dumb! We are adults and they just feel so middle school… like EEWW look what I got to match my trapper keeper (LMBAO). Just give me a regular smooth silver paperclips that actually CLIP what I need clipping. Along the lines of dumbness… I just don’t get the whole Keurig craze. Ok yeah I get it… you can make one cup of coffee or tea or hot chocolate, but I still think it’s dumb and I am mad there is a whole wall dedicated to k-cups at the Bed Bath and Beyond. A pack of gum or mints can be your best friend. Bad breath is just wrong on so many levels and people should take care not to be in that situation. And should you feel the need to get right up in my face, make sure your shit is right!! I mean DAMN!!!!

I know for sure… oh ok another Oprah-ism… What I know for sure is that everything that happened in my life has shaped me and molded me in ways that I am just now realizing the impact. It would have been nice to know at age 17 when I went to college what the hell I wanted to do, but I didn’t. Now I’m not saying my degree is worthless I have used it in many capacities. But I sometimes wish I knew I wanted to be a doctor specializing in rare diseases, or a 10th grade Art teacher, or you know just something specific. But I think my flailings have taught me a lot. One of the more important lessons Ive learned is I need to feel useful. It is when I start my downward decent when I feel like no one needs me or wants my opinion or knowledge which explains why I been err… ‘downsized’ a few times and/or chose to leave some other places. It just creates stress in my life to not be of valuable. And I know that’s not important to some. But I now know it is to me!

general random 073...

ok so it's been a minute and we all know I have some much to just LET OUT!! And don't feel bad if you can't keep up. It's OK it's all random.

so here goes...
If what you have on looks like something you would wear to the club, then it is probably not a good idea to wear to church. Now don't get me wrong the Lord wants you to come as you are. But I am still of the very old fashion mindset that you give the Lord your best! Not that tight outfit that you have to constantly pull down; and in the case of men, pants you gotta pull up.

I really don't have a problem with weaves per se, but if you gonna rock it ROCK IT!! And if you can't afford the upkeep then go get a wig or something. It was the same woman at church who had some bad weave in her hair AND some extensions in the baby (little girl had to be about 3 or 4) in like every other braid... it was just bad and I wanted to just say NO!!!

I am officially the last person to see Titanic. AND OMG WHAT A GOOD MOVIE!! I mean I heard all the comedians at the time it came out say yeah it's 3 hours long and you know the outcome, yadda yadda yadda. And I really never wanted to carve out 3 hours of my life to watch it. But for some recent restless night I started watching it and then my trusty DVR did the rest. It was on like TBS or TNT one of those stations. What is always so fascinating to me is that people have been having sex, and falling in love, and having their heart broken, FOREVER. Just cause she's a little old lady does not mean she didn't get her swerve on back in the day. There was this segment on the news where some random woman had passed away and the son was saying how all his mother did was take care of him and she didn't date or anything. And I thought THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!!! She might not have let you see it, and she very well may not have done anything, but I certainly think parents (especially mothers) have a way of making you think the only 1 time they ever had sex was when they had you. And if you have sibling then add that amount of times and that's it. I still cant figure out why the little old lady threw the necklace overboard though.

OH I also just saw Social Network, about the dude(s) who started Facebook. I was really feeling inadequate as a human being to know that this guy had this thought and created this THING that is now a global phenomenon. I mean I don't even know anyone who even goes on Myspace anymore and I never even heard of the other social network they were talking about. But I do know everyone and thing has a Facebook page AND a twitter page. I keep trying to understand the twitter, and I joined but I just can't figure it out so I just leave it alone. What it also makes me think is that we are just to reliant on the internet, and just too connected. My touch screen phone stopped allowing me to touch it and just froze one day so I had to go to the Verizon store (which was a bad customer service experience yet again) to get a new phone. The little dude with the swoopy hair tried to convince me to just get the phone online. Which not that I needed it right away, but then I would still have to come to the store again to transfer my numbers and I just did not feel like havin to do that. So I just bought the phone and am now STILL waiting for my 50 buck rebate. wait what was my point? OH YEAH my point is that I just wanted a phone to call and text and maybe take a picture. I don't need to check email, tweet, or even write my blog, I just wanted a phone to use as a PHONE!! I understand and can appreciate the convenience of all those extras, but I just don't want to be that plugged in. Everyone is going out to get an iPhone or iPad or a 4G phone and I think all this technology makes it that much harder for people to communicate in person. OH and if you are under... well I used to say 16, but now I'll say 13 or 14 because times, they are a changing; ok so if you are under 13 WHY does you little ass need a phone?!?! And then I see kids walking around texting each other and I want to say put those damn phones away and TALK to each other!!! That's my 2 cents on an already tense subject.

I abhor bad customer service ABHOR IT!! So today I am in Pier One. There are 3 cashiers standing there and the 1 helping the lady ahead of me goes to get something for the lady. So I say 'is this the only cash register open?' and the lady says 'oh I'm sorry she had to go get something for me.' So I say 'oh you're fine, don't worry about it'. Now the 1 cashier was taping up some big glass object but the other 1 was doing random shit behind the counter and they both look at me like I am clearly speaking a regional dialect of some crazy language. So the cashier finishes up and then proceeds to ignore me, so the dude cashier is like 'OH I can help you!' And then I say 'so I guess when I asked the question you didn't hear me?' and then he is like 'oohh uuhh uhhh' I'm like WHATEVER just ring it up. Now I know you're thinking I must have been getting something major to be this annoyed?!?! WELL it was!! I finally found a funnel small enough so I can fill up my flask and it was a whooping 50 cents (LMBAO) yeah I know. I KNOW!! So he rings up my purchase (which come to a whooping 53 cents) and then had the gall to ask if I wanted a bag; HELL YES I WANT A BAG!!! If I was a scrupless person I would stuck that thing in my pocket and kept it moving, but I have a conscience and going to jail for me has to be worth it; 53 cents aint worth it.

I gave blood on Saturday and am feeling some kinda way about looking up the lil dude who took my blood on Facebook. First of all I KNEW he was young, but he was 'nephew young' and I just can't go there, but he did smell good!! But what's bad is he looked like a guy I dated which probably why I thought he was cute and it's also a reason I kept looking at this other guy at church who is SO very married and that is so NOT my thing. I'm not sure what the moral of this story is : /

Stink bugs do stink and I am NOT looking forward to a season of those SOB's invading my house.

I'm really glad my cat decided to like the different version of Meow Mix that I recently bought her. She is now eating it like it is the most delicious thing in the world. I think after our talk... that is me telling her she needs to go ahead and like the damn food cause mommy can't afford no new food, she got the hint and got on board!

Someone needs to tell Oprah a few crest white strips are not a bad idea. Her teeth are looking a lil yellowy. When Winona Judd was on her show, her teeth were EXTRA white against her orange skin and bright fluorescent red hair. Speaking of which I need to go put my dose of strips on...

my life...

As a movie, a sitcom OR… wait for it a BOOK?!?!? For some reason a movie just seems to short. I sat through that whole Eat Pray Love fiasco with Julia Roberts, and as much as I like her and as much as I like the book, the movie was just BAD! I don’t think my life such that it is can be wrapped up into just an 1 ½ hours or 2 hours WITH the sex scenes LOL I mean you know not that there would be any sex scenes cause I guess I want my mother to read it… but hey she had to have sex to have me and here I go digressing… NO MOVIE

A sitcom would be good but I don’t want to be relegated to TBS with Tyler Perry or whatever station the Ice Cube show is on cause I NEVER know when it’s on. I would want it to be on one of the networks; hell I’d settle for Fox which isn’t that the station all the black shows used to be on?!!? No wait I’m thinking the now defunct UPN which combined with the now defunct WB to form the CW which isn’t that the station with all the vampire shows?? Let me google right quick… OK my computer is acting a lil funky with the streaming but they got Hellcats which I think is about cheerleading and college and then 90210 with the lil cutie from the Wire and that would be about it for the Black experience. This would be on the CW. And as much as I am racking my brain right now MOST of the shows I watch on the regular (ie DVR) have maybe 2 black folks on it. Even Shonda Rhimes (who by the way thanks to Wikipedia I now know we share the same birthday… she is a lil older than me but hey Capricorns are a creative type) creator extraordinaire of Grey’s Anatomy the main characters are not the black folks… they are the supporting people. And this is not really about black vs white, but then it kinda is. I miss Martin, and Different World, and Living Single where **gasp** the WHOLE cast was black. Even on Glee the lil guy they had dancing in the background is no longer there. I just got Mercedes who I really do think has a better voice than Rachel; but then Rachel has the ‘Broadway’ voice so that’s why I guess she keeps getting the praise she does. I mean was I the only one who thought her rendition of America the Beautiful was bad at the Superbowl?!! I mean unlike Christina AGulerra (LOL) she did at least get the words right.

I just got hella sidetracked on the article on Shonda Rhimes. She says she doesn’t write race… I however want a BLACK show for me about me dot dot dot… LOL

As for a book, well I always think I am going to start my great American novel any day now. And to be fair my little blog that could is a slight glimpse into what my book would be like… Comedy, drama… and a lil sex!!! I seem to be preoccupied with sex today SURELY not because I got some... but I am hopeful, wishful, prayerful (yes LBJ know I’m not a virgin) that it will enter my life again, and soon!! OH and on that note, I bartended last night for a wedding rehearsal and the only black friend they had was a cutie on duty; but he was ALSO the minister!!! All he drank was sprite!! He had all his wits about him so I couldn’t muscle my way to his room, wherever that may have been. OH and he was 25 which although I have no problem with the young ones, the fact that my oldest nephew is 22 just makes 25 seem soooooo freaking young. The wedding party kept talking about the semester they did this or that, and finally I was like DID you guys just graduate from college? And yep they did from Ole Miss which you would think would have an abundance of black folks at the school, but somehow the only managed to make 1 black friend LMBAO whew…

I have so much work experience that the sheer hilarity from each place I’ve been could sustain my show and my book. I almost feel like Scott Adams… who I just googled and got side tracked. Hey it really doesn’t take much!! But the basic premise of Dilbert is that Scott used to work as a technical something or other in a cubicle and that was the life he knew so he wrote about it… err comic stripped about it. For me it could start when I interned at that country radio station in Richmond and all the sales people who just happened to all be women would drop the F bomb like they were saying hello and I would sit there in the meetings thinking ‘They do know I’m in the room right???’ And then when the country stars would pass through they would have food and not want to share with the marketing people which was kinda what I was but since I was the lowly intern and they liked me, I always got first pickings. Maybe they thought I was a poor college student which I WAS!! Trying to get to Richmond in that little ass orange chevette that I loved!! Gas was about $1.25 back then : / ok now YOU know I just goggled that shit and it said the average was $1.07 ONE DOLLAR AND SEVEN FREAKING CENTS!!! My how times have changed.

So what I think I’m gonna do I start on my book, to be later developed into a sitcom which both of which will be semi autobiographical. I’m gonna take the good, take the bad, take them both and then I’ll have The facts (or some quasi-pseudo form) of MY life.

beer and other general randomness...

i bought some honey brown last week and I keep attempting to drink it... but alls it does it makes me pee. And sleep is really important to me so drinking beer after 8 means I will be up the WHOLE night. So now it will probably be in my frig until the summer when its hot and I need a cold beer.

Valentines day is coming up and while it is a great holiday to spend with someone I am sooooooooooooooo just looking forward to watching Love Jones and drinking some bubbly. And that will be GREAT for me!! Last year... aahhhh... lets just say I coulda had a v8! Its not sad that Im not dating its sad that I havent met anyone to date. WHERE DA HELL ARE ALL THE MEN!?!?!? I used to know... but they seem to be like the Lochness monster.

actually thats all the randomness I have today LOL

...i really like the GE dancing elephant commercial... that is all

WTF?!?! (why the face?)

...i totally forgot i wrote this one last week...

LOL from the Modern Family dad who was pretty clueless about what WTF truly stood for and right now I really don’t mean it in a malicious way, but sometimes dropping a good old fashion F bomb is good for the soul!!

Them Houswives of the ATL variety
For the past I don’t know how many weeks I just shake my head at the antics that those women. Mostly I’m like REALLY did she just say that/do that _______ insert whatever in the blank. So here is my run down for the finale.
Phaedra – What professional woman do you know that wears 3 different shades of polish on her fingernails? She had gold rimmed RED shoes… who wears that to an office? AND all the glittery eye shadow… COME ON REALLY?!?!? Other than that bith her husband and baby are beautiful. Although a little discrepancy in the whole age thing. If she was in law school and he was in high school.. then it’s more than a 4 yr age gap. BUT I aint mad at her for being the semi-cougar that she is!! LOL She does seem to have her head screwed on right even though she says some pretty WAAAAAY out there stuff.
Kim – What was wrong with her old boobs?? No Kim as a matter of fact you can not sing NOR are you a good performer, but hey whatever. Even when Kroy met her that first time, he doesn’t appear all that bright, but then neither does she, so I guess they are a match.
Sheree – It must be nice to have money to throw around so that one day you’re a fashion designer and the next you’re an actress. I thought a passion was something you put your ALL into not just something you do on a whim. I don’t think she is all that great of an actress.
Cynthia – As much as I feel all warm and fuzzy about Peter, he just didn’t seem like he was all that concerned about keeping Cynthia in the loop of what was going on financially. And I don’t think Cynthia is a dumb woman but I think she made some dumb decisions. Did her daughter have on lashes?? She is already a cute little girl, but the key words here are LITTLE GIRL. Maybe it was just me and what I had thought I saw. That dress was different. I guess I am more of a traditionalist with wanting a white or off white… hell even a champagne colored dress. But I liked it. AND why was Kim hating on her for not having flowers. It seemed like a great event.
NeNe – I just don’t like her, but she was really more of a regular person when she was dealing with her son and her husband. I just don’t get how she feel she can say anything she wants but if anyone says something to her she’s ready to beat them down. Oh and that 2 tone hair is the WORST!! And I know that Diane person is her friend, but Bravo must not like her to much cause they didn’t let her say much of anything.
Kandi – the onliest thing I have to say about her is that horrible comb over purple hair she rocked the WHOLE season. Kim has that wig dude (more on him later). Sheree has Lawrence(more on him later too). I need for Kandi’s stylist to step up. She seems like she has good business sense I’m glad she didn’t let the whole tardy for the party thing get to her too much.
The gays – I am as gay friendly as they come… well you know without actually being gay NOT THAT ANYTHING IS WRONG WITH THAT!! LOL But these ATL men who wear heals and make-up; whew I can’t take it. I actually do like Lawrence. He is a GREAT singer and performer and I really hope his song does well. I can never remember kim’s wig stylist dude’s name, but he is a man trapped in a man’s body. There aint a thing feminine about him EXCEPT the heels and purses. But he works it. And then there is Dwight… **loud sigh** I just need a little verb tense agreement once in a while cause he can kill a word!! I was a little indifferent to him this season. I didn’t like the way NeNe was all up in his face but he really tried to not knock her ghetto butt out!!
The extra random folks – Sweetie - she has to be a special kinda somebody to put up with the general tom foolery that she has to. What was funny is when they went on the weeklong tour kim’s kids seemed more upset that Sweetie was leaving. In general though she always looks hoochiefied with the short shorts and extra black makeup. I do wonder how old she is. Andy Cohen who is not actually on the show but his reunion shows and watch what happens shows are always so funny. It’s almost like he expects them to say something that they otherwise wouldn’t. Like I think he expected Phaedra to fess up to her pregnancy… LIE. She lied and she stuck to her lie. Or maybe he thought NeNe was going to apologize for how she acts just ingeneral. OHHHH and he always asks if Kim is gonna take off her wig. He’s just so cute and keeps a straight face when he asks his questions.
HGTV
Shit does not take a ½ hour or a day. Some projects take FOREVER and then you are in pain when you’re done. For some reason I always think I can just bust out a project in a day, by myself, without all the proper tools. I don’t know why, but something in me says HELL YEAH I CAN DO IT!! My most recent project was tiling my little powder room floor. I had the tile, thin set and grout, went to Lowes on 2 separate occasions and had a wet tile saw, and the bucket-o-stuff (like nipper and spacers) to help me finish. Now what I had not factored in was taking up the actual vinyl floor. I wish I knew the dimensions but trust me it’s small. I had started drinking my red wine and though I would take maybe MAYBE an hour. So 3 hours later I was still not done. My cat kept peaking in like ‘Hey what you doing in there?’ The next day the goal was to start laying the tile at 1 in the afternoon. But I don’t think I got out the bed until 11 and 1 came and went and I am still on the floor trying to take up this damn vinyl. At one point I went to get my iron to help melt whatever glue so it would come up easier. So long story short made even longer (LOL) all day Saturday and then it was finally done… well the taking up of the vinyl NOT the actual tile laying. So thank LBJ for a snow day so I was able to actually lay the tile. The onliest thing left is I still need a new toilet so I really only tiled about 93% of the bathroom. Yeah that’s a pretty big thing to need in a bathroom.

SNOW DAY!!

well kinda sorta not really.. but why does it feel like when it snows and people don't come to work (or "work from home") it feel like a snow day in the office. Like you don't really feel like doing much of anything even though the load of ALL that you have to do has not lessened... but it's a snow day, right?!? I have been off task since I heard folks weren't coming in. And even in this nice serene setting where I could actually get some stuff done I am lolly gagging...

What I am doing is catching up on some new music. Fusicology is this site that has alot of information of things going on in many areas specifically DMV... mostly DC. For some reason I have been turning the radio on more and more in the car and I sit there and wonder why the heck I did it cause nothing is ever on. And that Trey Songz song... something about some good good love... it is so dumb. the video that I can never seem to sit all the way through is even dumber. Don't get me wrong Trey could get it with his cute little self... but I digress. The music is just so bad on the radio and I feel like I have to get back to my R&B-neo soul-house roots. There is just some really good music out there from people who just don't get the regular rotation on regular radio. So I have to go online. I am still a faithful listener to Handzonradio.fm where all 'my' house DJ's play. But then I also listen to Cyber Jamz and have no good idea what happened to Neo Soul Cafe. That site got me in lots of trouble with the purchas of a lot of good stuff like Sy Smith... Chokolate... DJ Spinna... HEAVy... just so much stuff!! So there is good music out there from people who can sing and write song with substance (not just about the dumb shit Jamie Foxx keeps writing about... I am so disappointed in him... I guess I expected to much from him). I went to see Ledisi this past Sunday. She has always been a great performer. It was hilarious to me that she got a nod from the Grammy's as a new artist even though she already had several independent albums or I guess cd's under her belt.

ok.. i guess I better go do some work now : /