Gettin Jiggy with it! (cause why not? LOL)

I keep going on to the QVC to see what they have knowing good and well I am not buying NOTHING!!!  I've already purchased and received the gifts I bought for myself Wanna know what I got?!?!  So... I love Love LOVE the brand Mented a make-up brand for women (or people cause men wear make-up too and I try not to judge!) of color.  The first thing I bought from them was a set of nude lipstick's.  Nude never used to mean a color that anything near my shade, but they have so many to choose from.  My favorite is Dark Knight a deep brown with subtle red undertones, like my skin! The other 2, Brown Bare and (I think) Foxy Brown ( I guess I should mention, I can't find the Foxy Brown one *sad face* ).  So what I got was the curated box they had for Harlem, the show on Prime.  In the box was a liquid matte lip, a blush, a mascara, and the Everynight eyeshadow palette.  I also bough some Double Good popcorn and I have truly been savoring it because my entire ass needs to be on somebodies diet real soon!!

**SPOILERS**Harlem on Prime** watch it then come back...

Harlem on Prime is a series with Meagan Good and Boo boo kitty (Grace Byer) as the lead; the other 2 women I'm not familiar with.  It was really slow going for me.  Meagan (Camille) overacts MOST of the time and even though she has been doing this for quite a while, I always want her to just relax and just freaking act.  And her eyebrows need to be softened, like are we still rocking the severe eyebrows like that?!? She is so freaking pretty, but those eyebrows are too much for the kid! Her character is a doctor (PhD) yet she makes some really dumb decisions and lacks confidence.  Like bitch, you a whole ass doctor... GET IT TOGETHER!! Grace (Quinn) plays this ultra desperate woman who ends up on a group date/pyramid scheme when the dude after the fact asked her to pay for the lobster roll she didn't even eat!!  I don't really want to go there, but Angie played to way to loud, inconsiderate Black woman which seemed like a horrible caricature of dark skinned black women.  Like I had to really push myself past her initial scenes.  And then there is Tye, the app creator of an LGBTQIA+ (cause the plus includes so much more) dating site, who ends up dating a white chick but then feels conflicted and then we find out she was married to a man.  Rounding out the cast is Robert Ri'chard (they gave me some nice booty shots :), Andrea Martin (she had a few shows in the past, but she is so funny to me), the dude from The Have and the Have Nots, Whoopi Goldberg,  and freaking Jasmine Guy!  It took to maybe ep 7 or 8 for me to be like OK I see you girl!!!  I mean not my favorite show but I would love to see it come back and the characters be developed even more. 

We have had a resurgence of Black women led shows to include Insecure (even though this is the last season).  First Wives club with Jill Scott, Michelle Buteau, Ryan Michelle Bathe. Season 2 had to make some Covid related changes so it wasn't nearly as good as season 1 but it is still a solid show.  Run the World on Starz with Bresha Webb and Amber Stevens and 2 other ladies.  This is a close second to Insecure to me.  The music is AMAZING, done by Robert Glasper, so of course.  Now my main gripe with all of these shows is, Black women do exist outside of New York City!  I mean come on!! But I love how they seem to be making a comeback.

You know what, I'm tired of being scared! I want to live my life, go to places (like on a plane) I want to go without a fear of this damn virus.  I want for the people who are contracting it now to not die!! I think I pretty much said the same thing this time last year. I am truly blessed to have never gotten sick!  

I'm okay, Okay?!

 I watched the Insecure finale just like everybody and I have some thoughts.  Unlike my 1 girlfriend who said she only had 1 question which was 'Where was Molly's dog?!'  Like ma'am HOW is that your onliest question?  And we barely seen Flava Flav since season 2 or 3, so to answer her question... He's boarded in a doggy daycare somewhere! Here are my questions of this last season in general and in no particular order:

1. Why was Dro at the going away party? Why wasn't his wife (well ex-wife) there instead? Was he friends with Tiffany and Derek?  Did he and his wife go to Stanford with them?

2. The relationship with Nathan always seemed off to me.  So I wasn't really 'Team Nathan' nor was I 'Team Lawrence' but I do like how it ended up... And this isn't really a question so much as me thinking out loud on the computer blog but they both seemed to have gone through several relationships before they found their way back to each other.

3. Why didn't they ever show Kelly's baby?  They jumped a year ahead so she should have had it.  And then Tiffany was pregnant at Molly's wedding.

4.  MOLLY'S FREAKING WEDDING!!!  I never saw it for (bitch ass) Taurean, but he really made the most sense and I freaking love that they ended up together! I loved that dress!  Wedding dresses are so subjective and I really only like a handful of dresses whether friends or receptions I've bartended or the TV, but that one was amazing!  Don't at me if you didn't like it.  LOL  I didn't like the Bridesmaids dresses,  like you a whole AKA on the TV show, you putting them in red dresses?!?  Where they do that at?  

5. Why didn't they let (fine ass) Daniel make an appearance?!?  For all the cameos at the end, they coulda had him walking down the street or something!! I mean DANIEL ALL DAY ERR DAY!!!! I guess I was 'Team Daniel'... whew chile all that chocolatey goodness.

6. I was a mess after Molly's mom passed away so I am super glad they didn't show the funereal or any of that.  

7. So the (cutie pie... I can't remember his name) barber was about to beat Nathan down for taking his customer, but he called Nathan when he got locked out? Like they resolved that beef real fast.

8. Did Tiffany and Derek stay in Denver?  And did y'all see her hair was a hot mess in one of those scenes so is it safe to assume to too much Black hair care is going on in them Colorado streets?

9.  I really need for Chad and Kelly and Issa's brother (da hell is his name? had to goggle it, Ahmal!)) to have some type of spinoff.

10.  And did y'all see Chef Julian!?  Damn I miss the Black N Sexy shows! That was a whole movement for a few years of which Issa Rae was part.

11. I'm going to rewatch the finale and see if I missed anything... then I am also going to watch and listen to podcasts. 

Sometimes I gotta goooo, where I don't feel like going!

 You ever had a time when you know the question that you're not even sure how to ask is about to unleash a can of worms that isn't even necessary to open!?!?  I'm sitting here like I know my question is simple, but it's about to open up a lot of dumbness.  So do I just ignore and wait for the thing to happen that in inevitably going to happen??  OR do I be proactive and start a good ole shit show!?!? LOL

I had the craziest dream last night.  There was a hotel party and I'm not even sure what the event was nor the hotel, but we we in a lobby of sorts and mostly all the people in my family were there.  You had to get your ticket verified by some random guy and I walked over to do just that.  It was like around the corner.  I was early so there was no line.  The guy who had to verify my ticket was I guess a bartender and had these little shots of drinks, but they weren't really a shot size, less than that so they looked like samples.  I asked him if they were samples and he said HELL NO!  I was like OK... well how much do they cost? and he said $82 for 12 and I was like oh ok never mind (like why would I need 12?!?!  both numbers I'm sure mean something but I have no idea).  So then he starts pouring the shots (there was this big punch bowl that looked like caramel sauce) and I said I SAID I DIN'T WANT THE SHOTS!  And he says DAMMIT! (LOL writing this is freaking hilarious).  He slams down the ladle spoon and then sits down.  He got some drink or whatever the hell it was on my alphet (say it out loud) and I was pissed so I go to his chair and say DUUDE, my dress!!!  He shrugs and then I say, What about my ticket?  and he threw my ticket on the floor and shrugs again.  I am fuming at this point and kick over his chair with him in it! He is on the floor stunned and I get real bold and say YEAH!!  AND WHAT?!?!? Then I walk back around the corner and meet up with my people... and that was all I remember of the dream LMBAO!!

I've had other dreams sine then but I can't remember them as vividly...

We all know that random thoughts pop into my head at any given time, it just the nature of how my brain works.  So why wasn't there a black cousin in the movie Bridesmaids?!?  We all know Maya Rudolph is bi-racial, and in the movie her father is very clearly black, so you mean to tell me she aint have that one cousin on her daddy's side that she coulda put in the wedding?  As it is most of them are friends; I think Wendi (from Reno 911 & the Goldberg's ) played her cousin and Melissa McCarthy played the sister in-law (so she had to be a bridesmaid) were the only family representation.  And I just looked to see that Judd Apatow was one of the main producers and he don't put black folks in his movies... there are several articles about this.  But also to this point, he like most directors and producers use mostly the same rotation of people; but C'MON!!!  She had a black cousin that was pissed she wasn't invited to be a bridesmaid!  ijs (LOL)

Why can't I keep my sneakers clean?  They are white and fabric and I have washed them twice.  I think I will just stop buying white; that will solve that.  I have been buying alot of sneakers though.  And by alot I mean 3 pair; and I feel like I need one more.  I work on the bottom floor and there is so much concrete.  What I don't need is for my legs and back to be killed by the concrete.  And as much as I like sandals and having my toes out (well in the summer) the amount of walking I have to do daily is just more conducive for sneakers.

Stopped to watch my emotions sway!

This week has been rougher than I needed for it to be.  My cousin who I grew up with passed away suddenly on Sunday 8/22... the same day as my oldest nephew's birthday AND the same day as my father's funereal 20 years ago. So this date already has been bittersweet and now I have more bitter to add to the day unfortunately.  My cousin was generally a good person, God fearing, good father. There is so much I could say. What I will say is this one hit different! He was in a car accident earlier this summer and had to have surgery as a result. Everything went well as far as we knew, but several months later, he passed away. I've just been sad and everyone is saying nice things on Facebook and that makes it that much harder.  This one was not expected at all.  He had 2 kids; 18 who just graduated from high school and the other 12 in middle school.  I don't know how it is to lose a father that young.  I lost my dad in my late 20's.  It is still very surreal!  I couldn't look at him real hard in the casket because even though they did a good job, that wasn't him.  I want to be cremated!  Not sure where I want to be sprinkled but that is the plan! Maybe a few on my family member's graves (wait is that weird?).  My uncle was put in the casket with my grandfather (that was weird because they didn't like each other... although to be fair, I'm pretty sure my grandfather didn't like most people).  And we are done with casket and cremation talk!

I was listening to the song 'Just Got Paid' by Johnny Kemp and the lyrics as I thought them to be:

Just got paid, Friday night

Party hunting, place is right

Booty shaking, all around

Know one thing; that I'm getting down

I just went to the 'official lyrics and they was wrong wrong wrong!!!  BUT What I heard on the radio this fine AM was... well all of the above EXCEPT the Know one thing said.. POURED ONE DRINK NOW I'M GETTING DOWN!!  Why was I in my car like this truly blew my mind?!?!  All this time I thought he was saying KNOW ONE THING!!! Not POURED ONE DRINK!!! **mind blown emoji** LOL

This one was the blog queued up, well kinda sorta.  It has been several weeks and let's see... I went RVing (well RV light as my niece would say).  She found the RV on Air BnB and rented it. I mean it was cute to do, but I promise I'm good!  I don't have to relive that ever again!!  I realized (well this ain't no new realization) that I like luxury (on a budget LOL).  The space was a little tight, and with 4 real grown adults and 2 small kids, it was interesting.  There was a clubhouse across the way that had a bigger/regular bathroom cause, none of us were trying to clog up nothing! My baby niece who is 1 is very demanding.  I took the handful of blueberries out of her hand so that she could eat them 1 at a time, after she stopped yelling at me, she would tap my hand so that I could feed her blueberries.  It basically was, since you won't let me do it my way, FEED ME (bitch is implied LOL)!!!  The baby nephew who is 4 has way too much energy for me! I must say, there is a huge difference to being an aunt when I was 15 and being an aunt at 47.  I'm just tired.  So when he is revving up I have to say 'Baby, Aunt Tauf does not want to fight right now (or ever!)'.  His parents recently put him in soccer, so lets hope that helps with his energy.  We did make it to Assateague where the wild horses were supposed to be roaming on the beach.  We saw a few horses, and I did get to dip (literally cause it was a gloomy/rainy day and I didn't wear my suit) my toe in the water; that was cool!

It has now been several more weeks... I am not so god with the blogging LOL I went to Florida which yadda yadda yadda, I talked about in the previous blog.  I did a quick lil trip to Atlantic city with my boyfriend which again I dipped my toe.  So if we are counting, I have dipped my toe 4 times this year!!!  Rehobeth back in May, Florida, Ocean City, and then Atlantic City!!  I can't really complain.

It has been yet even more more weeks.... and I need to go ahead and edit this thing and post it.  I will say that I am in one of my bi-weekly work meetings.  What I love is that I have a co-worker that I actually like and can joke about people during the meeting!  That is all I will say about that because you know, I like to try to pretend to protect the innocent.

And now my random thought for right now is that I need a  French Toast do over this weekend.  I went to a place last week not too far from my house and the French toast was terrible AND expensive.  I really want to give this place another try, but it's going to be a good long minute before I do because I don't like to waste money, nor calories.  I might have to hit up Sugar Mama's or Miss Shirley's.  Hell even Double T Diner would have been way better!  And I'm getting mad all over again at those pieces of bread that didn't soak in any kinda egg solution.  

but yo, I don't know what to tell ya!

 I had another blog queued up and ready to go but then I went to Florida on an airplane and I got some stuff to say.  First of all... Southwest, I thought we had an understanding that you were not going to have people in the center seat?  It worked well for me going down, but coming back home... Those mofos sold EVERY SINGLE SEAT and then some on that flight.  And, had I known that, I would have NOT had my bag on the seat when all of the people under 150 pounds walked back.  Now what I have never claimed to be was a little chick, but babaaay, the woman that sat beside me was very ample in size. And I looked at her and her 5 bundles of wet and wavy hair, caterpillar eyelashes, and long nails and thought a few different things.  I don't want to body shame because big girls are sometimes just big girls!  I'm more annoyed with Southwest than her. I just wished she didn't move around so much, and I wish I didn't miss the beverage service (wait... was there beverage service?!?), and I wish my arm and leg didn't go to sleep, I wish the flight attendant didn't make the announcement that we needed to keep our masks up when Southwest knew damn well they didn't care nothing about no social distancing, by booking the whole damn flight, like yes we can help to curb the transmission but shit, SHIT!!! REALLY Y'ALL... but you know... I made it safely home!  

On to the time in between the fuckery of Southwest... I went to Florida and had a great time!!  I hadn't seen my cousin or aunt in over 2 years and that is just unacceptable!  Over the last few years so many things have happened and it was just impossible to get down there.  SO I'm just glad that I was able to slow down a bit and hop on a plane and go lay eyes on my family!  My cousin picked me up and when we got to the house there was a soror sitting with my aunt and my aunt IMMEDIATELY says 'Oh the baby is here! '  And I don't know why this always throws me off, cause I have to say out loud to remind myself that I am 47 whole ass years old!! And if we being technical 47 3/4... REAL close to 48 and even closer to 50 which I know don't make sense but whatever!  And I can shake it off pretty quickly, because saying, I'M A GROWNUP makes you sound stupid!!  I am real grown as Ms. Evelyn Braxton would say.  Anyways, I get there on a Friday and we didn't do much Friday.  Saturday was 'pool day' interrupted by a crazy midday Florida down pour.  Their pool is so close to the house, almost a private pool for them.  And jeez, just thinking when the last time I've been in a pool?!?!  Huh... it's been several long minutes.  Sunday we went to The Orange Blossom Classic which was a game between FAMU and Jackson State.  This will serve as my Homecoming.  I haven't made it to Virginia State's homecoming in more years than I care to even think about!  So to see 2 amazing HBCU bands was a-freaking-mazing!! (I just said amazing twice.. that's ok carry on LOL) And, it was all in the comfort of a great suite!! I love when my people are in the know! There was chicken and vodka and Pepsi and water in a can (not sure why the Aquafina couldn't come in a plastic bottle... but whatevs), even some rose in a can.  It was really just good fellowship and a good time! Not really sure what happened during the actual game, but what I do know is those folks are serious about their teams and colors!  I have seen more para than I have before EVER!   Monday we went to this great Greek restaurant and then the beach!  I mean, how do I go all the way to Florida and not dip my toe in the ocean?!  We drove up to the beach and found a great spot.  The water was wonderful and I already miss it! At some other point we went to this local spot, Catfish Dewey's, that had all you can eat catfish; man it was so good!! I am now plotting my voyage to a local spot in Baltimore that has catfish because I need more!!

I need to understand why this one security guard makes it a point to come into this office to use the bathroom!?!?  Like WHY  SIR????  He then chats with whomever is available (never me though cause.... it clearly is a man thing and I am so ok with that LOL) and then leaves. And he has a big butt... ijs.  That always throws me off as well cause he's white, but white guys can have big butts, and they can't jump (LOL... I'm chuckling to myself).

You know what really grinds my gears, people NOT responding to emails.  It's like I gave you several days, you ain't that fucking busy buddy!!  And this goes for work and personal.  And I know things can get lost in the sauce but COME ON!

I'm not sure when I turn into the cheetah print chick but I am her!!  And I just got of the QVC website (don't judge my life) and there were these little sneakers with snake and other animal prints.  I immediately gravitated toward the cheetah print!  Like for real WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!?

you put the corn in the puddin and the puddin in the bowl!!

There is the mean looking little goblin man with a tear drop tat that I keep trying to speak to.  Well ok, to be fair, I thought he said hello first, when all he really did was look me in the eye and mean mug me as he walked by. And I didn't do anything to this man, I promise I didn't.  But I think I'm going to keep seeing him around as some sort or karmatic (is that a word?) punishment for me doing something to someone in my past.  Just now I waved at goblin man as I was trying to get a snack because I have not been doing so great either on WW nor snack rationing so I needed a chip.  I truly believe he grunted at me.  What may have been my saving grace is there were 2 guys walking up so I really coulda been waving to the other guy.  I mean I wasn't but you know, HE don't know that LOL

You know how everyone gained weight during Covid?  Not me!!  I actually lost weight because I had nothing to get in my way of eating right and exercising.  At one point I did a 100 days where I made sure I exercised every single day for a 100 days.  But to say I'm stagnant is an understatement.  I have maintained, but if I'm really being honest, I've gained and it is freaking me out.  I still eat pretty well and I do need my ration of chips but I have not exercised. Exercise I have found is the key for me.  I can't seem to do it just with food.  Probably also, my ass is getting older and my body just needs a shake up more often than I have been shaking it up.  But, I'll get there.  There is a young lady I follow on IG and she lost 126 pounds.  She looks amazing!  I also follow Black Women Losing Weight and they have a daily phot of someone who has lost lots of weight.  I am so glad for that motivation.

I'd like to file this under 'Shit that only happens to me!' Boom so check it (I never start like that but it felt right)... I'm at my favorite store which now currently is the Aldi's!  I do all the shopping I need to do, doesn't matter it's the 3rd time I'd been in the same week I needed more stuff.  I load my groceries in the trunk put my key as I normally do in the gap and then proceed to shut the trunk WITH THE KEY in the gap area.  I stood there in shock for a sec and then was like WELL SHIT!!  Now this is bad because I'm locked out, it's hot, and my phone is on the inside of the car because since the start of covid, I don't take my phone in stores with me.  It was my justification to not get extra germs on me.  Actually, for a while there all I was taking in the store was my car key and 1 card... well that is until I lost my card at the Whole Foods and had to cancel it and get a new card 😕 but that's another story, even though that is really all there is to the story... I took it in, most likely dropped it, called the bank immediately, and had to get another card. So back to Aldi.  I stood there more pissed than anything because I don't have my State Farm card so I don't know the number for roadside assistance and then SHIT AGAIN... I don't know anyone's number so even if I get a phone, who the hell am I gonna call? So I decided to go back into the store and ask for help because what choice do I have?  I ask the 1st cashier I see who then has to ask her manager who looks over at me like I stole something.  I'm standing there looking pitiful as hell and then she finally come over, attempts to look up the number and then hands me her phone.  I doesn't even occur to me to be concerned about the germs, I just take the phone and look up what I need to look up.  Now the systems in place now demand that you do everything online but you can't really do things online when you are borrowing someone's phone.  I finally get through to a customer service rep, and it takes a while to get through all of the information but we do, only for her to tell me to look for a text which is majorly frustrating but I just say thank you.  At this point I'm trying to decide if I am going to stand inside or go outside.  It's an overcast day but it is quite warm but after standing inside for a bit, I go outside.  A nice lady asked if I was ok.  I explained the situation and she offered to drive me home and I considered for about 2.3 seconds, but I couldn't think of where my extra key was in the house. So I stood there and then decided that I needed to sit; not sure where cause I was tired and it was hot and there was no where to sit.  Anyways, I went to go stand by my car.  The customer service rep told me lock outs usually are pretty quick, but I didn't know if that meant 20 minutes or 2 hours. So I'm standing by my car and was thirsty as hell and then decided to go into the Dollar Store to get a drink, because thankfully, even though I didn't have my key nor my phone, I did have my debit card.  I ended up getting a water and a strawberry lemonade (which was disgustingly sweet) and hang out by my car again. I don't know what made me go to the driver side door but I do and DAMMIT, it was unlocked!!  I stand there like WHAT THE ENTIRE FUCK!!!! I get in, unlock the trunk and get my key.  Then I'm thinking was it open the whole time?!?! Did I just imagine being locked out?  Did I just go through this whole rigmarole for nothing?!?!  At what point did my door unlock??  Cause I banged on the trunk.  WHY DOES THIS SHIT ONLY HAPPEN TO ME!?!? After I finish laughing at myself about this dumb situation I drive off, slightly embarrassed but for what I don't know because even if I see the cashier again, she probably won't recognize me because I still where my mask. I'm still chuckling at myself because that was one for the books!

June is busting out all over!!

I started a new job in mid-May.  Yay me!!  The main thing we need to note here is full time hours and pay AND waaaaay better benefits.  The benefits I had at my previous part time sucked monkey balls.  They sucked so bad that I am still paying for things that were not covered that I had no way of finding out it if was or was not covered until after the fact because no one would ever pick up the phone when I called.  How the whole office always at lunch?!?!  And when I would give my card to the medical people, they would look at it and me, like, we aint neva heard of this company before EVER!  I'm excited to be learning some new things, but I'm also excited to be teaching what I know.  Oh you gon get all my years of working history and office knowledge whether you want it or not!!  LOL The other joy is that I get to work with all men AND we get to share a bathroom AND they always make it a habit to leave the toilet seat up AND they're aim is usually pretty good, but I have strategically placed disinfecting wipes all around just in case they miss which is not often (believe it or not) EXCEPT for today!!!  TODAY some nasty ass man left pee all over the toilet and the floor and I'm standing there looking and I had to literally LOL cause how the entire fuck do you miss the toilet and manage to get it all over the floor as well, proceed to put your junk away and then hopefully wash your hands and leave the bathroom?  Sir did you NOT see all of the piss?!?!  I mean even another man walking up to that should be grossed out. BUT I have to emphasize that it was just today.  Normally, there are only 4-5 of us in the office at any given time.  I had to have been one of the contractors; I'm convinced.  The other thing I am looking forward to is throwing shit away!  I do find great joy in throwing other people's stuff away.  But this stuff really does have to go cause do we really need the MSDS binders from 2008?  NO.... no we do not.  I've gotten quite a bit of junk out of my office which served as the 'junk' office for years, I'm sure.  My 1st week the IT dude was about to put an extra monitor on top of my credenza which just from how he was moving was a normal occurrence.   I said OH NO SWEETIE, this has to live somewhere else.  And he was like OH well, I have to get a cart.  THEN a cart you must get, because it can't stay here.  I think often times when things change, people don't take the time to just go through all of the things so things just stay where there are and then a manager leaves, or a worker doesn't come back or gets promoted and then unintentional hoarding occurs.  I get it!  A few jobs ago, the office manager had ordered so many paper clips, that if I wanted to, I could have started a side hustle just selling the paperclips from work AND no one would have ever missed them.  

I have HBO Max and one of the things I love is movies that I can see without having to go to the theatre even though I really do love going to the theatre but... COVID.  So most recently I've watched 'In the Heights'.  When I saw the trailer, my initial thought was OH... OK!!  They actually have some darker skinned Hispanic people... I mean not my complexion, but darker than the light skin that is normally portrayed.  Good job!!  And then I'm a musical kind of chick so I was excited that this movie was coming to the 'big' screen.  I really did enjoy the movie. Nice love story between 2 couples; nice musical numbers; singing was pretty good; dancing was AMAZING!  I'm still trying to figure out if the black guy from Straight Outta Compton was supposed to be Hispanic or regular Black... because regular American Black is indeed a thing; or maybe I should say American descendants of slaves (ADOS) which translate to Black.  I will watch it again because I know I missed a few things.  Also it was 2 hours and twenty 2 minutes!  That's a long ass running time! I am still trying to figure out if Anthony Ramos is  cute and he is... but kinda not really, but kinda sort yeah?!?!  I mean could he get it???  Probably not!!  Those teeth might give me a hysterectomy, but he's cute!  LOL The little girl who played Nina, her hair keep changing and I kept having to question if it was a wig... And OMG Dascha Polanka... I did not know Miss Orange is the New Black had so much uuuhhhh... BOOTY!!! I was like OK Sis!!! And then there's Jimmy Smits... He could have gotten it since LA Law ijs.... LOLOLOLOL  I could have used more than 5minutes of Marc Anthony. Today I watched a Broadway slime video (which means bootleg... I had to look it up LOL) of the original play and it gave a little more context for a few things.  They of course added a few things to the movie and kinda rearranged a few of the scenes but essentially the same show.  

I wrote more stuff... but this is what happens when you don't hit save : /

I'm astounded by your beauty, the charm your pouring on me!

 Just in case you were wondering... black women DO EXIST!!  Last night I started watching the newest offering on the Netflix with Jamie Fox and David Alan Grier.  It is majorly unfunny but honestly I wasn't expecting much.  What get my panties all in a literal and proverbial bunch is WHY DID THE BLACK MOM HAVE TO DIE!?!?  I mean I guess they do have the black 'auntie' and Luenelle was on the 1st episode so that's something. But, this is the same storyline as the equally unfunny show with Keenan and the other dude from SNL.  The grandfather is white, so we know the black mom was biracial.  And I haven't watched a whole episode of that show, but there is the black woman co-worker... so there's that.  The Rock has a show too, and no black women and granted he is 1/2 black and his mother and that side of his family is Polynesian so, they have some melanin, but they are not black.  I'm sick of this story line and I'm not sure why it is all of a sudden a popular trope.  I know there are many single dads out there, but there are also single mothers, whole ass families and a lot of variations that Hollywood doesn't seem to promote.  What's the most hilarious thing to me, is all the men I listed above have not one single black wife or partner so I guess they might not know how to write that.  The Rock and Jamie fox have both been on Essence magazine and I know The Rock was asked directly about dating black women and he said something about how strong black women are, but yet I have never seen one on his arm. So just to reiterate... BLACK WOMEN EXIST!  And we come in so many beautiful shapes and sizes!  Not all of us are biracial with long flowy hair, although some of us are.  Some of us have dark skin, and guess what, we are beautiful too!! 

I just read an article about a rapper in Randallstown "Chad Focus" who stole 4 million from his company and was sentenced to federal prison.  I read the article and I watched one (cause what I don't want to do is F up my algorithm) of his videos on the Youtubes which wasn't even a whole 3 minutes.  And you know what?  I got questions.  #1 what checks and balances were not in place at his job for him to be able to run up a credit card bill that much?  Like HOW SWAY!?!?! #B There is a big booty girl in said video who shakes her ass on him stripper style the entire video.  I wonder how much she got paid?  Did she get paid? What is the going rate for ass shaking?  I wonder.  And #iii at what age do you say to yourself (cause he is a whole 33 years old, not ancient, and I know you gotta hustle) you know what, I think I'm a lil too old to still tryna be a rapper?!?!?  What was sad is I think he has a some mental concerns and that needs to surely be addressed.  But at least he stole millions!!!  Y'all know, if you ever hear about me in the 'papers' which I guess I have to change to the internets... it's going to be for BILLIONS, so at very least he didn't just nickel and dime the company.  I mean, his co-workers had to take pay cuts becasue of him, BUT he went out with a bang, AND still no career.  

Does a mojito count as a good Cinco de Mayo drink?  Ugh.. probably not seeing as it's Cuban and not Mexican. Well Ima act like it's Mexican TAHnight!!!

 

and there'd be no more hours of dreaming...

This week has just been hard! My sister had surgery and she came and stayed with me for a few nights and I reconfirmed that I am not built for the overnight shift.  When I was taking care of my mom and it became clear that she was not going to sleep through the night on a regular basis, I got a night nurse.  I actually liked that I could take care of my sister, that wasn't the bad part.  The bad part is my body just could not get it together. AND THEN there was daylight savings time which is some fracken nackle.  So I was just tired!  I kept trying to not be tired and telling myself I wasn't tired, but my ass was TIRED!! My goal is to work out at 5 times a week, which usually I make it 3 times, but last week, I worked out once.  I felt good after, but that was all I could muster for the week.  It's ok to not be ok! I felt bad for feeling bad.  How crazy is that?  Then it's also been gloomy and cold.  Friday was the first day I felt like myself.  My body is slowly but surely getting back to the normal that I am used to. 

Spring has sprung!  I didn't even realize the first day of spring had made it's arrival.  I shoulda known.  One clue were the smallish flower that were starting to pop up in my backyard.  I bought this random little basket of bulbs at Aldi's last fall and got them in the ground.  My main fear was that one of the critters (rabbit, squirrel or maybe even that dame ground hog (even though my brother told me it was most likely a family, I am still holding on to it just being 1 LOL)) were going to dig them up and eat the.  The squirrels are real good for that.  But, surprisingly they didn't!  It would have been great if I had labeled them, but unfortunately, that is not my strong suit.  There are crocus and maybe some type of lily and maybe a tulip?  It will be a surprise whenever they bloom.  It truly are the little things!  Also, my plants in the front are also making their arrival.  

The concept that things revolve around you is so ingrained in all of us that sometimes I think we forget that there are bigger things going on than what we can see or comprehend.  IT'S BIGGER THAN YOU!  

I washed my car today because the birds have been completely disrespectful to my car!  AND I felt that I needed to do it myself because an instant car wash or even hand car wash, they would miss a spot, and that would piss me off.  What I don't need is to pay for a service that I know is not going to be good. You go to these places, they don't do a great job, and then you still (well maybe it's just me) feel compelled to tip.  Nope!  Not today!  I had some energy today so I did it myself. I've poked my head out to look out at my car to see if the birds have 'tagged' my car, and so far so good. What I will need to do is buy another hose.  I've had that one for several years; the spray nozzle is rusted onto the hose AND there are a few holes. If I wasn't paying attention, I would have given my creepy neighbor, because I know his weird ass was watching, a nice little wet t-shirt show!  I'm looking on the Amazon now to see about a new hose which is going to take me down a rabbit hole of shopping and reading reviews and trying to figure out the durability and... UGH... just alla that!! I might could tape up the holes??! Maybe I won't be that trifling LOL! Or maybe I will?!??

Today is Sunday and the sun has been absolutely amazing!!  I just sat outside and soaked up the setting sun.  I have been in such a mode of gratefulness!  I am thankful for all of the things big, small, and in between!  And that's all I have to say about that!!!

Feb 2021

 I let the whole month almost slip by without a post.  The goal is to post at least once a month and I am almost not living up to my end of the deal that I made with myself.  I'm sure I have a lot to talk about, but right now all I can think of are the Sunkist Jellybeans I bought at the Dollar Store last week. I need to get caught up on all my shows from last week, but instead of doing that I'm watching an old show that used to be on Lifetime, UnReal, which is a scripted show about the behind the scenes shenanigans that happen on the Bachelor type shows.  Everyone is sleeping with everyone and it's not nearly as romantic as they make you think it is.  I'm not a huge fan of reality TV, but even from this show you can see how much manipulation goes into the creation of 'good tv'.  I wonder what would happen if they let people actually think for themselves. Also, I need to watch the new Billie Holiday movie, but probably not a good time to start watching after 10 pm.  I will stay away from the reviews although so far everyone is saying it was good.  They also said 'One Night in Miami' was 'good' and it was but it was also a little boring. I love Leslie Odom and Aldis Hodge and the little cutie that played Muhamad Ali and the British actor who played Malcolm X. I am super excited for Regina King and all of the accolades she is receiving.  

I had an amazing nap late this afternoon and I am so ready to go back to sleep.  SO even though I am racking my brain for things to talk about, I will pick this up next month. Peace, love, hair grease, and soul!!! LOL

Happy New Year!!!

 It is the end of the month but the sentiment is the same Happy year of our Lord and savior two thousand twenty one!  We got us a new year to make something of ourselves, or do something different, or do the same damn thing we been doing, or just do you boo boo!!

I'm currently watching The Resident and as much as I love Morris Chestnut, I freaking hate his character on this show, with a BIG passion.  HE. IS. THEEEE. WORST. What I do like **spoiler alert** are Mina and Theo (not his name on the show but Malcolm Jamal Warner will for always and ever be Theo) finally, Finally, FINALLY getting together. I mean that secks has to be HOT!!! mmm... Anywhooo

One of the very few resolutions I made this year was to blog more!  Someone randomly said, 'oh you only blogged twice last year' and I  thought about it and blogging once a month is not too much to ask.  I gotta give the people what they want!!  And I love thinking what the 'people' want and need is one of my random ass blogs.  My opinion of myself is ridiculous! LOL

I'm sure I made other resolutions, but the fact that I made it out of 2020 unscathed is nothing short of a miracle!! I mean we are still in the midst of a global pandemic and so many people that look like me are not making it.  I am still up in the air about the vaccine.  My black doctor told me the science is there and we should trust it, my (her) black nurse was on the fence but, she's an essential worker, so she is getting it.  My elderly... oh wait I'm sorry because she is not a senior citizen... my fly ass aunt just got it the shot, my nephew who is a top secret essential person in the government (wait I said too much... disregard what you just read!!!), and others have gotten the vaccine. I am still a little nervous about it.  I'm just keeping it for real for real!  And as much as I want it to go away, it just isn't going away fast enough! I thought for sure by now we would be getting back to a normal that looked like normal prior to March 2020. Alas, we are not.  The highlight of my week is going to Aldi's and even then, it is a deliberate shopping experience. I have the store mapped in my head so it is a real in and out situation.  Even today, I had to go to Sam's club to pick up a prescription. I mapped it out in my head.  The goal was: get a basket, head to the back, get chicken, water, loop around to the pharmacy, pay for everything there and leave.  In actuality, I only made 2 pit stops.  I got a basket, got kitty litter, chicken, water Kleenex, looked for a big ass thing of Lawry's but all they had was Morton's Seasoned Salt (eww), got my prescription after flirting with the dude in front of me (he flirted first and really how much flirtation can go on without knowing if he had all his teeth?!?!? and then I gotta remember, I got a whole ass man who would think my coy flirts were a sure sign I was leaving him LOL) I got the pharmacy lady to let me buy everything there, thankfully there was no line, and I high tailed it outta there!!  I was on my DON'T GET IN MY WAY mode for sure!  Don't try and sell me nothing extra.  Don't be walking all slow in front of me. I got shit to do! Lingering in the Sam's club is not one of those things.

This show is in Atlanta, WHY aren't there more black folks on this show?!?!  Almost like Designing Women back in the 80's.  They only had the 1 black man, who I just goggled, he died in 2014 : O  and speaking of people who died... Cicely Tyson an American treasure passed away yesterday.  She was 96 years old!  What an amazingly long and fabulous life and career she had!  She was still working as of last year!!!  That is just amazing.

So maybe late November I started having the worst hot flashes!  I was 46 ( I have since had a birthday, I'm a whole ass 47 now) and this is a little young to be in full blown menopause but for sure perimenopausal. It was just unbearable!  I would turn on my electric blanket in my bed, get warm and then 2 minutes later threw all of my blankets and comforter off because my ass was hot!  I would turn on my fan and let it blow on all parts of my body even if the temperature was 25 degrees.  I. WAS. HOT. It has gotten better in the last 2 weeks but I really thought I was gonna die!!  I mean I would just be sitting there and need to just fan myself because I would start sweating.  The crazy part is, I KNEW it was coming!  Since about age 8 watching my mother just sweat for no good reason.  She wore dress shields so as not to sweat through her blouses and dresses.  I remember running around church looking for paper towel because her flashes were severe.  She would drive fast with the windows down to relieve herself of being hot. I was there for it all, so I knew!  Fast forward to watching my sister strip down and sit in front of a fan because she was flashing! I knew! And then lets not forget the book club ladies who asked me to turn down my heat when I hosted book club because... FLASH!  So I knew it was coming!!  I just was not prepared with the vengeance with which it came!!! It has settled down a bit, but I have my fans (electric and manual) ready cause I  never know.

Ugh... maybe I shouldn't have drunk a jumbo glass of wine when I have a committee meeting in about 10 minutes! 

 Meeting went off without a hitch.  I actually sounded like I knew what I was talking about LOL.