I need to try to NOT notice things!!

Sometimes it just gets to be to much and I am overloaded with rants.  Last night I thought the vino smoothed things over BUT NO!!!  Here goes:

• If there is a DO NOT ENTER sign that means everyone.  NOT everyone BUT you!! So ma'am the little traffic jam you done caused at the post office could have been avoided if you just did not enter where you shouldn't have.
• It really is ok to wear the size you are supposed to wear.  Now you may be in denial but your size 20 butt really should not be rocking size 12 jeans
• If my appointment is at 5 then at 5:20 I don't expect for the nurse to just be taking the blood pressure and then you mosey on in at 6:10!!  My time is just as valuable as yours DOCTOR and the appointment has been on the books for months, I didn't just call the morning of and ask for you to squeeze me in.  NO MA'AM!!
• I need to be clued in on when the apocalypse is going to happen because I swear for GAWD it seems like when I only got 3 or 4 items folks have food to wait out whatever storm is acoming
• I really don't like self checkout.  But if I have to because only 2 lines are open and folks got cart FULL of food then make sure it has register tape.
• They (and they know who they are) only open a new line once ALL MY SHIT is on the belt!!! It never fails!!  I want it to fail!  I would like to be the chick getting out of line to be taken care of immediately, but that's not my story, that's not my song!!
• I am always a little slow, and I'm okay with that.  I think I was adult before I realized Madonna was talking about teen pregnancy in 'Papa don't preach'.  My mom heard me singing my heart out one day and wanted me to explain what the song meant, WELL I told her that her Papa was  preacher and she just wanted for him to leave her alone because she's in trouble.  I had no idea what 'trouble' was... ALL this is to say I really want to maintain my naiveté when it comes to Usher's new song.  Can it just be about kissing?!  Can I just believe that is all he's talking about even though he SOOOOOOOO isn't?!?
• Can the people across the street either stop buying cars or allowing people to live there??  I still can't figure out what really going on over there, but just don't park in front of my house EVERYDAY!!
• I thought the people walking up and down the street (same people) were kids.  Everyday without fail there is a group of loud ass people who walk up and then back down about a half hour later.  I opened the door one morning and caught sight of these fools... OLD FOOLS!!!  To old to be that loud so early in the morning disturbing my good sleep!!

That was last Wednesday!  Today I carried my happy ass to the IHOP in Randallstown.  WHY must it be such and adventure when I go out?  Why can't I just read my little book and NOT notice things?!?!?

• I don't know why you think OR who told you blue hair looked good, but sis it really doesn't.  NOR does the funky attitude you seem to have!!  NOR does the flower short short that cover your very big dimply ass!! Listen to people when they talk to you.  Wear your correct size... well wait that doesn't apply here it was her size (not sure wear she got them but hey)... Wear things the compliment your size
• So your barely 1 month old throws right on up on the already nasty carpet, but you and your other small child pose for a selfie?!?! Are you going to clean it up?!?
• It was clearly baby day at the IHOP.. no one told me.
• What you will do is LEAVE when you are done.  you are holding up 2 tables and the dos 2 year olds you brought with you are running everywhere and that is not cute.  I always cringe when kids do this because it is so dangerous in a restaurant.  Anything can drop on them or someone can knock them down and then you gonna be the first in line to sue someone
• the host was rocking a really nice body.  Thank you sir for spending many  hours in the gym (or jail)!!  I could not figure out his deal, but just like Shaun T,  I enjoy looking even when it aint for me!!