a case of the mondays...

ok 1st off i need to understand why my computer is moving about a fast as it did when I had dial up which is to say, this bitch is running hella slow... and I digress already right off the bat LOL

SO I attempted to write my blog several times at work and I'm not even gonna say I was working per se... but I was constantly interrupted. Let's start with my manager. Her computer was down so she came into my office and read her emails on her blackberry and commented on every one. At one point even though I was on the phone and it had nothing to do with her I held up my finger but she kept talking to me. I looked at her like OK YOU CAN GO NOW, to which she eventually got the hint, but not before new tweedle came in and they were having a conversation in MY OFFICE. I did the Ross "lower your voice move" (you gotta have watched friends to know that reference) and the both got the hint. New tweedle is so very special. Now if a task is her task meaning it is officially off my plate then WHY does she insist on asking me if I did her job?? UH the answer to that is NO and stop asking me!!! The system was revamped and YOU are responsible for testing it, not me. GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!! And this was the bulk of the day. AND THEN we have a new hire who seems nice but... I don't have a high tolerance for women who are apologetic for ever damn thing. WHY ARE YOU SORRY!?!? Did you do something wrong? Then stop apologizing!! That is such a pet peeve. It's your first day you aren't going to know the answer and you have a small window of opportunity for me to help you but, if you keep apologizing, I'ma not know anything and see how far you get!! I lost main tweedle and constant source of general idiocracy. The writing was on the wall but you still hate to see people lose their jobs, especially in this era of NO JOBS... well I shouldn't say that there aren't jobs, but you have to give a gallon of blood and your 1st born before they seem to want to give you one. So it's been stressful for the past few days, but it was real funny when they thought I was going to clean or help clean her desk. I kept thinking in my head when anyone said anything about 'cleaning' hmm I wonder how that's gonna work out? She had 7 years of crap and dirt at her desk the answer was UUHH NO!!! The layer of dust was freaking disgusting... I won't even go there about the dead mouse our cleaning lady found under her desk. I mean seriously how you gonna NOT smell a mouse?? And when you do, you KNOW it's dead so how you not gonna do everything possible to find it? Or call someone...cause I might not tried real hard either but the money we pay the pest people would have been really well spent that day!!! SO in general today sucked! But I got 4 more days to make it better... Hmm I wonder how that's going to work out?!?

I need to thank my BFF and my cousins for providing free of charge instant birth control! Instant birth control is any time I am around kids for an extended period of time which make me question my desire for wanting to have kids. NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG... I love my nieces, nephews and little baby cousins, BUT whew!! I went to the nieces school (home of the chicken hawks LOL) and there were kids EVERYWHERE!! And we had nerve to go to the lunch room. All those little people just made me (as aretha would sing) THINK!! and THINK THINK again!! Now my nephew who is... well actually I can say this for ALL the little boys I know, he is rowdy and rough and tumble. It's funny when they get a small bump or scratch and scream bloody murder but when they actually do damage they are quiet as HELL!! Now little baby baby cousin because he is 2 and he has to try hard to find his words his inclination is to whine and cry. And at one point I said... use your words man!! He just looked at me. OH AND he terrorized my cat!! Paisley is a low key non-meowing kinda chick, but she hissed at him like DUDE LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE. I told her to go sit down somewhere and for the most part she stayed in the basement or under the bed. Now the additional children were all boys... hmm that may be the theme, maybe it's little boys as instant BC -vs- all small people because the girls were way more chill... Hmmm... one little boy ran and ran like his life depended on it. Then there was another little dude who crawled down the steps face first. It was sad and funny cause all of us were like 'He gon learn!!' But he kept doing it and actually got good at it, so maybe he was showing us!! I just always try and remember how my oldest nephews were. The oldest was a little calmer, but his little brother because he was trying to keep up with him and 2 older boy cousins was just rough like 'AAAAAAA I CAN DO IT!!!!' And for the most part he DID!!

Me and Shaun T are working out. He is funny cause he has the Insanity DVD's and his instant out is where he says if your think it's to hard then this is not for you. I will stick to Hip hop Abs!! I am googling now cause I need to know what the T stands for... ahhh Thompson!! Now we won't go there about his sexual persuasion; alls I know is he looks good and he is hilarious during the video "walk like I'm CUTE!!" I don't know many dude that refer to themselves as cute but hey... he IS cute. And to be honest really muscley men don't do it for me... wait hole up hmmm ok scratch that thought. I need to end this self inflicted man fast...and moving on!!

so... TV I have ended my reality obsession. I just can't do it any more!! i can take hearing an update about Real housewives of Atlanta, but I can't watch more than 3 minutes. And all Idol was good up until the Fantasia/Jennifer Hudson season it just got boring cause they never pick the right people. And even when they do, aside from Kelly Clarkson and maybe Fantasia, what winner has done well in the real music world? All the runner ups seem to do better. And every single cycle of ANTM is the same; the chicks that i thought would make it didn't and the ones that look like men won. I still do like my Amazing race though. I LOVE Being Human, Once upon a time, Grimm, which are all a lil sci-fi vampireish. Leverage, Glee, Parks and Rec, Up all Night and that freaking It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. LAWD that show makes me literally LOL it is so dumb. I catch the repeats but every show is hilarious!!! One show the cat was stuck in the wall so they kept putting more cats in the wall to get the first cat out. They tied a string to a bird to get the cats out and then the string broke... see DUMB!!! I need to go see if an episode is one now!

Ok so I went to Beltway Likka and bought 3 bottles of cheap wine... which in hind sight i shoulda just bought 1 bottle of the wine I knew I liked cause you know, every brand is not the same and it can be hit or miss. the 1st bottle was alright. I can be such a wine snob sometimes because I really don't hate moscato, but when offered it I usually turn my nose up and say I DON'T DRINK THAT STUFF!! It's like white zinfandel, another wine where.. but actually I don't really like white zin... give me a RED zin and we are good... I don't like and I try not to berate the folks that ask for it when I bartend. I try NOT to say 'you do know that's not real wine!!??' I mean yes it technically is... but I need for folks to broaden their horizons which I guess the same could be said of anyone who just drinks one type of wine. But sometimes you like what you like and you know what you like so horizon broadening is out of the question. And I say all this to say.. I'm about to pop some popcorn and open a bottle of vino!!

doing swell in 2012!!!

It is only January 4, 2012 only a mere 4 days into the New Year and I already feel like ANGRY BLACK CHICK!! I don’t know what it is actually I do know what it is and I need to correctify myself real quick!! This is a new year and all the dumb shit that was in the past needs to stay in the past. One good thing… well if you can call it good, is I just had my root canal; here’s why it was good. I have been in pain since at least late summer. Not having insurance is a bitch, but not having a doctor that will work with a sista is even worse!! These folks have been working with me and so appreciate it! It was just a load off my shoulders to not have to pay before services were rendered nor seeing that stupid sign “all services must be paid at time of visit” You don’t know how much that stresses a chick out. So like if the doctor does a good job then great the services are paid but if he (or she shame on me for the gender assumption) does a BAD job you done already paid for it so what you gonna do?!? I found it really hilarious that no one (or at least that’s what they had told me) got raises but I got 6 separate emails this morning about folks who got promotions. Now to the defense of ‘the Firm’ these may have been non monetary promotions, but COME ON who are we fooling here!?!?

It is now January 6 and I have had a few days to reflect, calm down do some woosai’ing so you know all and all things are good. ESPECIALLY also, because it is Friday. It just occurred to me that I either need to write a book or come up with a comic strip like Scott Adams because the people I work with currently and the folks I have worked with in the past are a constant source of me SMH and LOL. I mean some of the moronic things people say to me on a daily basis I have to think to myself 1. Are you serious? 2. Did you mean to say that out loud? Because I really think you had meant to think about what you had just said to me so go sit down and think about it before you re-ask that dumb ass question you just asked me!!! I mean I could really do this. I can draw! I am being spoon fed the dialog as previously stated, DAILY. And trust, there have been many MANY jems in the past too. Hole up… looking at my receipt from lunch. did I just get charged 50cent for ice or the tomato?!?!? Now I’m feeling some kinda way about this!! which is why I usually carry my already on a tight budget butt to subway cause I can get lots of tomatoes AND I know exactly how much it will all be!! I’m feeling bamboozled right now! and I digress… da hell was I talkinabout?!? OH yeah co-workers **LOUD SIGH** and you know what let me just end this part of the blog by saying TLBJIF (thank little baby Jesus it’s Friday)!!!!

why is it when I go to take any form of medication my cup which I had thought was full, always turns out to be ½ a swallow; and then I got some nasty drug on my tongue as I have to go run to the sink to get more water…that makes me mad!! And I know why not check the cup before I put the pill in my mouth. Because dammit that makes too much sense!!! I just did something real ghetto… I just a big bit outta my wings. Now there WILL be chix grease on a variety of things including my keyboard and the random papers on my desk. That was such a pet peeve of my mothers. Back in the day she was on the scholarship committee for my church and someone submitted something with grease stains on it. She would flip out if I had a grease stain on homework or something I needed to turn in. I mean I guess it does look bad and unprofessional. But now what’s funny is everything my mother touches seems to be greasy I always want to be like what have you been eating and/or touching!?!? All of her reading glasses be greasy then her drinking glasses be greasy. I really do not know

So it’s a new year for the past few years I have refused to make an out loud (or silent for that matter) resolution. And not that I have any dramatic declarations to make but ok see what had happened is I tried on a t-shirt last week and the spare tire just sat there like yep I’m here to stay bitch!!! And I was like WHOA where did that come from?!?? Keep in mind I have never been a small chick but having rather large well endowedness my stomach was usually covered. But now that the belly is running neck and neck with the ‘girlz’ it is time to really get it together!! So I will pull from my already vast library. I got Hip Hop Abs, Slim in 6 (although I think I lent that to someone), Turbo Jam, Windsor Pilates, 10 Minute Trainer and….OH most recently Firm Express. So yeah I got the having the DVDs covered. Now I gotta get the actually DOING the DVD’s covered. I was thinking about the gym thing but unless the people there look like that dark chocolate cutie patootie Dolvitt on the Biggest Loser I am not really interested! So we’ll see. That other stuff? Well I have this little reminder on my home computer that I will be a millionaire in 2012. I’m not really sure how that’s gonna work out, but I’ll keep you posted!!