I have totally gotten my money’s worth...

I have totally gotten my money’s worth from my pre-paid phone this month!! I have 9 minutes left and I then I need to recharge. What’s funny is I called a friend on Sunday and I said I have 23 minutes so what’s going on?!?! Don’t you know that fool yawned and flipped channels and had sooooooooo many pauses throughout our so-called conversation and then finally I said OK so I’ll talk to you later. I was like did she hear me say I only had 23 minutes?!?! So now I am down to 9. 1 was wasted on facebook trying to get it in my office that has a temperamental Wi-Fi. But hey it’s ok I do need to make some calls but like Kevin Hart, the way my bank account is set up it has a checking and a savings and I have to transfer some funds. LOL I finally got the dvd Laugh at my Pain (this is me digressing) and it was funny. Not as funny as some of his other stuff. I didn’t realize he was getting a divorce. not that it matters but I be rooting for both black love AND Hollywood love... well LOVE and marriage in general. Folks be married for a while and then they blow up and just go crazy. I don’t know if that is the case with Kevin Hart, but George Lopez dropped his wife of forever years, Dion Sander, Ne NE (LOL). I keep waiting to hear Chris Rock is getting a divorce. I mean I really hope not but it’s inevitable right?


I would like to thank LBJ for the spray bottle of Clorox that is strategically placed in the bathroom by ME because a little sanitation never hurt nobody! I don't know what that was on the toilet, but whatever it was was KILLED by the bleach.


I have NO appetite so why Lord WHY did I just burn my little bagel?!? It looked so good! I know I can't come on the computer and cook at the same time. Many a dish has been burnt or almost burnt because I was tryna do both. You know I slapped some butter on it and am still gonna eat it. It's just a little extra crunchy LOL Meanwhile my cat's appetite has increased. Her little rations for the day (she gets 2 from her auto feeder) be GONE in a hour and she used to just nibble throughout the day. Right now she is looking at me like bitch you KNOW I'm still hongry!! And I will probably throw some extra food in her bowl cause that's the kinda cat mommy I am!

it is so weird what I find sexy these days!! **SMDH**

WHY do I keep seeing random cats in my backyard!?!? One little orange tabby was sitting in my flower bed like she owned it. And there was one little black and white one (technicolored LOL) who just crossed through. ALTHOUGH, if they can keep the critters at bay outside than that is less for Paisley to find inside.

I'm so sleepy and I need a new bed AND to hit the lottery not necessarily in that order...


Okay I am not feeling the spacing on this new version of blogger. OH I figured it out :) Now I can't find spell check oh well.. that's never stopped me before. Oh yeah I made it to 2 minutes on the phone!!

stress and other random things...

I am a bit stressed out. Between job, family, and money concerns I am hangin in there but some days just barely. I mean it’s true, I try to stay positive but some days just wear me down with the amount of negativity that I have to endure on a daily basis. The Four Agreements - Be impeccable with your word; Don’t take anything personal; Don’t make assumptions; Always do your best - is something I have posted on my wall and I look at often. Because when I get reprimanded for something I didn’t do I have to remind myself to NOT take it personal. Or when it’s 4:30 and have a list a mile long list of things to do but I told a vendor that I would have it to them by 5, I have to do it because I said I would. But here lately my best is more like ‘meehh… I’ll get to it when I get to it’. My attitude SUCKS!!. I know it’s time to bounce when I start feeling like this. I am mad I didn’t play the mega millions because I was feeling pretty lucky and that idiot from Mickey D’s who said she hid the ticket at work, I’m sure all the people involved with that little shenanigan have thoroughly beat her ass, cause she needed it!! And family… well you can’t pick your family. We just have to make some decisions sooner than later and I just don’t feel ready. As for money that goes hand in hand with the job. I have not felt inspired for a while; just going through the motions of doing work because I gotta eat and I gotta live somewhere. Although the thought has crossed my mind to hitch hike across America or go sell fruit and juice on a beach like how Whitney wanted to do and probably SHOULD have done. Island of choice is Bahamas, Freeport area mainly because Bahamian men are sexy as hell and most don't even realize it. Think RICK FOX, cause you know he's from the Bahamas. And then there's Lenny Kravitz because at one point he had a house in the Bahamas. I know this because I read Essence AND he has a ring in a particularly happy place for women! LAWD I have digressed!!

Emergency rooms and real life doctors and nurses DO NOT look like the men and women on ER, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice and every other doctor show on the teevee. They just look hella regular. During a recent visit to the local ER it was noticed that Dr. Hernandez (or was it Fernandez) had a little bit of cutie patootie going on. But Nurse John, not so much! And then there was Katrina who's dad just named her sister by a different mother who also had a brother by that same mother even though he was younger and the other sister by the mother Katrina has as the legal guardian. Yeah that one made my eyes cross like da hell are you talkinabout?!? Her great claim to fame was metallic fingernails, cause you know I asked, and as she put it ‘what else I'm gon spend my money on?’ Uhh a 401k? A house (oh cause I know ya ass is renting)? Better make-up (cause she had a little unevenness, but nothing a lil MAC or Mary Kay can’t fix)? So yes MANY things you can spend with your money other than metallic GREEN nails with the tiger metallic ring fingers. LAWD I didn't realize how tacky that was until I just wrote it own!! LMBAO. For some reason clogs always throw me off. Like I get that they are comfortable, but my nurse this morning, had on shiny black clogs. Why oh WHY do I notice these things? My midwife who I LOVE had on sensible tan clogs. Even though she looks more like the fraggle Mokie, she is sooo...nice is not the word, she puts me at ease for whatever I need to talk to her about. Doctors don't have that same bedside manner, just like my primary care doctor was trying to rule out me having water build up in my legs and she said is it water? or do you just have fat lil legs? (I should have been offended but she is so direct, the warm and fuzzies evade her). And I need to be at ease when being poked and prodded in my delicate lady parts area. I want a tee-shirt that says I *heart* my midwife. YES I am a cornball!

On the subject of what SHOULD offend me. Freakin Tosh.O on comedy central. This show is so ridiculous. In fact... I had to google something he had on last night which was gross and is unmentionable. BUT the funniest one which is why I started watching the show was this woman in Baltimore, of all places getting on stae to dance. She falls, loses a shoe but does NOT stop. It was hilarious!! It was called Dutty Wine gone wrong. It's taking forever to come up, but his video breakdown most definitely should have offended me. Know what else didn't offend me? Mary sangin about chicken!! And she got paid 2 million.. she aint offended either. OH I found it!! I know there were some other things but that about does it for now.

Onto my current obsessions. Well not really an OBSESSION, more like a fixation or something. So anyways Sid the science kid comes on right about the time I need to be getting my bootay out of the bed. But some mornings I just caint! So I flip between Sid and Andrew Womack (the televangelist whose voice sometimes gets on my nerves, but most times he is usually saying something I need to hear). And I have done extensive research. SOOOoooo here's what I know. Sid is a bi-racial kid who wants to know everything about everything. His mom is black (or as some random blog said African american-ish) and his dad is white. These are supposed to be nondescript cartoon characters but I KNOW!! His friends are Mai the only NAMED race kid on the show, and she's Chinese and wears transition lens glasses and a skirt. Gabriela is Latina I know this because her mom was on the show and she had a Hispanic accent and they had a last name like Lopez, or Fernandez (although that's not a tell tell sign... Zimmerman anyone?!?!) Jerrold is pink and has a voice like a 55 year old who smoked 10 packs a day. He is the rocking roller safe bet he's white. Teacher Susie... black. One day at work i was just fixated on this show. I'm not saying this is a bad thing each race and culture has their own thing and this show has the kids learning a lot and it's all fun and games. What I should be ashamed to say is that I know 2 of the songs the sing. When Sid get'sdropped off he sings 'I'm looking for my friends! I'm looking for YOU... and then each kid does a little dance. May has no rhythm, it's funny to see the cartoon dance bad! (you do know I am on pbs.org watching it LOL) and then when it's time to go in. Teacher Susie sings the rug time song... It's soo sad that I know this!!

I keep getting distracted. I started the blog at work and now I'm home still fully clothed and I keep going to random site and random people's pages. Truth is I am sleepy as hell. So i'ma post this. Eat my chicken. Eat my new favorite cheat food peanut butter cheerios OH incidentally I lost 2 pounds of the extra 15 i didn't realize I packed on... so you know that's good!!

the help and other monday randomness...

I read the book and then I went to go see The Help, actually it was a book club book. And I thought it was a good book and the movie, as with any movie based off a book, some things were missed but all in all it was a pretty good movie (no movie could be as bad as Eat, Pray, Love and I had such high hopes for Julia Roberts). I think Viola should have won the Oscar because how many more does Meryl Streep need? Well actually she should have won the Oscar for the supporting role a few years ago for Doubt, which also starred Meryl. That was the role Oprah wanted to get but the director smartly gave it to Viola Davis. So anyways this weekend I watched it again with my mother and sister. Now we are a big bunch of cry babies. We all cry at pretty much the drop of a hat. We were trying to figure out where my mom would shed her first tear. And actually she kept it together right up until the end. Because she lived through that era of having to ‘know her place’ seeing actors portray it did not really affect her in the same way. For me it feels like a travesty, like HOW DARE they speak that way her, or DO THAT to her!!! All the while claiming to be a good Christian. And I see it through a post civil rights era eyes. Not post racist society even though we got Barrack in office mind you, but in my lifetime I didn’t have to sit at the back of the bus, or blatantly did not get a job because of the color of my skin, or have to fight to vote. Don’t get me wrong racism is absolutely still alive and well, but it’s more undercover, well at least sometimes. After I really thought about it, my grandmother who was basically a single mother was just as stuck as these women in this movie. She had 2 little girls and could have just as easily stayed in Mississippi and remained a domestic but she had dreams, goals and plans for her kids. Like many during that time they had to leave the south or chose to leave the south for a better opportunity. She ended up still cleaning for a living but she made a hell of a lot more money and got a pension, sent both her daughters to college and a few of her sister’s sons to college so it all really did work out for the better! It was never an option for any of us to not go to college. In fact when I was messing around with my college applications my mother’s favorite threat was that she was going to go to Pitt and enroll me there or go fill at an application at Giant Eagle (the local supermarket). All of the grandkids went to college and even the one who didn’t still went to a trade school so he still has a good job making plenty of money! We may not be all living up to our full potential (me probably the most and honestly I’m just in a little holding pattern right now, I’ll get it together) but not having a degree has never been an excuse. I work with a few vendors who even today in 2012 say they were never a good reader or speller and I always want to ask them, what did your parents plan for you? Or what did YOU plan for you? Why in the heck can’t you spell good when we have a free school system in the USA? How come you didn’t even finish high school? Or ok so you didn’t but you can go get a GED!? and it’s still FREE. My grandmother’s initial plan was to go to Detroit. We have a lot family that ended up in Chicago, but no one seemed to make it Detroit. We are glad she made a pit stop (ha I made a funny!!) in Pittsburgh AND we are glad she went back to go get her kids because a lot of folks went up north and never came back for their kids. The part in the book and movie where the maid Yule May asked for $75 still makes me wonder why she thought it was ok to ask her employer for the money. But the kicker is that all the good white folks were putting on a benefit to help starving kids in Africa when the black folks right in their own city needed food and help and better wages. It was almost as if Hilly didn’t even believe her maids kids were smart enough or good enough to go to college so why even bother helping them? It was foolish for Yule May not necessarily to steal the ring (cause they probably didn’t even realize the ring was gone) but to try to pawn it in the same city. I don’t condone theft, but I may have had to go to New Orleans or some other big city to pawn it. 75 bucks might as well have been a million dollars

so clearly me having a proper lunch today is not happening. It amazes me that I do not put forth much effort but stuff still gets done. But let me go to the kitchen and heat up my sad little lean cuisine and everybody has a damn question about something they coulda waited 10 more minutes. I am reading an important article in the Citypaper about amateur porn so ok maybe I do need to go back to work because who needs to be reading about regular people making $90k in a year!?!? ME That’s who!! I need to flash a boob and get paid for it!! Although even though my mother doesn’t even own a computer I am still scared she might find out! She told me I couldn’t be a prostitute, but I need to ask her stance on boob flashin!

More days than I care to admit, I need to crawl up under my desk a take a lil nap. And today would be one of those days!! I went to sleep early and slept through the night, but I’m just tired today. I’m already anticipating the weekend!

It used to be the main tweedle (thought she was smart but really kinda wasn’t), lesser tweedle (dumb and she knew it; she gave 8 weeks notice resignation at a company where when you give notice they pretty much escort you out) and then the temp who they (it’s THEY because when I was asked to give my opinion about hiring her I was basically supposed to agree to what redneck manager (because she literally has red on her neck in the form of a neck tattoo and she likes hockey, nascar and rides a motor cycle soo uuhhh I’m not being racist) had already decided; but now 8 months later it’s OOOOH yeah maybe that wasn’t a good decision to hire her… mmm hmmmm) made permanent became new tweedle. And since now both the main and the lesser are gone new tweedle became just THE tweedle. The new co-worked who replaced the main tweedle, started out as new girl who I was going to transition her to be tat girl(who has all the dr. suess tats on her : / yeah she is special) but no she has proven herself to be a tweedle and she is now officially a tweedle too!! It’s hard keeping up with my thought processes but it makes sense trust me!!

I am freaking STARVING!! That lil lean cuisine is gone! Thank God I took out some chicken this morning. I might bake a few wings and foreman a few. I’m now eating some dry ass popcorn, one of those single serve and that gonna have to tide me over because I am trying to avoid the mc-doubles. Whatever happened to natural? I was all for less butter or whatever, but I do not like all the lo-cal popcorn which is exactly what I’m eating; 100 calorie Pop. Give me ALL the cals and some flavor along with it. Better yet I need to get some whole kernels and pop it my damn self!!

it's not you... IT'S ME!!

It HAS to be me because on a daily basis I have to question if what I am asking of others is just too much. So I’m convinced it’s me. It is both my personal and work life. Here is an example. I send you a detailed text (or email you pick) about whatever it is and ask questions and your response is ‘OK’ or 'YES' and then I stop what I’m doing re-read the text (or email)and say to myself didn’t I ask you 2 questions? Did you even read my text? The response should have been more than ‘OK’ so now I need to call you to clarify and you admit, nope you didn’t read the whole text. Oh alright that was my bad for sending to much info in the first place. At work when someone calls and it is not my department I get who they are calling for, make sure it is not something I can help them with and transfer accordingly. When someone calls for me, I get ‘oh someone is on line 2 for you but I forgot where he said he was calling from…opps sorry hee hee’ But that is not funny to me, not when I try to get as much info as possible before transferring to you. Clearly it’s me because right on the job description for this job it said “Must be able to read minds and figure everyone else’s shit out”. So yep MY BAD for thinking you should do a little research on my behalf.

I am in true ABC mode. Mad mostly because I’m hungry and the little pasta dish I just ate was a freaking tease. I do have some pork chops at home. I was in pork buying mode last night. I don’t usually buy anything more that chicken and turkey but every so often the steak and pork chops be calling my name! Oh and lamb chops! I am a true meat eater. I attempted to do a meatless Monday last Monday and you would have thought someone was pointing a gun at my head. It was mental, I know this. I knew it then, but I failed none the less.

Ummm this is very random (but then what the hell else would it be on this blog??) and maybe even a little off, but Trayvon Martin’s father is a good looking dude!! Even with the neck tattoo, because as you will remember from previous posts they are just WRONG!! The whole case is just so crazy I just cannot wrap my head around the injustice. I mean I want to scream it is 2012 are you FUCKING KIDDING ME!! Did we not march, and live through seperate but equal, and back of the bus and all the other crazy Jim Crow laws and so many MANY horrible things already to only have the same things happen today. I just can't wrap my head around it!

I watch Being Human on SyFy (not sure why the changed it from SciFi but anyways) which is about a vampire a werewolf and a ghost living together to try to have a ‘normal’ life. And what I was thinking about was if you had to choose: Vampire or Werewolf? See these new age Vampires can come out in the middle of the day sun just a blazing. Back in the olden days (LOL) vampires only could come out at night and since I am not a night owl so to speak I would choose to be a werewolf. You know if I had a choice. Cause you only change once a month, get you kill and eat on and be back to being normal.

OK further confirmation that it is ME!!! So I pull up tonight the Sonic drive thru and say 'I have a coupon for a buy one get one free blast, but I don't see the blast on this menu. Can you tell me where it is?' the drive thru chick 'Well we don't have coupons on the menu' ***LOUD SIGH*** me 'I am aware you don't have coupons on the menu, I was asking where the blast is on the menu' drive thru chick 'oh it's in the blue section'. Now from this exchange I should have just taken my happy ass home right?!? No not me!! so I pull up to the window... drive thru chick 'that'll be $3.74' I say 'but it's only $2.99, that's alot of tax' drive thru chick as she takes my coupon and 5 bucks outta my hand, 'oh I'ma hafta get a manager to fix that.' And so now I can't pull off cause this chick has my money. So I wait... and wait...I see my 2 blast sitting there but I gotta wait... and I wait and get madder because what I really wanted was a hot dog and a cherry limeade BUT OH NO I must use my stupid coupon. So she finally hands me my change and my blast's which you would think would be all melty but they must use some super industrial strength ice cream because they are both still intact. And I say 'well how much was it?' And she said 'oh $3.17' and then I said 'Did I not speak clearly enough?' And she replied 'oh well we have been having trouble with the machine all day', which she meant the cash register NOT the microphone or ordering system. So all that is to say Sonic is on probation right along with Caribbean Dutch Pot. Just like CDP Sonic is slow as molasses. And I always second guess my order when I go there. I almost want to be like, What is ready NOW?!? CDP redeeming quality is that is sooo freaking good, but I have to stick with what's ready NOW, no more calling ahead an trying to get something fancy off the manu. Either get jerk chicken or curry chicken, and plantains, IF and only if you see them in the little window thing. Sonic, however, has very few redeeming qualities so other than the cherry limeade being the last and final thing I will go there for, it is on the verge of being fired for good!!