WTF?!?! NO SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FARFIGNEWTON IS GOING ON HERE??? so I know I will not be able to make it through this whole show. But lets do a quick recap shall we?!?
Chris Brown - YES he can dance and for the most part lip sync pretty well. But I totally missed the Wu-Tang and Nirvana references
The chick in the chair with the broke leg - ok so I did a google search and that's Jessie J who I have no good bad or indifferent idea who that is. What I do know is she is butchering pretty much EVERY song she 'sings'
Lady er Mr Gaga DA HELL was that - so I want no I NEED whatever drug that chick is on because it is clearly very good!! So she is doing the intro or whatever for Britney Spears. Who HOLE UP did I see a tear?!? Ok so they mashed up a few of Britney's top song to one horrible techno beat. I mean I would be insulted if they did that to my music but she seemed thrilled. And then she says thank you which she is getting the Freaking Michael Jackson video Vanguard award which is an HONOR... she has had some amazing videos over the years. but did the MTV people think she was incapable of writing a speech?? I mean they CLEARLY think she is an idiot. The Mr Gaga is standing there looking at her lustfully which was very weird... so then she starts talking about Beyonce who apparently is the next act... UMM EXCUSE ME.. this is my moment let someone else bring Beyonce on!!! This was a total thunder stealing moment. I'm just saying
So now Beyonce who has PANTS on.. this chick never wears pants. Oh but I guess wearing a unitard is now inappropriate for the mom to be. SO Jay-Z in the audience with Kanye giving him dap (I'm telling my age)like yep I hit that!! I mean we all know they are married but do you think they actually DO IT?!?! Yes people this is what I sit around and think about!!!
Cloris Leachman - a booty call from PaulyD!!!! bwaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa She is so hilarious.
OKAY so on commercial break i attempted to watch Basketball wives LA. WHO ARE THESE WOMEN?!?! Who has time to be that dramatic all the fucking time. The only person who I know of is Ron Artest and that's cause his ass is crazy. But his wife err 'partner' seems tooooo funny. At least for this show there are more wives, but so they put the chick who dates players on the show for added drama which the 'wives' seem to have enough of all on their own. I guess the formula works and I guess someone is getting paid.
Kim K - ok I'm going out of order - but is it me or does her (along with her sisters AND mama) voice make you wanna slit your wrists?!?!? I CAN'T STAND IT!!
Taylor Lautner - If i was 14 I would have a crush on him : / OK so what... I'm 37 and I FREAKING LOVE TAYLOR LAUTNER!!! HE is so yummy!! LAWD is he legal??? LOL
Katy Perry - um all purple from the hair to the shoes... uuuuhhh OK.. a lil later in the show... HOLE UP she has a piece of cheese on her head... its a lil extra but hey it's MTV
Adele - it is soooo hard to believe this little girl is 21!! She writes most of her songs and I just don't remember having lived THAT much at 19 and then 21 to have written so much thought provoking music. She is so talented!!
Bruno Mars - he's doing a tribute to Amy Winehouse another talent gone way toooo soon. Ok so I really want to like Bruno I really do... but hell I do I mean his voice is nice. He is on the verge of being a cutie and his teeth are annoyingly straight. They just flashed the camera in the audience of Shaun White... he has hoodies at Target FYI along with DENIM!
SHUT THE FRONT DOOR is lil wayne with his lil ugly tatted up ass closing the show?!?!? I mean there are those who look sexy with tats BUT HE AINT ONE OF EM!!! The Rock comes to mind first. hmmm... OK so this is my perverted thought about lil wayne.... I'm thinking it's ALL LITTLE. he does not look like he is working with much. I mean his money is big and I guess that is enough.
SOOOOOooooo this award show did not have a host? It's a hostless show? IT was good I guess. I am just a little removed from who the heck some of these people are. Like the little boy who won something and then came onstage with his WHOLE crew dropped about fifty F bombs and then said HEY KIDS you can do this shit too!! classic.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
sangria random...
so you know basically when I have a little vino of ANY kind my thought process goes into freakin OVERDRIVE. So bear with me friends...
where do you find a size 3x shirt with tinker bell on it? AND why would you think over 50 is an appropriate age and size (note I said 3X) to be wearing this shit? So you got up this morning.. no wait you found this shirt whenever you found it and though HEY I'M 55 AND I NEED A DAMN TINKERBELL SHIRT!!!!
why am I so freaking addicted to American Ninja Warrior?!?!? It is a bunch of crazy ass white dudes doing a bunch of crazy ass stunts so they can get a deal with K-Swiss. It is normally on G4 which is i guess an NBC affiliate because it has been on this station too... IT's like the fitness person's Wipeout. Which AGAIN is crazy ass folk (not just white dudes in this case) doing crazy ass things to get like 50k. WHEW its soooo funny. When theses people fall in the water LAWD it's funny. I don't even really need the hookie commentary is needed but that shit is funny too!!
I know I am a cornball. This is something I relish in. I know I deal with people on a level few can deal. I am my mama's child. This woman (my mother that is) would be talking to folks like they were her best friends. I used to get so embarrased as yutz (now I could go into a whole joe pesci thing with the yutz because My Cousin Vinny has be in heavy rotaiton on like USA or TNT one of them stations and for some reason the other day OH I REMEMBER WHY... someons's name was goetz and I was like whatever Leo wants Leos Gets... from onw of them LEtha Weapons) but now I am the one who talks to folks like they are my besties. I just have a connection. SO it ANNOYS me to no end when my silly ass co-workers are bothered by the needs of the folks that call when in essence that is their job!!!
COMMERICIALS... The Target with the Music teacher dude singing the list. DENIM...graphic tees leggins AND TUNICS.. more denim back packs headphones HAIR GEL... denim converse one star shoes... DENIM shaun white hoodies AND DENIM!!!! I have already made the disclaimer that I am a cornball so you know... I am okay with knowing this commericial inside and out because if your kids want to sound COOL they do indeed need to LOOK COOL!!! And then the teacher who has the hamsters CLARK!!! What the hell is Clark doing to get reprimanded?? I mean he's a hamster. But for this list (which I do not know by heart) but I do know Tape that sticks.... and Glitter... SO MUCH GLITTER!!!
Basketball Wives... I am slightly ashamed that I DVR'd the episode where the dude threw the drink in Jen's face. CLASSIC FUNNY SHIT!!! It just is hilarious to me that women that old, bicker, argue and FIGHT with each other. I am so above the drama that when anyone tries to throw it my way and bob and weave... OH AND SPEAKING OF WEAVE. there are too many naked horses. And it wouldn't even be so bad if they weren't blatant weaves. I mean go ahead make ya hair a lil longer BUT DAMN in for real life it wouldn't never had got that long. I mean in for real for real life!! And really you asked... or rather LET Al Reynolds hook you up?!? I was like that dude is just as pretty as Al so (stealing the words of Ed Lover) COME ON SON!!! COME ON... Pure Hilarity. So 'they' don't like Royce who I don't even know why she is on the show... but then again NO ONE is a wife so the show should prolly be called Basketball used to be Wives and General Hanger On'ers. Oh and she is so pressed for fame that she might be doing a porn cause really what else would Eric 'permanent knot on my head' aka ugly ass (yes I know it's mean but SO VERY True) Williams be "producing". I'm just saying. That don't smell legit to me... if it walk like a duck it prolly is a duck (bka PORN) And Suzie... yes chick you do talk to much. Meeka ummm yeah I don't even know what to say about you but when Evelyn said YA SHIT IS BOOTLEG DEN... I liked to die laughing. It was funny watching John Sally LOL at all the shenanigans on the reunion shows.
I'ma need for there to be food truck and more unique eats in the Delmarva area. I can't think about going to Toronto or British Columbia to find some good food. In fact... I want to put together an Epicurean Tour of some of the places I have seen on Food TV and Cooking V. I be watching and I INSTANTLY get hungry. I must go to Jimmy Buff's in New Jersey... then there is this Pork food truck somewhere I gotta go google it and yet another pork place in NYC... and then there is this dessert shop in NYC. AND oh yeah I need to drop 50 pounds before I even think any further about this 'trip'. I think I could sell this. Like the Kramer Experience... because after all doesn't everything relate back to Seinfeld?!!? (or Steinfeld as my mother says) LOL
One other thing I have learned from Unsung (the show in TV One showcases groups that coulda been bigger stars but kinda weren't) Don't sign away your rights!! The most recent one was The Sylvers. Now I was born in the 70's but really I am an 80's and 90's kid. My older sibling were more 70's kids which is why I knew who the heck they are. And my dad in all his technologicalness had the movie camera of us doing the HOTLINE!!! We even had a mic which I think may have gone to like the stereo or something... or maybe nothing?!? But anyways. The manager they had was getting 50%. When I heard this I was like WHAT?!?!? HOLE UP... rewind DVR... no YEP them fools said 50%. And the One with Mary Wells... the settlement she signed, signed away her royalty rights. Now I have some definite thoughts on the whole Motown machine but really?!?!? Did she just not have lawyers on her side?
I am ready to go out and buy a Rav4. LL Cool J is the spokes... err dog and is that not the coolest thing?!?!?
if you call me at 11:37 at night I'ma need for that to be a booty call!! Not my cousin checking to see if I was ok from the earthquake WHICH by the way I didn't even realize WAS an earthquake until my co-worker had told me. What had happened is I needed some jelly beans which you can't really get in August even at Easter time I had a hard time tryna find the Sunkist ones I like. And you really can only get the Jelly Belly jelly beans if you are like at the airport paying something crazy like $5.99 a pound soooooo if I want jelly beans I gotta get mike and ikes which essentially are jelly beans... so I'm at the dollar store messing around cause who wants to rush back to work. They workers were stalking the shelves and alla sudden I hear and feel a rumble and I though hmmm someone musta knocked the cart over LOL
ok it is 9:16 and I am ret to go to bed
where do you find a size 3x shirt with tinker bell on it? AND why would you think over 50 is an appropriate age and size (note I said 3X) to be wearing this shit? So you got up this morning.. no wait you found this shirt whenever you found it and though HEY I'M 55 AND I NEED A DAMN TINKERBELL SHIRT!!!!
why am I so freaking addicted to American Ninja Warrior?!?!? It is a bunch of crazy ass white dudes doing a bunch of crazy ass stunts so they can get a deal with K-Swiss. It is normally on G4 which is i guess an NBC affiliate because it has been on this station too... IT's like the fitness person's Wipeout. Which AGAIN is crazy ass folk (not just white dudes in this case) doing crazy ass things to get like 50k. WHEW its soooo funny. When theses people fall in the water LAWD it's funny. I don't even really need the hookie commentary is needed but that shit is funny too!!
I know I am a cornball. This is something I relish in. I know I deal with people on a level few can deal. I am my mama's child. This woman (my mother that is) would be talking to folks like they were her best friends. I used to get so embarrased as yutz (now I could go into a whole joe pesci thing with the yutz because My Cousin Vinny has be in heavy rotaiton on like USA or TNT one of them stations and for some reason the other day OH I REMEMBER WHY... someons's name was goetz and I was like whatever Leo wants Leos Gets... from onw of them LEtha Weapons) but now I am the one who talks to folks like they are my besties. I just have a connection. SO it ANNOYS me to no end when my silly ass co-workers are bothered by the needs of the folks that call when in essence that is their job!!!
COMMERICIALS... The Target with the Music teacher dude singing the list. DENIM...graphic tees leggins AND TUNICS.. more denim back packs headphones HAIR GEL... denim converse one star shoes... DENIM shaun white hoodies AND DENIM!!!! I have already made the disclaimer that I am a cornball so you know... I am okay with knowing this commericial inside and out because if your kids want to sound COOL they do indeed need to LOOK COOL!!! And then the teacher who has the hamsters CLARK!!! What the hell is Clark doing to get reprimanded?? I mean he's a hamster. But for this list (which I do not know by heart) but I do know Tape that sticks.... and Glitter... SO MUCH GLITTER!!!
Basketball Wives... I am slightly ashamed that I DVR'd the episode where the dude threw the drink in Jen's face. CLASSIC FUNNY SHIT!!! It just is hilarious to me that women that old, bicker, argue and FIGHT with each other. I am so above the drama that when anyone tries to throw it my way and bob and weave... OH AND SPEAKING OF WEAVE. there are too many naked horses. And it wouldn't even be so bad if they weren't blatant weaves. I mean go ahead make ya hair a lil longer BUT DAMN in for real life it wouldn't never had got that long. I mean in for real for real life!! And really you asked... or rather LET Al Reynolds hook you up?!? I was like that dude is just as pretty as Al so (stealing the words of Ed Lover) COME ON SON!!! COME ON... Pure Hilarity. So 'they' don't like Royce who I don't even know why she is on the show... but then again NO ONE is a wife so the show should prolly be called Basketball used to be Wives and General Hanger On'ers. Oh and she is so pressed for fame that she might be doing a porn cause really what else would Eric 'permanent knot on my head' aka ugly ass (yes I know it's mean but SO VERY True) Williams be "producing". I'm just saying. That don't smell legit to me... if it walk like a duck it prolly is a duck (bka PORN) And Suzie... yes chick you do talk to much. Meeka ummm yeah I don't even know what to say about you but when Evelyn said YA SHIT IS BOOTLEG DEN... I liked to die laughing. It was funny watching John Sally LOL at all the shenanigans on the reunion shows.
I'ma need for there to be food truck and more unique eats in the Delmarva area. I can't think about going to Toronto or British Columbia to find some good food. In fact... I want to put together an Epicurean Tour of some of the places I have seen on Food TV and Cooking V. I be watching and I INSTANTLY get hungry. I must go to Jimmy Buff's in New Jersey... then there is this Pork food truck somewhere I gotta go google it and yet another pork place in NYC... and then there is this dessert shop in NYC. AND oh yeah I need to drop 50 pounds before I even think any further about this 'trip'. I think I could sell this. Like the Kramer Experience... because after all doesn't everything relate back to Seinfeld?!!? (or Steinfeld as my mother says) LOL
One other thing I have learned from Unsung (the show in TV One showcases groups that coulda been bigger stars but kinda weren't) Don't sign away your rights!! The most recent one was The Sylvers. Now I was born in the 70's but really I am an 80's and 90's kid. My older sibling were more 70's kids which is why I knew who the heck they are. And my dad in all his technologicalness had the movie camera of us doing the HOTLINE!!! We even had a mic which I think may have gone to like the stereo or something... or maybe nothing?!? But anyways. The manager they had was getting 50%. When I heard this I was like WHAT?!?!? HOLE UP... rewind DVR... no YEP them fools said 50%. And the One with Mary Wells... the settlement she signed, signed away her royalty rights. Now I have some definite thoughts on the whole Motown machine but really?!?!? Did she just not have lawyers on her side?
I am ready to go out and buy a Rav4. LL Cool J is the spokes... err dog and is that not the coolest thing?!?!?
if you call me at 11:37 at night I'ma need for that to be a booty call!! Not my cousin checking to see if I was ok from the earthquake WHICH by the way I didn't even realize WAS an earthquake until my co-worker had told me. What had happened is I needed some jelly beans which you can't really get in August even at Easter time I had a hard time tryna find the Sunkist ones I like. And you really can only get the Jelly Belly jelly beans if you are like at the airport paying something crazy like $5.99 a pound soooooo if I want jelly beans I gotta get mike and ikes which essentially are jelly beans... so I'm at the dollar store messing around cause who wants to rush back to work. They workers were stalking the shelves and alla sudden I hear and feel a rumble and I though hmmm someone musta knocked the cart over LOL
ok it is 9:16 and I am ret to go to bed
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
NEW EDITION!!!
ok so VH1 soul is playing the 'soul story' of New Edition. I'm sippin on my jumbo wine and watching the videos. LORD those videos were bad and even worse were Ralph Tresvant's teeth THANK GOD he used some of his earnings to get some braces. OOOWWW but I loved them. Ronnie Devoe was MY MAN and it seriously hurt my feeling the 'Cool it Now' video he was with another girl!!! HOW DARE HE!?!?!? Didn't he feel my love all the way from Pittsburgh?? I remember my cousin trying to pacify my irrational feelings, but she was younger than me and I don't suspect her love ran as deep. I had the 'Right On' picture of them(and DeBarge... my loyalties were pretty equal at that time. Either with Ronnie Devoe or El DeBarge I was gonna have me some beige babies... at ten I was already planning my family LOL) Ronnie never did have eyebrows.
AND THE OUTFITS!!! Someone should be shot for letting them look like that LOL. And the bad choreography. SOMEONE always messed up a move and it is hilarious at 37 to watch this. These are the early videos. They got better.
Then Bobby Brown left... and i got that tape King of Stage. But NE was still rocking bad videos and choreo. But you couldn't tell me they were not THEE best group in the world.
Ok so between Earth Angel (this was the cover they did for Karate Kid Part II(why can I not say karate like KA rawty... I have to say KA RA TAY... that from the Seinfeld epsisode where Kramer was beating up the little kids)) they musta did a 360.. cause If It Isn't Love is HOOTNEESSS.. OK I'm mad at VH1 did they miss the video after if it isn't love??? These are the Johnny Gill years... Actually as I am searching my memory banks I remember seeing them several times with Johnny Gill and not Bobby Brown. But I also remember Bobby was on tour with like Al B Sure maybe?!?!? ok so I had to go to freakin you tube SORRY this was a concert video and I love a continuation.. btw I am NOT a happy vcamper that Ne-Yo just left us all hanging... but I digress which is MY prerogative!! LOL
So now they are showing the older videos with Bobby Brown AND Johnny Gill. Now I must say at that time. When Bobby Brown was tabloid king BEFORE the whole Whitney situation... he coulda had got it!!! I always thought he was kinda sexy. But these days he's just a lil too sloppy. And I aint talking weight. What is HELLA funny is the chick he is married to now used to live a few doors down from me at the good Virginia State University HIGH above the Appomattox!!! Also what's funny is Johnny Gill never could... I mean I know how it sounds to say who could and could not GET IT. That sounds soooo... whore-ish. But hey, I know everyone has a celebrity crush. It's not like it will ever happen. I mean IT COULD. But in reality not so much. My biggest and hardest crushes were when I was a 'tween' to about 13 or 14. NOW what's sad is I don't like nobody...
Oh well 'SOUL Story' is over!!
AND THE OUTFITS!!! Someone should be shot for letting them look like that LOL. And the bad choreography. SOMEONE always messed up a move and it is hilarious at 37 to watch this. These are the early videos. They got better.
Then Bobby Brown left... and i got that tape King of Stage. But NE was still rocking bad videos and choreo. But you couldn't tell me they were not THEE best group in the world.
Ok so between Earth Angel (this was the cover they did for Karate Kid Part II(why can I not say karate like KA rawty... I have to say KA RA TAY... that from the Seinfeld epsisode where Kramer was beating up the little kids)) they musta did a 360.. cause If It Isn't Love is HOOTNEESSS.. OK I'm mad at VH1 did they miss the video after if it isn't love??? These are the Johnny Gill years... Actually as I am searching my memory banks I remember seeing them several times with Johnny Gill and not Bobby Brown. But I also remember Bobby was on tour with like Al B Sure maybe?!?!? ok so I had to go to freakin you tube SORRY this was a concert video and I love a continuation.. btw I am NOT a happy vcamper that Ne-Yo just left us all hanging... but I digress which is MY prerogative!! LOL
So now they are showing the older videos with Bobby Brown AND Johnny Gill. Now I must say at that time. When Bobby Brown was tabloid king BEFORE the whole Whitney situation... he coulda had got it!!! I always thought he was kinda sexy. But these days he's just a lil too sloppy. And I aint talking weight. What is HELLA funny is the chick he is married to now used to live a few doors down from me at the good Virginia State University HIGH above the Appomattox!!! Also what's funny is Johnny Gill never could... I mean I know how it sounds to say who could and could not GET IT. That sounds soooo... whore-ish. But hey, I know everyone has a celebrity crush. It's not like it will ever happen. I mean IT COULD. But in reality not so much. My biggest and hardest crushes were when I was a 'tween' to about 13 or 14. NOW what's sad is I don't like nobody...
Oh well 'SOUL Story' is over!!
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