I start a lot of blog that never
see the light of day. Sometimes I get so
off topic and digress so much I just stop writing and just save it and forget
about it. And then there are the times
it gets really dark. Sometimes too dark
for me to keep rereading, so those ones get deleted, or saved just for me. And then sometimes I am just plan mean, and
even though I never really use anyone’s name, except in the speed dating blog,
I know that who I’m writing about are some faithful readers and why be mean
just for means sake. Which is why I miss
my co-worker who just abandoned me for the bright lights and more money (but
hella worse commute) for DC. I said one
day that we were the mean girls and she took a little offense. But we were!!
We could find something about anybody to talk about. She started calling this one lady who just
got an office the old lady with the slacks! And don’t let a man walk by, well 2
in particular, 1 who lost a lot of weight and 1 who needed to start dieting
because he was getting really wide and the way his suit jacket hung showed off
his big booty (which I like because who doesn’t like a nice booty!?!). And as I digress yet again because what I
wanted to say is that I wanted to start doing a blog a day for like a
month. But every time I think to do it I
just don’t. I can be real lazy like that. And then some days I have nothing to write
about. I mean how much can I write about
my cat before someone thinks I’m a cat lady.
And since my mom… err I mean roommate moved in with me, how sad is it to
go on and on about our escapades even though she really does say some funny
shit! Like when she asked me if WE had Facebook. Now understand that one of the top reasons
this woman retired was because she didn’t want to use the computer. The school system gave a test or something to
the teachers (she was a teacher) and they said it wasn’t mandatory, so this
fool walked out. Who does that?!? And people wonder why I act like I do, it’s because
of her!! I’m just saying. So yeah WE
have Facebook, but you don’t use the computer so how exactly is that supposed
to work lady? And then the other day she
asked about twitter and I almost fell off my chair. HOW do you know about twitter, I asked. IT was on some random commercial she just
saw. So then she follows up with Well I’m
not gonna be doing any twittering! Yeah I was never worried about that! And
then last night she says to my 8 year old niece, your aunt is doing something
on the typewriter. SO I grab the phone
and ask this little girl if she even knew what a typewriter was. She giggled and said she kinda did but not
really. Typewriter!!?? WOW which made me
think when my grandmother was alive her asking what exactly was e-mail. She was funny too and now that I think about
it the meanness comes from her side and I gotta balance it with the niceness of
my other dearly departed grandmother.
And see this is how the digression goes because now I am sitting here
missing both of them and there cooking cause I’m kinda hungry and I know I need
to get to the little lunch room before noon today because I am NOT waiting in
no damn line today even though the greasy pizza was pretty good yesterday and I
forgot to leave a little tip for the cashier because she was very helpful as I
stood there bewildered for a minute and LORD thank you to the people you put in
my life because being bewildered is often a continuous state for me like the
day I left my coffee in the car and who can start a day without coffee? NOT Me
that’s for sure so when she said go to your desk and get it later I DID because
I needed a minute to regroup which again a constant state for me bewilderment
and then regrouping and WHY did this fool wear a side ponytail her ass is way
too old to rock that, but then I guess it detracts from the tacky ass outfit
she has on, but not really, how does one dress so tacky every single freaking
day?? But she has donuts so I guess I can be nice for a minute…
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