pre-turkey randomness

I know my family is dysfunctional. In fact, I would be hard pressed to find a family that was ‘normal’ whatever the hell that means. But our level of dysfunction is minor when I hear some people talk about theirs. What has me chuckling now is my manager has a time limit for her family to be at her house for Thanksgiving!! WHO DOES THAT!?!? You cook; have people over and just lounge… well at least that’s what I’ve always done. Her family has from 1-4 to get whatever they need to get in. Eat, chat, dessert and then go the hell home!! It’s just funny to me. I wonder how the fam would react if I said y’all have to be out by 4!! Well actually it’s just my aunt and uncle and by 4 they may have had enough of us!!

I am so desperately trying to be productive this afternoon, but that same manager in the aforementioned paragraph had a coupon for a local restaurant and I had a Caribbean jerk crab cake AND mashed potatoes so I am sooooo done right about now!! I need to do a few more things but my left eye is already doing sleepytime. I need to be like George (from Seinfeld) and take a nap under my desk. I may just bring in a blanket one day. I think I would do well in Spain where they do a siesta. Go to work, go to lunch nap and then go back to work for a few more hours. That is what my body needs to do. Hmmmm wonder if Career Builder has an office in Spain?
Church should not give me as much material as it does! I just kinda wonder what do people be thinking when they put on their clothes when they come to church. This one guy I swear if he wears one more velveteen jacket I’m gonna scream. NO MAN should have that many velvety clothes and rock them as regularly as he does to church! Then there is this other older dude who wears about 50 gold bracelets. He is BEYOND the Mr. T Starter kit. I know we are all thankful for what God has done in our lives and express it in our own way BUT this is overkill. It’s almost like he has been buying a bracelet a month since he was 25. And don’t even get me started on the shiny suits. If it has a sheen, leave it on the rack. If it is not a basic color (black, blue, grey, dark brown), leave it on the rack. Mustard, maroon and especially paisley printed purple are NOT Basic!! As for my ladies… ***LOUD SIGH*** when in doubt, spanx it out!! My church has a 'reserved' spot for pretty much everyone at the church but me. If you are the head of whatever ministry you got a spot AT ALL TIMES! I am not really used to this. My church at home (Pittsburgh) had 2 reserved spots. The Pastor and the Director of Music. I think as the years went on the First Lady had a spot also. So here of the 50 spots in the lot directly next to the building 45 are RESERVED... I am only slightly exaggerating. So the spot I got this Sunday was next to the 'Reserved for Senior Member'. In theory this is a GREAT idea. If you are older but not necessarily disabled there is a spot for you. I knew I shoulda took a pic, but what took me aback because I have seen these signs before but not up close. I see a sign I just keep driving. But the spot ( maybe about 5 of them) are for senior members OVER 80. Ummmmm.. I'm not knocking older drivers but 80!?!? 8-0!!! I am very afraid of all the senior drivers OVER 80 driving to church i just am!!!

My new mantra is pantyhose are for SUCKAS!!! I don't know why it just is!

Whew!!!

WHEW I dodged a bullet!!! I am not a tremendous fan of potlucks. But sometimes you are part of an office where that is the norm so I just try to fit in. That was the case late last year early this year (during one of a bazillion temp gigs) when the sun could be shining and my co-workers would decide to do a pot luck. The good thing there was they had GOOD stuff like ham! Who doesn’t like ham?!?! I mean you know except for veggie-only type people. So it was easy for me to go with the flow there because it was worth it. BUT… when I question the hygienic capacity of my co-workers then a potluck or ANY food they bring in is questionable. Like I remember one time (at band camp) I was temping… or wait maybe I was full time OH YEAH I was (hah IMAGINE THAT?!?)anyways… it was right after halloween and we had already had a few potlucks and had eaten this woman’s food, but then this fool says “The pumpkins I carved as jack-o-laterns got all moldy so I can’t use them to make my pies” eeeeeeerrrrkkkk SAY WHAT?!?!? Let me clarify…the pumpkin(s) you used to put outside of your house and had been sitting there for God know how many days or weeks; you were going to bring into the house and RE CUT to make a pie? I had previously ignored the fact that she had a house full of pets because you can be clean and have pets. But her hygienic capacity or HC came into question and from then on I ate NOTHING she cooked or even stood to close to. So this week co-worker (I won’t call her tweedle) says “Oh I made lasagna and I’ll bring it in for all of us to eat”. I tried to keep my face neutral but all the while I’m thinking ‘LAWD how do I get out of this, I do not want to offend her but I aint eating her food’ even though my lips were saying ‘Yeah I like lasagna; bring it on in!’ I do try to be PC but it can be a challenge sometimes… MOSTtimes here lately. So of course I bring my lunch in everyday and she mentioned it yesterday and I was like ‘Oh I forgot, I brought my chicken maybe tomorrow’ So tomorrow is today and I bring in my chili and so she goes to the temp (in this case NOT me cause I am full time baby!! with the good (actually not really all that good… but I aint complaining cause folks are still jobless and health insurance-less so you know)) benefits… ‘there are 3 pieces left, why don’t you take it home to your family? Oh wait do you want some (to me)?’ Nope I’m good!! thanks but (HELL) no thanks!! The reason why her HC is in question are way too many reasons to list and they may make it seem like I am paranoid and/or crazy which I very well may be... I’ll be dat! I am just glad our ‘Holiday’ dinner is at a restaurant. Don’t get it twisted though I know what goes on in the restaurant industry. So sending up a prayer of thanksgiving and blessing to the hands that prepared is always always ALWAYS important.

I am feeling some kinda way about Heavy D passing away. He was the epitome of Happy Rap! You know where the hip hop artist actually rapped AND danced!! He wasn’t talking about bling, or material things or anything negative, Heavy D just wanted Love… and sex I suspect! But he was classy about it. I remember seeing Heavy D and ALL the Boyz in concert about a month or so before his dancer ‘Touble’ T-Roy died at the good Civic Arena in Pittsburgh… or should I say the now defunct Civic Arena… which then makes me think about the 1st concert I went to at was it the Stanley?!?! hmm can’t remember with DeBarge (well 3 of them cause Bunny was pregnant and El was sick or something) and Luther Vandross… who is also dead : / Lawd I digress). Back to T-Roy..that was pretty horrific the fact that it was an accident from a stage prop. Heavy D was only 44 which is a little too close for comfort as I approach 38. I mean I know when it’s you time it’s your time and the bottom line is YOU’RE GONNA DIE! But this just makes me want to take better care of myself and enjoy life more. I really think he enjoyed life. If I sit here for a minute I can connect to him within 6 degrees… yep there it is!! Gotta connect the dots in my head. Actually I was shocked to hear Andy Rooney just died. He was like 115… but he too seemed to have lived a good life. And not that you have to have been a celebrity or lived an extra long life because I’m sure there a lot of miserable celebs. Well hell there are miserable regular folks which is why I try to find something good to look forward to every day. Too much negativity can turn toxic. I am a full fledge card carrying member of the theories in ‘The Secret’! Thoughts do become things!

• Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny. – Gandhi
See even Ghandi knew!!

I do not appreciate the fact that I know all too well what a dead rodent smells like in an office. This is going to be a long winter if these critters keep coming into the ceiling area and dying in the walls and vents. NOT A GOOD THING!!

I’m not sure why I don’t feel the effects of my workout until 2 days later. I get up and my legs start to crack and stiffen… Epsom salt take me away!!!

sober random...LOL

have you ever watched people watch you do something? You think well you too can do… whatever it is, but not everyone has the same gumption, so they don’t. Mostly for me it’s travel. I have been a lot of places seen a lot of things and in no way am I close to being done. I won’t even let the fact that I really ain’t got no money hold me back. It blows my mind when people say they haven’t been to certain places. Like I really do take it for granted that EVERYONE has been to New Orleans, or California or Las Vegas or even New York since that is at least on the east coast… but that is so not the case. Really what prompted this are my tweedles… the women who sit up front. I could call them co-workers BUT WHY when tweedle is so much more fun!! The main tweedle has such a fond attachment to her desk that when she does get up it startles me. So naturally when I leave the office for lunch or just cause I need some air the looks I get are rather interesting. Early on (keep in mind I’ve only been here since March… and my gypsy spirit is ready for a change but I must continue to appreciate what I have because jobs are indeed hard to come by!!) I would wait until like 1:30 or 2 starving to death because I wanted to make sure the ladies up front got a proper lunch. But I soon discovered that all they did was heat up their food and plop back down at their desk. Eating at my desk has never been something I liked to do. First of all I am a messy eater so I need to not grease up all the papers on my desk. Second, a break from my desk is so very necessary. The simple act of going somewhere for even 20 minutes can clear my head and think about other stuff that is not work related. Third, one time (at band camp) at a job I was trying to finish up something and ate my salad at my desk and those SOB’s called me to the HR office for me to be let go. SO here I am trying to work hard for a company that did not have any value for me or the work I was doing so… from then on I take my lunch NOT at my desk. I feel some kinda way about the whole lunch thing LOL.

I know money is tight and I truly brown bag it on most days. But like yesterday, I went out to hop in my car and it was so freaking beautiful that I walked on over to McDonald’s. BIG MISTAKE!! So I walk so that act alone is good for my health right? So I’m like I’ll get one of those fruit soothies. WHY is it that what I want is not available? So the little dude behind the counter who it’s clearly his 2nd day asks the manager Cha’taquinetta (I know that was mean but I couldn’t figure out if it was a weave or lace front… it looked good thought cause you know I have a whole separate thing on people and their hair) if the machine had been fixed. So she proceeds to say ‘I am gonna punch you in your throat! I JUST TOLD YOU IT WAS BROKE!!’ So I’m standing there dying laughing cause that shit was funny AND trying to defend little dude so I say well he is asking for me because that’s what I want. So she cuts a look at me, but really I think she thought that I was not the one so she just went on about doing what she needed to do. SO THEN I settle for a McFlurry with oreos. Well damn if the oreos were out… JUST GIVE ME THE M&M’S. I order the snack size and little dude proceeds to try to sell me a snack wrap. I kept saying no a snack mcFlurry. So he looks at the menu… you do know the line is out the door by now… and he says so which snack wrap do you want. so AGAIN I say NO A SNACK McFLURRY!! Cha’taquinetta had to come back over and use her excessively long nails to punch her code in so I can actually get what I wanted which wasn’t really what I wanted but I was settling because I really did need a snack at that point. But I really do not like cold M&M’s so I had to eat my snack size McFlurry slowly

General Randomizations:
• Mr. Dude sitting next to me at church as I try to get my Jesus on, please refrain from texting and/or twittering and/or facebooking while they are passing out communion. Try connecting to the Lord instead and DE-Connect from the world wide web
• why were the PetSmart people really eager to help me today?! Now had I actually had a question them fools would have been nowhere to be found
• to the dude who was actually a little cutie (I am glad today was make-up day… to bad it wasn’t hair day) who showed us how to use the copier we already knew how to use, basic black is always a good color to wear for your pants selection. light grey pinstriped quasi-denim is not a good look… ijs
• it is flu season and I have said this before, I get that the reason you feel bad is because of allergies… but if you cough on me, or sneeze on me WE GON HAVE SOME ISSUES!! cover your mouth and go ahead and use that hand sanitizer on your desk before you start touching shit in the office.
• I am soooo glad I bought a case of 2 buck chuck in Virginia which was actually more like 3 bucks and some change, but HEY it was still cheap AND pretty darn tasty and since I can’t get it in Maryland or PA
• if I ask a question about your products then assume I want to purchase otherwise I would have kept walking and not said anything. That is sales 101 for the vendor who missed out on a sale from me cause he was not interested in giving me eye contact NOR answering my questions. All your stuff looked like a neo would buy it cause they just went over 2 days prior and need to have AKA or DST in big letters cause they are brand new! I aint no new soror and I have seen it all so the little bags you had you LOST BUDDY
• why am I still smelling the stink from PetSmart in my nose… or is it in my clothes?? eww AND why were the dog beds cuter than the cat beds. Paisley won’t know the difference I gotta go back and get one.
• and speaking of stink…. Ima need for all the critters living in the vacant space near my office to not come and die up in my ceiling and then have their tails hanging all out!! Can you say TRAUMITIZED?!?!?
• Jango is my new favorite music station!!! Thanks Chelle for turning me onto it!!
• my hair does look really crazy today. it probably would have been a good idea for me to run a comb through it this morning… I have gotten lazy working in an office of women. what I need to do is chop it all off and maybe dye it blonde… LAWD I need a change!!
• I have started the Firm express again (this is only the second time) and screaming DON’T YOU QUIT ON ME really doesn’t make me want to do an extra lunge
• I have been productive today but this blog has pretty much consumed me so let me sign off…