I am having a lot of feels today! A regular emotional basket case!! My birthday is tomorrow and I don't have much planned except I think the spa and going to drink somewhere with some friends if they decide to come out. I'm also having an Eeyore moment "thanks for noticing me"
ANYWAY... Here's why I'm feeling old. I was 13 when Dirty Dancing came out, one of my most favorite movies. Picture it Summer 1987... I think I was spending a week or weekend with my older sister and brother. This was the summer before I went to high school. My sister's boyfriend was staying or came for a visit but he was like ew... that movie sounds dumb. I was like how can anything with singing and dancing be dumb but I am a musical kinda chick I guess I always have been. My brother was like well, lets go see the movie anyway. So I had a date at a theater somewhere in Silver Springs with my big brother! I FELL IN ABSOLUTE LOVE WITH THAT MOVIE!! I loved Patrick Swayze, I loved Baby I wanted to learn how to do the Pechanga and rumba and salsa and any other dance that was in the movie, I loved the hating ass hating sister, I even loved Jerry Orbach!! I still want to do a summer at a resort which probably doesn't exist like it did in that movie. it just was a feel good movie with a happy ending and at 13 I was there for it! Now fast forward 30 years YES 30 YEARS and the movie is having a viewing I think next month for the anniversary THIRTY YEARS!!!! I remember when I was younger and I wanted to be able to say 5 years ago, or 15 years ago or whatever. I grew up with grandparents and older people who would always say stuff like back in 1966 (or whatever random year)... blah blah blah. NOW tomorrow is will be 43 and I can say 30 ( 3 and a zero) years ago I saw Dirty Dancing in the theater!! SO yeah I'm feeling a little old. Not that it's a bad thing, I thank LBJ everyday for allowing me to see a new day. I having been doing a lot of self evaluating and while I know I have accomplished a lot, I still feel like I haven't done a damn thing. I keep thinking this is going to be my year!! And it very well may be but most I have a lot of doubt. I don't know what that one thing or series of things need to happen to make me feel complete but once I do, I'll let you know!
Today I went and picked up my moms (aka the roommates) fur coats. Before I got to the shop I made a pit stop at Fresh Market. I love this store! I really is a gourmet. Sampled some coffee and chicken salad and the little boy at the bakery counter even gave me a lil strawberry cupcake. Life is good!! I think I had more on this...
I had a whole thought process of a whole lot of random, but what I really want to do is lay on the couch ride out the last few days of my Netflix and just chill!!
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Thursday, January 5, 2017
Happy New Year 2017!!!
Happy New Year!! It is the year of our Lord 2017. I didn't do a year in review mainly because I can't seem to get myself together enough to get anything done. Although I must admit yesterday I had 5 calls to make, I wrote everything down, and I made all the calls. This is not the norm for me. I am so scatter brained most days it's not even funny. Today I did the 2 things oh no wait 4 things... I got 4 things done that was on my mental list of things to do.
This new year is going to be a good one!! I have to stay positive and hopeful because that is truly alls I got right now. The job search is going nowhere fast. Let's just say this is probably the crux of my angst. It is both humiliating and humbling to apply for jobs I know I am way over qualified for and then try to rationalize other jobs that I might have transferrable skills but don't fit the exact requirements. I often wonder how anyone gets any job ever. LOL It just seems like a random pit of despair especially when I'm not working. I know mortgage is due and all the other 50eleven bills and commitments but how in the world did I get here and not have a plan b? That's a lie, I have a plan A, B AND C but at the moment none are working like I need for them to. SO I need to craft plans D through at least J. I feel lazy and at the same time like I am doing everything I can do.
No is a complete thought and sentence. It felt WONDERFUL to text it, mean it, and move on!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar said something recently about how the Bachelor (yes the TV show) gives a false sense of hold up let me look it up... OH he said it's killing romance. Read the article here. SO this is what happens when you don't hit save and walk away... shit gets lost!!! WHAT I HAD TYPED was... If I were to believe what I saw I would have to be 20 something and white, preferably blond hair and a size nothing to fall in love. So forget about me being black and over 40 and natural hair with an ample amount of curves. But I am a hopeful romantic! I still think it's in the cards for me. I still believe my king will come and sweep me off my feet!! I deserve to be swept up. I have kissed enough frogs!! What prompted this is a whole lot of random things. Like an ex telling me (a while ago which is why he's an ex) that this aint a fairy tale and we got adult shit to do... WELL yes but what I asked of you wasn't even all that much so!? Then a cousin I have who posts eye rolling things about her family, but why not her?!? Why shouldn't she get what we all want? To the commercial of the princess trying to be rescued by the prince but after the kiss she just wants him to go away. Plus a whole lot of other things. I had a train of thought but I think I got off before it was completed. OH YEAH LOVE... I love love!! The idea of it, the actuality of it but it seems to keep passing me by. Maybe it will happen this year that I go on successful dates AND have some meaningful love, from the opposite sex (oh and good sex cause that's important too) not just the unconditional cat love LOL
My mother (aka the roommate) is a retired teacher. Sometimes she wakes up mid lesson I guess from the dream she was having to teaching the non-existent classroom and proceeds to teach. Most of the time it's pretty comical. Today she was telling 'us' that we needed to complete the gleaners and return them to the chairperson. She couldn't remember who that person was (I was SURE she was gonna say Deacon Yuille who has been dead for a few years now but he did make it to 100) but we should complete them with our pennies and turn them in. One day she was very adamant about the use of the TH in words like the, those, them. 'We' needed to practice because 'we' have to be sure to use words correctly. Keep in mind she taught Social Studies (world history, civics, African American history etc) she was not an English teacher so I was very perplexed as to why we needed this lesson. That would be until one of my caregivers came in talking about her muva and bruva. Keep in mind I love my caregivers!! They are the blessings I didn't even know I needed, but this one in particular can kill the king's English. I cringe sometimes because she'll say strimp and prestription and other just wrong as hell stuff. I guess my mom got tired of it and decided to teach her how to speak correctly. Only problem was she dreamed it and when she woke up I was the onliest person there for the lesson.
My mind has been put at ease but yet I'm still stressed. It's a good stress though, so we'll see how it all works out!!
This new year is going to be a good one!! I have to stay positive and hopeful because that is truly alls I got right now. The job search is going nowhere fast. Let's just say this is probably the crux of my angst. It is both humiliating and humbling to apply for jobs I know I am way over qualified for and then try to rationalize other jobs that I might have transferrable skills but don't fit the exact requirements. I often wonder how anyone gets any job ever. LOL It just seems like a random pit of despair especially when I'm not working. I know mortgage is due and all the other 50eleven bills and commitments but how in the world did I get here and not have a plan b? That's a lie, I have a plan A, B AND C but at the moment none are working like I need for them to. SO I need to craft plans D through at least J. I feel lazy and at the same time like I am doing everything I can do.
No is a complete thought and sentence. It felt WONDERFUL to text it, mean it, and move on!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar said something recently about how the Bachelor (yes the TV show) gives a false sense of hold up let me look it up... OH he said it's killing romance. Read the article here. SO this is what happens when you don't hit save and walk away... shit gets lost!!! WHAT I HAD TYPED was... If I were to believe what I saw I would have to be 20 something and white, preferably blond hair and a size nothing to fall in love. So forget about me being black and over 40 and natural hair with an ample amount of curves. But I am a hopeful romantic! I still think it's in the cards for me. I still believe my king will come and sweep me off my feet!! I deserve to be swept up. I have kissed enough frogs!! What prompted this is a whole lot of random things. Like an ex telling me (a while ago which is why he's an ex) that this aint a fairy tale and we got adult shit to do... WELL yes but what I asked of you wasn't even all that much so!? Then a cousin I have who posts eye rolling things about her family, but why not her?!? Why shouldn't she get what we all want? To the commercial of the princess trying to be rescued by the prince but after the kiss she just wants him to go away. Plus a whole lot of other things. I had a train of thought but I think I got off before it was completed. OH YEAH LOVE... I love love!! The idea of it, the actuality of it but it seems to keep passing me by. Maybe it will happen this year that I go on successful dates AND have some meaningful love, from the opposite sex (oh and good sex cause that's important too) not just the unconditional cat love LOL
My mother (aka the roommate) is a retired teacher. Sometimes she wakes up mid lesson I guess from the dream she was having to teaching the non-existent classroom and proceeds to teach. Most of the time it's pretty comical. Today she was telling 'us' that we needed to complete the gleaners and return them to the chairperson. She couldn't remember who that person was (I was SURE she was gonna say Deacon Yuille who has been dead for a few years now but he did make it to 100) but we should complete them with our pennies and turn them in. One day she was very adamant about the use of the TH in words like the, those, them. 'We' needed to practice because 'we' have to be sure to use words correctly. Keep in mind she taught Social Studies (world history, civics, African American history etc) she was not an English teacher so I was very perplexed as to why we needed this lesson. That would be until one of my caregivers came in talking about her muva and bruva. Keep in mind I love my caregivers!! They are the blessings I didn't even know I needed, but this one in particular can kill the king's English. I cringe sometimes because she'll say strimp and prestription and other just wrong as hell stuff. I guess my mom got tired of it and decided to teach her how to speak correctly. Only problem was she dreamed it and when she woke up I was the onliest person there for the lesson.
My mind has been put at ease but yet I'm still stressed. It's a good stress though, so we'll see how it all works out!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)