henry thoreau misquote and other shenanigans...

If this woman say just ONE MO GIN how she doesn’t understand what I don’t understand I am going to pull every tacky dyed red hair out of her tacky head!!  We both can’t be clueless and you’re the team leas and you LOVE to make sure everyone know you know so much so yeah I’ma need for you to work that out.

I know the little loud woman can talk low so why can’t she just do that ALL the time?!  I need to not hear here when I’m trying to think.  Or when I’m on the phone. 

Sometimes I be stalking so hard I forget why I went on their FB page in the first place.  What was dudes name with the red shirt who did the knee massage?!?!  I am checking every Kappa’s page LOL

I was in line behind someone at the dollar store a few weeks ago and they got a decal that said “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams”.  Actually the lady before me at one job had that very decal on the wall and I looked at it for a year cause she left it on the wall in the office I took over.   So why out of the blue it just freaking hit me!!!  I AM NOT GOING IN THE DIRECTION OF MY DREAMS!!  Was it yesterday a question was posed if you had no fear what would you do?  Without much thought I said (well to myself) quit my job and move to the Bahamas!   The big PowerBall for almost $600million was up for grabs on last Saturday.  It got reset back to $40million. I would totally be happy with whatever annuitized amount I would get from that.  Top of the list would be get my brother’s house completely finished, move my sister someplace new altogether.  Make sure my mom was good and settled.  And then pay off all the debts for the nephews and set up funds for all the other nieces and nephew AND THEN for me move somewhere where I don’t have neighbors ghetto fabulous or otherwise… and this just turned into a money thing and a lottery thing which neither are part of my dreams per se, but it would be nice to win… I’m just saying.  When I was little and I watched my grandmothers and my mother and my aunt run things at church I decided that that was what I wanted to do, be a boss!! And that’s what I said ‘when I grow up I want to be the boss’  Not like these silly ass rappers and 12 year olds who say they are a BOSS, but I wanted to run things.  They were in control and I wanted to be in control.  Fast Forward to the Ally McBeal years, YES the TV show.  So the premise was a law firm where everyone was young and hip and the length of a suit for all the women was just under the crack of their ass.  One of the characters who started the firm was Richard Fish, he was going through some legal troubles of his own and the culture of the firm was changing.  He said he wanted to start a law firm to have fun and make money!  That is so not the culture of most places.  Where I am now, the people seem so miserable.  Hell they won’t even speak in the halls.   And I am watching a fellow bartender just do the damn thing as he is growing his business.  I have 2 friends that are picking up and just moving!  One to another country WELL ACTUALLY 2 are moving out of country… And the other to another state.  I have nothing NOT A THING holding me in Baltimore but yet I stay.  Back to Ally McBeal, another character was the secretary and she would come up with these off the wall inventions like a face bra!  When Ally questioned her, she said she would rather be known for her off the wall inventions than a tired secretary that never accomplished anything.  I am in self -reflection mode!  I am 39 and I have said a few times that 40 is when stuff was supposed to happen or have already happened.  I now I have to edit that because I know (well I hope… pray) that I won’t kill over and drop dead on January 14, 2014 and I can do things once I turn 40.  I mean I’m a homeowner, some people can’t say that at any point in their lives.  I’m a college graduate.  And I have a cat!! AND A BLOG that my faithful 5-10 people read!!

It is almost 5:30 and I am still sitting at work because I needed to get all (well not all but a lot) of my thoughts out AND because I really didn’t want to go to yoga even though I really needed to but now it’s too late.  I want to hit up a likka sto, get some Golly Wobbler (summertime in a bottle baby!!) get some hotdogs and throw them on the grill. 

tats pain family hair WWF!!

Why did I feel silently judged last night... SO I'm in the beauty supply store getting my weekly ration of shit I may never use again and the cashier says, if you use credit or debit it might take a minute.  Well I had just left kickboxing (more on that in a minute) and I said, I'm not in any rush and then I say OH Let me see you tat! It was on his forearm and to me it looked like a lover's lane scene at the ocean.  So he goes on to explain it is a symbol for a RADICAL lifestyle.  He said he used to be very radical and reckless, but now as he's gotten older, not so much.  And I'm standing there like ooohhh OK!?  I'm not real sure what he meant by that.  Was he a radical skateboarder?  Radical for Christ?! Radical gay activist?  I just don't know.  He then goes on to say that the tattoo is more of a memory of his past and that it has meaning, and that he hates when people get tats of random stuff that don't have meaning.  I do an awkward giggle and say well sometimes people put them in areas that are not so visible so it's ok.  He say well but they should mean something!  Now as a 39 year old woman I felt some kinda way about his assessment of tattoos. At 19 even though I thought I was grown, the tat I got was because I had a car, other people were getting one, and WHY THE HELL NOT!??  It's a strawberry on my left boob, that upon a quick inspection is fading.  To this day some people when they see it they say I didn't know you had a tatoo!!  Or you don't look like the tattoo type!  Well no I'm not inked from head to toe and truth be told IT HURT so I have one and only one tattoo on my body.  Most of the people I know even if they are small have more than 1.  I had several co-workers who had very whimsical tats, or a manager that had big red lips on the side of her neck (scroll back about a year or so I blogged about it LOL).   But my tat is personal and has meaning because that's what I wanted to do.  My uncle thought I belonged to some secret sorority.  My dad almost passed out when he saw it.  My grandmothers were both very cool about the whole situation.  And my mom thought it was hilarious.  At 19 I made a decision, maybe it was quick and reckless, but I've never had a regret. YOLO!! 

Last night I decided to give kickboxing another try.  I have been hitting the group-ons and Living Social's real hard so a class for 10, 20 or 30 kickboxing classed were made available.   Initially I said to myself, well, I'll do 10.  But experience has taught me that sometimes less is not more. I got 20 and was pumped!!  The first class the little dude that taught it clearly has been a student but not a teacher.  His class was horrible and unbalanced and I do yoga now so it's all about balance.  Last night I decide to give it another shot and PRAY that is it's a different teacher.  It is!!  Yay.  This guy reminds me of Rex, of Rex Kwan-do in Napolean Dynamite, with  the parachute pants one side is stars, the other stripes. OK so this guy does not have on this outfit, but something just reminds me of him.  He is just too pumped for this class.  So we start off with running 8 laps around the room.   UUUHHH EXCUSE ME TEACHER... but me and the girls don't run!! so I do a lil trot until I stop to walk.  We do some other warm ups and then we start punching the bag.  Jab, jab, punch... After a few of those he yells something... still not even real sure what he said but when he yells lets just say DOWN!  everyone drops and does a burpee.  I look around like OH HELL NO!!  He spots me looking like a deer in headlights and says YOU CAN DO IT!! So jab, jab, punch DOWN so I jump down and try so very hard to keep up.  And then I get a freaking cramp in my left arm.. EXCUSE ME TEACHER BUT I HAVE A CRAMP ...can I just sit down somewhere!?!?  PLEASE!!! after a few more he stops.  At the end we are supposed to do a frog (jump up and land) to the mirror and scissor crunches.  At this point I have had it.  I had a partner and I announce to her in a whisper uuuuhhh partner, I am NOT doing that!!  Thankfully she was like well just do regular crunches and lunges to the front OH yeah I can do that!!  The class was much better but kickboxing is just NOT for me!!  I am in PAIN and have just popped 3 ibuprofens.  My legs, my back, my arms, hell even my toes  HURT!  This morning I parked on the 2nd level in the garage and had to walk down the steps.  As I hit the 2nd step I was like OH LORD BABY JESUS IN HEAVEN!!  and then did a little whimper which I know probably scared the pregnant lady behind me.  I wanted so badly to explain the I took a kickboxing class and that I was in pain.  I took the elevator to 2, something I rarely do these days.  OH and the name of the routine was the widow maker!!  DA HELL?!?!  So I'll take the hot yoga and sweating profusely, and dancing to Spanish lyrics ANY day!!

I'm rocking a little fro right now.  My hair has no shape and I know as soon as I cut it I'm gonna be like DAMN WHY DID I CUT MY HAIR!?!?!  So I'm going to get it braided soon.  I got some flexirods last night and  I like the results!   Initially it looked like a curly perm from hell, but something about a nice little head band to pull it together.

This weekend was Mother's day and it was very bittersweet.  First off, I am so very happy that my mother is still alive and has been in my life this long.  Some people lose their mom's early in life and it always makes me sad.  Both of my dearly departed grandmothers lost their mom's when they were kids and they had to do alot of self raising.  Back when I was a kid the whole family (it was whole lot of us) would do Sunday brunch for mother's day.  It was me and my immediate family which was 4 or 5 depending on where the brother was, my grandparents, my cousins AND their grandparents, aunts and uncles and it maybe was close to 25 people when all was said and done.  Now, it take so much effort just to get us all in the same place.  We have family reunions every even year since 78 (i think) Memorial Day weekend but inevitably folks will act like it's they can't find the money to attend, but then they go to the Bahamas or where ever it is they go.  It has felt like the family has been slipping away for some time.  Everyone has their own family and they do their own thing.  And it's just kinda sad.  I didn't even see my aunt and cousin who came in from Florida.  And everyone has an excuse and I almost want to be like you can't take a weekend every few years and just be together?!  Maybe not mothers day weekend but any random weekend?  I keep saying I'm going to have a cookout at my house for everyone to come in..maybe I will!!??

I'm doing a lil happy dance now cause I just got 45 points in Words with Friends!!  This particular friend I'm playing has been kicking my butt!!  And I feel like I keep setting him up for the triple word and any other tile that has good value. SUCK IT DJ2!!!  LOL

I really need for it to NOT rain today.  I finally got some gas and I am going to cut my jungle yard. 

apple meeting jungle yard...

I don’t think I have been in a funnier meeting in a good while.  First off let me say that I get invited to these meetings and I usually sit there with NO CLUE as to what is going on.  I’m a pretty low chick on the totem pole so even when I do speak it’s as if no one did.  So meeting is at 1 but why bother coming on time because the essential people are going to get there late.  This one dude who I have seen around but never really had any interaction with who reminds me of Tobias Funke from Arrested Development comes in late, loud, AND with an with an apple.  We are on a conference call with people from the Denver office and Texas.  He proceeds to chomp on his apple like he’s at his desk.  I got so tickled and tried to suppress my laughter because I was sitting there like ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!  Is this fool really chomping on his apple like it is his only meal of the day??  So we go through the meeting and everyone is so stressed except me because I know this aint rocket science but no one clued the rest of these folks in.

I really need a mini Febreeze air freshner because the bathroom is so stinky sometimes!

My yard is looking very jungle like and I keep not calling the few people that I have to call for reasons that I do not know.  And it’s about to rain so it is going to turn into a rain forest sooner than later and this vexes me.  I don’t want to mow my lawn but I also don’t wanna pay anyone to do it I just want it to miraculously get done.  OOOHHH ok so last Saturday well Saturday before last as I was making my way to the good White Marsh to get the compost bin my neighbor who lives 3 houses down on the other side of the street comes running up to me like hey miss… HEY MISS! And I’m like oh hey, good morning.  So he proceeds to introduce himself to me and that he cuts grass.  SO I give him the side eye and say I’ve been here since 2005 why are you just now introducing yourself to me?  And he says oh yeah I know.  And this instantly pisses me off!!  SO you have seen me struggling to mow this damn lawn and edge it up and just keep it together for 8 year and you JUST NOW want my business!?!?  But I keep my cool (I guess) and ask him how much he will charge me to cut the renegade tree in the back.  He says REAL CHEAP and unless you say $50 or $500 real cheap doesn’t mean anything.  SO now I have to go knock on his door when I want him to use his services O_o yeah ok dude get the hell off my jungle grass!!

Hey lady I just saw you NOT wash your hands… oh you are on my list now!!!