So we are right at the last few days of 2010 and I have to say I am SO FREAKING GLAD THIS YEAR IS OVER!!! Now I know.. i know; it could have been much worse, but it feels like the challenges I have faced this year are enough to make up a few lifetimes! And just recently I have decided to STOP comparing my life over the past several years and just focus more on the present. Because I honestly have been driving myself crazy... and who wants that? Not me!! That's for sure.
Jobs
I started this year with a job and I'm ending this year with a job... so that's good right?!? Again, something I am trying to do or NOT do is define myself by having a job or not. It is just soooo very stressful to not have a job and still have to maintain a living. My standard of living has fallen significantly. I have been on a 'needs only' basis for longer than I care to admit. So it has been really easy for me to talk myself out of any extras because I truly could not afford it. But I think it has made me a better person... at least I hope.
I maintained my grind with all my 50eleven jobs. Still a little discontent that I haven't found a little bar to be bartender at; but that just means I gotta get my stuff together and open my own little spot. One of my temp gigs, I sorted the little tags that they put on the hanger for suit sizes. I really almost had a breakdown as I laughed about how the hell I was gonna put that on my resume! It was funny, sad, and very humbling.
This year I have worked with some GREAT people and some horrible people and I always wonder how the horrible ones got to be where they are. Yet another thing that could drive a chick crazy. But Karma, as I always say, is a bitch, so I believe I am making up for something(s) I have done but I know my reward will be great at some point.
Travel
I am a chick who likes to travel several times a year so the fact that Pittsburgh, my home town, was a major destination was sadder than sad!! LOL Not that I do not enjoy being with my family and specifically my mother, I needed a beach! And I am going to make it to at least one beach next year so that is something to look forward to. I did make it to Atlanta this spring, and I had a blast that weekend as I helped celebrate my cousin soror's 25 distinguished years in Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. I need to get my butt active again so that there will be a celebration for me in about 10 years... oh wait... 9 years!! I been a soror for 16 years!! WOW!!!
So the destination next year is Dominican Republic. I have a big cheesy grin on my face as I type about all the beautiful men that are going to be there. Me gusta un latino!! See I gotta get my Spanish together!! I would also like to make it to Miami and Chicago and New Orleans... but the budget may only include 1 good trip, and that is really ok with me. As long as a beach is involved, OH and some fruity libations, it's good!!
I just tortured myself by watching the Best Beaches in Mexico and now Jamaica undercover is on. It is nice to look at a beach even if it's just on the TV
Family
All of my nieces and nephews are getting SO BIG!! I even kept my littlest nephew at 2 even though he is 3 because I just couldn't keep up with all the... well I don't know what my excuse is for that one. My oldest nephew is 22 and that make me gasp when I say it out loud. I mean he is legal and EVERYTHING. I just can't take it all.
We had our family reunion this year and it was great to see everyone and meet family members I had never met before. I enjoyed the weekend but I was one of the hostesses so it was 'working' vacation. 2 people who came didn't make it through the end of the year. You just never know when sometimes the last time you see someone is really going to be the last time!
Music
I didn't buy to much stuff this year, but I did just get Fantasia and Kem. Both cd's are pretty darn good. It just floors me when some artist 'make it' and others don't. I still don't get the whole Justin Bieber thing, or Lady Gaga which were more mainstream; as for the R&B folks... i don't get the Keri Hilson, Melanie Fiona and Ciara thing. They all are just so regular to me, like nothing all that special.
But then again I love my independent artists so i guess I like the more different people. Like who?!?! Well I'm glad you asked!! I just discovered or rediscovered N'Dambi. She is really slept on, like many artist, but that song 'Can't Hardly Wait' I just LOVE IT!! There of course is a potty mouth version that I can never seem to find... but here's the cd sampler. Now what's crazy is this is kinda how I was with Eric Robeson, although with him I saw him perform several times and then I became like a mega fan. I have yet to see her perform, but it's like I've know she was around but just kinda 'discovered' her again. What I do know is she was one of the background singers for Erykah Badu.
Nothing else happened that seemed to big on the music scene for me.
Men
**LOUD OBNOXIOUS SIGH** Ok so not one of my stellar years for relationships. I mean all I need is one good one right? One I should have just kept that nonsense right in the past, the other I think I thought I wanted to be with him... but well what had happened is we just didn't click (and that is putting it mildly and very PC).
AND... moving on!!
The System - aka trying to get over...
This was not my goal this year, but I tell you when you make a call where they either put you on hold or disconnect you altogether or give you a bad number to get to a person who never calls you back to get some basic services, yeah you feel like working the system for all it's worth. And then after a few days of cooling off and rethinking just what the hell you are doing... you try again and get someone who actually can and will help and so your issues get resolved. It's a labyrinth. What's bad is with every THING (housing assistance, taking class to make myself marketable, and most recently my janky health insurance) it can drive a chick to drink... and since I already drink I DRANK MORE!!! And each of the various services that are set in place to help people, you have to figure out what hoop to jump through and then figure where they want you to jump... it's all so very exhausting. For the house you have to tell your whole life story only for them to want more documentation only for them to lose it so you have to start the process all over. With the class, because I had a job (even though grossly underemployed) I was told I was 'employable' so the state couldn't authorize me to use money set aside for people who are EXACTLY in my situation. AND lastly the insurance... they dropped me then the labwork got submitted but now they picked my back up and to be honest I have no good idea what I'm supposed to pay; so I'ma give it a few more weeks before I call and see.
The Good and The Bad
For what it's worth as low as I have felt and been, I still think I had more ups than downs. I mean I still have my house, my health, and my sanity AND that's really saying something. My goal for the past several years has been to be a better me... and I still think that's a lofty goal, but I might need to be a little more specific. I think I'm going to start working on my bucket list. One of those goals is to run a marathon, and since i like neither running NOR sweating this one is going to be a challenge. Another one is to meet Regis Philbin... I don't know why I just want to. So I might have to go hang out in random spots in NYC.
That's it... my year in quick review format for all to see... err I mean my 5 readers to see!!
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