if you can make it there!!!

The goal is to do some work today, but honestly… for real doe… it’s not looking to good.  First off I am tired as HECK!!  And then second I don’t think I have all of my access that I need to fully do my job.  But I can take a slow day.  I really can! 

I have had an amazing birthday month!! It was supposed to start off with a kick ass NYE party that got cancelled.  Then I had the 1^st week off of January.  This was both good and bad.  GOOD because who doesn’t like to be off a little extra time?  BAD because a chick didn’t get paid.  All in all though it was a good week.  I had an amazing massage at a place I always forget is there.  Farashe Day spa is a place I went to years and years ago, probably when I was still living in my apartment.  It is in the same business center as the now defunct and closed Silver Shadow club and I honestly don’t remember how I found it initially.  But when I called and they still had my info on file that was really nice.  I was intending to go to Massage Envy but that place stays booked up.  I paid a little more but it was so worth it.  At one point during my massage/reflexology I totally went to sleep and woke up and was wondering why some random woman was in my bedroom!!  LOL It took me a second to realize that I was still getting my massage.  And she didn’t talk a lot.  She just manipulated my body to the point of great relaxation.

This was also the week of the great Bob Evans debacle LOL : /

The next week I went to Philly to see The Read Live event!  And it was really nice to see people that I normally just listen to via podcast.  I bought the ticket for the meet and greet and I meeted and greeted!!  This was also VERY COOL!!  I have a thought that people who have even a small amount of celebrity are basically going to be assholes.  But Kid Fury and Crissle so weren’t.  They also had their friend Assante who helped to wrangle the group in line.  He kept saying let’s be Christian about this.  Also a very cool dude. They did the show pretty much in the same order they usually do the podcast.  It worked out for me because the tickets went on sale right near Christmas and I know folks didn’t have money because I always seem to find out about the show when they are already sold out.  I don’t do too well with keeping up with things on Instagram or Twitter, so this really just worked out for me. 

Then I went to the Lisa Fischer concert at The Howard Theatre.  I pretty much had goose bumps the entire concert.  I don’t even know if I can put into words what I experienced.  First off if you don’t know her and her body of work with all of the people she has worked with, then you have already done yourself a disservice.  She won a Grammy back in the 90’s for her one and only cd that she put out.  Also, she was featured in the Oscar winning documentary ’20 feet from Stardom’ with several other background singers who just never really made it.  It is such a random occurrence, not random in that people don’t work hard on their craft, but what makes one person more successful than another?  Lisa understands her voice in a way I don’t think the average singer does.  It was just an amazing (ok looking for a new word…) BRILLIANT!!  As the Brits say LOL It was a brilliant show!!

The next day I hopped on the Megabus with my girl E to go to NYC.  Now the entire trip was built around going to see Wendy William Show and… well what had happened is I never got confirmation, the show was fully booked and we didn’t get on because there was no standby.  I am still feeling some kinda way about it because I signed up in plenty of time and I don’t know what algorithm the audience people use to pick who gets on the show.  The little audience dude was like well yeah there were people from Florida that didn’t get on the show either.  And as much as I want to be mad directly at Wendy, I can’t because she has no idea what is going on with the various departments that are in place to make sure the show runs smoothly.  The other dude with the beard was like it was really a bad day to be on standby because it was a holiday and EVERYBODY showed up.  It sucked but I will try again on a random day in the warm weather! SO after that didn’t work out we decided to go check out the View.  The info online said that you had to be there by 9:30 to be on standby.  We hopped in a cab and the cabbie from hell got us to ABC studios in about 5 minutes!! We get out of the cab see NO LINE and were like hmmmm… maybe The View is already done for the day?  So we knock on the door and the lady security guard with the gold braids was like no The View is not taping today but go on up the street to Kelly an Michael.  So that’s what we did.  People were already in line inside and there were maybe 5 people standing outside.  These were the standby folks.  They all had a piece of paper with a number so I go to ask the security guard to get a paper with a number.  So when I open the door it lets in all of the cold that is New York in January, he basically waves me off like CLOSE THE DOOR AND GET OUT!!! We will get to you when we get to you!! They call all the people with numbered paper and we are standing there like UUUhhhhh… ok so what about us?!?  The other guard was like don’t worry there is plenty of space we will get you in.  They do!  And we are standing in line waiting to go in.  I’m saying something to the lady security guard and because she does this every day, it is old hat to her and she is unfazed by my sense of urgency.  It is 8:50 and the show is live at 9:00.  The audience lady comes and gets us and sits us in the last row on the floor level!  WE ARE CLOSE!!!  And then literally 2 minutes to spare she comes and gets us to sit on the front row! : O OH ok so I need to throw on my cute shoes then because the fabulousness that is my outfit is not complete without my sparkly (open toe shoes in winter) shoes.  As I am putting on my shoes, Gelman is giving instructions and then also they are getting ready to select the go go dancer for the show that they have for segment where they call a random person and ask them a question from the previous show.  The show starts and they do the opening segment.  What we see are camera people and security but not really Kelly and Michael. When that segment was done Michael is walking around and everyone has hope of him coming to speak to them.  But security is kinda everywhere and I get it.  There is no vetting of the audience so someone could be the crazy person and just jump out and do something... well crazy.  Then the lady comes around and says Jennifer Lopez is coming from this directions so when she comes out you guys need to get up and high five her! REALLY??!?!  OK I can handle that!! So we all stand up and then Gelman (who was in a stinky mood OR maybe that is just who he is?!?) says SIT DOWN!!!  SO we all sit down! The segment starts J.Lo comes out we all stand and her hand is both small and clammy. You’ll have to YouTube (I’ll put the link here) (22:03 ish) it but you can totally see my orange pants and E’s braids and that’s it!!  OH WAIT you can see my brown hand AND  if you keep looking REAL hard you'll see E!!  LOL There was a white dude who was totally doing some camera blocking.  He was looking directly into the camera.  During the camera breaks Michael finally made it down to our area.  He is a nice guy and a big personality so it’s understandable why he has 50eleven jobs on the teevee.  Plus, he is sexy, a little skinnier than he looks on TV, but the gap is there and he totally could get it!!  I photobombed Christine (random chick in the 2^nd row) but she wouldn’t tell me her last name so I have to stalk ALL of the Christines on Facebook until I find ‘my’ pic!! It was a fun day! Things didn’t work out like I planned but thankfully a willingness to be flexible was important.  We went back to the room after a long debate about taking the train vs a cab and then getting a one way ticket vs a metro card with multiple trips. Single trip won out.  I got a little nap in and then we went to lunch.  I love going to non-chain restaurants.  It sometimes can be hit or miss, but in this case it was a total HIT!  We went to Smithfield Hall.  The prior day we ended up at Johnny’s Luncheonette because I like diner/breakfast food and the luncheonette part had me intrigued.  It was a little (no rather tiny) spot with maybe 10 counter chairs and 2 little 2 top tables squooze in the back.  But it was good!  I didn’t even notice the Smithfield restaurant but E did.  The sign outside say Happy Hour ALL DAY!!  My kinda place!!  Everything on the menu sounded better than the thing before it.  We both got the chicken pesto panini, and order of Jameson wings and I had some wine because, vacation! Then I got the dark chocolate tart which had this graham cracker crusty loveliness.  It wasn’t bitter like most dark chocolate tends to be but it was sooo good.   SO then after we smashed ALL of the food and dessert we needed to hop yet another cab to get back to the Megabus.  This was really a quick trip but I had an absolute blast!!  My travel chick was great and that’s important because even if you are friends with someone, that doesn’t always translate into the both of yous traveling well together. 

So I didn’t even talk about the play.  We went to see If/Then with Idina Menzel (OR if you are John Travolta Adele Nazeem).  The premise of the play was what would happen if you made this decision over another and it followed Liz/Beth as she faced her life making each of the decisions.  So like Liz missed the call and met the man whereas Beth answered the call and got the job. I got a little confused but it was a really good play. I have more thoughts but that’s for another blog another day!

Coming up is the ski trip superbowl weekend and I already know I will have a fantastic time!!

it's a problem of motivation

I really need to get out of the ‘who gon check me boo’ mindset!!!  It is getting close to being dangerous because that is my rationale for doing any and everything!  Whatever I do, right or wrong I’m thinking WHO GON CHECK ME?!?!  But someone is GON check me one day hopefully later than sooner and I will be ill prepared!  LOL

I have to take a picture of the complete fuckery that is my desk!  I knew it was too good to be true the desk that I had in the corner where no one even knew I existed in the other building.  Folks STILL don’t know I exist and I am out in the open.  I can’t position my Kindle to really see it unless it is right in front of me.  This is actually what I have been doing.  My old desk I could look to my left which is what I got used to doing.  Now trying to look to my right has been difficult, so I’m looking at it straight on.  I just did the calculations; there are 90 cubes in the section that I am sitting around and maybe about 40 - 50 or so people.  But per the usual, folks are in their own heads and can’t even be bothered to even smile in not just my direction but each other.  I noticed this because I notice everything all the time! It’s a gift and a curse!  But as I always say (mostly to other folks) you can’t have it both ways!  But it actually wasn’t my choice to change desks or buildings, but it is my choice to work and keep eating and have power in my home so I’ll do what I have to do. 

This bra today is giving me the blues!!

I have been rocking what I have labeled ‘disco hair’ it’s just big and ridiculous.  So the other day a comment was made about the natural girls and their big hair and I got in my feelings for about a minute.  But hey it is what it is!!

So I just looked up and there is this guy that looks like ‘The Situation’ you know, the dude from Jersey Shore?  He is like a shorter less buff version of him.  And then the guy that sits a few seats up from me reminds me on Ron Livingston, the character from ‘Office Space’.  It’s a cult classic… get into it!! He looks like he gives no amounts of fucks about anything.   And then the rest of these schmopes, well for the most part, look like a bunch of bank tellers.  AND here’s what that means…. SO when you get a job at the bank you are supposed to look a certain way.  You are supposed to look professional and dress the part. BUT bank tellers make a just little above minimum wage so there is no way they can afford a wardrobe from Talbots or J.Jill or Ann Taylor.  What they can afford is The Marts! (as my sister would say LOL) you got K-Mart, WalMart and even Target. What they should be doing is buying those few pieces and then filtering in the stuff you get from the Marts.  I love how I try to dispense fashion advice when I have never be mistaken for knowing what they hell I’m doing ever!! They just lack a something. And I’m not knocking the Marts.  It could be that I’m sitting in the midst of ALL THESE DAMN people!!!

SO back in November I went on The Wendy Show to get tickets for MLK day since it is a day off AND it’s close to my birthday AND it is on the unwritten as of yet ‘bucket list’.  I have been checking my junk mail religiously and those mofos in the audience department have yet to send me a confirmation. Me and my girlfriend whose birthday is a few days after mine (even though I always think it’s before) have a whole event planned around going to the Wendy show.  We both share this unexplainable love for her.  I don’t have to explain why it’s okay to start a sentence ‘Well Wendy said…’ it just is!! And she understands!! Now I hope to report next week that I had a wonderful time at the Wendy Show and if not then I will really REALLY be feeling multiple kinds of ways, but I’ll be ok!

I don’t like the new Usher song ‘I don’t mind’.  He’s ok with dating a stripper because they are not hoes!! Which is what the song says and I listened to the whole thing and after a few seconds in I wish I hadn’t.  So you know maybe it’s an encouraging song for the strippers who need a little boost in esteem?!?  And I am not hating on strippers!  I took a few pole classes I have a healthy respect for what these women do and after they are doing all that work, no buddy we can’t get freaky after that.  I am tired!!  I also don’t like him in the Honey Nut Cheerios commercial… but make that paper Ursh!!  LOL

 

 

 

cornfield random

I am sitting here sleepy as HELL!  There are several random things that I need to get off my chest.  Bullets or just separate paragraphs?!? Both??

·        Shout out to the dude at Jiffy Lube who while vacuuming my car floors found my Sam’s club card that I didn’t even realize was lost!  I had been checking all the purses and bags I’ve carried for the last few months but I had resigned to just going to Sam’s and getting another card. That was a good find

·        Shout out to the little boy at the Arby’s in Claymont DE who at 9:58 decided to fry me some straight fries instead of curly fries because they were quicker AND because he knew I was an hungry black chick and he mighta got a beat down if he denied me food.  The Arby’s closed at 10 so he really REALLY didn’t even have to take my order but see what had happened is…

Yesterday was my birthday and I had purchased tickets to “This is the Read’ Live event that was in Philly.  Since it was on my actual birthday and I love the show I knew that even though it was in Philly it really wasn’t too far to drive up and drive back.  And that’s what I did.  What I didn’t factor into any equation was food.  I can really plan things to a T sometimes, but yesterday I was just winging it!  I went to McDonald’s for breakfast which is a habit that I need to get out of RIGHT NOW!!  I sometimes slip into a ‘let me just run to Mickey D’s’ and get a McDouble and a sweet tea.  Or let me get a little sausage McMuffin and that needs to stop.  So I did that for breakfast and then I thought that I would just hit a little restaurant and have a little drink before the event I was going to.  So I’m on the road and I say to myself, ‘Well if I see a Waffle House’ I’ll just go there and get some bacon and eggs’ Cause we all know I love me some breakfast and I still don’t understand why there is not a Waffle House closer to where I live.  And then I pass the 1^st one and say well… but I don’t wanna spill on my shirt.  Then I convinced myself I didn’t really want bacon and eggs OR a Waffle.  And then after the 3^rd one I get mad at myself for not stopping but ASSURE myself that I could find a restaurant.  My event was at Drexel University so once I got on the campus I see food trucks.  I love a food truck as much as the next foodie, but it was 25 degrees and getting out to go stand in a line to get food outside was not really the move, plus I wanted a drink.  I even went down one street full of food trucks got stuck and had to do a U-turn.  So I drive up Market street pull over and turn on Yelp cause I got the smart phone and this should help me be smart about what to do next.  Well apparently this area has a lot of India restaurant.  I like Indian food but that wasn’t really what I wanted.  After circling the block for the 4^th time and not seeing the restaurant almost hitting several pedestrians and cars, I decided to just park and see what I could see.  The 1^st place was closed for construction, 2^nd place ALSO closed for construction. So the 3^rd place which was open was only open for drinks.  Did I already mention it was 25 degrees?  So yeah I can do a drink or 2.  It was a Mexican restaurant so I thought well maybe I could get chips and salsa, but NO the kitchen was not open until 5 and it was 3:45.  The host did give me these spicy ass peanuts which was not what I wanted.  SO I sat there and slurped down not 1, but 2 margaritas!!  This went directly to my head and fast.  Thank LBJ I didn’t get a headache because me and tequila have not been on good terms for quite a while.  ALSO, thankfully where I needed to be was literally down the street so even though I do not endorse drinking and driving, once I hit that cold air, it sobered me up quickly.  I parked by a Boston Market and should have gone there, and I thought I saw a 7/11 to get a hot dog, but couldn’t find it again.  So I am tipsy, hungry and now I have to find a bathroom.  When I get to the auditorium, which is in the Engineering building there are several areas where the kids are congregating.  I see 3 Asian students eating and I swear I coulda beat them down for their food.  That’s just how hongry… not hungry… I was!!! This is why when the event was over I tried to find the closest thing which ended up being an Arby’s at 9:58.

·        When I say I have to go to the bathroom, please don’t ask me about a report I need to send and/or sign.  My manager almost got drop kicked this afternoon because he got all in the way.  I drink lots and LOTS of water and I gotta go alla time.  SO just stare (stair?) clear of me!! In my time of need

SO I have a new desk which is in the middle of another department.  The good thing is it is close to the bathroom, the bad thing is I have noooooooooooooo privacy and we know I need to get my Wendy Williams and other YouTube action in.  I can’t figure out how to position my Kindle because while I love my lil iPod I can’t login because it is a 2^nd generation and it stopped doing what I need for it to do and the screen is just too small.

I really need for Baltimore County to come and pick up the damn trees that we set out a few weeks ago.  And then I need for all of the people to take down all the Christmas decorations (including me!! LOL).

·        This is a general PSA, it is winter so even if the streets are not covered with snow, if it below freezing then there is probably patches of ice on the road.  Slow Your asses down!

I completely embarrassed myself the other day at the Bob Evans.  So I recently bought myself a big Coach purse.  It was my Christmas/birthday present to myself.  And for some reason even though the only place I was headed was to breakfast, I felt the need to carry it.  So I loaded it with my makeup bag, my kindle and my little wallet that has all of my store loyalty cards in it.  I sit myself down at table, order my sausage gravy and biscuits.  Eat EVERYTHING and then ask for the bill.  There are 3 compartments in this purse so I go through each one of them at least 5 times before I realize I don’t have my wallet!!  OH SHIT!!!  So I’m sitting trying to decide what the hell do I say to the server who has been diligently waiting on me.  She needs her lil money and I am about to jack up her day.  My thought was that I would leave my kindle as a kind of assurance that I would come back.  I remember doing the same thing years ago at a nail salon and they made me leave my license which in retrospect wasn’t a great idea because if I got pulled over my story to the officer would be… so what had happened mr. officer is that I forgot my wallet.  But the Bob Evans people were really quite nice about the whole situation.  The little girl who waited on me said OK… let me go tell my manager.  Then the manager came over and was like OK… well just go get your wallet and come back.  I sat there like WAIT! Do you need for me to leave anything?!?  He said no, so back home I went.  When I came back the other manager was like it was really no problem because you didn’t look shady! LOL  I’ll take that as a compliment!!

 

2015

Happy New Year!!  This is the year of our Lord two thousand fifteen.  It has taken me several days to get into this new year.  As per usual my thoughts are all over the place.  I was going to do a year in review but the main thing is I turned 40 in 2014! My life is absolutely not where I thought it would be and that is neither good or bad, it just is.  Job is ok, I like that they think I am an expert on a program that I have no good idea what I'm doing, but as a good contractor (and unless anyone on my team reads this) I AM an expert and I know it all!! Meeting anyone still seems to be a task.  I was on Tinder for about 5 days before I realized that was NOT where I needed to meet my prince or king OR jump off! A girlfriend of mine had a GREAT idea and it has taken a few days for it to sink in.  I think online dating is a good thing I just honestly have never given it much of a chance so maybe I will.  The roommate has been like a box of chocolates (to quote one of her favorite movies) I never NEVER know what I'm gonna get.  It is slowly wearing me out and folks usually only want to hear the good and funny stuff which is very isolating, but it's not always good and damn sure not always funny.  So I stay in constant prayer!! I do!!!  Me and LBJ have lots of late night talks.  I have to keep in mind that this is either preparing me for something I am not yet ready for and/or it might not even be about me.  I am fully aware that I need to heed my own advice when it comes to her.  My hair has grown leaps and bounds!  Even though I deal with it everyday, I saw a picture of myself recently and was like DAMN!!! I figured out I don't like it pressed out because it is just too straight and I also learned detangling takes more of an effort at this length. I have a loose curl pattern over most of my hair maybe like a 3C to 4A/B.  I need a car and although I like the 2011 Acura TSX because they still made that as a stick, I really don't want a used car.  I need to figure out if a manual transmission is still a must. My entire driving life I have had a stick so switching to an automatic is a major decision.  So I think I need to visit a dealership sooner than later.  I think my credit might be better than I thought.  Who knows!! 

I watched Rio2 and it was soooo good!!!  This got me to thinking about sequels and how some should just NOT have been made.  And then I went through a list of bad sequels.  The first that came to mind was Grease 2, it was just unnecessary, BUT I can still watch it.  it's just where were the Pink Ladies and T-Birds from the 1st one, this group is what a year or 2 behind Sandy an nem. Dirty Dancing Havanna nights should have just been named Havanna Night because NO.  They tried to mess with the perfection that was Baby and Johnny!! Best Man Holiday was good but was it really needed?  It was sooooooo emotional and I get why we wanted to revisit that group of friends but not really.  Which brings me to Think like a Man TOO and Why Did I get Married TOO.  Meh... After all this though I then thought about trilogies.  See these movies were meant to have more than one.  So Back to the Future, Lord of the Rings and Indiana Jones are exempt. HOWEVER that 4th mess they made of Indian Jones they could have kept because that shit was shit!!Crystal Skull REALLY PEOPLE!! All that cgi was a bit to much for the kid which then brought me to Mummy Returns.  This was to feature one Mr, Dewayne THE ROCK Johnson as the Scorpion King but I sat there and watch cgi Scorpion King fight Rick.  It was just bad. HOWEVER, several years later I like the Scorpion King with 1/2 nekkid Rock and Barbarian Michael Clark Duncan (may he rest in peace) that made me happy so I bought the DVD.  But them fools made a Scorpion King 2 and 3 I think with NO Rock so, no thank you!  So yeah I think DEEP thoughts for a long period of time about random ass stuff!!

AND.. the jumbo glass is kicking in right about now!!

I've been hitting the movie hard  here lately.  I saw Top 5 With Chris Rock and the funniest scene was with Cedric and DMX.  It was funny but as I suspected not as funny as everyone said it would be. I saw Beyond the Lights, this one did live up to the hype I think.Then I saw Belle with the same girl from Beyond the lights.Definitely interesting.  I saw Maleficent, The Fault in out Stars, The Giver, Tammy, 2 Guns and..... most of The Wolverine.  I do love Hugh Jackman  but that story line was dumb Dumb DUMB.  I like Wolverine (without the The) and the quick nekkid booty shot they showed.  And WAIT A SECOND... was THE Wolverine a sequel!?!?!? No I had to IMDB it it was X-Men Origins: Wolverine but still no THE.  

Back to it being 2015... I have hung my Obama and my Wine calendars in respective rooms and it has made me smile.  I always look forward to what the new year has in store and this year is no different.  And that is all I have to say about that!!