This has been an interesting 2 weeks and on the cusp of my cycle
my emotionality didn't help So where shall we start!?!?
I wrote this last Friday...
Yesterday was absolutely blog
worthy! So Wed I went out and 'drove' for about an hour and got NOTHING.
So I wasted both my time and gas. Then I get a ping from Lyft that
said complete 8 rides between 6-10 on Thursday and Friday and you get a bonus.
BET!! I'm all about the bonuses. I set my clock and get my
arse up. 1st ride she was just going to work and she was only a few minutes
late (not my fault... just FYI). 2nd ride... We only have to give to
person 5 minutes to come out and get in the car and then we can cancel. After 2
minutes the app nudges you to call the person. The rider girl calls me
and says she'll be down in 2 minutes. OK no problem. 3 minutes pass
and she calls back and says I'm so sorry I'm coming down the stairs, my son has
autism. What you won't do is blame the baby. Well I can't freaking leave
now because the child has to get to his child care place. She steps out of the
house platinum blond with THE EYELASHES! Oh you know the ones where it
looks like 2 caterpillars crawled on their face to live out their lives!!
The little boy gets in and is playing Dory on his lil ipad. But I
already know he has special needs so when it plays the same line 20 times in a
row I just take it because, right now this aint about me and this comforts him.
We then need to stop at the 7/11 for her to get cream for her coffee and
she leaves the lil boy in the car with me. I guess I look like a nice
person. I mean I AM... but I'm not sure if I would have done that with a
complete stranger. She comes out finally gives him his green soda which
is what he asked for. I need to pause right here... SO there are 2 dudes
panhandling in front of the 7/11 even with the no loitering signs hanging right
there. I turned off my headlights because like I just said, I'm a nice
person so I'm trying to not blind the man. the one guy passes the other
guy the blunt and he proceeds to smoke, right there... YES RIGHT THERE!!!
IN FRONT OF THE 7/11 AND MORE IMPORTANTLY IN FRONT OF ME!!! So like when
did it become ok to just smoke weed all out in the open?!?! In the not to
distant past people tried to be discreet about their smokation. Now it's
like a regular cigarette. I mean i guess it's ok?!? It's legal for
the most part, right?? I just kinda don't want to see it. Back to
rider 2... We get to his child car place and WHY does the baby have on flip
flops on this rainy day? Now as I'm thinking about it now kids can just
be kids and that may have been what he wanted to wear. I now have to go
to the bathroom so in my head I'm like let me get this chick to her job and I
can run to a fast food place. We started at MLK and Franklin, now we are
on Liberty Heights, and her job is WAAAAAAAY out in Owings Mills!! I'm
driving and the onliest thing on my mind is I HAVE TO PEE!! We get on 695 the
795... I still really REALLY have to pee. OMG can I make it?!?! Yes girl
you can (this is my internal dialog because it is getting SERIOUS!!). I make
the turn onto Red Run and she asks me if I could stop at the Royal Farm which is
past her job. I inhale... think for a second if I should hop out with
her. Wait do they even have a public bathroom here cause if I get out and
they say no, I am going to have a PROBLEM!! Finally drop her off!! And
the only reason I didn't follow her into her job is the whole badge thing.
So i'm fussing at myself WELL SHIT I shoulda went to the RoFo!! Can I
make it to the Wendy's?!?! Is Wendy's Even open?!?! Maybe I can go
to my cousin's house? Aww hell no!! I only have 1 of 2 keys needed and
they might not be home. THE HOTELS!! Yes I can stop at the Hampton
Inn and LORD PLEASE don't let it be a 'you need a key' situation because i
don't feel like arguing with the front desk peoples!!! I stop right at
the front like I'm checking in and park. There is no time to be finding a
parking space!! No one was at the front desk THANK YOU LBJ!! Head
to the ladies room that did NOT require a key and WHEW!!!! Left feeling like a
million bucks!! As I'm leaving, still no one at the front desk I say to
myself CHICK fix you a cuppa coffee because #free!! I stopped short of
taking the lil bags they have with the breakfast in them for folks in a rush.
Coffee is GOOD!!! ok where to next. Actually she took up so much
time and energy I forget rides #3 and #4. At one point I come home, cook,
eat, take a nap and then go back out. One spot that has been working
really well is the bus station which is right next to the Horse Shoe Casino.
I pick up a young lady from the casino and she lives 5 minutes away in
south Baltimore. OK so **big ass disclaimer** (LOL) I have been in
Baltimore for over 20 years. I have made a nice life for myself even
though I will never claim to be from Baltimore, I still love
this city! Clearly I do. I have been complaining about driving in East
Baltimore for the sheer fact that it's EAST and away from my house. I can
get found over East. the streets mirror the West. So if I'm on East
Lombard, I can figure out how to get to West Lombard. BUT BABAY!!! When I
tell you I got myself GOOT and lost in South Baltimore!!! Believe it!!
So what I should have done is followed my tracks to dropping off the
casino chick and I would have been fine. But NO I knew there was a Long
John Silver(man) near and I wanted some fish. But then I couldn't figure
out how to get back on the beltway. For whatever reason there are several union
buildings... like Electricians union and Boilermaker union and i think painters
union in that area. I was in one of their parking lots, ate and decided
to make a right and then a I made a left drove a little nooo wait i think the
beltway is the other way so let me try that way. Well I get pinged for a
ride. OK well maybe this person will get me out of this area. NOPE
she just went to the Brooklyn area which is STILL SOUTH Baltimore and then said
this is the place you see on the news. UMM not helpful ma'am!! I
get back on Pataspco and then make a right JESUS!!! the beltway in under me HOW
do I get there!?!?! This is like in Pittsburgh when you take the wrong
exit and end up on the Westside, OR Southside OR God forbid the NORTH SIDE
(nothings wrong with the northside so CALM down Pittsburghers!!) See this
is the OPPOSITE for me in Pittsburgh, I'm from the East Side... Homewood, Point
Breeze, Penn Hills so getting stuck ANYWHERE else makes me fret. I now see the
TOLL ONLY/CASH ONLY exit for 895 and I honestly have never taken this road so I
have no idea where I will end up, also I don't have a toll thingy nor do I have
cash so I'm SOL. WHERE IS 695, or 95 OR 295??!?!? Finally I'm driving and
I see a sign the says SOUTH about the size of my phone so of course I pass it.
I do some ridiculous U turn and get on the SOUTH not really sure where it
is going to take me. It turns out to be SOUTH 295 away from city but I'm
tired, and you know I have to pee again so I just stay on it and take my booty
HOME!! This also reminded me of the movie Quick Change with Bill Murray, Randy
Quaid, and Gina Davis. They rob a bank and basically try to get out of
the city and just get lost. The construction dudes were taking down the
signs and there were other construction dudes to put up signs the next day.
This was ME!! I am still traumatized!!!
I feel like Carrie and Craig in
no particular order... Carrie got broke up with via a post it and Craig got
fired on his day off. ME oh I just get let go via text LOL It's funny
now... but not really cause my hustle game is tight and I need to work ALL of my
other 50eleven jobs. But you know me.. when life hands me lemons, I go on
vacation!!! So I'm off to Cuba because I can!! I'm sure I will have many
adventures there!
I don't want to put my sister
on complete blast (even though I kinda am LOL) but you remember stalker dude
who is the reason why I stopped going to the Weis market for a good while...
well ummm let's just say she met him too... and uuhh... it ended quickly for
her as well because dude is a total jerk. And yeah it's a small world after
all!!! LOL
