tell me about it STUD!!

my day was actually going pretty ok!  I got up, cooked breakfast, got the roommate up fed her some of the cooked breakfast, I knew I needed to go to Wal-Mart because my fan done died and I had to do some other running around and even though it was hitting 90 by 8 AM I was good.  So I did my running around, bought the fan at the Wal-Mart headed to Staples to buy ink for my printer that took about an hour to update the driver OF WHICH it still isn't recognizing the color ink but it printed what I needed to print so I'll tackle the color in a bit, had the little tech dude help me, get to the cash register my wallet is not in my purse.  No problem I 'm sure it's in the car.  Go to car and it is NOT there.  Wait, lemme look in the back because I'm sure it's with all the bags.  Yep not so much.  Ok so I run back to Wal-Mart ask the less than empathetic cashier if she saw it, but she said she hadn't.  Went back to my car checked (ass all in the air with my denim skirt because naturally it was under the seat) the cart and the area where I was and it was just no where to be found. OH SHIT!!! NO THIS IS NOT HAPPENING TO ME TODAY!!! I go back into the Wal-Mart because surely some kind soul turned it into the wallet, the one with my bank card, my mama's bank card and my otha bank card and my license OH HELL I gotta go to the DMV aint nobody got time for that!!! So I freaked for a good 5 minutes collected my thoughts and took myself home.  It is WAY over 90 at this point and sweat is dripping from every conceivable orifice.  I call all the card people, grab my passport,  and then went to the Bank of America near my house.  Now WHY did I do that?!?  **smh** I'm in a race with the slow paint old guy with the white overalls which upon closer inspection should throw those things in the wash more often than he probably does.  I sign the sheet and then he signs after me.  I really should have taken the seat to the far left but no, I sit  near the woman with all the kids.  I have a problem with dirty kids!!  To many times the kids are lacking some basic attention and the mom looks like she just left the salon.  So in this case the woman brought all 6 of her charges under 7.  no wait she had 5 but then another lady came in with 1 who wanted to be part of the 6 and it got a little rowdy for a few minutes.  So there were many stains on shirts and the little boy had his flannel pj bottoms on (flannel?!?!  REALLY girl in this damn heat??) with some mismatched shirt.  his hair hadn't been combed he looked a hot mess.  THEN I look at the woman **SMDH** IN addition to the bonnet she had on, here jeans were a few sizes to small and the shirt just looked dirty.  And then the dude she was sitting next too didn't look much better but I didn't get a real good look at him before I decided this was too much for my frazzled state and I got up and exited stage left.  I go to the Bank of America in Catonsville where the clientele was not much better but there were not babies acting a pure fool.  There were 2 men sitting on opposite sides of an empty chair but when I heard one of them cough up a lung I decided that was NOT the seat I wanted to sit in.  SO I wait finally got the 'personal banker' with the star tats on both his neck and hands.  He was actually very nice.  I didn't want to get the lady in the severe white suit and pony tail because she looked mean, or the dude who just got back from lunch because he looked like his breath was going to offend me.  So star tats dude worked well.  It seemed like it took forever and he said thank you for being patient to which I replied 'what choice did I have really?'  I go to the subway to get food for myself and the roommate because I KNOW she's hungry and even in all this heat I need to eat as well.  So I'm behind 3 Indian men.  The one was probably my mom's age and just as ornery!!  The younger one tried to help him order his sub and he kept said HUH?!?!  She knows what I want!  The little girl looked like NO DUDE I DON'T!! So I ordered my food an got otta there.  In all of the chaos of the day I still need to get my hair braided so I call the place only to be told that Nah I can't come tonight, I can come tomorrow at 8 AND I have to buy the hair.  WELL shit, just one more thing I need to do.  At this point I smell less than fresh, but I know once I'm in the house I'm IN, so back out into the heat I go to get hair.  I went to the one hair place because I needed a specific brand of hair and it was close to the likka sto.  The little girl didn't want to tell me that I would look crazy if I got one color over the other but she was pushing me in that direction.  Then I got WINE because one of my favorite likka sto's in the same shopping center has 10% off wine Wednesdays' so really this is a good thing!!  I get 2 magnums (that is the big ass bottles) and then go to the frig and get a 4 pack of the same exact chardonnay because it's cold because while I am not above putting ice cubes in wine, (don't judge me!!) having cold wine is even better! So I get home, crack open one ask the roommate if she wants some OF COURSE she does, but I just looked over and there is still wine in that glass... we about to correctify that right quick... drank about 1/2 a glass and then hopped my stinky butt in the shower!! I talked to my girlfriend about cancelling everything and she reminded me that identity theft is rampant and I should file a police report.  THANK YOU for scaring the beejeeezus outta me by the way... but I just drank mo wine so It's alllllllll good!!

I have had all of my lady part checked last week and I'm good.  I have an ample bosom so I was really curious how the whole mammogram was gonna go. This was my first time so I was both concerned about pain and just curious in general.  So for some reason I got the giggles.  The tech was like ooohhh uuuhh... I think I need to take MORE pics, I underestimated.  Yes ma'am you DID. Having her arrange the girls just made me laugh.  And then after the machine clamps my breast down she does this extra manual twist and I was like UUUHHH NO they don't need and extra flattening!!  It only really hurt 1 time for the most part it's just uncomfortable.  But I got my report back and I have clean bill of health!

On my way to one stop today a little old man decided to jaywalk.  UH sir I will not hit because you are old and have a cane, but what you won't do is stop midway and just slow down!!  You knew the consequences of crossing in the middle of the block!! Get your old ass across the street!!
Old lady at the bank, if you put money in the bank and yet you have overdrawn, YES someone did hack you account and/or using it without your knowledge.  ijs
The gold toothed fellow with what I know where compression socks but they looked like panty hose, go easy on the cologne!!  A little splash is always better than the entire bottle.  That whiff turned the entire contents of my stomach!
And speaking on turning my stomach I started an oil pull this week.  What that is is swishing oil (either coconut, sesame or another 'organic' type oil) in your mouth to pull out the toxins.  A friend of mine mentioned I should try it a while ago but seeing HeyFranHey talk about it on the youtube made it make more sense.  I have coconut oil that I use on my hair but she suggested sesame oil so to Whole Foods I go to get the organic almost $11 sesame oil.  So here's the thing, you swish you do NOT gargle!!  I swished for a good 5 minutes (you should do it for 15-20 minutes for maximum benefit) and then the oil hit the back of my mouth and all of the contents of my empty stomach decided that was just to much!! It's not a bad taste but the texture of the oil takes a bit to get real used to.  I've only done it for 2 days so I am by no means an expert.  It is supposed to aid in sinus and migraine headaches and is a good detox.  I knew I needed to detox so this I thought would be a good method.  Oh and it whitens your teeth which is a good side effect.  SO the jury is still out.  I'll report back later.

I am ready for vacation!!!

that is all!!

Have you been listening? I'm gonna tell you the point...

I always feel so thoroughly violated when I go the ob/gyn.  It really helps that I go to a midwife who I have been seeing since 1996 so she knows me and I know her and it really is all good EXCEPT when she gets to poking and prodding.  I suspect that most women feel the same way but it's such a necessary step in our overall health.  One thing she said in regard to the size of the speculum she used on me was that 'tall women like you'... I thought OH YEAH I AM a tall chick and she knows!!!  That was all the validation I needed.  I've been calling myself a tall chick for a real long time and now the midwife concurs!!
This blog is gonna be all over the place because sometimes I want to say things to folks but I know it's better not to.  So here goes...

What I've learned in Hampden - 1) MEGGINS!!!  this is where I saw the young man with the zig zag man leggings and whose hair was also braided... he was a white guy so everything was a little extra about him.  2) you can buy shorts already cut off with stars and stripes on the pockets the show through ala Britney Spears.  I don't why this senior citizen woman had them on as she went into the sebenelben (figure it out) but she totally did and that's what I learned in Hampden.

I wore these platform sandals that made me look like an Amazon (you know cause I already am a tall chick) to church this week.  My biggest fear is that I am going to fall either walking down or up the aisle during offering. This week I was particularly self conscious because of my big ass shoes! So I didn't fall but I did drop my envelope. I picked it up quickly THANKFULLY my dress was long enough but I think if I had fallen I would have just laid there and let them throw one of those white modesty cloths on me until the end of service!! I am pre-embarrassed for when it hopefully doesn't happen.

This political ads are the worse.  You never really know who to vote for based on the attack ads, so I will be happy when this season is over.  I got a call the other day asking if I was going to vote for Anthony Brown who is the current LT Governor.  I told the little boy (because he sounded young) that I honestly didn't know.  I have a friend who posts pretty much everything Heather Mizuer puts on facebook, so I know who she is for.  And Dough Gansler, I just don't know.  They all sound like idiots but I guess I have to do my civic duty so we'll see.  There is an ad for state's attorney general Greg Bernstein who since I don't live in the city this is not something I can vote for but he has looked like a crook to me.  He, or his team, has this ad of 'regular folk' saying how good of a job he has done.  EVERYTIME I see it I want both the black chick and the white chick to tighten up their weaves and put a little lipstick on.  When I see fresh faced people on TV on there on purpose I always think, you did know they were gonna put you on TV right!??!  I'm not saying you have to have a beat face but a lil lipstick and mascara aint never hurt no one!! Well you know except the folks who are allergic. 

Speaking of beat faces, I swear I be doing something with my lil make-up until I see someone WHO really knows what the heck they doing.  And then I have to reassess my skill!

I just did a quick break to look up Lil Kim plastic surgery and her new baby.  I don't know why but that's how random I be sometimes!!

I need to get a shredder.  I'm not sure why Capital One wants to give me a credit card so bad when I have been doing just fine without any major cards for years now!  In fact I only really have my little Kohl's card (and I DO mean little since they have decreased my limit to $100), My Avenue card which I haven't used in years, and Care Credit (they too reduced me, but I need this one cause dental work is expensive and I just got my Obama Care!!). 

I have a feeling if I go upstairs the FedEx dude is going to come to deliver my wine, and the roommate may not hear the door cause she will be taking one of her multiple naps and I will be pissed because I have been home and he will slap a notice on my door too quick.  Oh yeah I'm home because my contract ended last month and even though I had a phone interview I have not gotten another job.  I really do need a break!  It's a lot of everything and I need a minute to chill.  Last week I did stuff pretty much everyday and I was tired most days.  It was a good week but I didn't really enjoy it like I wanted to.  Yesterday I was committed to not doing anything.  I had a bit of a sinus headache that was determined to not go away but it finally did.  My goal in general is to clean my house.  I am a serial pile maker.  I make a pile for things that need to get filed, a pile for things that need immediate attention, a pile for stuff I just can't throw away right this second MAYBE next week but not today, and just piles and piles of STUFF!! I have gotten rid of most of the paper but even as I look down now I have a pile that needs shredding, a tax pile, and a pile of CD's.  I bought a shoe bench thing to be able to take my shoes on and off when I enter my house and on top of that is the pile of magazines that I haven't gotten around to reading.  Piles of shoes are in the cubby holes.  I'm thinking about how I need to go clean my bathroom that has a massive amount of product (don't even get me started).  I have made some progress in the kitchen and I have about 3 big black bags of trash waiting to be pulled to the curb.  I know what have to do so thanks in advance for any suggestions.  I saw a blog where they said 'fake clean' which meant put everything in a basket until you get a chance to go through it.  The problem with that is you NEVER get a chance and stuff gets missed so that's good for temporary measures but I honestly have piles from last year when the lady came to help me organize my life and now I'm getting stressed out just thinking about those piles **sigh**.   I joked on FB that I needed Zoila from Devious Maids to come clean my house but I can't even hire someone until I get it to a point where someone can actually clean.  I am about to attack the pile of paper on the floor before Paisley my cat decides that is the exact spot she needs to lay.  She always seems a little pissed when I shoe her away and she always decides the moment I need to go through it.  And then the roommate will see the pile and then decide she needs to step right on it... REALLY LADY?!?!  We have been doing well!  I been trying not to disturb her routine to much and at the same time not get so used to just sleeping the day away because that can be so easy sometimes. 

So yeah that's what's going on with me!