where do you even buy strawberry champagne?!?! IS THAT BOONES????

first of all DO NOT ask my why I'm putting on lipstick unless you are my man and you are so far from being that!  I wear make-up because that's what I want to do, so it is for myself.  B stop being such a busy body and looking at shit on my desk!  Now granted I am covering for someone so it is technically not my desk, but this is MY space for the next few days, stop barging into like you own it.  And III get a haircut cause you need a line up!! You look like a wet dog!! Lastly as a matter of fact I am going to eat all of the fruits and vegetable on my desk so you asking for 1 of 4 tangerines means I need to eat 1 more when I get home.  These things at rationed my man!!

Wow it has been a day!  So I am recepting!!  I'm not even sure if that is a real word.  SO the woman and man come up and say they have a 2 o'clock. OK with whom?  Both on the rude side and then I'm like well what's your name, and instead of giving me their names their mama gave them, they gave the name of the company.  But that's not what I asked you so I'm a little pissed plus she is sweating bullets and so is he and his shirt needs to be ironed and I notice every wrong thing about them because they have BOTH rubbed me the wrong way.  She needs some WEN and OMG I just saw his short ass skinny brown tie. WHY did you even bother sir? Men have it so easy.  Alls you have to do is throw on a shirt and some dockers, match just a little bit and you good.  How do they get it so drastically wrong I have no idea!!

I totally just ate a bag of Utz that were in the drawer to NOT my desk LOL But I was hungry... well no I was being greedy, and she probably forgot they were there and even if she didn't, my last day is Thursday!!  If they call me back here I'll buy her a bag (maybe).

So the woman came in this morning, very nice and we are just chatting away.  I tell her she has lipstick on her teeth and hand her the box of tissue.  She cleans her teeth, balls up the tissue and proceeds to hand it to my naked hand.  UHH... No I don't want that which is what I said and held up the trash can for her.  WHO DOES THAT!?!? It was such a 'I really know you' kinda move!  Ma'am I have already forgotten your name please don't try me right now!!

Which brings me to the little girl who came in bright and early.  So she mumble the parent name of the company and I say YES you are here, are you here for a meeting?  She mumbles the secondary name of the company. Are you here for training? She says and looks hella confused.  Ma'am I can not read your mind WTF do you want?  Which is what I wanted to say but instead I say well do you know the name of the person you are here to meet?  She say oh well I guess I could call them.  HOW in the world do people get jobs without a basic understanding of how to speak to others? I then say WHAT is your name because obviously my other questions were too difficult.  She then gets on the phone. Someone else walks in says, hello I'm in training today and I need to go to the training room. I look on the calendar and say OH you are on the 1st floor and she says yup I know how to get there.   Lil girl is on the phone with whoever the hell and says the same name of the training New girl who knows her shit.  I say ok you are both on the 1st floor, new girl take lil girl with you.  AND THEN lil girl says oh NOW she know where I need to go to the person on the phone! Without missing even 1/2 a beat I say 5 seconds ago YOU didn't even know where you needed to be!!  Don't try me!! NOT TODAY!!  Not when you have NOOOOOOOO information and came at me totally ill prepared, looking stupid and not having a clue to how to help yourself!  I just don't understand people who just don't have basic BASIC people skills.  Say hello, thank you, it's a lovely day WHATEVER!  And then on the phone KNOW what you want to ask before you call!  I had a woman last week who called at 4:59 and I know I should have just let it go, but NO I answered and this chick took me through the ringer!! She starts telling me a story I say ok well which property because I have to transfer you, she proceeds to start over but it seems like it is another story. MA'AM WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION? She starts YET another story!  At this point I know if I hang up it will be ok, RUDE but ok, but I am really trying to help her.  I'm not sure what else she said but I finally transferred her.  Today a  real little girl called and the mother or adult in the background is like I should have kept it on speaker phone, SAY HELLO!! dammit just give me the phone!!  So why did you allow a baby to call a business office where people are doing BUSINESS (well you know not me) and play on their phone?!?!?

I truly seem to exist in an alternate existence from everyone else.  I mean sometimes I have to laugh to myself because I'm like WHY AM I THE ONLIEST ONE WHO REALIZES STUFF? I guess I am chuckling right now.