I am sitting at the library today in Woodlawn mainly because I get nothing done at home. I've stated this before that when I'm home since I'm 'working from home' I need space between me and what the hell ever needs to get done at the crib... so that is the setting for this lovely blog!!
The more funerals I go to the more I know that I do not want a traditional nothing when it comes to my home going celebration. And it will be a celebration. So I went to a funeral last week and... ok here goes. Dead people are dead, the look dead and I don't do well with looking at them for more than a few seconds. My grandmother is about the last person I actually stood there and really looked good and hard at. I was distraught and there were so many people and I just needed to give her a full once over. Even for my dad. I did the obligatory viewing and I was done. I mean I was distraught for him too, but it was just different. I think I knew my father was going to die, but for my grandmother well BOTH of them I didn't really consider death as an option and when it happened I just didn't take it well. I understand funerals are meant for the family. I came to this church and sat in the back and then said uuhh... yeah I guess I need to go to the front. My girlfriends step mother passed away really rather unexpectedly and her dad is taking it hard. Ok so... I'm getting to sad and there were way to many things that made this day hilarious! Here goes... When I walked into the church the man usher just about knocked me down because someone had left their walker in the parking lot. I'm thinking they left it there and most likely was put into a wheelchair; it's okay if it stays there for a few more minutes. He was a was a little over the top so I really tried to let it go. Whatever is in your closet that you have to wear needs to cover all of the body parts you have. One young lady had on this tank top that I'm sure belonged to her elementary school aged child. It didn't cover enough of anything. Then there were the hard core church women who had on pantyhose! I try not to wear pantyhose EVER and definitely not in the summer. My lady parts do not need to be trapped by nylon. Then the soloist... OK so on a good day I can carry a tune and sing right along with the best of them. This man started the music at a volume I guess meant for all the angels to hear and the organist covered her ears like WTH?!?!? She then proceeds to leave the organ while he comes around and takes the mic which thankfully was not on. I can't even remember the song, but he sings it with gusto and my face was like uuuhhh..... OH the organist who only had to play one song played it so slow; this was where my thoughts wondered to yeah my fune will NOT be like that!! They had a representative from the deacon and deaconess board. The woman for the deaconess board talked for a good 3 minutes about how she wasn't sure if she knew the deceased and again my face was like uuuhhhh.... BUT THEN she remembered and how she always had her bible. It was long. Then the pastor. I probably should have led this whole thing off with I am a church kid, meaning I know how things at church should work and I know all the churchy sayings. Salvation is the end result and living as Christ would have us live. I get it! We as Christians do not want non-believers to end up in eternal damnation. But what you will do is have a sermon prepared with your scripture and 3 points! I am used to that. I am used to the pastor being prepared. I can even take a pastor preaching off the cuff because some are just that good. But this man was not prepared every other word he said in addition to AMEN was you have to get saved or you have to know Jesus. He started with saying he had 3 points which turned into 4 and then back to 3. I started taking notes until he kept flipping throughout the bible finding scriptures. He was all over the place and then a few folks started to leave. WHEW it was mess. At one point I think the undertaker said take your time but we were all like PLEASE just go ahead and get finished pastor. And he did and the soloist sang again which again was bad. and then getting out of the church was just like getting out of church SLOW! I'm acting like I was in a major rush which I was not. THIS IS WHAT I WANT: I can't decide if I want everyone to wear pink OR if I want everyone to wear their own favorite color. I am going to curate a playlist for the wake and the funeral/memorial service. I can't decide it I want to be cremated although I also think I am going to give my body to science so they can figure things out and/or donate what they can use for folks who need organs, eyes, and skin (I know that's gross but it is a need). I've heard that you can't have a tattoo which hopefully has or will change by the time I leave this earth. I just want people to be happy that they knew me and I really want it to be a celebration. Death should be celebrated. I know folks will be sad initially and grieve for however long they need to, but it will be a party!!
I went to the Summer Fest which was a music event in Columbia MD. The main acts were Janelle Monae, Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, The Roots, Kindred. IT. WAS. HOT!!! I'm fascinated by how people dress. I am conservative mostly all the time. I don't like tight things and I don't put the girls on display on purpose, but they are huge so you gonna see them no matter what. But some of the outfits were just horrible. And as I was looking at the women AND men I know some of these were really thought out! One dude who had his umm... so he had a lot goin on (lets just say it was hard to look away LOL) he had white with silver on his shirt that matched the silver belt buckle to hold up his white shorts and silver tennis shoes; he thought that thing out! Now that I'm thinking about him I am forgetting some of the ratchedness LOL So yeah there's that...
It has been a little cooler that normal earlier this week but then it got hot again today! So I had a lot of appreciation for the man that was walking up the hill with his shirt off with all of his chocolatey goodness. I don't think he was a kid although I do tend to call anyone in their 20's little boys. But you could tell he works out, and to him a say thank you!!
There is man sitting in a chair behind me. I feel like he is watching me but I can't be sure. I'm gonna get up and get a good look at him. He is paying me NO attention LOL... ok carry on with your day!!
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