so which one are you? BECAUSE I know who I AM!!

I completely understand that Black people come from everywhere but it totally threw me off when a co-worker who sits not too far from me spoke to me in the parking garage and I was like (well in my head to not her) You sure do talk funny!!! What I actually said was YOU HAVE AN ACCENT!!! Where are you from? She is from England and she is very soft spoken. I honestly hadn’t said more than hello to her in almost a year. I guess in contrast to the woman who sits behind her who is SOO LOUD for no good reason most of the time and who talks incessantly and who chimes in to any conversation within her ear shot. So Miss England Lady is just pleasant and posh BUT who can throw a shady look real fast!! I almost howled out loud one day from one of her looks.

I was just talking to someone about how funny I am about my food. I really don’t like when people stand too close, look at it, OR breathe on it. So I am almost sent right over the edge when I go to Panera. The basic set up at Panera is the same; you order, get your number and then go stand by the wall near the food and wait for it. Just recently I went to the one on RT 40. In addition to my food I ordered a mocha something or another that was a cold drink. Well the little boy took forever to make it and that meant my place on the wall was compromised because even though I was ahead of some people I walked up after them waiting on the little boy who as I think about it might have had some challenges, but hey, we all have to work and he got my order right; but he did feel the need to show me his hair which I really didn’t need to see… but look at me digressing LOL Anyway, we were all doing well UP UNTIL the little girl needed to stand right at the counter and ask questions. No ma’am sir!! All your questions needed to be directed to the cashier who is NOT handling my food so please just stand over here near me on this wall. At the Panera in Pikesville during lunch time they usually have an expediter meaning a person who stands there and makes sure the order is correct. This is great there because the little old people like to stand RIGHT THERE and breathe all over everybody’s stuff. I always want to elbow them in the side and be like JUST MOVE!! But I can’t be hurting the geriatrics. So I try to hit that one either early or late but not during the rush.

I’m putting this is in at the request of one of my crazy friends. There is a shuttle that goes around to all 6 buildings because I work on a campus. When we stepped out of building 6 and the shuttle was right there so naturally I said LET’S GET ON! Now mind you we both work in building 5 so it was literally less than a block BUT to my defense it’s up hill and we had food or wait I was the only one with food AND that is what the drivers gets paid to do, shuttle folks! He don’t care if it’s from building 1 to 4 or in my case 6 to 5. My friend who shall remain nameless, cause you know, I try to protect the innocent was SO OUTDONE!! She tried to act real embarrassed LOL but she hopped her happy ass on the shuttle with me!!!

My mom is a total flirt! There was this one time (at band camp) this was many years ago in Downtown Woodlawn. We went to the Chinese restaurant and she missed the step coming out of the restaurant and went tumbling down. This is before the BIG fall (that would be the whole right shoulder replacement) so it was funny! Like DAMN lady how did you get down there? My sister and I and I think my nephew too tried to help her up but then this burly man came up and she shooed us away so that she could be his damsel in distress. She had this big cheesy grin on her face like THANK YOU KIND SIR!!! So fast forward to this past Saturday, she is in the wheelchair at the rehab facility and she is explaining to me that the trees needed to be pruned. I disagreed with her and she didn’t like my answer. So a guy, one of the regular visitor (turns out both his parents are there) came by and she asks him if he thought the trees needed pruning and he said yes and that they are way overdue. He walks away and she gets this look on her face and then she say in just above a whisper come on back here!! I said WHAT DO YOU NEED FROM HIM?!?!  And she says is a fake seductive voice I just wanna talk to HIM!!! SO I'm sitting there BOTH of us are laughing cause like do you really think you got some game lady??!? O mean she act like she still got IT and far be it for me to say she don't LOL

I really need to know if this is just me.  SO today i decide that even though it is a rainy gloomy and just all around horrible day, that it is a good day for a pedicure. So I go to a place that a girlfriend of mine goes.  I go in, pick my color and wait for the little girl to say come on back.  We pass a little pod of 6 chairs.  I am facing the woman who looks like droopy the dog with her wig on that I'm sure she bought last year and her glasses all the way at the tip of her nose, then there was another woman who I couldn't see getting her feets worked on.  We go to the next pod where there was a man working on a woman's feet, a woman working on a man's feet and another random man sitting in one of the chairs.  I told the little girl can we go back to the other one with no men?!?   Now I think I have said this before but I'll go ahead and say it again... Men absolutely should get pedis, manis, facials and whatever other metrosexual thing they think they need to keep themselves together BUT it does not need to be at the same time as when I need to get those same services. It just throws me all the way off and if I have the choice then no I want to sit with the other women please!

so I...

So I’ve had a few... well no A LOT of really random things happen to me the last few weeks. And in no particular order here we go. I bought some brick pavers to line my flower bed in my front yard. I got them at the Lowes about a month ago and have been riding around with them in the back seat of the hooptie. FINALLY I had a nice day right after a good rain where the ground was moist and I could dig a little and put them in the ground. I really do love the dirt! I got into a nice groove and then sat on the ground had my little gloves on and was just doing my thing. My ‘tree’ neighbor is coming out of the house getting ready to go to church, it’s a Sunday I should mention, and even though I have not gotten myself ready for church, me and LBJ are communing through the earth. Anyway she is fussing coming down the steps talking about her HA-TERS. I’m sitting there minding my own and she gets in the car but think WTF. Well the person picking her up drives up and rolled down the wind so Miss Tree lady can speak to me she say ‘OH hi good morning!’ in a real fake ass sing songy voice. I say Good morning and then she says ‘Praise the Lord!’ and then they drive away. MY face was like WHAT IN ALL THE ENTIRE HELL IS GOING ON!?!? I mean I guess she is trying to be nice or act nice or whatever, but I just was like really lady?!? OK. So I chuckle for a minute and continue in my yard. I finished laying the pavers and I am good and dirty, finger nails needing a good scrub, well my whole EVERYTHING needs a good scrub and I am sitting on my porch doing more communing. There is a church on the corner and people frequently park in front of my house. I am parked on my drive pad because I had to get the paver bricks where they needed to go. So a man pulls up in a little Metro/Aveo/Bug kinda car. He pulls up opens his door, decides he is good and parks right in the center. He hops out the car and I say EXCUSE ME SIR!! He acknowledges me. I say ‘Can you pull up a little so that other cars can park behind you?’ THEN I notice his hearing aide so I’m like well damn did he even hear me?!?! He looks at me, then he looks at his car, and then back at me and this FOOL, the man ON HIS WAY TO CHURCH, says back up to me ‘NO I really don’t have to, this is a public road!’ SO I SAY, cause I’m freaking flabbergasted, ‘You know what you sure don’t!! Have a nice time at church sir!!’ He jumps in his little ass clown car and drives off in a huff. I was like WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE?!?!? I am not tryna bother nobody. I just sat there for a while and then took my dirty butt in the house.

Then today at the Rite Aid picking up some odds and ends. So I'm at the pharmacy counter and a little boy (20 something) is talking to the pharmacist.  Now you know i was tryna see what his issue was but not really because i was in my own little world. So then I see his Raven's ta on his neck. Now don't get me wrong, I really don't have a problem with tats.  I mean some times it can be a bit much but you know sometimes I'm just like do you boo boo.  So the Indian lady cashier who I see a lot there is saying how she likes my dress even though it's brown, because she doesn't always like brown but that it looks good on me and then I try not to get distracted by the woman with the cart with her bonnet on and I KNOW her hair is jacked up under there.  I collect my things and then see the other side of the little boy.  This mofo has an ORIOLE on the other side of his neck.  Now this is devotion my friends!! I linger cause I need to see ALL of his tats and then he blinks.. HE GOT TATS ON HIS EYELIDS!!! I just so unable to can right now and I have to walk away which is what I do!!

not a peace sign but a fascination with scissors...

Am I the only one who remembers Weezie on the Jefferson’s who didn’t work but was always going to The Help Center?  Her and Helen were going there like they were doing something major.  That just hit my crazy random head cause my team is just about to drive me crazy and I am ready to see how it would be a lady who lunches.  I was talking about all the women who had their small kids near my job in VA.  It was in a pretty expensive area so the fact that they were chilling with the kids and other women meant the husbands had some heavy duty jobs.  So I guess I need to find a husband with not just a good job but a GREAT job!!  I honestly don’t know if I am cut out for that life but I sure would like to try.  AND have a full-time housekeeper because even though I’m not working I would be too busy to clean the house.  And if we throw a kid in there then I need a nanny too!! and for shits and giggles I might as well get a landscaper and pool boy because surely I would have need for all of that too.  Yep that would be a great life.  It’s not that I don’t like working but many a day I feel like I am not living up to my full potential and not doing what I am really called to do. 

I just got my contacts well the trial version and I have to get back into the swing of wearing them, it feels so dry.  I’ve already used the expensive drops but I don’t want to have to use it every hour on the hour.  I’m only getting them so you can see my eye make-up LOL (sad but true)!

The best line in all of the TV show ‘Sex in the City’ was ‘he’s just not that into you’ WHY do we as women try to explain everything the guy we are desperately trying to be with as a rational whatever when in all actuality it most likely is HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!!!  So Carrie was dating Berger, who ended up breaking up with her using a post-it, Miranda was trying to figure a guy she was dating out and Berger was like he’s just not that into you and a light bulb went off in her like YEAH that totally is it!  So the unreturned calls and texts and the lack of interest or he is busy because of whatever, he’s just not that into you.  Easier said than done though cause I can come up with a whole story with supporting characters for why men act the way they do.

I am listening to an old house mix from like 2008.  I used to couldn’t get through my day without several mixes, now I have gotten so picky.  Well one thing is I don’t like a lot of talking through songs.  Just play the music and list the songs but then don’t feel like you have to add extra stuff to a song I already like.  One dj from the station I used to listen to non-stop handzonradio.fm (a lil pluggeration) not only talked but YELLED through most of his show and I just could not handle that.  I won’t call him out but if you have listened to that station recently, you probably already know!

I’m feeling some kinda way. 

So my neighbor left several notes for me to pay half for a tree that was in her yard and then fell in HER yard.  I don’t know why I feel bad for her, but it’s almost like if you are that big of an idiot that you think I’m paying for something that doesn’t affect me then you should be felt sorry for.  The nerve of her!!!  And I know if the tree fell on my side she would not have even entertained a call from me.  But I also would not have tried to get money from her, I would have just taken care of it. 

My oldest nephew got married this past weekend so now I have a new niece!  It was really nice, but with any event I always think what I may have done differently.  But hey they had an open bar and a photo booth, what more do you need?!?!