I really do like weddings! They are festive occasions and happy and people for the most part have fun. This is one of the things I love doing as a bartender. So last night was a wedding and the couple were cute. She had on a beautiful dress and he looked great as well. The thing about this wedding is it was a BLACK wedding. I have done enough to know there are some differences. I have done Indian weddings, white weddings, Jewish weddings, interracial weddings, even Filipino weddings and each have their own set of STUFF!! But last night one of my fellow coworkers was like OH Lord it is one of our weddings so I hope they are ok. I was like WELL it's a wedding so it should be fine. Black folks can be extra for no damn reason and I can check them because game recognize game!! Everything was beautiful. The florist had these purple roses, white hydrangea and peonies. The planning staff flitted about... wait WHY you got on heels ma'am and you know you have to walk around here making sure shit is right. And not only were the heels they were sandal heels so they could not have been comfortable. I worked with one of my bartending buddies who is just too cool for school (and whose name I thought was Carlos LOL) and then there was Marvin.. or wait Melvin? He said it several times but you know how you just look at someone and just refuse to bother? That was me with him. I'm a temp and trust me I know my lane when it comes to working with the 'staff'. I said I had worked at the venue before and then he proceeded to mumble something about how he had to work with temps. At one point I was like WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION? He kept mumbling something about nothing and then I just walked away because I didn't have time!! I prefer working by myself and I took the bar to the far left so I could do my thing. Let me just mention that behind the scenes is ALWAYS organized confusion. A symphony of cluster fuckness that somehow manages to look effortless to the guests. I'm sure I piss people off but the bottom line is IT'S JUST A WEDDING!!! We have all done this before and it will be great so stop being flustered over nothing!! Last week the other bartender who I really can not stand was having a fit over these lamps the manager told her to be careful near. If they break, guess what THEY will buy more!!! SO say one more thing about them and my fist is going straight down your throat... I digress... We talking about this week LOL SO anyway, the attire must have said formal because my people looked GOOD!! Then there was this one guy in just a t-shirt kinda thing and I knew he knew he looked out of place. But he was buff so my thought process for him was he wasn't buying no damn shirt for this woman he don't even know. In my mind his wife knew the bride. They started with cabernet and chardonnay BUT immediately I got folks coming to my bar wanting moscato. You know I cringed, but they slurped up the white zinfandel (more cringeation). The 1 woman drank at least 2 bottle but she claimed she didn't drink that much.. OH mmmkay!! Then there's the damn signature cocktail. I once thought long ago that a signature cocktail was cute but it's not, it's BULLSHIT!! First off it's never a good drink. Last night was Johnny Walker Red, lemon juice, ginger simple syrup and club soda. Does that even sound remotely good?!?! NO!! I'll answer for you NO IT DOES NOT!! I don't normally drink dark so when I made it to try it, it was gross. Folks did like it but I detracted many by asking if they normally drank Johnny Walker. Most said no... so then I made them a vodka or rum drink. Then the tips... I didn't do bad but I did make change for folks a few times. I don't know why but for women I don't mind like OH ok.. yeah sure, change. But for men I'm like if you don't put that fucking $5 in my lil bowl and walk away!?!?!! And then there are those who want the world. You gave me a buck 2 hours ago and now I have to tap dance every time you come to my bar? AND honestly tips are nice to haves not mandatory so I treat everyone the same (or at least I try to). This guy said OH MY too much ice!! Sir the diet coke is warm. Yes but she don't like a lot of ice. SHE'LL be ok... get away from me!! And then the chick who was about to get loud cause her fruity drink had too much juice. Ma'am whet?!?!? Ok more peach schnapps? Sure! And then the woman who probably was the same woman who sent her husband saying it was tooo much ice, You'll be fine! This was close to the end of the night so my level of giving any amounts of anything was gone. Then there were the groomsman who I think were checking me out? So the bar next to your table is empty, I have a line but you still came alla way over to me?!?! And the one who just need a splash of ginger ale? And then the one who was actually a cutie but had a ring on but still got up to catch the garter? Yes a chick was being checked out!! I'm not sure if it's the smile or the boobs!! The dj was good! I sang and danced to most of the songs. This lil boy... well you know everybody is a lil boy or girl... come up and say he's playing to much 'old school'. I wanna say Poison was playing and I size him up and say well how old are you? This fool says guess!! Immediately I'm like well you're a baby buy I say twentysomething but maybe 30...I say 30! HE says all excited yeah I'm 30. Ok 30 so too old to really like the ratchet stuff (even though you do) but not old enough to recognize 'GOOD' music!! LOL And then there is the woman who fell. It would be funny if I saw a video but standing right there... NO that shit was still funny but I couldn't laugh!! And she was ok so calm down if you think I'm a horrible person. That was about it for last night!
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