no they won't be naming no buildings after me...

I just looked in my frig and I have eggs and Pellegrino... HOW AM I LIVING MY LIFE!!!  I am judging myself LOL I mean I also have juice and wine, but that really is about it.  I thought about the supermarket for about 2 seconds, but I always convince myself that I really do have food. And I do, in the freezer. I probably should pull something out.

It really is time to do a year in review.  Christmas is Monday and 2017 will be done soon after. Let's review.... So I moved my mom into an assisted living and my sister told me I was less mean, so that's a good thing!!  I was an extremely hard decision and i go look at her several times a week.  I say look because some days are good ones where she is feisty and has a lot of questions and conversations to the days where she just stares at me and I know she is locked in her brain ans whatever she wants to say just won't come to the surface.  Most days are in between where she tells me she needs to fart and she goes off to sleep!  On the job front they were all temp jobs, some bartending and some driving.  I was in straight hustle mode!!  And I got tired. And so I stopped driving as much but I never found a work home or work people that I wanted to call my own.  I sell jewelry Let me find my link real quick...  And I really enjoy that.  I have 6 partners for a business that is still trying to get its wings (like red bull) and it's a  little frustrating because I feel like I should be a millionaire (or at least a thousandaire LOL) by now.  Everything comes in due time so I also feel like something is really holding us/me back because we/I may not be completely ready.  WELL clearly I'm not ready because as much of an entrepreneurial spirit that I do have, I still think about having a J O B.  But it really boils down to, bills have to get paid and as much as I want to be like Oprah and do what I love, BGE wants their cut every month. On the dating front... wait I'm not sure what that is... so moving on.  OH here's something big... I bought a new car at the end on March.  Specifically March 31.  It was end of month and end of quarter so those men were not letting me leave the dealership without making a deal with me.  What's funny is the ownership changed, but I still rolled up in there like SO I STILL GET MY FREE OIL CHANGE, RIGHT?!?!?!?  I did get in a car accident so I almost feel like silver cars are cursed, because the silver Honda I had back in 90-something i got in an accident as well.  Neither one was my fault even though this go round I think I might be out a thousand because I haven't yet called state farm and geico to fight.  Claims have been submitted and denied, but I still need to fight!!  Thankfully I was not hurt, but I almost think I might have needed to get hurt in order for me to get any money.  And I don't even want to get rich off this, I just want to money back that I put in.  

Yall know I got distracted...

Some of my biggest pet peeves are ones that you should have learned to not do in kindergarten.  Like chew with your mouth CLOSED!!!  This is so simple but so many don't know how to do this. And then since your mouth is closed, there is really no reason for conversation... SO no talking with your full ass mouth.  Just EWW!!!  And you demand that I ask you specific (or pacific LOL) questions then I'm going to demand the same.  Don't start no sentence mid stream and think I know what the hell you are talking about even though I do, I'm gonna play dumb like I don't.  Everyone does not get your stank ass humor so stop being hurt when no one laughs.  People who over use sanitizer I always give a lil side eye like, just go wash your hands if you are that germaphobic.  Like I get it you want to be clean but it just grosses me out cause you need a few germs in you so you don't get sick. I was in the bathroom the other day and a mom says to her little girl 'do you want to just use the wipes we have in the car?'  I a was like SO you gonna walk ALL THE WAY to the car when the sink and soap is right here?!?  That is beyond nasty.  Thankfully because there was one of those dyson air dryers where you have to pull your hands up the little girl was like NO I wanna use that.  So the mom washed her hands.  And then yet another day I'm in there and the woman comes out having just flushed, checked her hair, and rolled out.  I looked around like WAIT HOLD UP!!! You really NOT gonna wash your hands??  I think I used extra soap and then used the towel to touch all surfaces knobs for the rest of the day.  YOU. CAN. NOT. FINISH. MY. SENTENCES.  You just can't so please stop trying!!!  This is not a peeve more of a LIKE; a good smelling man can get further with me even if he is not so easy on the eye!!  ok that's it for now

musical hodgepodge

Getting into the Christmas spirit is hard for me for a lot of reasons and we all know I love the Little Baby Jesus.  But I know if I hear Mariah "all I want for Christmas" one more time I might kill someone.  ALSO, "Last Christmas" by anyone other than George Michael and even HE is a little iffy.  ALSO, if it's not Donny Hathaway don't play any other version of "This Christmas".  Both his slow and fast version.  My sister asked me if I liked Chris Browns version.  She almost got slapped!!  I can tolerate Luther's version, cause it's LUTHER, but for real for real ALL I like is Donny's version.  I do have some Christmas music.  Luther Vandross (of course right?), the Peanuts (yes the cartoon Peanuts) Christmas album, Rahsaan Patterson (yes this one is very random, but I like it), a mix one of my co-workers made back in the late 90's, Kirk Franklin and the family and that's about it.

I am currently listening to Kenny Lattimore who is doing great justice to Phil Collins "One more night"  even though I had to pause the cd to listen to Phil for a minute.  Actually Kenny did a version of an Elton John song that brought tears to my eyes.  But we all know I'm a big cry baby.  Let me find it... Come Down in Time!!  WHEW that song.  Sometimes lyrics need to be a little more elaborate that shake ya ass and I wanna screw (that's a Barb word LOL).  I don't usually like covers, but sometimes people can make the song their own.  Like LUTHER... I must need to put him on next!!  Even Lalah Hathaway can make you forget there was someone else before her that did the song.

I guess I'm in a music mood.  I was awed for a second when I asked my oldest nephew who said he listened to a lot of music but he didn't know who Ledisi was.  I think I repeated her name about 5 times and then he pulled he up on the youtube "Alright" came on and he was like OH OK.  Then I was like WELL WHAT DO YOU LISTEN TO?  He said Frank Ocean, The Weeknd... I just kinda gave him a blank stare.  I wanted to say THAT AINT MUSIC but I chilled LOL  I know I can be old school or hell just OLD sometimes, but I really don't like the new stuff now.  He mentioned a few people I have heard of like Future and Joey Badass, but if couldn't tell you what they sang or rapped. 
i said I heard of the Lil's like Lil Uzi Vert and the ASAP's like ASAP Rocky... But still have no clue what they rap.

Now I got my boy Eric Roberson on.  He recently did a trilogy of cd's.  When they came out I just did not have the funds.  But I just got the first installment EARTH.  I still need to get WIND and FIRE.  The elements!!  I know he explained it in one of his IG posts,  I know it is paying homage. 

Also, just bought Stokley who was the lead singer in Mint Condition.  I'm not sure why he felt the need to go solo.  The band is still together as far as I know.  He has done a few things on his own, but I guess not splitting the check 5 ways might be a benefit.  There is something about his first released single "Levels" that I just rubs me the wrong way but I knew I was gonna get his cd.

I got so much drama on my mind I REFUSE TO LOSE!

I'm on a conference call right now... Really trying to figure out my life and tired SO TIRED of waiting for someone else to make a decision so that I can have a job.  I have got to live my life differently.  I might want to start with turning off all the damn lights and turning UP the damn heat because I am cold yet I am pantsless and braless (yes I know this is an overshare but it is the truth right now!).  So this is my life.  It is also too dark to early and once the sun goes down I am ready to get my brown booty right in the bed.  But I got shit to do so I can't just be getting in the bed at 6:30!!  I CAINT!!!  And every single leaf on all my trees have huddle right up to the bottom of my steps.  They can't scatter like regular leaves!  And I need for it NOT to rain AND for my lawn dude to come clean this up!!  Cause I aint doing it and I will pay for him to do it.  What I also need is for my drunk neighbor to stop knocking on my damn door thinking I am his personal ATM.  I gave the guy some money once and know he thinks it's ok to just knock on my door.  SO last night I was 2 seconds from calling the cops.  His story was he needed to get his pregnant daughter to the hospital.  And I have questions marks... Where is the baby daddy?  Why she aint got no money?!?!  Where is her mother? Why does drunk neighbor have to come up with the money to get her there?  Why can't they call the ambulance?!?  And most importantly WHY DOES HE THINK I HAVE MONEY!?!?!?  Now I do... but this is a terrible precedent to start up.  What I say now is I don't have any cash in the whole entire house!!  FOR YOU is what I need to add.  Just like BLACK LIVES MATTER... TOO!!!!  It should be an agreed upon assumption.  I am struggling my damn self.  I had to check the account balance a few times to make sure there is enough in the account for mortgage and the cell phone because they both come out the 1st day every month.!!  I have been talking to a few girl friends because I really want to jump on this $19.99 for 2 year internet and just do internet and cancel the cable.  And as behind as I am on most shows, I really could binge watch them.  Plus I got PRIME and I just looked at the line up, and there is ALOT of content that I need to get too.  So yeah.  This is a hellified rant of complete randomness!!

Ummm... what else. 

I am currently dealing with a person who I am clear I need to watch my back and constantly cover my ass!!  I hate that feeling but like Olivia Pope, my gut is never wrong.  And speaking of Olivia... What the hell is going on this last season?  I have barely been watching it, alls I know is Quinn is kidnapped and Papa Pope has her oh and MAMA Pope is back on the scene and so there that!

Thanksgiving was good... small in numbers but good.  We had a bazillion sides but what else do you expect from Ethel's grandkids!?!?  And it is good to know that ALL black folks are hella extra with all of the sides!!  I don't know why I thought it was just us but when I saw all of the memes I was like OOOH OK!!!

a few days later...

I am currently sitting right but the lil space heater in the cold ass waiting room tryin to get my niece's car washed.  Across from me is a dude in skinny sweat pants.  WHY LORD do they make these?  I am so ready for the whole skinny jean phenomenon to be over.  Now what I need to be doing is working on my resume but I'm out here finishing my blog and looking at skinny sweatpants LOL

Ok resume updated and sent.  Now we wait.  Which is the part I hate.  I know I'm qualified but having to always prove my skills to others gets a bit nerve racking.  I'm not sure if I wrote about this but a few months ago I had a phone interview that I thought went well.  They told me they were going to pass which I was like oh mmkay... their loss. BUT THEN these mofos brought me in for an in person interview where I had to PAY for parking said the same thing I did on the phone.  I think it boiled down to money.  If you ask me how much I want and I tell you which is way outside of your budget then why don't you start with  how much you are willing to pay?  I have no problem saying no or trying to decide if I can work with the amount stated.  But what I don't accept is that I'm not qualified.   Hey I clearly gotta toot my own horn!!  LOL

I hope they have my car back there... I now have to go to the bathroom.  Oh we started with a hellified overshare so why not end with one?!?

repeat after me... WOOSAI!

I have already had a pretty interesting week and it's just Tuesday.  So yesterday I'm driving to my temp job and a suv is blocking the way.  It looks like he about to move but then he just doesn't so I roll my window down and say CAN YOU MOVE!!!  I have a little bit of attitude because I am on time and this fool is making me late.  He was kinda cute but though... He says 'Do you work here?' I say YES!!  And then as I roll my window up I'm saying to myself out loud 'why the fuck else would I be trying to park here!?!?!' The attitude escalated!!  Then I see all the police cars as I'm walking into the job and my co-workers looking out the windows and I'm like AAAHHH HELL!!!  What is REALLY going on here?!?!?  So I stroll in and sit down and they let me know that all the police are here because 42 is about to enter the building!!  Oh you know who President Bill Clinton!!!  And I get a little excited and giddy and think back to the fact that he is the 1st president I voted for when I turned 18 right off the good VSU campus.  But then the idea was quickly dashed of me meeting him because the motorcade and police escorts were already in place and they parked the plane the opposite direction of the building so no one even got to see him except for those few people that were supposed to.  So I started my day.  And about a 1/2 hour later waved to the car/limo that may or may not have had him!  So that was cool.  I can say I met him y'all wouldn't know!!!  And then the day just got busy.  I work in an hr department for an aviation company. A little girl (they're all little girls and boys to me) comes in to have unemployment paperwork completed even though this fool didn't even work a full 2 days!  In a nut shell she was supposed to start training, she had a death in the family; the company was willing to work with her and push out her start date, but according to the paperwork, she said they fired her; which they did not. They ignored her calls for the rest of the day (notice I said they... I aint have nothing to do with that!!) so the afternoon came and she stormed in the office and demanded to speak to the hr manager who didn't really know the circumstances but still proceeded to say you have wasted our time and money BUT we are STILL willing to work with you. This lil TRICK goes into a full meltdown tantrum!! She starts yelling, screaming and then crying AND THEN she throws he keys and phone on the floor and runs out.  We look at her stunned!! There was a male manager who went after her because all the women (there were 3 of us) looked at here like she was crazy and allowed the tantrum. So yadda yadda yadda (that means there is way more to the story, but you getting the quick and dirty) the police come take a report only after she calls the manager a bitch and says she is gonna sue her because she hurt her feelings.  The last time I checked, you can't sue some one for hurting your feelings!  I mean if that were the case I would have many suits pending both ones I filed and ones people filed against me.  That was just a bit much!  Also I am doing a pre-screening of applicants and one of the questions is 'Have you resided in the US for 5 years?' With people with noticeable accents they say yes I have and I move on... OH BUT not the dudes and dudettes born here.  RESIDE so like what that mean? No I haven't resided here.  Well what other countries have you lived?  Oh the USA. So you have lived here for the past 5 years?  OH YEAH!!!  Words mean things, but I didn't know the word RESIDE would trip up so many.  So now I say LIVED!!

And TODAY... I was in customer service hell.  One company I got transferred 5 times in about 5 minutes, so the last lil girl they transferred me to, I started laughing.  Well she didn't like that but I didn't give any fucks. IT. WAS. FUNNY. I still didn't get to the right department, I'll just try again tomorrow. AND then I ordered something wrong and attempted to correct my order, after several transfers they gave me someone who not only spoke English as a second language but he was also snippy! At one point I said WE CANNOT BOTH TALK AT THE SAME TIME AND I AM NOT FINISHED!!!! At the end of an absolute waste of time call this fool said 'can I place the order for you?'  I said Nope cause that's not what I need and I am tired of talking to you!!  He then goes into script mode with were you satisfied with the call?  Have I resolved your issue?  Yadda yadda yah.... I say NOPE... but you have a good night! He still kept talking and I hung the phone right on up!!  LASTLY this one manager who I guess doesn't realize his shit stinks like ALL of ours decides to let me know what needs to be done to complete an order he could have let me know hours before as I am closing down and putting on my coat I say OH yep, I will get right on that and leave!!! LIKE MUFUCCA I ASKED YOU HOURS AGO what was needed and I have had ENOUGH of you and you people in this lil ass office.  So it will wait until i remember to do it tomorrow!!  It's just Tuesday and the only reason why I'm not having a drink is cause I have been getting these horrible sinus headaches when I drink... Although I didn't this past weekend.

This past weekend, I helped celebrate one of my friend's 50 birthday.  I actually bartended Saturday, but the sangria made (I didn't make it) Friday (oh it was an EVENT!!!) didn't cause any headache pain so I was hella happy.  SOOooo... Ima talk about the party even though he might be one of my readers?!?!?  Iono not really anything bad, but black folks, we can be so extra sometimes for no GOOD reason. And I know at events like this you have your folks who drink and those who don't.  But ma'am sir EVERYTHING right in front of me has likka, so if you wan't non alcoholic, go over there to the water and tea.  YES that is the only thing with no likka!  Yes the sangria has wine!  UH YES the light stuff has sparkling wine AND coconut rum.  YES!!!! The martini has vodka... which is likka.  Oh you wanted NO LIKKA... YES the water and tea is right there!!  Yes coconut rum means alcohol!!  Oh you want a taste?!?!  You know this has alcohol right?!?!?  OH IT'S GOOD?!?!?  OF COURSE IT IS!!!! I MADE IT!!!!  It actually was a fun night and my friend had a blast!!  He worked a whole lot for his own birthday AND they didn't cut the cake but it was a really nice event!!

And onto the roommate aka Barb who has been living in an assisted living for a while now.  I go in there most days my girl is sleep and/or sleepy.  But some days I get very lucid very informed conversation.  So one of these lucid days she says, 'Do you have a boyfriend?' I am hella shocked because even though we did used to talk about boys and men back in the day, the past 5-7 years not so much.  I say NO!!  And then she says 'Well you need one so he can take you to dinner!!' I say yes mom you're so right cause I do like to eat LOL  She be knowing!! so I guess I need to get myself out there so I can be found!!

who can I run to?

I'm sitting here in my office in my free green shirt I got from 'Be the Match' and my Kermit bottoms.  Not sure why that is important but what is important is I'm starting my job search again and it is a bit daunting.  I'm on LinkedIn now and looking at some previous co-workers who have moved up in the ranks.  I always wonder if I stayed if I too would have been given the opportunity to move up.  I left one company because I knew there was no other choice as I sat in a room after having gotten yet another manager (I went through 3 in 1 year) and for them to ring the praises of a young white male co-worker.  Basically he could do whatever he wanted in the company.  I along with another black female coworker looked at each other like well what about us?  I can't remember if she was pregnant at the time, which shouldn't matter because women can do it all, right? I sat there frustrated and sad thinking they really don't care about me AT ALL. And then a follow-up meeting with yet another manager because then they merged teams, proceeded to tell me how unready I was for a course the company offered and that maybe I should rethink some things.  I called a co-worker/friend and told her I had to get outta here!!!  Which I did.  So when I presented my resignation to the manager, she acted like I stabbed her in the back when she was the one who thwarted my advancement.  Should I have stayed and let them remind me again and again that I was unready? I wonder... This is the same company that when I was trying to go from temp to permanent  having gone to HR to see what else I needed to do was told I was too aggressive and had an attitude. I think it was best to leave there. So ok onto the new company where everything is shiny and new.  I applied for a senior position maybe 2 years later and again was told I wasn't ready EVEN THOUGH they gave it to someone a few years later that I trained; a white male.  I'm not trying to make this a racial post but it is curious how things are afforded to others that are not me when I am more than qualified.  At one point I was just trying to get out of my current department and was applying for EVERYTHING and nothing worked.  I had an interview with someone who literally made me hold in the tears until I got to the bathroom because this fool didn't bother to look at my resume and even though my degree is in marketing said I really didn't know anything about marketing and he wasn't sure why he was even interviewing me.  WHEW the things I have endured.  I gave that job almost 5 years of my life and who knows maybe I should have stayed there but my spirit knew that nothing good was going to come out of that.  But maybe just maybe I should be resigned to be miserable and just make the money?  There are very few people who I know personally who actually love their job.  My mom is 1 of a very few people.  She loved teaching.  She got excited about how she was going to do things differently for a new batch of kids.  She tried to get me excited about map skills, which I was not BUT I can read a map before GPS was even around so there's that!! I'm lacking a passion for doing something, ANYTHING!  And now at 43, I think I might actually have to start over.  It's both irritating and exhilarating.  I recently read an article about a woman who took a coding course I think she was in her 50's.  I don't have a problem with learning something new... So what the heck is my problem?  I have a friend who is taking a typing class because he really can't type well.  I need to do something and it probably needs to be sooner than later.

I've always said I wanted to work at a small to medium sized company yet I have ended up at these large companies where I am literally a  number to them.  How do you even grow in companies like that? I'm contemplating writing to someone who I had a bs interview with last week. I know it's inappropriate, but I already don't have the job so what harm could it do?  Even though I am disappointed in her for not hiring me, I'm more disappointed in myself for not saying that one right thing but who the hell knows what that is?!  Let me click off her page before I do something dumb. In fact, let me get outta LinkedIn for now because it's driving me crazy.

What I need to do I go take a nice shower and call about my car.  Oh yeah I was in an accident a few weeks ago which is a whole other blog I need to write but probably won't because it angers me to think about it.  Then I need to do inventory of my jewelry, yep I sell jewelry.  And then go look at my mom who may or may not be sleep and may or may not want to talk to me today. AND eat!!  I definitely need to eat!!

this feels like summer...

I'm in a group on the Facebook and the question was posed, would you rather give up your phone (meaning cell phone I assumed) or sex for a year.  Without much thought or hesitation I said MY PHONE!!  Now this doesn't mean I am sex crazed, but I know for sure I can stand to be a little less connected.  I remember back when all you had was a house phone and you had to either be home to get (or make) a call or you just missed it.  There was no voice mail, no answering machine, no caller id NONE of that.  Now it's like every ding the phone makes I jump, WE all jump because that is the nature of how things are now.  You have the regular phone on your phone where you can make calls, get voicemail and receive texts, but then in addition you can get emails from ALL of your email accounts, Facebook, twitter, snapchat, instagram, google hangout, tumblr, you can shop on Amazon, QVC, HSN, Wayfair, you can get all the music you need from Spotify, Pandora, SoundCloud, you can also look at all of your bank statements and then if you are bored you can play all the games you want to play because surely you don't have enough occupying your time with all of the above ... AND it's just too much!! When you are by yourself you're on your phone. When you are with friends STILL on your phone because you want to know what other people are saying and doing and/or showing them what you are doing.  No one is living in the moment and enjoying right now because they are too busy trying to capture it to look at in a future that will never come.  I have several friends (so no one person will get offended LOL) that can not bear to step away for any long period of time. So yeah I'll take sex! I've never had anyone check a message in the throws of passion.  I can wait to get home to use the house phone and get on my computer.  I clicked on a video of SZA at AfroPunk New York on YouTube and all you saw were a sea of phones in the air. I didn't even end up watching the video but someone in the comments said PUT THE PHONES DOWN!! Which I hopped on a and had a few comments myself.  There are still a few artists who insist that you put down your phone.  I was there when Lalah Hathaway refused to keep going until someone put their phone down.  It's just such a distraction and I think we need a lil apocalypse so we can get back to enjoying each other.  There was a TV show a few years back called Revolution, electricity stopped and people had to move on and figure out the best way to live their lives without it.  The show was rather interesting I mean it got a little ridiculous as most sci-fi show tend to get after a while but I really loved the premise.  I just goggled it, it only had 2 seasons, but they were long ass seasons. Anyway I digress as I tend to do... Give me all the secks!!!

As summer is surely coming to a close I have almost completed (well like 95%) one of my summer project which was to paint all the metal outside of my house.  I got the front and back railing, the front lamp post (which I still don't think has electricity to it and MAYBE it is a flag pole after all??), and the back swing set which i will use to hang pretty stuff I get from QVC from.  I still need to do the flower bed or maybe it was a bird bath, and the cellar door.  I might go back to Ace and get a fun color because I did all of the above in flat black, which I coulda sworn I got glossy black, but it is way to late for me to go back now.  It looks good!!  And it makes me feel proud to be a home owner. My creepy neighbor who's work hours I do not want to learn has seen me in the front and in the back painting.  He comes over and chats, asks about my mom and it's all good.  The one time though he comes over and says 'Why didn't you have me paint all of this?' And I look at him like WHET?!?!  Umm... Cause I can paint!  most of the stuff around here I can do.  The he says 'Well you know I do houses and stuff so you should get me to help you'. UHHH NO!!!  This is the one who's wife JUST started speaking to me.  I mean most of my neighbors it's just a hi/bye kinda thing.  Every once in a while they come over and chat for a minute, but nothing heavy duty. When he 1st moved in he wanted to mow my lawn, he saw I was struggling and I appreciated the offer but NO!  At that point I wasn't sure if the woman was the girlfriend or wife or WHAT, so yeah, NO... NOW he wants my lawn guy to mow his lawn and my lawn dude was like NO!  I don't think he cares for him.  My lawn dude is retired and does what he wants.  So back to the convo we were having after he's telling me how he can do all this stuff that I didn't ask him to do.  So then he says' Oh you one of those independent women?' And I stop what I'm doing and say WELL YES I AM!! Now here's thing, I am independent out of necessity. I don't have a man or husband and sure, I could pay someone to do whatever needs to get done, but I don't have any extra money for that, and I actually enjoy doing the things I can do around MY house.  It was said as an insult like HOW DARE YOU BE INDEPENDENT!!!  I have a plan for the house this year and it was painting the metal, and the concrete and washing the front porch (with the cleaner I got on the HSN LOL). What it didn't include was answering to some man that pays not one single bill in this house and who is way to uncute to offer anything else to me.  So yeah, I'm independent!!  I know what I need to do and when I need to do it.  I've been stock piling supplies since the beginning of summer so nope don't ask about the shed because that wasn't in the plan for this year and no I don't want your extra random paint you have from whatever job you were on.  I'm good!  I try to be nice but I really want to say just leave me alone!! So I still have a few more things to do and hopefully they will get done before it gets too cold.

As a bartender I work at a club in Baltimore and so many events have soooo many white men!  It just bothers me so much.  Like you guys couldn't have 1 diversity hire?  This event was a real estate company and the one young lady who was white was an intern, so she was getting drinks for the men.  There was a woman who was 'other', she wasn't black and I couldn't get a good enough look at her to figure out what she was, but I think she was the admin.  there was this other event where the man was quite proud of his company only doing business by word of mouth.  And that is the big problem.  You deal with people you know who usually look like you so you don't even think to include folks who don't look like you which is why it's so hard for black films to get green lit in and when they do they hold the weight of the entire black community on them because they just HAVE to do well or else nothing else will get green lit!  I just scoured NBC and CBS to see what new shows are on.  So far Marlon is the only full 'black' show but they also just canceled Carmichael on NBC so is that a true win? ABC has the most diverse show thanks to Shonda.  I didn't mean to get into entertainment but you can see it better there.  I worked in an office in downtown Baltimore where the only black folks were admins or custodial and there were like 2 in upper management, but that place didn't even interview me even though they told me to apply so I knew there was some fracken nackle going on there!! 

I got up to go eat and completely lost my train of thought!!

CUBA!!

This year the girls trip (well my onliest trip because the chick is financially modest) was to Cuba!! It wasn't last minute, but the plans were not as far enough in advance as I usually like to make them.  It ended being a WONDERFUL trip and if you get the chance, go sooner than later.  We don't know what the political climate will be so just go now is my advice.
Now I started this blog soon after I came home... and that was as far as I got.  Then I got a dumb lil temp job where they actually expect me to work (imagine that!?) so I haven't been able to write on the sly. So here goes...
Normally when I plan things it is months AND months in advance.  This one was like well let's look up some Air BnB's and let's get a ticket! Our lodging was good but in retrospect I would have like to have done a little more research and maybe stay a little closer to either Old Havana or the beach. (this is Tip #2 even though it comes first in the blog... Do your research so that you get what you want) Both I know would have cost more money but our house was quaint and int he middle of a regular neighborhood.  Wait I gotta back up...
The day before we leave my 2 girlfriends from college come and stay with me becasue the tickets from Baltimore were more reasonable than from where they lived.  They came... we at cupcakes drank wine and took our asses to sleep.  The next day we get up go to the airport ready to go to Cuba!! Southwest flies a whole lotta places, but for this particular flight it was a connection through Ft Lauderdale.  As a seasoned traveler I know that you need to look presentable.  For Southwest you really aren't gonna get an upgrade but what you should NOT do is roll to the airport with your gold, leopard print, any color bonnet or scarf and pajamas and then proceed to pat your weave cause NO!! We looking at these chicks, OH because it was about 6 of these heifers not just one, like what in ALL THEE HELL!!!???  And then I get instantly embarrassed like WHY they gotta be black LAWD WHY?!?!?!? A few got on before us and then the rest I guess got on after.  But they just looked hella dumb and we need to do better!! Get to Ft. Lauderdale, change planes for the quick trip to Cuba.  Fill out all the paperwork and be ready to say EDUCATIONAL because that is all you have to say. Why are you going?  Oh for educational purposes!! One of us said well what about people to people?  WE GONNA GET EDUCATED!!! Get off the plane onto the tarmac because that is how alot of places do it. It is HOT... like for REAL HOT!!!  Get into the airport and someone forgot to pay the electric bill because there is NO A/C.  And then we look around to see all the chicas in short skirts with pantyhose or tights.  BABAY... no ma'am!!  I got hot looking at them! The chicos (ok well the one I was fixated on) all seemed to be in tight assed khaki's.  We get our luggage which is always an event because people nowhere understand the concept of a revolving belt.  You see your stuff, TRUST me it's gonna come back around!! But then they had our stuff split up so some came on belt 1 and the rest on belt 2.  At this point we are ret to go and need to exchange money and say to the guard WE NEED TO EXCHANGE MONEY! I haven't started speaking my mangled Spanglish just yet, but he knew what we needed, but instead of pointing us in the right direction he was being an ass and put us out.  SO we have all this American money that they don't want.  Then there is a sea of people and they had my name spelled all kinds of wrong for a pick up.  The guy who picked us up was our driver dude for the rest of the time there.  He had to go get his car.  I sit my butt on a ledge and just people watch. I'm sitting near an older couple, the man I guess went to get the car and the abuela sits there and waits. She gave just about zero fucks about her cart blocking the way.  One man attempted to push her stuff to the side and she went clean off!  He then walked around and she continued her tirade in Spanish TO ME!!  I'm sitting there only catching every 6th word saying Si and nodding my head!  I even threw in a few hand gestures like HOW DARE HE!!! LOL At this point I'm like I really should have brushed up on my Spanish because this is atrocious. Senora Rodriguez, Senor Fabus and Dr. Kishakavictch (my Spanish teachers who have passed away) were all looking down on me like REALLY GIRL, we taught you better!!  Our dude finally comes and it this little car that he lets us know is Russian.  This lil car has no a/c and Cuba has NO emissions so we got lots of smells in the car.  We get to the house and meet our house dude, BOTH are as cute as can be!! Tired and hungry and with american money we get bamboozled a bit... Tip #1 Exchange your money as soon as you can because even though it's 1:1 they really don't like American money and they charge you more if you try to use US dollars.  Our driver dude took us to this restaurant which was good but not $95 worth... It was pasta, but we all had a few drinks so that made it add up as well.  The next day we get CUCs which is Cuban convertible pesos.  There were Cuban pesos but I never did understand what they were.  We did Old Havana which is a maze of streets and shops and vendors with incredible art and courtyards along the way.  The first stop was to try to get some wifi to let our families know we made it safe. We learned that we had to buy cards and then go to the wifi park to use for internet. Oh wait but before that we walked and shopped and and sweated  and went to the bar that Ernest Hemingway wrote at and got a Cuban sandwich (a real one IN CUBA) and daiquiris and listened to the band play.  This is a stop the cruise ship makes so a load of folks came in.  This was definitely a tourist trap but it was still pretty cool.  We stood in line to get the wifi cards and just like in most other Caribbean countries no one is in any major rush to do anything.  What should have taken 10 maybe fifteen minutes ended up being a good hour if not more.  But we meet other Americans and its all good.  We walk some more and I get more tired. So then I'm like NO MAS!!!  I need to sit down somewhere!  Our driver finds the car scoops us up and we go to some little restaurant.  The food here was a lot more reasonable and really good.  We then go to the wifi (pronounced weefee) park which is an actual park outside where folks sit and get the internet.  I'm guessing it is easier to put towers in these locations for people in the neighborhoods.  Everyone has to buy the little cards.  it was 1.50 CUC for an hour which wasn't bad! Later that night we walked to a neighborhood café and OMG when I tell you we had a ton of food for 15 bucks!!  AND it was so good!!!  Now this was what I was waiting for, good, cheap, local food!  And I'm not a huge beer drinker but that thing was so cold and crisp!!
Day 2 - The BEACH!!  Even though Cuba is an island and Havana is on the coast, we still had to drive about a half an hour to get to a nice beach.  The beach was amazing and I got (we well all did) got a nice deep dark tan LOL Later that night we went to a local pizza shop (ok everything is local and mom and pop run).  Come to think of it, there were no chains.  I know the infrastructure will change over the years to come, but right now you just take it as it is and enjoy all the local flair. 
Day 3 - We went to shop some more, but today's quest was cigars.  We bought a few souvenirs which I have yet to give out.  And then we got cigars! And that is all you need to know about that because some things need to stay right in Cuba where it all happened!!! HOOTIE HOO!!!
Day 4 - Travel back home day... **loud sigh**
this was a very relaxing and fun vacation and inexpensive.  Everyone pretty much knows I have 50eleven jobs and a few questioned how I could afford it. BECAUSE I GOT 50ELEVEN JOBS!!!  LOL  No really it wasn't a fancy expensive trip!  I'm sure we could have done the resort route, but I actually really like the Air BnB and the no fuss of it all.  Our house dude cooked breakfast for us every morning.  Our driver dude took us everywhere we needed to go.
OH I FORGOT THE CLUB!!!  We went to da club!! This is really not my thing EXCEPT for on vacation, I can hang!!  This club seemed to attract a lot of travelers.  We sat near a table of guys from Germany (wait was it Germany?). One little guy from NYC I stood behind in line at the bar.  He had no aggression in him and I knew he was not FROM NYC but merely lived there because the ultra loud chick from Boston was like YOU GOTTA JUST GET YOUR DRINK!! Even I tended to be on the nice side until 3 or 4 fools hopped in front me and I was OH HELL NO!!! So I stepped in front of him ordered my drinks and his cause he was taking too damn long! Was that when I broke a glass?  Hmmm... At one point I did just that but the bartender who I guess thought I wasn't drunk enough poured even more rum into the next glass.  That was a fun night.  There were performers and several bands.  The music was great! 
Tip #3 Even if you brush up on your Spanish, the dialect there is different from anything I've heard.  They drop letters like crazy so good luck.  My friend who spoke French (well that's what she took in high school LOL none of us speak anything but English) actually understood and was understood better than me sometimes.  People were very honest also.  We made a pit stop to get ice cream and it was at a gas station.  The woman said 4.50 I think.  I said repete por favor and she just motioned for me to open my hand up with money and she took the correct amount.  She coulda robbed me blind LOL Cuban people were very hospitable. 
And that was about it! 

and that's when my sensitivity gets in the way!

This has been an interesting 2 weeks and on the cusp of my cycle my emotionality didn't help So where shall we start!?!? 

I wrote this last Friday...

Yesterday was absolutely blog worthy!  So Wed I went out and 'drove' for about an hour and got NOTHING.  So I wasted both my time and gas.  Then I get a ping from Lyft that said complete 8 rides between 6-10 on Thursday and Friday and you get a bonus.  BET!!  I'm all about the bonuses.  I set my clock and get my arse up. 1st ride she was just going to work and she was only a few minutes late (not my fault... just FYI).  2nd ride... We only have to give to person 5 minutes to come out and get in the car and then we can cancel. After 2 minutes the app nudges you to call the person.  The rider girl calls me and says she'll be down in 2 minutes.  OK no problem.  3 minutes pass and she calls back and says I'm so sorry I'm coming down the stairs, my son has autism.  What you won't do is blame the baby. Well I can't freaking leave now because the child has to get to his child care place. She steps out of the house platinum blond with THE EYELASHES!  Oh you know the ones where it looks like 2 caterpillars crawled on their face to live out their lives!!  The little boy gets in and is playing Dory on his lil ipad.  But I already know he has special needs so when it plays the same line 20 times in a row I just take it because, right now this aint about me and this comforts him.  We then need to stop at the 7/11 for her to get cream for her coffee and she leaves the lil boy in the car with me.  I guess I look like a nice person.  I mean I AM... but I'm not sure if I would have done that with a complete stranger.  She comes out finally gives him his green soda which is what he asked for. I need to pause right here... SO there are 2 dudes panhandling in front of the 7/11 even with the no loitering signs hanging right there.  I turned off my headlights because like I just said, I'm a nice person so I'm trying to not blind the man.  the one guy passes the other guy the blunt and he proceeds to smoke, right there... YES RIGHT THERE!!!  IN FRONT OF THE 7/11 AND MORE IMPORTANTLY IN FRONT OF ME!!! So like when did it become ok to just smoke weed all out in the open?!?! In the not to distant past people tried to be discreet about their smokation.  Now it's like a regular cigarette.  I mean i guess it's ok?!?  It's legal for the most part, right??  I just kinda don't want to see it.  Back to rider 2... We get to his child car place and WHY does the baby have on flip flops on this rainy day?  Now as I'm thinking about it now kids can just be kids and that may have been what he wanted to wear.  I now have to go to the bathroom so in my head I'm like let me get this chick to her job and I can run to a fast food place.  We started at MLK and Franklin, now we are on Liberty Heights, and her job is WAAAAAAAY out in Owings Mills!!  I'm driving and the onliest thing on my mind is I HAVE TO PEE!! We get on 695 the 795... I still really REALLY have to pee. OMG can I make it?!?!  Yes girl you can (this is my internal dialog because it is getting SERIOUS!!). I make the turn onto Red Run and she asks me if I could stop at the Royal Farm which is past her job.  I inhale... think for a second if I should hop out with her.  Wait do they even have a public bathroom here cause if I get out and they say no, I am going to have a PROBLEM!! Finally drop her off!!  And the only reason I didn't follow her into her job is the whole badge thing.  So i'm fussing at myself WELL SHIT I shoulda went to the RoFo!! Can I make it to the Wendy's?!?!  Is Wendy's Even open?!?!  Maybe I can go to my cousin's house?  Aww hell no!! I only have 1 of 2 keys needed and they might not be home.  THE HOTELS!!  Yes I can stop at the Hampton Inn and LORD PLEASE don't let it be a 'you need a key' situation because i don't feel like arguing with the front desk peoples!!!  I stop right at the front like I'm checking in and park. There is no time to be finding a parking space!!  No one was at the front desk THANK YOU LBJ!!  Head to the ladies room that did NOT require a key and WHEW!!!! Left feeling like a million bucks!!  As I'm leaving, still no one at the front desk I say to myself CHICK fix you a cuppa coffee because #free!!  I stopped short of taking the lil bags they have with the breakfast in them for folks in a rush.  Coffee is GOOD!!! ok where to next.  Actually she took up so much time and energy I forget rides #3 and #4.  At one point I come home, cook, eat, take a nap and then go back out.  One spot that has been working really well is the bus station which is right next to the Horse Shoe Casino.  I pick up a young lady from the casino and she lives 5 minutes away in south Baltimore.  OK so **big ass disclaimer** (LOL) I have been in Baltimore for over 20 years.  I have made a nice life for myself even though I will never claim to be from Baltimore, I still love this city! Clearly I do.  I have been complaining about driving in East Baltimore for the sheer fact that it's EAST and away from my house.  I can get found over East.  the streets mirror the West.  So if I'm on East Lombard, I can figure out how to get to West Lombard.  BUT BABAY!!! When I tell you I got myself GOOT and lost in South Baltimore!!!  Believe it!!  So what I should have done is followed my tracks to dropping off the casino chick and I would have been fine.  But NO I knew there was a Long John Silver(man) near and I wanted some fish.  But then I couldn't figure out how to get back on the beltway. For whatever reason there are several union buildings... like Electricians union and Boilermaker union and i think painters union in that area.  I was in one of their parking lots, ate and decided to make a right and then a I made a left drove a little nooo wait i think the beltway is the other way so let me try that way.  Well I get pinged for a ride.  OK well maybe this person will get me out of this area.  NOPE she just went to the Brooklyn area which is STILL SOUTH Baltimore and then said this is the place you see on the news.  UMM not helpful ma'am!!  I get back on Pataspco and then make a right JESUS!!! the beltway in under me HOW do I get there!?!?!  This is like in Pittsburgh when you take the wrong exit and end up on the Westside, OR Southside OR God forbid the NORTH SIDE (nothings wrong with the northside so CALM down Pittsburghers!!)  See this is the OPPOSITE for me in Pittsburgh, I'm from the East Side... Homewood, Point Breeze, Penn Hills so getting stuck ANYWHERE else makes me fret. I now see the TOLL ONLY/CASH ONLY exit for 895 and I honestly have never taken this road so I have no idea where I will end up, also I don't have a toll thingy nor do I have cash so I'm SOL.  WHERE IS 695, or 95 OR 295??!?!? Finally I'm driving and I see a sign the says SOUTH about the size of my phone so of course I pass it.  I do some ridiculous U turn and get on the SOUTH not really sure where it is going to take me.  It turns out to be SOUTH 295 away from city but I'm tired, and you know I have to pee again so I just stay on it and take my booty HOME!! This also reminded me of the movie Quick Change with Bill Murray, Randy Quaid, and Gina Davis.  They rob a bank and basically try to get out of the city and just get lost.  The construction dudes were taking down the signs and there were other construction dudes to put up signs the next day. This was ME!! I am still traumatized!!! 

I feel like Carrie and Craig in no particular order... Carrie got broke up with via a post it and Craig got fired on his day off.  ME oh I just get let go via text LOL It's funny now... but not really cause my hustle game is tight and I need to work ALL of my other 50eleven jobs.  But you know me.. when life hands me lemons, I go on vacation!!! So I'm off to Cuba because I can!! I'm sure I will have many adventures there!

I don't want to put my sister on complete blast (even though I kinda am LOL) but you remember stalker dude who is the reason why I stopped going to the Weis market for a good while... well ummm let's just say she met him too... and uuhh... it ended quickly for her as well because dude is a total jerk. And yeah it's a small world after all!!!  LOL

Oh my my, Oh my... SHE FLY!!

I need to just dump today!  So much on mu mind good, stuff, bad stuff, stuff I can change, and shit I can't.


DRIVING
Last week I pick up a little boy and take him near Edmonson Village. He was in the back listening to music and I guess just checking texts or whatever on the phone.  Then I hear snoring!!  My dude was tired which I so understand because I can get that tired myself. So as we get close to the address I am asking for confirmation and he is just knocked out!  I picked him up at Wendy's and I know those fast food places can really work you.  He is going to the Dollar General and I was prying he wasn't going to work more, but he was meeting his wife and then I had to get a better look at him.  He was young but I guess 20 year olds can have wives.  So anyway that was it.  I pick another little boy and this fool says something about people being older in there 40's and I'm like WAIT I'M OLDER CUASE IM IN MY 40's?!?!?  And then the convo turned to sex... UH what I won't do is discuss sex with YOU baby!! OH is that right you had someone who was 47!??!  That's nice.. Where do you work?  OH really she thought you were really good for a young dude.  (in my mind probably not but whatever you say!!) SO... you been working there How long?!?! OH yeah... blah blah blah... And then I turn around and get a real good look at him.  And I'm like YOU ARE WAY TO YOUNG AND UNCUTE FOR ME LIL BOY!!!  Have a nice day!! **LONG SIGH**


WORK
I have 50eleven jobs we all know that, but the main 9-5 is a place that has some of the nicest people.  I mean EVERYONE speaks which is such a departure from other places.  I can say HELLO and look directly at them in the face and they look beyond me to speak to the person they know... This is at the other place.  Here folks will wave you down to make sure you know they were speaking to you which is kinda nice.  But there is this one woman who looks like a monchichi... They were those little monkey like toys back in the day (the 80's oh what a wonderful time to grow up!!).  I think it's her little forehead that makes me think this.  And then there is the woman who let me know she didn't vote.  NOW what you won't do is constantly complain.  I would have had more respect for her if she said she vote for the orange turd.  But I take my civic responsibility VERY seriously and I have no time for her and people like her!! There are high cube walls here and it's very petty how some of the offices are arranged.  Like I am right by the window by I still have to get up and look around to dee outside.  But I'm really not complaining.  My short ass attention span I would truly be watching the birds and squirrels and people coming and going AND EVERYTHING ELSE!!!.  OK someone has chick-fil-A and now that's what I want... but I know that line is hella long.  ALSO I have to keep reminding myself that today is Thursday because it feels like a Friday and I'm inclined to not come in tomorrow LOL and I need my lil coins!!  I
 am gonna head to RoFo... I need some chicken now!!


TV
American Gods - I'm glad I gave it a chance and even GLADDER I found a dude on the YouTube (Mike B) who breaks down every episode cause a chick be lost as hell!! And people in the comments add good stuff to also.  I was like OH old gods and new gods!!And then Orlando Jones... well no all of the cast is really good!! If you like sci-fi and/or fantasy and/or mythology AND religions then this is the show for you.
Downward Dog -any show based in Pittsburgh or Baltimore I am gonna watch!!  This one is based in Pittsburgh and the dog talks like he is really going throw a lot with the relationship between him and his human.  It is a cute show.  I hope it lasts
Sneaky Pete- This is on Amazon. When this fool decided to go to grandma and grandpa's house and say HEY IT'S ME PETE!!  I just about lost it I laughed so hard.  His name is Marius but has assumed the identity of his old cellmate Pete so he wouldn't get killed.  I should already be done but I am not a good binger LOL


FOOD
I am so annoyed right now.  I go to ROFO in the hopes of getting fried chicken wrap.  WHY is this so hard?  Either I order a grilled chicken wrap and tell you I want fried or order the fried chicken sub and tell you I want a wrap.  NOT ROCKET SCIENCE RIGHT?!?! Oh you would be wrong!!  So the little guy standing there is like no well we don't have that, BUT can you just make it anyway sir? Tell me how you want me to order it and I will.  So after a few minutes he says well just order the chicken sub and I'll make it a wrap.  COOL!! I do.. well the picture of the sub has lettuce and tomato so WHY would I think I needed to add that to my order? I get in the car take a bite NO TOMATO OR LETTUCE!!!  Now do I be petty... WELL YES LET'S BE PETTY.  I march in and ask for lettuce and tomato because you forgot to put it on my wrap.  Well it don't come like that.  BUT the picture has it so why would I think different? Well I can just remake it. NO I already took a bit just give me the lettuce and tomato.  So you just want the lettuce and tomato!??! YES JUST HAND ME SOME LETTUCE AND TOMATO BEFORE YOU START MAKING THE NEXT SANDWHICH!!!  LOL actually though it is pretty good now!! I know I startled him, but oh well!!
I went to the grocery store and actually had food every day last week.  This week I didn't do so well.  I did well with breakfast which was a breakfast quesadilla, but not lunch.  I'll strive to do better next week!!
While we're on the subject of lunch.  I am not an eat-at-my-desk kinda chick.  I think I do more now because I want to leave but for the most part I take a 20-30 minute break and eat somewhere other than my desk.  The woman that sits next to me eats at her desk everyday.  Now this wouldn't be a problem if she didn't crack open a can of tuna at least 2-3 times a week.  I have never been a tuna chick.  It smells bad and the flavor of canned tuna never sat well with me.  I will eat it, but it's not my favorite.  This fool opens a can eat a few bites, covers it with a paper towel and then proceeds to go to a meeting.  WAIT WTF just happened.  You crack the tuna seal let the stink permeate the air and then leave?!?!? No ma'am NO MA'AM!!  So when she gets back I says to her...uhhh... do you have some Tupperware? Then she says OH was it smelly?!?!  YES IT WAS  But I covered it... IT WAS TUNA, IT STILL STANK!!! Oh sorry.. YEAH DON'T DO THAT SHIT NO MORE (I didn't say that but I wanted to LOL).  She got the picture cause she hasn't brought it in no more this week

listening to a dumbass convo...

I don't know why it stuns me that little girls smoke weed.  Last night I drove 3 little girls who were suburban hood chicks.  They lived in Randallstown but they hang out  in the Village which is where I picked them up.  Well really what had happened is whatever dude they were hanging with drove them to the spot I was waiting.  Now me being me said... Why couldn't he have just drove you home?!?!  But after the exchange they had with him which at first I thought was innocent but turned into a fuck you battle (LOL) I knew why! Their mouths were terrible everything was fuck, bitch and nigga!  As a kid (well hell even now) I may have a potty mouth away from people.  Like in the car by myself you are a everything under the sun if you cut me off, but I don't speak like a sailor except well ON HERE and with my friends.  It's just not lady like and we all know I'm a fucking lady!! The last thing the 1 lil girl said to the guy was you better roll 5 fucking blunts for me when I get back.  I'm sitting there like REALLY!?!?!  And they all smelled like weed.  The conversation went from kids which I think only 2 of the 3 had kids and how some chick was ugly and her baby father was ugly so she might as well have got rid of the baby because they both ugly, to how the one was gonna wait until her boyfriend got out (of jail) before she even get pregnant (because that makes sense!) and OMG I want bad ass boys cause dats REAL cute ( wait WHAT!?!?) and someone finessed some dude (still not sure what that meant unless they just meant flirt? or chile I don't know) and then how some other dude was BROKE so why would they wanna have a baby with him and he ugly OH and fat bitches is nasty cause that's what my mother said and then at one point the 1 lil girl said cause he go to my church!  I know Jesus accepts us all even lil girls who have potty mouths, but I almost wrecked when she said that!!! So they needed to go to Petco, get weed, and pick up one of the lil girls babies, but not necessarily in that order.  I dropped them off and rolled ALL the windows down to air out my lil car.  I then spray and WHY did I do that cause the next lil girl who got in AGAIN smelled like weed!!!  Maybe because I don't smoke and since I have no visions of political anything (not that that matters anymore?), I can admit that I did inhale, but that 1st time I threw up for a good 20 minutes (all the chocolate that me and the chicks from 509 were eating... it was like a chocolate egg or something?!?!)  and the next time I just didn't like it.  It's just not my thing, but I really don't knock those that do, but it seems to be really mainstream, like EVERYONE does it but me! People used to do it in private, but now drive anywhere or walk anywhere (which was the case a few weeks ago when a random white guy and random black woman sat on a bench and puff puff passed as I walked by) and you just see it!! Anyway this lil girl was I thought going downtown but I ended up over east which that is a whole nuther thing I try to avoid while doing my good Lyft driving.  Nothing is wrong with the east side of Baltimore, but I live WEST and going east means a whole new world!  Thankfully it was only a block from Northeast Market which is a few blocks up from Hopkins so I didn't get completely lost.  While we passed Hopkins she said I dream of going to Hopkins one day and I swelled with pride like this was my alma mater And I was like OH are you in high school? she said no I'm in college... well community college.  I said well the community college system is really good so that is great!  I am still trying to understand the difference between these 2 sets of young ladies.  The 1st 3 had no other expectation than to be with a guy (or several guys) who may or may not go to jail and have babies! I gathered they graduated from Randallstown but that was it.  There was no drive no fire to aspire to anything more.  The next lil girl at very least had a desire to complete her education which I think opens your eyes to want to do more.  I knew what was expected of me.  Now I'm not saying I didn't make mistake and still trying to refine my path, but I understood I needed to go to church, participate, go to school, LEARN, and go to college... graduate (oh and not cut my hair but that's another conversation for another day LOL).  And I did all of the above!! How to you expect your child to succeed if they have no idea what they are supposed to do next?  They aren't supposed to figure it out. YOU as a parent need to set parameters.  Now I have all this great advice and alls I got a cat... but tell me where is the lie? Maybe that doesn't work for all kids and some don't need as strict a path. I prayed for all of those young ladies because I felt a little sad for them not knowing there was more to the world. So yeah.. it is still weighing heavy on my mind.


I worked a prom last week which I wrote about.  So several of the people I work with do not have cars.  One night I worked with a guy who waited until the exact moment I was walking out of the door to ask for a ride. He lived right up the street from me, but I had had ENOUGH of him so I really didn't feel like extra company.  And I wonder what exactly he would have done if I said no. One of the servers said he takes the bus which takes about an hour and a 1/2 and I asked him if he ever took an Uber of Lyft and this fool said out of his gold buck toothed teeth that he don't like getting in peoples cars.  Wait... so you get on a nasty who know WHO been on a public bus and travel all the way from Essex, but you won't get in someone's car cause you don't know them or what ever the hell reason you have?!?! Now I understand doing rideshare can be cost prohibitive.  I get it you want to pay $3 (or however much the bus costs) versus $25.  I drew a blank and just stared at him like OH ok.. Well I'm not going that way soooo... GOOD LUCK!!  I was so dog tired after I left there I wasn't taking no one nowhere, even the one guy who is kinda nice but I can only understand every 5th word because English is not his strong suit.  I'm taking this weekend (and probably next week too) off cause I am just tired.  My body does not appreciate all that I'm putting her through and then I have the nerve to not feed her well.  SO yeah it's somewhat of a revolt right now.  I'm off and I know it.  I kinda know what I need to do to get back on track but it's not as clear as it was as back in 2013 when I just KNEW!  I'm just running around doing a whole lot of everything and nothing all at the same time. And then... **YAWN**


There are several home projects I need to do and I'm not sure why I thought I could just pay someone to do them all since I am in a financial uuuhhh..... I am financially modest right now!!!  Better than saying broke, right? I have a girlfriend who just mulched and laid pavers!!!  SO now I think I can do anything!! I need to sledge hammer the concrete in the back and put some pavers down myself.  I can do it, because WHY NOT?!?! If I had a (sledge) hammer!!  LOL I just bought masonry paint for the pillars in the front of my house.  Now I only bought 1 gallon but somehow I think it will be enough.  I just watched a you tube where the guy measured and I was like WHO DOES THAT?!?!  I aint got time to measure and calculate shit! I just BUY PAINT!!! I need some black paint for the metal surfaces I have and I need to hit up an Ace and nope I didn't measure but a gallon will do it!! My lil hood adjacent house might actually look a lil cute this year. 

...what I'm posed to do now?

why are the FAQ never NEVER the questions I need answered?  Who are the people that come up with these questions?




Why do I have to 'talk' to the computer over the phone for a good 2-3 minutes before they will just go ahead and transfer me to a live person? 




why do cars speed up when they KNOW I need to get over into that lane?  I am friends with my turn signals so there is or should never be a question about what I'm doing.  But some people are just meanies.




I am convinced Lexus and Mercedes driver's either don't give a crap about their cars which makes NO sense since they spent SO much on it, OR they think they are exempt for accidents because they drive said cars. I get cut off more by these cars than others.  Last night the guy in a Lexus truck high beamed me because he wanted the right of way even though it made more sense for him to stop and let me go BUT he didn't and I stopped and he got by so maybe they are exempt!??


I'm not really doing as many outdoor activities as I would like.  This past weekend was also Capital Jazz but the line-up was just so/so.  I never really bothered to get tickets.  Last year I was a ticket arranging queen!!  I went Friday and Saturday.  This year I just didn't get anything together.  But 1 thing that has come back is Jazzy Summer Nights!  I love this because it has put me onto some artist that I still love like Anthony David, Deborah Bond, Sy Smith, EVEN Fertile Ground and Eric Roberson were featured artist back in the day!! And I'm glad I got to see Chuck Brown!!  His band and the energy of the go-go crowd is freaking amazing!  This past week was Jeff Bradshaw a trombone player out of Philly.  He has played with everyone!! I actually like his stuff but he tends to play other folks song but he keeps the crowd pumped.  Here's what had went wrong... SO I get there and peruse the scene and decide what I need to eat.  It is time for a lil chicken wing or something.  Island Quizine was set up, food ready and smelling good.  But they are right at the bottom of my street and I go there often enough and I wanted to try something new.  There were 3 or 4  other vendor and I chose 1.  Now I won't say their name because that's just not cool and they will eventually get it together but that night was not their night.  I get to the booth and see scrambling.  They are getting set up which doesn't annoy me, but it does raise somewhat of a flag because it is after 6 and they should be ready to go.  But I push on.  I see chicken wings ready and I decide to get fried fish because WHY would I get something I know is ready?!?!  (SMH) I have to get the little girls attention and basically beg her to take my money.  At this point my gut says CHICK go on over to Island Quizine because you know it's gonna be good and it's ready.  BUT NO I ignore my inner voice and order this food.  Once I place my order I expect for the guy at the fryer to throw some fish in the deep fryer, but nope, he adds more chicken.  I ask about how long it's going to be and she says I'll bring it to you.  I point out my pink chair and I'm like COOL!!  But then 15 minutes pass I look back and no one is coming my way.  A 1/2 hour passes and I know good and damn well fish don't take 30 minutes to fry so I go back to the booth.  The lil girl says OH I didn't forget about you and I'm like OK but when is the fish gonna be done?  At this point there is more scrambling and general chaos of a very unorganized nature. There are like 3 other people trying to fill orders.  After another 10 minutes and asking EVERYONE when the fish was gonna be done AND people getting food before me when I know that I ordered and way before them I got really frustrated and was like well just give me my money back!  That's didn't work.  WHEN IS THE FISH GONNA BE DONE?!?!? Ok you know what just give me the wings and sides.  I really think I'm making out better.  I am thoroughly pissed but I grab my food and sit my hongry (which is way beyond hungry) ass down.  Grab a wing, it's good!!  Thank God because well... ok take a bite of the mac N Cheese.  Hole up WHY is this shit sweet?  I have never in all my years had sweet mac N cheese.  It was not good AT ALL!  So let me taste these greens that look so goo... WHY ARE THESE SHITS COLD AND SWEET?!?!  How do you make greens sweet?  And why are they sweet? WHY Little Baby Jesus?!?!  WHY???  I inhale the wings I really do want to go back and throw the sides on them.  I wanted fish and fries but I got wings and horrible sides. But I'm good my stomach was full and I'm going to find them on the Facebook and send them a lil note.


I worked a prom this weekend and it was really rather boring!  Maybe because I was just serving soda and juice or maybe because the dj was WHACK!! I felt his doucheiness when he came to my bar and didn't look up from his phone.  DOOD you are not that busy or important, so I ignored him.  The kids were nice enough.  But it was just a long night with NO tips LOL.  The dresses though UGH... so this is the one maybe even the 1st opportunity to wear a beautiful gown. But these girls just wore dresses that they could wear any day mainly to the beach or to the club.  They just were not very prom-like. Now there were a few gowns but the mainly freakum dresses.  This guys well I mean there is not much you can do with a tux.  There was 1 guy with white shoes with gold tips and a guy with a purple plaid jacket and they both looked like the NFL draft (I was gonna say clowns.. but they kids so I'll give them a pass) dudes. They had glow stick and flashy rings that I felt the need to put in my bag.  I have hoarding tendencies so YES they will go in the garbage soon but I needed them!  They also had a casino theme, so they got fake money and chips and I guess they had fun.  The people who ran the casino were the Dundalkiest people I have seen in a while and they all seemed a lil high.  And then management. **LOUD SIGH** I usually have a great disdain for managers, there is always 1 or 2 that are cool, but 90% of the time they are just assholes.  And this place is no different.  The 1 manager talks around me never asking me directly to do anything he'll say miss or ma'am, have Gus tell you where to find the candles or Gus go find the bowls for the mixed nuts and I'm standing right there... it's just frustrating and passive aggressive.  I worked with 1 of the newer bartenders who was extra for no good reason and toward the end of the night got very annoying and a bit racist. The company I work for is 95% Hispanic, so he would add O on the end of words thinking it was funny but it wasn't. And then they made me move tables and set tables and honestly, that aint in my job description.  My way of getting back at them is to take a big bottle of sprite! LOL

and that's all I have to say about that!

I really do like weddings!  They are festive occasions and happy and people for the most part have fun.  This is one of the things I love doing as a bartender.  So last night was a wedding and the couple were cute. She had on a beautiful dress and he looked great as well.  The thing about this wedding is it was a BLACK wedding.  I have done enough to know there are some differences.  I have done Indian weddings, white weddings, Jewish weddings, interracial weddings, even Filipino weddings and each have their own set of STUFF!!  But last night one of my fellow coworkers was like OH Lord it is one of our weddings so I hope they are ok.  I was like WELL it's a wedding so it should be fine.  Black folks can be extra for no damn reason and I can check them because game recognize game!!  Everything was beautiful.  The florist had these purple roses, white hydrangea and peonies.  The planning staff flitted about... wait WHY you got on heels ma'am and you know you have to walk around here making sure shit is right.  And not only were the heels they were sandal heels so they could not have been comfortable.  I worked with one of my bartending buddies who is just too cool for school (and whose name I thought was Carlos LOL) and then there was Marvin.. or wait Melvin?  He said it several times but you know how you just look at someone and just refuse to bother?  That was me with him.  I'm a temp and trust me I know my lane when it comes to working with the 'staff'.  I said I had worked at the venue before and then he proceeded to mumble something about how he had to work with temps.  At one point I was like WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION?  He kept mumbling something about nothing and then I just walked away because I didn't have time!! I prefer working by myself and I took the bar to the far left so I could do my thing.  Let me just mention that behind the scenes is ALWAYS organized confusion.  A symphony of cluster fuckness that somehow manages to look effortless to the guests.  I'm sure I piss people off but the bottom line is IT'S JUST A WEDDING!!!  We have all done this before and it will be great so stop being flustered over nothing!!  Last week the other bartender who I really can not stand was having a fit over these lamps the manager told her to be careful near.  If they break, guess what THEY will buy more!!! SO say one more thing about them and my fist is going straight down your throat... I digress... We talking about this week LOL SO anyway, the attire must have said formal because my people looked GOOD!!  Then there was this one guy in just a t-shirt kinda thing and I knew he knew he looked out of place.  But he was buff so my thought process for him was he wasn't buying no damn shirt for this woman he don't even know. In my mind his wife knew the bride. They started with cabernet and chardonnay BUT immediately I got folks coming to my bar wanting moscato.  You know I cringed, but they slurped up the white zinfandel (more cringeation).  The 1 woman drank at least 2 bottle but she claimed she didn't drink that much.. OH mmmkay!!  Then there's the damn signature cocktail.  I once thought long ago that a signature cocktail was cute but it's not, it's BULLSHIT!! First off it's never a good drink.  Last night was Johnny Walker Red, lemon juice, ginger simple syrup and club soda.  Does that even sound remotely good?!?!  NO!! I'll answer for you NO IT DOES NOT!!  I don't normally drink dark so when I made it to try it, it was gross.  Folks did like it but I detracted many by asking if they normally drank Johnny Walker. Most said no... so then I made them a vodka or rum drink.   Then the tips... I didn't do bad but I did make change for folks a few times.  I don't know why but for women I don't mind like OH ok.. yeah sure, change. But for men I'm like if you don't put that fucking $5 in my lil bowl and walk away!?!?!!  And then there are those who want the world.  You gave me a buck 2 hours ago and now I have to tap dance every time you come to my bar?  AND honestly tips are nice to haves not mandatory so I treat everyone the same (or at least I try to).   This guy said OH MY too much ice!!  Sir the diet coke is warm.  Yes but she don't like a lot of ice.  SHE'LL be ok... get away from me!! And then the chick who was about to get loud cause her fruity drink had too much juice. Ma'am whet?!?!? Ok more peach schnapps? Sure!  And then the woman who probably was the same woman who sent her husband saying it was tooo much ice, You'll be fine! This was close to the end of the night so my level of giving any amounts of anything was gone.  Then there were the groomsman who I think were checking me out?  So the bar next to your table is empty, I have a line but you still came alla way over to me?!?!  And the one who just need a splash of ginger ale?  And then the one who was actually a cutie but had a ring on but still got up to catch the garter? Yes a chick was being checked out!! I'm not sure if it's the smile or the boobs!!  The dj was good!  I sang and danced to most of the songs.  This lil boy... well you know everybody is a lil boy or girl... come up and say he's playing to much 'old school'.  I wanna say Poison was playing and I size him up and say well how old are you? This fool says guess!! Immediately I'm like well you're a baby buy I say twentysomething but maybe 30...I say 30!  HE says all excited yeah I'm 30.  Ok 30 so too old to really like the ratchet stuff (even though you do) but not old enough to recognize 'GOOD' music!! LOL And then there is the woman who fell.  It would be funny if I saw a video but standing right there... NO that shit was still funny but I couldn't laugh!! And she was ok so calm down if you think I'm a horrible person.  That was about it for last night!

12/2013 old I forgot it was a draft LOL

The HR at my office just sent out a notice that the smoking areas have been moved even further away from where they used to be.  It’s funny because when I watch old movies or TV shows, the folks just light up right at their desk.  This whole no smoking thing has really been within my lifetime.  I can remember being in line at McDonald’s as a kid and not wanting to stand behind people who were smoking.  And even on airplanes, I hated sitting near the smoking section.  It always smelled BAD to me.  When I see these old shows the people don’t seem to be phased.  But no really doesn’t it smell BAD to you too?!? I grew up in a smoking household.  Both of my parents smoked and I freaking HATED IT!!  My mom would smoke while she ironed clothes, so you guessed it my clothes smelled like smoke.  I asked her one time to maybe NOT smoke while she ironed my clothes.  I think she got a little offended, but as an 8 or 9 year old who wants to smell like you been sitting inside an ashtray??  My father never quit, but my mom did 25 years ago.  Now in her dementiaed state, she says she quit when she was pregnant with me.  I quickly remind her that she quit when my first nephew was born.  As I’m writing I realize how much it pisses me off that she can’t even remember doing it for me, she did it for my nephew.  There are commercials about different prescriptions to help people quit and this is when she incorrectly reflects.  For the most part I try to be a little gentler about correcting her memory but every time she says she quit when she was pregnant with me I want to yell at her and say NO YOU DIDN’T!!!  AND WHEN I ASKED YOU TOO QUIT AS A KID YOU NEVER DID!!! And then I want to add that I wanted to smell like Bounty fabric softner like the other kids, not a fucking ashtray!  But, that is the past, and thankfully she did quit.  I’m sure I asked my father to quit also.  Driving in the car with him was a nightmare.  The windows were yellow because in addition to him NOT rolling down the windows when he smoked, he never cleaned them.  It was pretty gross.  Now you can’t smoke pretty much anywhere and this is so good for me!  I waited for the clean air bill to pass in Maryland before I went to Bartending School.   I couldn’t imagine serving drinks while people blew smoke in my face.  In fact, when I was a waitress I hated the smoking section.  One time I had the section and four big old corn fed men sat and smoked cigars until the restaurant closed.  Thankfully the tip was good, but I smelled horrible that night.  I have only dated 2 guys that smoked and they both lived at home… hmm didn’t even make that connection.  LOL not that anything is wrong with that.  I mean sneaking into the basement is fun in your 30’s (NOT!!). 

My body is very appreciative that I have decided to give it water today.  Over the holiday weekend I was so bad about drinking all of my water.  I usually don’t do so bad, but the wine was calling my name more than the H2O which is maybe why I had a lingering headache on Friday.  Having to go to the bathroom every 10minutes is a small price to pay to get my body back in whack.

Red lipstick is not for everyone.  I think seeing people wear it always makes me want to go out and buy some but the MAC Ruby Woo and MAC red did not do a thing for me.  Now it may have been the light. But it looked like an orange mess on me.  I want to be that chick that give a great red lip, but alas the versions MAC have are not for me!!  I settled on a deep plum that everyone said went nicely with my hair. I actually spent way more than I intended at the good MAC counter, and I sincerely hope the sales girls (well on occasion guys… oh wait just one guy whose brows were better than mine that one time) get commission because they will get an extra product or 2 outta me EVERY time which is why I try to buy stuff online to replenish.  But I just KNEW the Ruby Woo was gonna be it for me!!

UUuuhhhh... I must not have shared my rule about not speaking in the bathroom with my manager.  Just as I popped a squat she wants to discuss work related items O_o NOOOO NOOO NOOOO LADY!!! Not the time or place.  Let me finish and wash my hands and leave the rest room AND THEN we can talk about the reports marketing sent!!! **pained look on my face** See this is why I try to time my visits so that I am NOT on anyone else’s schedule. 

I have decided to reinstate my ‘If you like it I love it’ mantra.  It seems that people aren’t taking what I say in the vein it’s meant and on the flip side I really don’t want your input so see it’s a win win.  I mind my biz you mind yours!! 

Will I SMILE will I Scorn....

what I would like to rant about right now if fucking GOOGLE!!! It's supposed to be a single sign on but it really isn't and I so wish everything including blogger were not attached to it... OK now let's begin...

This week has been rather interesting. I was supposed to start at a temp job but the Friday before it was pushed to the following Monday. Although I just called to see if I am starting this coming Monday so who the heck really knows.  Well but you know I am in hustle mode so I just push on.  I have been driving for Lyft and bartending.  And this week hasn't been bad.  In fact I looked at my bank account after the Lyft  money got transferred and I was like WELL ALRIGHT!!  But of course because it is ME I have many many stories.  Mainly bartending.  Nothing really too juicy with the driving just yet.  It's mainly picking people up from work or taking them to work.  The other night I was in Towson and a few college kids were going to happy hour.  What I've learned is me and driving at night is NOT really a good combination and so I don't think I'll be doing much of that.  Tuesday I bartended at a country club in Timonium where the guy from the Sun newspaper who's name I already forgot talk about the media and the tagline for the talk was 'Journalism Matters'.  SO yeah I tried not to make faces as he was so enamored with 45 and how 'great' he is with being so informed and he reads ALL the newspapers and he is just SO GREAT!!! I stood there like ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!  And I know I probably said it out loud too loudly on more than one occasion.  But let me back up.  This dinner talk thing was for the clients of a financial company that does not advertise, they just rely on references.  Needless to say even though I'ma go ahead and say it, your circle of friends and influence usually are people who look like you. Also, not everyone is interested in diversity.  They just aren't and that's really ok for how they live their life.  But I am a black woman.  I am the epitome of diversity.  And in this room of about 100 people, only 2 looked like me and that bothers me.  It didn't bother the company hosting.  And probably not the majority of the folks there.  We don't have to be included in everything JUST LIKE white folks do not have to be included on things that only pertain to black people.  Now I'm going on a tangent... but stick with me.  The bald black man, which I think is freaking hilarious that he has a hair care company but has NO HAIR from Shea Moisture is an idiot.  A friend of mine had his interview on the breakfast club and I watched it it but he wasn't saying much.  They did an advertisement mainly of white women and 1 very light skinned black woman.  These products have a large black base and he wants to expand, and just like Carol's Daughter before him folks thhey made a huge misstep. Women who have curly hair are not limited to black women, and companies like Shea Moisture have filled the void.  His issue is that he wants to not just be on the shelves in the stores labeled 'ethnic'. I have a point so let me get to it.  When I need a product at the store, I go to whatever section I think and get what I need just like white women. Garnier Frustise has a great serum I like so I slide on over there to get that.  Then I  need to curling foam I slide on over to the 'ethnic' aisle. There have been many occasions that I'm looking at the same stuff as white women because they may have kids that are mixed or the like the products for themselves.  But what you won't do is create a campaign and then apologize when you get backlash from black women!!  Were there no black women in the room when this was signed of on? You aint the only brand and we all have options so be careful how you present yourself to the world!
OK... back to the country club.  It is very interesting to observe people with money LOL
I worked at yet another country club where i set up for about 4 hours for an hour long event.  This was for the Garden Club of America and these women liked their wine AND vodka (my kinda ladies).

I had many many MANY thoughts from that week of working and some of it is still there but some of it is gone forever (triple dent gum WILL MAKE YOU SMILE... (not for everyone to get LOL))... yes forever ever!!

I have to thank my BFF for letting me watch her netflix cause a chick is being financially frugal yet she still wants to be lavish in her TV options.  If you are not up on Chewing Gum which is a British series on Netflix then... YOU MUST GET ONTO IT! British humor is not for everyone but this show is short and funny! I don't want to spoil it but one of the themes is that the main character is a 24 year old Christian virgin who does NOT want to be a virgin anymore.  So when she finally gets the secks, she sings a song WHILST being made sweet sweet love to!!  I was in TEARS!!! I'm laughing now!! SO it's 6 episodes and there are only 2 seasons WATCH!!

I started yet another temp job that has me questioning my entire life!!  Like WHY am I in hustle mode?!?!  My parents paid alot of good money to make sure I got this damn degree WHY am I not using it to my full potential?!?!?

Driving for Lyft which is actually not bad, mostly it's taking people to work or home from work. Sometimes we make a pit stop for them to get food and/or likka or their kids and that's about as deep as it gets.  No great stories... Well except maybe the 2 blind ladies from Health and mental hygiene that stopped to get chicken legs ( a total of 8 legs LOL) at the Popeyes!!  SOOooo here's the story I get pinged for a pick up, I drive to the back of the federal building.  The 1st security guard was new but the more seasoned one said nope you have to go around front.  I get to the front.  I have to open my hood, open my glove compartment, open my trunk, GET OUT of the car and give them my license.  I'm looking at them like y'all are really doing THE MOST!!! But we are all chuckling because they know this is fracken nackle but hey, it's a good job! At this point I call the woman and she comes out with a seeing eye cane and I feel bad for fussing at her earlier ( I called to make sure she knew I was on the way). Then yet another woman comes out with a cane and I'm like well shit!!! So they are both legally blind.  We make a pit stop at the Popeyes because everyone loves chicken (well except for vegetarians) and head downtown to their apt which I'm still trying to figure out if they were roommates or just happen to live in the same building.  On the way the talked about a woman with a big butt... so she aint THAT blind LOL, how they both hate their boss (45) and of course the chicken is smelling mighty good so now I need chicken!! I drop them off and that was that. Other driving adventures... I drove a Jamaican to driving school; a woman with a bonnet and pj's to clear across Baltimore with her little girl; a little girl who smelled like weed to work at Burger King; a Puerto Rican to a bar in Fell's Point; another dude to a bar in Hampden (he smelled really good); and a woman with the good gold side tooth the the Shopper's!  I have no complaints!!

where do you even buy strawberry champagne?!?! IS THAT BOONES????

first of all DO NOT ask my why I'm putting on lipstick unless you are my man and you are so far from being that!  I wear make-up because that's what I want to do, so it is for myself.  B stop being such a busy body and looking at shit on my desk!  Now granted I am covering for someone so it is technically not my desk, but this is MY space for the next few days, stop barging into like you own it.  And III get a haircut cause you need a line up!! You look like a wet dog!! Lastly as a matter of fact I am going to eat all of the fruits and vegetable on my desk so you asking for 1 of 4 tangerines means I need to eat 1 more when I get home.  These things at rationed my man!!

Wow it has been a day!  So I am recepting!!  I'm not even sure if that is a real word.  SO the woman and man come up and say they have a 2 o'clock. OK with whom?  Both on the rude side and then I'm like well what's your name, and instead of giving me their names their mama gave them, they gave the name of the company.  But that's not what I asked you so I'm a little pissed plus she is sweating bullets and so is he and his shirt needs to be ironed and I notice every wrong thing about them because they have BOTH rubbed me the wrong way.  She needs some WEN and OMG I just saw his short ass skinny brown tie. WHY did you even bother sir? Men have it so easy.  Alls you have to do is throw on a shirt and some dockers, match just a little bit and you good.  How do they get it so drastically wrong I have no idea!!

I totally just ate a bag of Utz that were in the drawer to NOT my desk LOL But I was hungry... well no I was being greedy, and she probably forgot they were there and even if she didn't, my last day is Thursday!!  If they call me back here I'll buy her a bag (maybe).

So the woman came in this morning, very nice and we are just chatting away.  I tell her she has lipstick on her teeth and hand her the box of tissue.  She cleans her teeth, balls up the tissue and proceeds to hand it to my naked hand.  UHH... No I don't want that which is what I said and held up the trash can for her.  WHO DOES THAT!?!? It was such a 'I really know you' kinda move!  Ma'am I have already forgotten your name please don't try me right now!!

Which brings me to the little girl who came in bright and early.  So she mumble the parent name of the company and I say YES you are here, are you here for a meeting?  She mumbles the secondary name of the company. Are you here for training? She says and looks hella confused.  Ma'am I can not read your mind WTF do you want?  Which is what I wanted to say but instead I say well do you know the name of the person you are here to meet?  She say oh well I guess I could call them.  HOW in the world do people get jobs without a basic understanding of how to speak to others? I then say WHAT is your name because obviously my other questions were too difficult.  She then gets on the phone. Someone else walks in says, hello I'm in training today and I need to go to the training room. I look on the calendar and say OH you are on the 1st floor and she says yup I know how to get there.   Lil girl is on the phone with whoever the hell and says the same name of the training New girl who knows her shit.  I say ok you are both on the 1st floor, new girl take lil girl with you.  AND THEN lil girl says oh NOW she know where I need to go to the person on the phone! Without missing even 1/2 a beat I say 5 seconds ago YOU didn't even know where you needed to be!!  Don't try me!! NOT TODAY!!  Not when you have NOOOOOOOO information and came at me totally ill prepared, looking stupid and not having a clue to how to help yourself!  I just don't understand people who just don't have basic BASIC people skills.  Say hello, thank you, it's a lovely day WHATEVER!  And then on the phone KNOW what you want to ask before you call!  I had a woman last week who called at 4:59 and I know I should have just let it go, but NO I answered and this chick took me through the ringer!! She starts telling me a story I say ok well which property because I have to transfer you, she proceeds to start over but it seems like it is another story. MA'AM WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION? She starts YET another story!  At this point I know if I hang up it will be ok, RUDE but ok, but I am really trying to help her.  I'm not sure what else she said but I finally transferred her.  Today a  real little girl called and the mother or adult in the background is like I should have kept it on speaker phone, SAY HELLO!! dammit just give me the phone!!  So why did you allow a baby to call a business office where people are doing BUSINESS (well you know not me) and play on their phone?!?!?

I truly seem to exist in an alternate existence from everyone else.  I mean sometimes I have to laugh to myself because I'm like WHY AM I THE ONLIEST ONE WHO REALIZES STUFF? I guess I am chuckling right now.