Happy Premise #3 - Even though i feel like I might ignite, I probably won't!

So they have been hitting all things Jewish really hard at the assisted living in the good Pikesville MD.  I don’t know why but Hava Nagila gets the roommate going. She has been known to throw her hand in the air and wave it like she just don’t care!

I swear to all that is holy and good that folks feel like they can say any ole thing online and in the comments section and not give a second thought to it being mean, hurtful or unkind.  I mean really?!?!  I know people use online as a way to hide, but not me.  If I say it online please believe I’ll say it to your face!

The other day I came home to a huge pile of dog sh… POO in my yard.  As much as I wanted to blame my neighbor that has a dog, it’s a little dog and this was BIG pile o poo.  So this morning it took me forever to get myself together and when I opened the door to walk out I see a man and Benny the bulldog (LOL) but he has him on a leash so even though I side eye them both I don’t harass them.  Then up the street I see the crazy ass black dog.  Now this fool has run himself in the middle of the street and the car thankfully stopped so the silly owner could come get him.  The dude with the bulldog has stopped walking too because he doesn’t know what this dog is going to do.  The black dog looked playful but you just never know.   This while my neighbor across the street has 2 big trucks coming in and out of his driveway because he is getting some tree work done and I’m standing there fussing at one truck for driving the wrong way up my one way street and watching the silly owner and black dog (he just HAD to be black).  I noted the house but since I already cleaned up the mess I couldn’t point to it and fuss, BUT I KNOW it was that damn dog!!!  It’s probably the same dog I told to go home… no wait that dog was a pit bull and when I yelled at him, he went home (LOL).  I bought something from PetSmart with pepper and citronella as a deterrent.  I’m not trying to hurt nobody’s dog I just don’t want them to poop in my yard.

On Iyanla Fix my life she had a man who had 34 children with 17 women.  And I thought about myself and immediately knew that could not be me. I can’t even date someone with too many kids.  I remember 2 guys both were handsome in their own way.  One had 4 kids, well 5 but he counted the set of twins as 1 which even when he said that my libido just went down to the ground.  Oh wait, this was the same fool that did naked push-ups LMAO Anther story for another day… The other had 4 kids 4 baby mothers and I just kept thinking my baby can’t be #5 NOR can I be baby mama #5.  Not that I wanted to have kids or kid with either of them but as a childless single chick it’s something I think about. His deal was 1 kid he just found out was his; 1 was in Nebraska (yeah I know Nebraska??!) and 2 were in Baltimore; 1 with his sister’s best friend the other with some random woman.  BLANK STARE!!  Yeah he had already too much drama.  So then I’m seeing the promos for this show and I still do not know how you get caught up in mess like that unless you just want to.   He must have been spitting and/or slanging some high end shiznit to have that many women.  I mean who dates their friend’s man?  AND has a kid with him!??  And then you still stay with him and have a few kids with him.  And that’s only 2 of them!!  I would have loved if she had ALL of them and as many kids as she could fit in like an auditorium or something.  And I get why the older kids were like just forget it! We don’t need you now!!  It’s a bad situation all the way around.  And them damn baby dolls!!!!  That was thee most hilarious thing Iyanla has done.

I am having a rough morning as I laugh at myself.  So I left my coffee in the cafeteria and got a side eye glance from the dude in the bagel line as I walk right to the front to grab my mug.  I get to my desk proceed to drink and wonder why my dress is wet, OH that would be from the hole in the insulated mug/cup thing.  Why a hole, well that would be because I did  a horrible packing job when I attempted to pack them in the bag I just purchased on the cruise to carry all the crap I bought on the various islands.  SO it had a handle which broke and I tried to repair it, but I stuck it in the dishwasher and the glue melted off (imagine that).  Now it’s just a hole.  And I keep sticking it in the dishwasher and that part keeps getting filled with water which is why my dress is now wet!  Thankfully it is of a polyester variety so it will dry quickly.  And of course I now also have a coffee scented keyboard!! Oh the joys of being me…

Happy Premise #2 - the is no giant foot trying to squash me

So here’s the deal.  I had the bright idea to color my already red colored hair honey blond.  I’m not sure why I thought it was a good idea… I mean I REALLY don’t know why I thought that it was a good idea.  I saw the box in the store and I was like OH yeah!  That’ll be cute!  But what had happened is the turnout was HORRIBLE!!  I have some video and I’ll attach it as soon as I edit it so you too can see the fuckery that is now my hair.  The good thing is that I have an appointment this afternoon to correctify this mess! 

I always forget how people are here, and maybe everywhere.  I mean there are always the few nice folks who are just nice to everyone and then there is everyone else.  So there is a white chick that just refuses to look my way in the hallway.  I’m making it real easy on her.  I just look away too when she walks by.  It is silly, catty, and childish but sometimes that’s what you gotta do.  There is a black chick that is attempting to do the same thing but she looks me up and down so maybe her attempt is just to be rude, who knows.  What I do know is she needs to go get her toes done cause while you looking me up and down chick I’m looking you up and down too and your shit aint right!!

Deep breathe… and onto non mean girl things!!

Breath of fresh air

Breathe of fresh air

Hmmm…. I got some auto correction going on **smh**

I don’t have a whole lot to say today.  It is getting chilly and I am not prepared for it.  I need to pull out my tote of fall/winter clothes so I can dress a little better for the weather.  And I need to bring in my heater which I know is contraband, but my knees be chilly so who gon check me boo? Amidst my current hair issue I have the nerve to look like Jackie Moon today.  It’s just BAD all the way around LOL.  And on the note of vanity I need for there to be more mirrors in this building.  I am in a new building and the old building had mirrors on the elevator doors so you know you could check yourself before you got much further in the building. I mean you might have a boog, or your pants might be unzipped or just whatever.  I have 2 mirrors at my desk, well 3 (LOL).  One to check for boogies, the other to make sure no one sneaks up on me.  It falls often, but it’s in a good position today.  The other is to also check for boogies and tooth crud.  The struggle is REAL!!  I don’t know why that term is so popular alla sudden.  Hasn’t whatever struggle always been real?  At least it’s real to whoever is going through it.  And are we really in struggle mode all the time?  I have questions, but who has the answers?!?

I had to remind myself the other day that zombies are not my lane.  So there is a tv show starring Harold Perrineau from Best Man movies and I like to remember him from Lost tv show.  So I’m like ok it might be good.  AND THEN a zombie bit something or someone or jumped out and I was like OH HELL NO!!  This is not my show!!  I tried it!! I did watch World War Z with Brad Pit and after I got over it being a zombie movie it was pretty funny.  I mean even though I know zombies are not real, IF they were I would not survive a zombie attack.  I would die, and I’m ok with that!!  I would not be the gun toting hero black chick; that is not my story!! I really don’t like too much scary, but the preview for Sleepy Hollow came on and I am so looking forward to it. It has a definite scary vibe, but I like for some reason.  I am looking forward to many of the new shows coming on this fall which I hope can make it past only one season.  Thanks Fox for cancelling every damn new show except Brooklyn 99 which I STILL don’t get why it is so popular.  I mean I watch and I like the characters, but it’s not THAT freaking funny.  I have learned not to get to attached to any show.

Happy Premise #1 - There are no aliens!

Wrote this a few days after Labor Day…

The other day I think my cousin thought I was joking when I said I needed a break after working for 2 weeks for the good Labor Day.  But NO it’s true!  I had a nice 2 ½ month vacation this summer.  I highly recommend it if you can afford it!  I’m not really sure how I did… well yes I do, but that’s none of your business!!  It is good to be back to work.  And for the meetings I manage to stay awake, I am productive.  Yesterday I know my team lead saw me sleeping!!  And I could not keep my eyes open for nothing.  But then they popped open and I said my important few words LOL  I had to fight to get included to most of these meetings so now I have to act like I care and have something meaningful to say.  The last go round I had such a myopic view of what was going on, so it is nice to have a big picture view of the project.  I got a nice compliment yesterday also. My manager (I think… I honestly don’t have a person that I report to) says that she is so glad I’m here and that I was requested to be on this portion of the project!  I looked at her like NO REALLY?!?!  It’s always nice when folks recognize you work.  And then it’s hilarious that they actually think I know what I’m doing!  I mean I do but some days (like today) my answer is Yes sure I can do that but then I gotta read everything to make sure I know what I just said yes to.

Spending time at an assisted living can be interesting.  It’s assisted because for the most part these people just need a little extra help, but not so much that it’s a nursing home and not so little that it’s independent living. The conversations are hilarious!  Often things get repeated because either the person asking forgot or they can’t hear you.  But these people have lived pretty long lives and they still have stuff to say!

And then this is more recent...

My refurbished iPod I bought a few years ago has decided to stop syncing and I now I have to go to the apple store to see what the heck is wrong.  If I had known almost 3 years ago that I would have been getting a better job in just a matter of months I may have sprung for a NEW iPod with all the bells and whistles but instead I got it from Game Stop and honestly it has been fine.  Before that I had the Sony Walkman MP3 player which I still do have and may have to break it out again.  So I get to Columbia mall a mere minutes before the clouds open and torrential rain comes down.  I have to get to the appointment because it took me almost a week to get it.  Two bags on my arm, I took my flip flop off and waded through the water with an umbrella I had in the car.  I get to the store sit down, legs and butt wet and bag a little wet and check in with Josh, or Chad… or Ian they all looked the same even the girl and even the black guy.  Sam comes out and I tell him my issue and he says well did you uninstall ALL Apple products?  My face was like uuuuhhhh… what do you mean? What I didn’t know because I am not an ‘Apple’ person is that along with iTunes, Apple slaps some other programs on your computer that you may not know are there.  It’s nothing harmful they mostly hang out in the back ground, but if you don’t know they are there you don’t know to uninstall them.  I’m sitting there and I ask Sam, is it ok if I pull out my computer?  It’s a Dell.  He says of course!!  I need to see what’s going on with your computer so I can help your iPod. I’m like oooookay.  So I pull out my pink Dell (yes it had to be pink) and instantly I felt all eyes on me. And then Sam clicks a few things and says he’ll be back.  He did whatever he needed to do, reinstalled everything and it synced (sank?) right away!  I was so happy!!  I really was because I really didn’t want to plop 200 plus bucks down on another iPod.

My thoughts on the NFL…            

1.      Ray Rice – As much as I don’t want to have an opinion of course I do so here goes.  DON’T DO SHIT IN ELEVATORS!!!  There are cameras everywhere!  And that wasn’t the first time he hit that girl and probably won’t be the last.  I don’t think he meant to hit her that hard but he did and we all have seen it and they are making an example outta him.  His life is not over; this is just a blip that everyone is weighing in on.  As for his wife, I wish folks would stop calling her stupid.  That is the decision she made, to stay with Lil Ray.  I might be love it might be money but whatever it is women have made decisions to stay with men for reasons that are their own.  I’m not defending or sympathizing but it is a bad situation all the way around.

2.      Michael Sam – I think I am the onliest person who in the midst of this being a great victory for the gays all over the world thought ‘Can he play football?!?’  He was chosen next to last in the draft and I know people can have closed minds about people living the life they want to live but he wasn’t a 1^st round draft pick for a reason.  THEN he gets an EPSY award for courage… Not 1 game has been played so I’m still thinking ‘CAN HE PLAY FOOTBALL?!?’ Then he gets cut and then my thought was OH he CAN’T play football!!  He got signed to somebodies practice team and I wish him luck but I mean come on… I knew the accolades were a bit much.

3.      Lesean McCoy – This fool right here left a 20 CENT tip at a burger joint in Philly.  I’m not shocked or surprised, but I am pissed at some of the comments made by folks who have never been run back and forth by entitled people only to want more and then they leave a bad tip.  I remember many (many many) years ago serving the radio DJ’s from a radio station here in Baltimore.  It was about 7 or more of them so I could have added the tip in but I think my co-worker/trainer said well don’t add it in because they will probably leave a good tip.  SO I didn’t and they left maybe $5 on a ridiculously high bill.  But then one of them did leave more because he was embarrassed (as he should have been) by his co-workers.  If you can’t afford, or don’t want to tip, then don’t go to places that have servers.  One commenter asked how much would have been enough?  In this case the bill was like $61 so at very least 9 bucks.  I mean it’s great when you get a tip that is huge, but that’s not the norm. Celebrities or athletes probably get better service because of who they are and tips are not mandatory but COME ON!!  What he did was just mean and I think everyone should send him a tip card so this foolishness can end.

4.      Go Steelers!!!