Happy New Year!! It is the year of our Lord 2017. I didn't do a year in review mainly because I can't seem to get myself together enough to get anything done. Although I must admit yesterday I had 5 calls to make, I wrote everything down, and I made all the calls. This is not the norm for me. I am so scatter brained most days it's not even funny. Today I did the 2 things oh no wait 4 things... I got 4 things done that was on my mental list of things to do.
This new year is going to be a good one!! I have to stay positive and hopeful because that is truly alls I got right now. The job search is going nowhere fast. Let's just say this is probably the crux of my angst. It is both humiliating and humbling to apply for jobs I know I am way over qualified for and then try to rationalize other jobs that I might have transferrable skills but don't fit the exact requirements. I often wonder how anyone gets any job ever. LOL It just seems like a random pit of despair especially when I'm not working. I know mortgage is due and all the other 50eleven bills and commitments but how in the world did I get here and not have a plan b? That's a lie, I have a plan A, B AND C but at the moment none are working like I need for them to. SO I need to craft plans D through at least J. I feel lazy and at the same time like I am doing everything I can do.
No is a complete thought and sentence. It felt WONDERFUL to text it, mean it, and move on!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar said something recently about how the Bachelor (yes the TV show) gives a false sense of hold up let me look it up... OH he said it's killing romance. Read the article here. SO this is what happens when you don't hit save and walk away... shit gets lost!!! WHAT I HAD TYPED was... If I were to believe what I saw I would have to be 20 something and white, preferably blond hair and a size nothing to fall in love. So forget about me being black and over 40 and natural hair with an ample amount of curves. But I am a hopeful romantic! I still think it's in the cards for me. I still believe my king will come and sweep me off my feet!! I deserve to be swept up. I have kissed enough frogs!! What prompted this is a whole lot of random things. Like an ex telling me (a while ago which is why he's an ex) that this aint a fairy tale and we got adult shit to do... WELL yes but what I asked of you wasn't even all that much so!? Then a cousin I have who posts eye rolling things about her family, but why not her?!? Why shouldn't she get what we all want? To the commercial of the princess trying to be rescued by the prince but after the kiss she just wants him to go away. Plus a whole lot of other things. I had a train of thought but I think I got off before it was completed. OH YEAH LOVE... I love love!! The idea of it, the actuality of it but it seems to keep passing me by. Maybe it will happen this year that I go on successful dates AND have some meaningful love, from the opposite sex (oh and good sex cause that's important too) not just the unconditional cat love LOL
My mother (aka the roommate) is a retired teacher. Sometimes she wakes up mid lesson I guess from the dream she was having to teaching the non-existent classroom and proceeds to teach. Most of the time it's pretty comical. Today she was telling 'us' that we needed to complete the gleaners and return them to the chairperson. She couldn't remember who that person was (I was SURE she was gonna say Deacon Yuille who has been dead for a few years now but he did make it to 100) but we should complete them with our pennies and turn them in. One day she was very adamant about the use of the TH in words like the, those, them. 'We' needed to practice because 'we' have to be sure to use words correctly. Keep in mind she taught Social Studies (world history, civics, African American history etc) she was not an English teacher so I was very perplexed as to why we needed this lesson. That would be until one of my caregivers came in talking about her muva and bruva. Keep in mind I love my caregivers!! They are the blessings I didn't even know I needed, but this one in particular can kill the king's English. I cringe sometimes because she'll say strimp and prestription and other just wrong as hell stuff. I guess my mom got tired of it and decided to teach her how to speak correctly. Only problem was she dreamed it and when she woke up I was the onliest person there for the lesson.
My mind has been put at ease but yet I'm still stressed. It's a good stress though, so we'll see how it all works out!!
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