i couldn't think of a title that what had happened to the last blog...

I totally wrote a blog last Friday and then totally deleted it!  I do remember something about me being excited about getting a massage WHICH I did get and it was wonderful.  I really do like groupon and living social because even though I missed the deal it still pointed me in the direction of a nice little spot in Catonsville. I was knocked OUT!  I had an add on foot scrub and he, oh yeah I have this cute little guy as my masseuse, asked my how it was.  I was like I'm sure it was great but I was totally sleep!

And then I think I talked about orange and pumpkin, because this time of year is all about color and flavor.  I bought the 2 glass containers from the Dollar store which are orange and I limited myself to 2 because we all know I could have bought ALL of the orange glass bottles because... I have hoarding tendencies. And then there is the pumpkin which is every freaking where!  So people have gone to the extreme with the pumpkin spice latte, but I really do like the pumpkin and I used to really look forward to going to the IHOP to get the pumpkin pancakes.  I mean I still do but since it is everywhere it's not as special as it used to be.  There was a whole pumpkin display at the Giant and I only bought (ONLY LOL) the pumpkin crackers and pumpkin sauce. The cracker has cranberries and sunflower seeds similar to the crackers I got at Trader Joes and I really need to go BACK to Trader Joes to get that bomb ass soft goat cheese.  The sauce I made the other day and for some reason I put WAY to many red pepper flakes in the sauce.  It just needed  something and that wasn't it but I'm still going to eat it because... PUMPKIN!!

Today's Bing pic is a high level picture of the Hoover Dam. I remember as a kid going on a tour was it a church group?!? Yeah it had to be because we were in Las Vegas for the Progressive National Convention for my grandmother who was in office as either the VP or the president of the Women.  That was a big deal and she took conventioning so seriously LOL but so this is about the other grandmother who didn't take the convention as seriously and needed a lil shopping and a lil tour to break up the meetings and sermons.  So she was always giving me her camera to take pictures.  And that was back in the day when there were actual cameras and actual film. We were only a few steps away from polaroids.  So anyway she handed me the camera and I opened the back thinking it needed film but it already had film and I messed up ALL of the pictures because it was all exposed.  And I felt so bad because she didn't have another roll of film.  And then we went to a buffet place for lunch and I almost got left cause I was taking to much time in the bathroom.  And that is my memory!!

Everyone has black or something dark on today including me and I probably should have worn yellow or pink because it is such a gloomy day.

I have worn these braids I currently have since 8/27/15 and it literally just occurred to me as I looked in the mirror and said to myself Chick, you need to take these shits OUT this weekend.  I now have a plan for my weekend, although I would like to do something during the Free Fall Baltimore.  I always miss out.  Tomorrow is the free Baltimore Zoo from 10-4.  I have 1/2 a mind to play hooky, but I do enjoy eating and buying stuff from the QVC and my hours are already crazy for this week so maybe I'll take off a few hours.  I have been living in Baltimore for 20 years and have not been to the Zoo or Aquarium and that is kinda sad.  SO the Zoo is about the only thing I want to do... and the only other thing "August Wilson's 'Fences' is sold out.  so we'll see how tomorrow goes.

staring monsters in their face... with grace!

I have managed to not lotion my calves for pretty much the whole summer.  I get my thighs and my feet but for some reason the calf is just too much.  Today on this chilly almost fall day I decided to wear capris.  I just looked down and wouldn’t ya know it ASH!!  I must do better, ash is never acceptable.

There is just so much on my mind at any given moment I really have to remind myself to just breathe and stop thinking. 

One of my co-workers who I actually like (imagine that!?!?) just told me his ear drums were blown by how loud my music was in my car in the parking lot.  I am only slightly embarrassed.  I gotta get my mind right before I get in this place and granted I listen to music most of the time, I can’t really sing at the top of my lungs like I can in the hooptie.  Today’s selection was Jill Scott’s WOMAN.  When I tell you don’t get stuck on that song they play on the radio I mean it!  Fool’s Gold is good, but the majority of the cd is GREAT!! Do I go through each song or give you the highlights?!?!? I only don’t like about 2 ½ song.  That ½ is cause I gotta listen real good before I can say yay or nay.  ‘Wild cookie’ is spoken word over a beat.  We all know what the cookie is?!?  It’s not really a sex song but more of an intro to the CD.  my favorite line… ‘you could get a coupla things, but THINGS are THINGS!!’ Next is ‘Prepared’.  This one you could kinda tell she was writing and then just said THIS GON BE A SONG!! ‘Run, run, run’ is one of the songs I’m not really feeling.  I think it’s supposed to be a throwback to like a 60’s doo wop kinda song.  But next… OH the next song, this needs a little build up.  NeoSoul Café is one of the internet stations I listen to and found back when I was trying to find a non-blocked stream of music at one of the 50eleven contract site, and this is pre-iPod.  So anyway this station has a soundcloud of mixes.  Actually they used to have a bunch of mixes from a lot of different dj’s. This mix I listened to was from Will Downing.  He does The Wind Down soul session.  Not really my typical work day music because will he winding down and I need to be amped up to work up in here!!  First time I listen to the mix, first song a voice comes on ‘I got something on my back that I need to get off baby….’ Wait I know this voice. Who is this?!?!  At this point we all know I have stopped working and I am trying to find the track listing.  No list written anywhere; so I continue listing and then he FINALLY gets back on the mic to say that was Jill Scott ‘Can’t Wait’. I’m already not working and I immediately go to Amazon and buy the cd.  This song is FIYAH!!! There are so many layers to it that it seems each time I hear something new. I think it is my favorite on the cd.  She is in love and she got so much shit to do be she can't wait to be loved by you!!  ‘Lighthouse’ is next it has a trap beat (am I using that right?!? I am going to you tube it… yep I’m using it right!!), so it’s up-tempo. Lay your burdens down lay them down.  It’s funny how that is a thing, trap music. ‘Fool’s Gold’ is what you will hear on the radio and it’s ok… but it is the typical he-did-me-wrong-but-ima-be-alright kinda song.  Just like really girl?!?!  ‘Willing’ is an interlude.  It’s saying you want me to be all these things, loyal, flawless etc… but you are NOT willing to do the same.  Cause that is the norm (most) men always want what they won’t do themselves. ‘Closure’ is the comedy but oh so true song. When you break up sometimes you need a last romp to make sure you made the right decision and/or it was good but there needs to be more to the relationship.  Miss Jill is very clear in this song we DID break up and I aint cooking you no breakfast neither.  At the end the guy says ‘the closure starts today!?’ and I laugh every time I hear the song. ‘You don’t know’ is a song she sang on one of them award shows earlier in the year to get us ready for this cd.  This is so full of life!  So like if you never ____________(fill in the blank) then you don’t know nothing about LOVE!! She is pouring her heart out.  This is ALL she got left to give! ‘Pause’ follows in the vein of ‘Hear my call’ this is a plea ‘It’s me… I’m calling to schedule a nervous NO make that NECCESARY breakdown!’ Maybe why I like this cd so much is because it speaks to my soul right now.  ‘Cruisin’ on the evening breeze to clear my mind… take my time so I can breathe!! YES!!  ‘Say thank you’ is that ½ song.  I gotta listen again cause I’m just not sure about it. Yeah nah… not my thing. This is where I get stuck cause after ‘Cruisin’ I generally done… ‘Back together’ (is nice i forgot about this one), ‘Coming to you’ (the other one I don’t like), ‘Jayrah…’ (a song for her son).  Finally ‘Beautiful love’ is a duet by someone I don’t know but you know… google.  His name is BJ the Chicago kid.  He has a really nice voice and the song is really nice.  So yes run don’t walk to your nearest wrecka sto and get you WOMAN by Jilly from Philly!! 

One of my other co-workers brought in some old bay cheese puffs.  I am so trying not to be that chick but I want to eat them ALL!!! They are sooooo good and they have a slight hint of staleness which makes them even better I don’t know why, it just IS better.  What I really want to do is stuff as many cheese balls into my mouth and crunch down like I did when I was a kid, but I am trying to keep it cute.  I asked her where she got them and then said NO WAIT don’t tell me because I will be a glutton if they reside in my house.  I don’t handle snacks well in my house.  I didn’t grow up with them and I don’t ration them out well.  So when I buy chips I eat a few the first day, but then I eat the rest of the bag.  It’s a wonder the wasabi ginger Lay's have made it longer than a few days; maybe becasue they are kettle chips and that takes more effort to chew?!!

i'm the BOSS lady, busy handling and managing...

I do try to be an unpetty as possible.  Some days are good and some weeks I can go on and on without coming up for air with the amount of pettiness I can spew.  Here lately because I am so aware of it, it has lessened a bit OH BUT it’s still there right in the middle of my thoughts, not the back nor the forefront, but the middle.  Kinda like middle earth (LOL for my Hobbit/Lord of the ring people… I said the other day that one of my co-workers looked like Viktor Krum and I got a good old blank stare.  Yes I’m  a nerd I own it… and I’m digressing).  I was reading some old blogs and I remember how I worked at a small office and I had a name for everybody the Tweedles, RedNECK, and what was the other one?!?!  Anyway no one here has really inspired a name well at least not anyone on my immediate team but I do have a few.  Wanna hear em?  Here they go… 2 are butt related because well something about a butt just makes me either laugh or stop and stare.  In this case I stop and stare at Sturdy Booty.  Sturdy Booty is a white woman who I have no idea what her name is but she used to sit not too far from me.  It’s sturdy not just because the size of it, but don’t get me wrong, IT’S BIG!  But then she clomps by like a freaking horse.  You know I have a thing about women not being dainty.  Not that I’m the daintiest chick in the world but I am stealth!  You don’t hear me coming unless I want you to, I could be a spy!!  Today she is in the kitchen and clomps by and I had to stop and see what monstrosity was on her feet.  She had these beige patent leather (yo I’m not even going there… but really PATENT LEATHER?!?!? In beige??? Which I guess could be called nude but ANYWHO.... **update** i saw 3 other women today with beige patent leather so maybe I am not the fashion forward one here LOL) with some patterned pants and nothing looked like it went together and I’m getting lost in my story. Alls I’m tryna say is Sturdy Booty is now and forever shall be her name.  And then there is a black guy, now his booty is not big, but (ha ha BUT) he still has a booty name.  His name is prissy booty.  He has a little switch and he may be straight as an arrow (I don’t judge!) but he is just a prissy man.  Not that anything is wrong with that, some men just are.  Just like some women are NOT.  Then we have the troll series. LAWD I’m so mean.  So we have Blond Troll, Black Blond Troll, Big Troll. They are short and mean looking chicks, cause you know I’m such a tall chick so I can talk about short chicks. AND THEN ok last one... Bollywood.  Now this particular man just looks like the lead in any given Bollywood production, he’s pretty with thick long black hair. So this one is less mean (I think).  These are my thoughts today!

The whole republican party is a joke to me.  I really have not been paying that much attention but I do know that Donald Trump is not real life.  He is going to be NO ONE's president and this is a distraction from something else.  And then that idiot Sarah Pallin ( I saw on someones page) goes on to say she would be a good energy secretary but that she would let the states decide what they do with the natural resources.  AND THEN Huckabee and Ted Cruz are just as big idiots supports that woman in Kentucky who decided to not give marriage licenses to gay couple because it is not God's will.  I don't know what God she serves but clearly it aint he one I do. Not to mention it's the freaking law and that is your job so if you really feel that way, get another job!!  It really would be interesting if she would have gotten the same 'support' if she was black or another religion.

I've said it before and I'll probably KEEP saying it.  Teeth are important.  If you smoke or do drugs or just don't do whatever it is that you need to do to keep your teeth and that leads to you losing your teeth, go buy you some!!  It is 2015.  My grandfather back in the 80's lost every single tooth in his 
head but he went out and bought him some!!  Same with my Aunt Lilly... she bought her some!  Sometimes alls you need is a few teeth... so go out and get you a partial plate. Alls I'm saying is there is no good reason unless you are like allergic to the plastic or something drastic like that, that you should smile and not have no damn teeth.  AND THEN even though you aint got no teeth, how is that you pull men/women?!?!  **SMH** i just don't get it and I need for someone to splain it to me like I'm a 4 year old. 

A few people have really disappointed me lately but then I have to take a step back and refer to my old standby, The Four Agreements.  This little bit of literary genius is in my bathroom so I've been doing a little reading when I... uhhh... GO!! The main one i go to is 'Don't take anything personal' and i do try but that doesn't always alleviate the hurt feelings that as a human being I feel when someone let's me down or when I expect more from you.  But that's MY expectation and you a grown ass adult just like me you should do you boo boo... just like I am so hard trying to do me.   

Moscato is a real wine and it's okay for everyone to like it but me.  I just got a bottle in my $99 box-o-wine and I am already making plans to give it away.  It might actually be good but I will probably never know.  

I need for the people to finish all the lines at the McDonough and Painters Mills intersection because mofos can barely drive as it is so WHY should I expect them to see the little lines drawn in?  I find myself doing a whole lot of extra cursing at this stupid intersection like WHY THE FUCK DID YOU JUST MAKE A NEW LANE?!?!? Can't you see the fucking lines like I just saw them?  WHY are you getting from behind me to make a new lane?!?!  Oncoming traffic I know be saying the same thing.  

About a week ago I went into my downtown Woodlawn braiding shop, ask the owner's sister if I could come back the next day at 4:30, she says no come at 4 cause a 1/2 hour makes a difference so that's what I do.  I rush home, pick out my hair, blow dry it to make it a little straighter and go into the the shop.  There are 3 braiders, 1 of whom is the owners sister who says to me, can I help you like she never ever ever saw me in her whole entire life.  I was like YEAH I came in yesterday, remember?  **blank stare** You told me to come in at 4. **more blank staring** UUuuuhhh so can you braid my hair or what?!?! At this point I'm thinking is she kidding, serious, or am I on punk'd?!?!?  Cause I can carry myself and my freshly washed hair to the place up at Security and they won't give me no grief... WELL yes they will because ALL African braiding shops give EVERY black woman and child grief about something or another.  SO I sit down and let her calculate time, money and effort cause I can see it on her face.  She calls another braider but somehow I missed that step.  So after about 20 minutes, it's now close to 4:30 to original time I said I could come in but SHE insisted I come in at 4 which I did so she gets hair and asks me what color I want.  ALTHOUGH in retrospect if I had come at 4:30 she would said something stupid like come back tomorrow so yeah... 4PM  

I almost cringe when folks ask how my mom is.  I know I probably scared my co-worker today.  I had the good fortune to call at the exact moment the doctor was in the front office and she answered a few of my questions and is going to refill my mom's prescription.  She then says I'm putting her on hold to her assistant and then like lays the phone down and I can hear everything.  Thank LBJ nothing real personal was said because that would have been several HIPAA (or HIPPA?) violations.  I say hello HELLO CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?!? My co-worker comes over and says OH not to put any pressure on you BUT I NEED THIS TODAY!!  I'm like ok let me look AND then she says Oh I'm sorry are you on the phone? I said yes but they have me on hold **air quotes** and I need to ask something about my mom.  And then she says well is your mom ok?  I say oh not at all!!  People expect you to say everything is fine, and most of the time I indulge them because who wants to go into and even hear the gory details?   Her face was like OH LAWD I'M SORRY I ASKED but then also, Well what is the problem?  People want to know but not really.  I don't take for granted the time I have with my mother.  Both of my grandmothers lost their mothers at a very young age and I know it has to be hard to not have your mother around.  But this woman is not the same woman I grew up with.  The fearless do everything woman is now the afraid of the slightest touch and just leave me alone woman and it's hard some days.  

Here's something funny/ridiculous... my evil neighbor (well her daughter and the band of thugs she runs with... thug is an accurate term here) has set up a used car lot in her yard.  I am so tempted to call the county and be like Can someone please come out and look at this shit?!?!?  My lawn dude and my handyman (oh yeah I had to replace my hot water tank... thank LBJ I could afford to do so) were both like, you KNOW that is illegal and you should call the county?!?!?  I just want to see how long before it is closed down.  My thought is that is really isn't a used car 'lot' but a holding place which I guess is still just as illegal.  One day I saw one of them fixing one of the cars in front of my house.  I stood there and looked at him until he saw me (bra-less with a scarf on... a sight I'm sure).  I am that neighbor who will stand in her front door to see what's going on; that is the Ethel in me ( my dad's mom with her nebby self. GOD I miss her :) He got himself together real quick and the car was moved.  I was also the neighbor who was hoping they lost their house when the whole housing crash was happening. I'm neither proud nor ashamed, but it would have been GREAT to have new and better neighbors.  I know it could be much worse.  But so that's that.  Oh yes this is the 'tree' neighbor, which that fallen tree is still lying right where God made it fall.  

You ever wear something and then remember WHY you don't wear it often?  I have this cute little green and white print dress, which on the hanger it is the perfect summer dress.  BUT ON, oh it's a disaster.  I have boobs, big ones I should say.  This dress has this little elastic... not elastic maybe gathered material that should hit the normal sized boobed woman right at her waist.  Well it hit me not even below the boobs.  SO I had to constantly pull down and check for correct dress distribution.  And then I put a slip on even though Oprah said back in the 90's we don't need to wear slips, but with this dress I totally did need to.  I was walking into work and the slip was hanging down almost to my ankles (ok not really LOL).  It was just a mess and it has a lower than what I normally wear back so my braids kept hitting my back so now they are all up in a ponytail.  The official end to summer was this past weekend so it can get tucked away only to be pulled out next year with, unless I lose like 500 lbs, will have the same results.  

I'm convinced my sickly cubemate co-worker got me sick!  She was coughing up both lungs last week and now I have a stopped up nose and a cough.  It took a lot for me to not call out today because I need my paycheck to not look as minimal as it had been. speaking of which I need to put some kleenex in my bag.  

I worked a 70+ year old birthday party this past weekend and insisted on taking the ice for the cookout that was supposed to happen on Monday that never did.  Now I have a cooler full of 4 bags with water LOL

i was looking for a good title... random shit it is!!

When you go into the bathroom and you know instantly that she didn’t bothered to practice courtesy flushing.  And then the woman looks all guilty cause SHE KNOW she the one who made it smell all bad. It’s just not that hard ladies.  We all have to do what we have to do but COME ON!!

When you do Facebook stalking be sure to NOT like any pics and if you do cause you know fat fingers or whatever, unlike real fast and pray they don’t get a notification for everything that happens on their page.  I remember one time I was getting a notification for everything which can get real annoying and I mentioned that I saw what I know he had said on my page but then deleted it.  And then he tried to act like I was crazy.  NO FOOL I saw what you said and it’s not a big deal (cause it really wasn’t) but what you won’t do is act like it didn’t happen when it really did.

So of course I was doing a little Facebook stalking and got a little caught up in my feelings of nostalgia.   It used to be so much easier and I long for those days. Now it’s just hard!! Getting on the same page is near impossible and there are too many games that I just don’t have time for and too many babies and mamas to think about and schedules that don’t sync up and everything else in between.

WHY is there hair on my shit that aint mine!! AND WHY does that little girl have on DOUBLE platform shoes at work?!?!? Why does the mail dude always look a lil… off?  and lastly WHY is the first thing I see as I leave is the security guard's big butt?  Cause I like big butts and I cannot lie!! 

I don’t like busy bodies and to me that means folks (usually women) who are just always in everything when it does not concern them and/or they are always trying to be the center of whatever which is usually MESS!

I put the cat food upstairs because my finicky ass cat decided she couldn’t eat while someone else was in the room and here lately there is always someone in the room.  SO now this fool rushes downstairs and then is like OH SHIT my food is upstairs!!

For the life of me I do not understand why it is so hard for people to do their job.  I have had 50eleven jobs and I have always done not only what was required of my but sometimes I went above and beyond because that’s just what was called for. Now because of the environment I am in, folks are SOOOOOOOOOOO fucking busy all the time.  And y’all know I hate that as an excuse.  SO I ask you a direct question for information that should be at your fingertips but you want to send me to 2 other locations that I have to do the research!??!  NAH son... I'm good. I don't even need the info, this was for the director.  SO in the back and forth emails of you telling me what YOU not gon do, you coulda just gave me the damn information.  Let's see how accommodating I am when you need something from me... 

The reason for the blog today.  I have moved from my 'who gon check me' mode because really WHO IS gon check me? to 'How is that my problem?'  Lately it just seems like people have so many excuses that do not affect me in the way in which it affects them.  Your emergency is not MY emergency nor my priority!  And while I don't lack empathy, I'ma need for you to do what I need. For instance, my mom (aka the roommate) was just recently at a rehab facility that in retrospect didn't do much rehab at all, but anyway she was getting pain meds round the clock.  On a particular day i went to check with the nurse to see if he had given her the meds.  His response was well I am really busy and all these family members keeps asking me questions.  So you know I did a quick jerk reaction and I stopped just short of saying what the fuck do you mean?!?!  Instead I said EXCUSE ME? I AM a family member and my mother is in pain and you being busy  is not really my concern. His poor planning and not reading his notes led to her getting her meds 2 hours later than she should have.  so wait maybe that wasn't a good example... But ok (LOL) here is a better one, again dealing with the roommate, I have several caregivers because even though I have multiple skill sets, getting the gown over my mom's tight right arm has proven to be near impossible FOR ME!  These women come in here and have her dressed in 5 minutes.  So anyway the other night one of them said she needed to get here at 8.  I said well the hours are 7-7 so if you can't make it then.... So she proceeds to say OH BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER HOURS!!! if it were on another day then I could do it.  The whole entire time she is talking I'm like How is that my problem?  I am all for people going back to school (which was her reason/excuse) so that they can do what they need to do in their lives.  But MY need is for someone to be at this here house in downtown Woodlawn from 7pm to 7am.  So no... not my problem.  

even when the condition is critical, your living is miserable, you position is pivital, I aint bullshiting you!!

NOW, why would I lie? just to get by...
My titles continue to be song lyric even though I am utterly convinced only a few know what the hell I'm talking about.  I saw this video the other day.  And Talib Kweli is on the talk show on HBO right now... Bill Maher so I knew this title was correct and right!

I sit at the 'crossroads' of the outer cube nation and the region which I have named the cube village. Smaller than cube nation but not quite big enough for a city... so village it is.  Folks come at stand looking hella lost usually because by the time they get to me they usually have come too far and need some assistance.  If they give me eye contact I usually will help them including the janitor who had the vacuum strapped to her back looking like a Ghost Buster!  I still don't know if someone got sick or what because I got so tickle by what she looked like.  And her English is not on fleek so it took a second for me to understand the location she was looking for.  
i like saying something is NOT on fleek because it's so funny to me.  His English was not on fleek.  Her driving was not on fleek... maybe because saying ON FLEEK is such a silly term to me.

I can't even remember when I wrote this so lets just act like it was yesterday...
I need for this woman to not only stop clomping past my desk but also STOP TALKING TO ME!! 1^st I always have my headphones on so I can never hear you.  2^nd you walk past my desk a bazillion and one times every day WHY do you think we have that much convo, we really don’t. 3^rd you have told me you are not busy, but that doesn’t mean I’m not.  LEMME LONE!!

Last night School Daze was on.  I loved that movie as a kid.  It definitely cemented in my brain that I needed to go to an HBCU so that I too could have that experience. I was struck by a few things. 1. Greeks are crazy!!  Meaning they (we) do some real questionable things in the name of love for the frat or sorority.  Looking from the outside in why WOULD you want to get your ass beat to belong to any organization?  
I had more thoughts... but like I said this was a few weeks ago. What I was thinking about also was sex scenes that changed my life.  Well you know as a kid when you see people having the secks on the big screen it affects you.  SO I was like 13/14 when School Daze came out so when I saw Tisha Campbell licked ALL over Dean Big Brother ALL-MY-TEE, I was like are you supposed to do alladat for a dude?  Cause I just don't know about licking his head AND brands.  That's a lil nasty!  And even today at 41 it's still a little nasty.  I'ma leave that right there.  Another scene was the barn scene from Purple Rain.  I was a little younger and a little more impressionable and my sister convinced my mom that it would be ok to take me but my little eyes almost bugged completely outta my head when Apollonia was having the secks with Prince!  Prince is 5 foot nothing and he got ALL the girls and I understood right then and there why he did!! All I remember thinking was OOOHHH!!!

The roommate chronicles continue but they are little less funny than they were before.  Mainly because the decline has been severe and rapid.  What I think is funny now might not be to others, but laughter cleanses the spirit.  Like the time I tried to change her gown and i just couldn't get it over her right arm so I said fuck it and threw a sheet over her.  The aid was coming in a few hours and it's summer so she wasn't gonna freeze.  I have 3 African angels that see my face and know I don't know what the hell I'm doing and just care for my mother with such gentleness that I don't even think she appreciates but I SOOO DO!!  And then I also have a Baltimore angel who talks my ear off cause she is my might person but she is a sweetie pie and has a genuinely good heart.  I have a team cause I know I can't do it alone!  Things are really going well so I can't complain.  

I witnessed some road rage that was freaking hilarious last week.  So they are redoing Red Run and McDonogh near my job.  Whoever job it is to paint the lines didn't do a complete job.  There should be 2 lanes making the left onto Red Run, but some folks got confused and decided to make the inner most non-lane a lane and that created some issue.  So the BIG truck was in the wrong but the little Fiesta (any car that's a lil ass hatchback is a Fiesta to me) got mad and they were fussing back and forth through the window.  Dude in the Fiesta told the Truck guy to PULL OVER SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS!!!  Well truck dude was all mouth cause he just kept driving and keeping pace with the Fiesta dude and I couldn't get around.  Alls I wanna so is get home at this point but these 2 idiots are trying to see who is bigger CLEARLY the Fiesta dude cause he was ready for a fight whereas truck dude made a left into Foxridge and then Fiesta dude drove away. It was funny because nothing really happened.  I usually just fuss in my car at whatever dumb shit the person in front of me or beside me is doing, but I'm not sure what I would actually do if I was challenged.  That's like George following the guy all the way to whatever far off borough because he though the guy gave him the middle finger when in actuality he had a cast on his arm and the middle finger was placed in an up position.  Goerge was SO MAD but then he felt silly after the fact.  Road rage can be dangerous so I think I will stick to fussing at people from the car.  OHy ou gon get called a few choice words and that makes me feel better about my life!!

making your way in the world today takes everything you got...

I love when I go places and the people remember me.  I mean not like Norm, but you know they recognize me.  I went to Double T last Sunday and I usually sit at the counter because it’s just faster and I’m usually by myself.  The woman who is WELL over retirement age has the counter and she holds it down!  It may seem like she doesn’t know what’s up but she does.  So I get my waffle and turkey sausage which I am not totally convinced was turkey, but I ate it anyway, but I didn’t get sick like I have been getting when I eat pork so maybe it was.  When I finished I said whew that hit the spot, she comes from the kitchen and says ‘Did that hit the spot?  You get those all the time, right?  Yeah you do!!’  I was like is this woman reading my mind?!?!? She is such a sweetheart I always wonder why she is still waitressing, but then again sometimes it’s good to just keep moving.  And then there are the times I go places many many times and the people always act like it’s the first time they have ever seen me in their life LOL

I went to Puerto Rico last week with my BFF and we had a GREAT... I mean EXCELLENT time!!! We both did a whole lot of nothing!  One of the goals was to do zip lining and hike of the rain forest but the furthest we got from the resort was an Old San Juan tour which was really nice to see some of the town and history.  Mostly though it was laying in the cabana by the adult only pool and slurping down mojitos when one of us would be inclined to go get drinks!! Sometimes what you need is to do nothing, think about nothing, and focus on nothing!  I didn’t even get past the 1^st chapter on the book I downloaded.  I only downloaded 2.  I brought 2 magazines and didn’t even crack those open either.  It was great!

I attended a 7 week (week ok so I missed 2 sessions) Alzheimer seminar for caretakers. My mom has MS which led to her moderate, but now probably a little more than that, dementia. Alzheimer is under the umbrella of dementia so everything that they talked about really did apply.  One of the facilitators kept saying it's ok to just let the medical people do what they need to do and for you to just be the daughter.  And as hard as I try to make sure everything is in it's right place and following up on just everything which is so damn exhausting I decided tonight that I would just be the daughter.  So she drank grape pop (yes I said pop) and ate peanuts (well to be fair most of them landed on her chest) and she slept which she ALWAYS enjoys doing!!  

I had another epiphany earlier this week.  When things don't work out with whatever relationship I try to have I always put the blame on myself like what did I do wrong. But the bottom line is I did NOTHING wrong and i will find someone much better!  Then I started smiling and enjoying the rest of my day.  (so what I really said was FUCK him!!! and that made me feel better too LOL).  I haven't stopped not for one second... wait I'm lying there was that 1 Saturday that I waited all day for a call that didn't come... but aside from that I do what I want to do! I go out to eat, I go to movies.  If someone I want to see is in concert I go.  I have never been one to be up under a man I mean you know what I mean LOL I put myself on a ridiculous timeline and so I'm taking myself off.  Things will happen when they happen with the right man at the right time. 

Every single ant in downtown Woodlawn found it's way to my sink for the little ass piece of watermelon I left completely by accident in there. I have been wiping down and spraying Home Defense since MAY but they still be finding the spot I didn't spray and march their lil asses in my house!!                                                                                            

and lastly... cooking is an expression of love.  My grandmothers who were severely old school when I was growing up made sure you had something to eat and on a good day mighta had a pepsi or red koolaid in the frig.  I miss them so much and I am so blessed to have had them both (and my grandfathers too).  I was going somewhere with that but nope I'll leave it at that!!

you can be mean when you look this clean!!

It is no secret that I liked the movie Magic Mike.  NOT because it was any great cinematic event, but more because Channing Tatum and that dude from CSI Miami…. Adam Rodriguez because they had their clothes off and that made me HAPPY!! So with all of that said I should have enjoyed Chocolate City much more than I did because again, not a great cinematic event but nekkid chocolate bodies!!  SO yes right?!?!  Ehhh.. not so much and here’s why.  ***Spoiler Alerts*** So like if you haven’t seen it run to your on-demand and go watch you that movie because it still made me happy and it may make you happy too!!  So here are my thoughts on the movie.  FIRST off I should have really enjoyed more nekkid Robert Ri’Chard, but he was a child star (One on One), and was cute but goofy who has grown up and looks GOOD.  And then they casted DeRay as his brother cause they had the whole light skinded brothas with light eyes thing going on, with Vivica Fox as their mother with THEE WORST curly wig on in the history of wigs.  The premise of the movie was a struggling college student who gets approached (in the bathroom) by a man who does male stripping at some random club in Atlanta.  You can guess the main points of the movie but let’s delve further into the cast.  All of the strippers were over 40, except Robert who was 30, now this should be my age range but for some reason they all just looked old to me.  AND I know Matthew McConneheay (sp) is well over 40 but he was too skinny for me in Magic Mike and wasn’t really a stripper.  But anyways…  Lem from Soul Food err Darrin Dewitt has this crazy hairdo and after one time dancing they moved Robert to his spot.. Plot holes my friend, PLOT HOLES.  You mean to tell me the newbie can dance better than the choreographer… NAH he can’t! Tyson freakin Beckford!!! **smh** He cannot act!!  Not now, not as a as a cameo person, not ever!!  In addition to him not being able to act, HE CANT DANCE!!! So he wiggled around to some reggae music and it was bad.  AND THEN we have some real strippers, and maybe this is what made me smile the most!! Bolo the Entertainer who is a real stripper who oozed the secks appeals and yes I did like seeing the crack of his bootay!! Ummm.. whew maybe that is the highlight LOL  Other people in the movie Imani (the little girl from Everybody Hates Chris) was Roberts girlfriend.  And Carmen Electra was the DJ **loud sigh**.  Another BIG ASS PLOT HOLE…. So Robert has a bike and then after working a few times alla sudden he got a Mercedes!?!!?  REALLY?  OH and he gets beat up by Tyson’s boys and then heals in like 3 days.  Then they kept trying to compare themselves to Magic Mike.  Yeah so not a great movie but it may just make you smile and that is what entertainment should be about, right?

I am currently obsessed with 2 songs Classic Man by Jidenna and Alight by Kendrick Lamar.  Both have such heavy usage of the N word and F bombs drop like crazy, but like I heard the radio version and I was like they missed a word!! So let’s get into it.  Classic Man!! Jidenna is part of the Janelle Monae camp, Wondaland and actually I just watched The Q.U.E.E.N. video and Jidenna was in it so even though it feels like he came out of nowhere he kinda has been around.  Jidenna is very interesting to look at; he is light with red hair AND a red beard and wears tailored suits.  I like a man in a suit, I just do! And I hope this is ushering a new era to hip hop were men are really concerned with looking well. I am ready for the pants below the butt and just big baggy everything and looking scruffy to be over. So we’ll see, but I do like the song and I feel like I need to hear it right now.  I watched a video with him and Janelle Monae.  He is Nigerian and his mother is Scottish (not just regualr white LOL) so that answers the red hair question. The next song is Alright.  Now the first time I heard it was at the end of Ballers which is a new series on HBO featuring one The Rock *fine ass* (oh he could get it!) Dewayne Johnson. Actually that show had another song in it and I had to rewind it which was the song Eve (or whomever the producer was) sampled for Tambourine.  Yes I have a good ear and YES this is random! So Alright came on and I was in LOVE and then I didn’t know it was Kendrick Lamar and I don’t really like rap but maybe I need to qualify that, I don’t like bad rap.  Rap where I don’t understand what they are saying or crazy innuendo’s that reference sex acts that I have to go to urban dictionary to look up or drugs.  And maybe it was just the hook that had me HOOKED!!! We gon be alright Can you hear can you FEEL ME??!  We gon be alright!  Yes Kendrick I can hear and feel you WE ARE gon be alright!! So then this week I looked for the video and it’s not just some regular ass video THIS is a cinematic experience!!  And then I’m mad cause I feel bambozzled by Fios I don’t have VH1 Soul NOR MTV Jams so I have to get my videos online which is actually ALRIGHT!!  See what I did there?!?! The song has some religious connotations even though you might miss it amongst the fucks.  Like DMX he was and I'm sure still is trying to get his life right and it's like a prayer.  Sometimes these rap songs are bigger than what is at face value.  And then sometimes all they are about is booty and bling (i had another blog about that LOL).  And then from here I went to another video from Flying Lotus that is hella disturbing but it's good and i just watched it again even though it makes me full on misty.

Why do the women who are small in frame make the most noise as they clomp past my desk?!?!  I know we can't all walk like Naomi Campbell, but let's try!!  

This past weekend we went to see my niece sing at the Big Tree festival in the middle of Juniata County PA  She did a wonderful job!!  OF COURSE she takes after her aunt LMAO... not really but she did do a great job!!  I was surprised that I didn't see any confederate flags since there were only about 5-6 black folks there. Her mother is just regular white (LOL).  

My hair must have been on fleek, as the kids say, last week because I got so many compliments!  I have been doing twist out on Sundays and then pull them out Monday and I have the good disco hair.  Alls I've been using is either WEN or Shea Moisture shampoo and conditioner and then the shea moisture cream and eco green olive oil gel to twist.  It's getting long and it's been shedding like crazy but it's all good.  I am about to get it braided for my good vacay... Puerto Rico HOOOOOOOOOO... and i can't be doing it in tropical weather.  I just refuse!!