I've been on a bit of a cupcake quest for a few weeks now! I'm not sure if I'm looking for the perfect one OR if it is my goal to eat every cupcake available to make sure they are good for the masses. It started when I went to Charlotte. I had one that had like a molten something or another inside but it was way to dense and didn't really hit the spot. Next was St. Patrick's Day weekend, when at 5:30 at night after having done NOTHING all day I decided I needed a cupcake. I went online and saw a cupcakery on Charles. Now if you know Baltimore the streets like Charles, Pratt, Northern Parkway go from AAALLL the way East to AAALLL the way west. This was on EAST Charles although I went to West Charles and had to go back th other way which ended up being in Federal Hill. I'm not a fan of going places where parking is like a hunt. I actually don't mind paying for parking but I wasn't paying when I knew I was just gonna be in and out. This is about 6:30 in the evening and the 20 year olds are already drunk and loud at the various spots in Federal Hill. I finally find a parking spot, which was TIGHT, but me and the hooptie can fit in just about anywhere. I walk to the place, try and avoid the drunkards and the men at the homeless shelter O_o and get to the place. I had already decided I was going to get 2, but then after I placed my order the little girl said oh you're gonna be sorry you didn't get the salted caramel. I am such an easy target and easy sale so of course I say WELL then I NEED the salted caramel!! I had that, the Irish creme and the Black Velvet, both of these were supposed to be infused with alcohol. I didn't taste much of anything. The name of this place is Midnight Cupcakery and I will definitely be back on that random day that I can't live the rest of my life without a cupcake. Then there was the Food Truck event on a pretty chilly Friday. This was in Hampden which is hipster city and parking sucks donkey nuts so I drive past the Keswick Castle, ask the little cutie patootie security guard if there was parking and he said there is one spot I said WELL CAN I HAVE IT?!?! You have to ask because you just never know. So I had prime parking to indulge my inner piggie. I went to The Jolly Pig and had 2 pulled pork tacos and then if that weren't enough I went to the Kommie Pig and had a hot dog with spicy pulled chicken AND THEN I went the the Flavor Cupcake truck to get CUPCAKES!!! Now their claim to fame is that they won the 4th season of Cupcake wars on the Food Network. I got the salted caramel (which I guess I might be slightly addicted to) and some other chocolate one...LAWD I can't remember. Ummmm... I don't know, but I'm pretty sure they didn't win with those cupcakes!! They weren't bad, but they were all that great either. If I put anything down like 'fuck it I am not wasting those calories' then that is not a good sign. Just as a side bar Iced Gems, which is another cupcakery that has a food truck had a BANGING salted caramel!!
I remember as a kid when we would come down here from Pittsburgh my parents and other older family members fussing about 495 and the damn circles in DC. Well Baltimore has finally caught up to it's DMV sister DC metro area and has embraced the use of those freaking traffic circles! I honestly think there are government officials in the county and state sitting around like OH we have nothing better to do, let's slap a traffic circle on every possible corner in and around Baltimore. There is one in Woodlawn near the Merritt Athletic club that is just there FOR NO GOOD REASON!! Nothing a stop or yield sign could not have worked. You see skid marks all on it because no one slows down they just keep right on driving. The most recent one is the one at Greens Lane and Old Court ***LOUD SIGH*** this is a hindrance to me now EVERYDAY as I try to get to and from work. Now for the most part I get this one. People coming down Greens Lane trying to make a left have an awful time. So now just go in the circle and you're good. Now here is where the dilemma begins. Traffic circles are meant for cars to yield, NOT STOP and wait 5 minutes before NO ONE else is in the damn circle, just yield and keep it moving!! But there is always that one car out of every 5-8 cars that just stops and waits like DO I GO?!?! NOW?!? CAN I GO NOW??! HOW ABOUT NOW?!?!? As you sit and wait your turn to YIELD, that fool has slowed the whole process down and I fuss but he can't hear me saying JUST DRIVE DAMMIT!!! Just drive!
How does one get the job of sign holder? You know the guys that stand on the corner and promote whatever restaurant, store or apartment building! And then when you get the job I'm pretty sure eating chicken wings is not part of the job description which is EXACTLY what the little boy was doing when I went to go get some chicken wings at the Buffalo Wild Wings WHICH by the way are freaking delicious! So the 2 dudes that have this job today near my job were so uninspiring. It was for the apartment complex nearby and they both looked like Hey you wanna live here? NO ok well neither do I!!
I have been nerding out this week! Ok so you know there are like a 50elevenmillion features and formulas in Excel YES EXCEL!?!? The spreadsheets. So I've been tasked to... well to put it bluntly... figure shit out!! So now I have a stack of pages from various site and forums to help me as I trudge along. So initially my manager was like oh yeah just do a v-lookup and pull the information from the other spreadsheet. So as any good contractor employee I give her a nice blank stare and nod like OH YEAH SURE a v-lookup no problem!! Cause I am getting paid to know stuff and I do know STUFF but some stuff I just don't know. Figuring out how to actually do that took help from several co-workers. I mean this thing sought after so much so that in some job descriptions it say MUST KNOW HOW TO USE V-LOOKUP!! The even hired a chick who was a v-lookup 'expert'. NOW if you need a v-lookup I am the chick to come see cause I figured that shit out and I am the expert!! The next thing is the Concatenate feature. What I needed was easy. At leaset I thought it would be easy, but nothing, NO THING is easy when microsoft is involved. What I needed to do was put 2 cells together and then once those cells were together I needed to put that column of information together into one cell. EASY right!?!? Yeah not so much. I figured out the 1st part but then I had to go to the actual excel expert who is this older white guy who I'm not entirely sure he can see... well ok he is that guy who even though he has on glasses he takes them off and holds the paper an inch from his eye, which is slightly funny but not really cause you look at him like is he ok?!? But he knows what the hell he's doing and I for one am going to use him when I need excel help!! So he comes to my desk after a meeting we had where he sits and clicks his pen the ENTIRE meeting and I look around like does anyone hear this but me!!? But no one will look at him to say hey buddy cut that shit out!! And I always seem to sit across from him or else I would grab his hands. I forgot he was also the guy who after I got all my relaxer cut out and came to the meeting with my coiled up hair he sat between me and another co-worker with natural hair and we were talking. He then goes Oh yeah what is the difference between a perm and a relaxer because I heard there was difference!! I said well a relaxer is for African Americans (I try to be PC in the work place LOL) whose hair is more tightly curled, whereas white people who's hair is usually straighter use a perm to curl their hair.... he was like OOOOHHH... I think I woulda died if he asked to touch my hair!! LAWD I just I digressed. So... HE comes to my desk, I explain what I need he was still a little confused until I showed him the direction I needed to go and some random website and forum. He figured it out in like 2 minutes, I put my little spin on what I needed and did a little happy dance!! He wasn't expecting that I have been happy dancing myself silly this week hopefully not scaring the folks around me because it involves either a finger snap or clap followed by a HEY!! LOL Yes I am a nut!!
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