I am getting better with me, I'm recovering - Algebra Blesset

I woke up this morning knowing I could no longer live my life with my hair looking a hot mess.  So I decided to go to my local African hair braiding salon to get my hair tamed until I figure out my next move with my natural tresses.  I get to the place and there was a bit of a line.  Walk-ins are always welcome but appointments usually are better.  I said I wanted the crochet braids and she said well you have to go buy your own hair.  UGH... so I traipse out to the beauty supply store and figure this is going to be an extra 50 bucks... UGH again : l I go back to the salon and I think they thought I wasn't coming back.  I had a 1/2 a thought to, not but my hair looking the way it did I needed to go back.  Nothing really major happened except these women found some topic to "talk" to each other at a very loud volume.  Nothing unusual there but I thought of my headphones in the car once she started real goo.  I took a little snooze, read my book then she was pretty much done.  I looked down at my toes knowing that I needed to get a pedicure but I keep cheating on Jenny who I have to make an appointment with and squeezing folks in is not her strong suit.  Across the way is a nail salon, the same nail salon that 3 years before I decided didn't look right and found another one to go take my mom.  You know you should always listen to our gut.  And like Olivia Pope my gut said NAH GIRL!! But alls I needed was a color change, how hard could that be. VERY apparently!  I go in the shop the lady was absorbed in one of the Fast and Furious she finally sees me and I tell her what I want. She asked if I wanted my nails clipped down I said yes.  BUT THEN she starts cutting hang nails **loud sigh** I don't have hang nails on my toes and when nail techs starts clipping them, I get a little nervous. Then my big toe start bleeding.  Uhhhh... lady my toes is bleeding.  She puts alcohol on it and pats it dry.  EXCUSE ME... you are not fixing to put polish on the bleeding toe.  She then gets some 'solution' put that on it I swear I think it's super glue!! NOPE still bleeding and I am beyond pissed. ALL YOU HAD TO FUCKING DO WAS CHANGE THE COLOR ON MY TOES!!!! HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO MESS THAT UP??? It finally stops but kinda not really  I pay her the 10 dollars and she had nerve to look baffled that I didn't tip her. Da hell you think you deserve 2 extra dollars for?!?!? I need to mention that every few seconds she looked up to see what Vin Diesel was doing.  No ma'am I need your full and undivided attention.  I get why this shop is empty.  Even though it is a random Tuesday in the morning I get it!!

I have a new spot at the library. the quiet room has the perk of being, well quiet, but the room itself is quite chilly.  There are a bank of desks in front of the windows that give a little heat; you know cause you need the ac but you don't want to freeze.  The down side to this spot is it is right next to the kids section.  I can usually drown out the play and screams laughter and sometimes wailing with my dope ass ear buds, but today it was EXTRA.  I usually try and catch up on my podcasts but this amount of noise needed loud music which can be tricky at the library.  I am old school meaning I think it should be silent at all times, but libraries today have toys, and video games and story time and just a whole lot of non-quiet activities.  But it's free so yeah if I had a gaggle of kids I would be at the library too. The problem with me and the music is I feel compelled to sing along! There is a couple to the left of me researching something (I was low key trying to see what they were doing LOL).  A little girl on her phone talking to the right of me who then left and a little boy in a shirt and tie sat there.  I was wondering what he was doing too.  He looked to young to be trying to get an office job, but then again, I can't judge age real well.  But then he to got up and left.  Then I got distracted by the birds!  It was a good day though.

I have 2 1/2 regular caregivers; 1/2 cause 1 lady even though she is regular she occasionally gets on my nerves.  My 1 regular says all the time that most of the job is common sense.  But common sense is NOT common.  This would be the one who is on, well not really holiday because she is attending a funeral and we all know how I feel about those.  The way they do it in West Africa is a major celebration.  Like biblical several weeks worth of celebration.  I would love to attend just to see how they do it.  So the woman they left me with is getting on my nerves pretty much daily!!!  I still do like her but ma'am if you put my cast iron skillet in the dishwasher again I AM gonna fight you!!  it's funny cause all the stuff she said she did today like dust and vacuum were the EXACT things I did yesterday. But WHATEVER...

Currently I am on a quest to make the potato salad I remember as a child.  There are several meals that I still am trying to perfect, like who knows what my grandmother put to make the fried chicken taste so good, NOBODY makes it like she did.  I'm not looking to win any medals I just want that taste.  Store bought never does the trick usually because the potatoes are too hard and I can only think of 2 people who's tater salad I have liked.  I guess I could call either of them, but they are more like a little this a little of that kinda cooks.  I made some last week with the skin on with olive oil mayo which and Dijon mustard. It was aiight but it was too wet.  What I needed was regular mayo, yellow mustard and peeled potatoes.  I am almost there!! I gave some to my mom and sugar was the trick!!

I've been watching the Olympics with the roommate and some of her comments have been straight comedy!!  I don't take this time for granted.  These games make me an emotional basket case every time they are on.  I can't take but so many feel good stories.  Even when they are not from the USA.  Like the woman who came in last from Saudi Arabia I think... TEARS cause this is the 1st time women have been allowed to compete from there.  Or the refugees who don't even have a country to claim.  damn I need a tissue now....  Then the shot put DIVA (that is her IG name) who looks like me!!  Big girl, dark skin, BEAUTIFUL with a beat face won gold!!! And medals are great but the fact that all those people made it there are Olympians something most of us can never claim to be.  There are so many firsts.  We won't even get into the Simones and Gabby; I might need the whole box.  I refuse to read anything negative about them I just keep on scrolling with even the suggestion. 

I have nursed my toe with hydrogen peroxide so I don't think it will fall off!

i'm gonna love myself just a little bit more than the day before! - Jill Scott

I am sitting at the library today in Woodlawn mainly because I get nothing done at home.  I've stated this before that when I'm home since I'm 'working from home' I need space between me and what the hell ever needs to get done at the crib... so that is the setting for this lovely blog!!

The more funerals I go to the more I know that I do not want a traditional nothing when it comes to my home going celebration.  And it will be a celebration. So I went to a funeral last week and... ok here goes.  Dead people are dead, the look dead and I don't do well with looking at them for more than a few seconds.  My grandmother is about the last person I actually stood there and really looked good and hard at.  I was distraught and there were so many people and I just needed to give her a full once over. Even for my dad.  I did the obligatory viewing and I was done. I mean I was distraught for him too, but it was just different.  I think I knew my father was going to die, but for my grandmother well BOTH of them I didn't really consider death as an option and when it happened I just didn't take it well.  I understand funerals are meant for the family.  I came to this church and sat in the back and then said uuhh... yeah I guess I need to go to the front.  My girlfriends step mother passed away really rather unexpectedly and her dad is taking it hard.  Ok so... I'm getting to sad and there were way to many things that made this day hilarious! Here goes...  When I walked into the church the man usher just about knocked me down because someone had left their walker in the parking lot. I'm thinking they left it there and most likely was put into a wheelchair; it's okay if it stays there for a few more minutes.  He was a was a little over the top so I really tried to let it go.  Whatever is in your closet that you have to wear needs to cover all of the body parts you have.  One young lady had on this tank top that I'm sure belonged to her elementary school aged child.  It didn't cover enough of anything.  Then there were the hard core church women who had on pantyhose!  I try not to wear pantyhose EVER and definitely not in the summer.  My lady parts do not need to be trapped by nylon.  Then the soloist... OK so on a good day I can carry a tune and sing right along with the best of them.  This man started the music at a volume I guess meant for all the angels to hear and the organist covered her ears like WTH?!?!?  She then proceeds to leave the organ while he comes around and takes the mic which thankfully was not on.  I can't even remember the song, but he sings it with gusto and my face was like uuuhhh.....  OH the organist who only had to play one song played it so slow; this was where my thoughts wondered to yeah my fune will NOT be like that!! They had a representative from the deacon and deaconess board.  The woman for the deaconess board talked for a good 3 minutes about how she wasn't sure if she knew the deceased and again my face was like uuuhhhh....  BUT THEN she remembered and how she always had her bible.  It was long.  Then the pastor.  I probably should have led this whole thing off with I am a church kid, meaning I know how things at church should work and I know all the churchy sayings. Salvation is the end result and living as Christ would have us live.  I get it!  We as Christians do not want non-believers to end up in eternal damnation.  But what you will do is have a sermon prepared with your scripture and 3 points!  I am used to that.  I am used to the pastor being prepared.  I can even take a pastor preaching off the cuff because some are just that good.  But this man was not prepared every other word he said in addition to AMEN was you have to get saved or you have to know Jesus.  He started with saying he had 3 points which turned into 4 and then back to 3.  I started taking notes until he kept flipping throughout the bible finding scriptures.  He was all over the place and then a few folks started to leave.  WHEW it was mess. At one point I think the undertaker said take your time but we were all like PLEASE just go ahead and get finished pastor.  And he did and the soloist sang again which again was bad. and then getting out of the church was just like getting out of church SLOW! I'm acting like I was in a major rush which I was not.  THIS IS WHAT I WANT:  I can't decide if I want everyone to wear pink OR if I want everyone to wear their own favorite color.  I am going to curate a playlist for the wake and the funeral/memorial service.  I can't decide it I want to be cremated although I also think I am going to give my body to science so they can figure things out and/or donate what they can use for folks who need organs, eyes, and skin (I know that's gross but it is a need).  I've heard that you can't have a tattoo which hopefully has or will change by the time I leave this earth.  I just want people to be happy that they knew me and I really want it to be a celebration.  Death should be celebrated.  I know folks will be sad initially and grieve for however long they need to, but it will be a party!!

I went to the Summer Fest which was a music event in Columbia MD.  The main acts were Janelle Monae, Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, The Roots, Kindred.  IT. WAS. HOT!!! I'm fascinated by how people dress.  I am conservative mostly all the time. I don't like tight things and I don't put the girls on display on purpose, but they are huge so you gonna see them no matter what.  But some of the outfits were just horrible.  And as I was looking at the women AND men I know some of these were really thought out! One dude who had his umm... so he had a lot goin on (lets just say it was hard to look away LOL) he had white with silver on his shirt that matched the silver belt buckle to hold up his white shorts and silver tennis shoes; he thought that thing out! Now that I'm thinking about him I am forgetting some of the ratchedness LOL So yeah there's that...

It has been a little cooler that normal earlier this week but then it got hot again today! So I had a lot of appreciation for the man that was walking up the hill with his shirt off with all of his chocolatey goodness.  I don't think he was a kid although I do tend to call anyone in their 20's little boys.  But you could tell he works out, and to him a say thank you!!

There is man sitting in a chair behind me.  I feel like he is watching me but I can't be sure.  I'm gonna get up and get a good look at him. He is paying me NO attention LOL... ok carry on with your day!!

how can I give you what you can't accept?

I have been beating myself up about sleeping in and doing nothing although I really enjoy sleeping in and doing nothing! But it's hard to justify when I have so much shit to do, for me, for my business, for my mother.  Just stuff!! I haven't completely allowed myself to enjoy being off and I need to just chill out! I don't get to sleep in on the weekends and I need to enjoy it during the week for now.  There will come a time in the near future that I will have to get my ample brown booty up at the crack or before the crack of dawn! SO yeah and another thing I need to do is stop beating myself up for spending money.  I know how much is in my account at any given minute and it's ok.  I know I will need to go on a spending fast sooner than later but sometimes over medium eggs taste better when a restaurant makes it.

For some time now my going to the supermarket revolves around bananas! YES BANANAS!!! It is ridiculous saying it out loud because it is. the roommate cannot be without bananas.  this is my life!! That's it.

My goal is to find the perfect library to do my 'work'.  I started with the one near my house which is the Woodlawn Branch.  This one was good because it had a quiet room  and I could put my headphones on and not worry about the little kids.  The next day I went to Catonsville branch also very good, actually better because the quiet room is in the basement and it is not freezing OH and the table/desk is really big and facing the wall.  Day 3 I go to Pikesville Branch. I knew that there were going to be a lot of kids and geriatrics here (its actually a senior center connected to the library). Back when I worked for the Census in 2010 (one of my 50eleven jobs LOL) this was a meeting place for us.  It is a busy library but I actually thought it was bigger than it is.  SO the way they have it set up there are 2 desks over in the corner which of course were full and then like 12 desk facing each other. There were some chairs in an aisle which in retrospect I should have sat there.   Instead I picked the desk on the corner and no one was facing me. I feel like if I point out the people's race it would be a bit much.  Just know that Pikesville has a very large Jewish community and I'll leave it right there.  I don't think men realize how nasty they can be.  I mean DUDE I can see you picking your nose and I need to not think about you placing any of the boggers anywhere that I may have to touch.  AND then, can't you just be slick about pulling the wedgie out of your behind? the same nose picker got up to use his phone AT THE LIBRARY (no judgement... I just did the same thing) and picked his butt for longer than I care to admit I was watching. LOL Then I'm sitting there only really able to see out of my right eye and getting distracted by EVERYTHING and then a guy looks at me, looks at the girls and decides he is going to sit in front of me.  SO ok whatever then he opens his tablet and starts doing sign language with the person I guess on the screen.  But then it got ultra animated and I'm sitting there like REALLY SIR?!? My goal to is to stay until at least 3pm or when I get hungry whichever comes first. Then a little old guy sits next to me and he had a few smells.  It was like old man smell mixed with something that was just not good. I just said NOPE and started packing it up.  Plus there was an older man who was staring me down and I couldn't decide if I was flattered or creeped out cause back in his day he probably coulda got it.  The library has such an assortment of people.  I could sit here and people watch all day!! SO I am back at the Catonsville branch  my knees are a little chilly and maybe going to get French toast prior to coming here was NOT a good idea cause I really just need a nap and I found the information I needed to research but it's Friday and my attention span is like that of a flea.  This woman has her stuff posted up at on of these desks and keeps coming back and forth since I've been here.  I really want to ask her what the hell she is doing.  I think she went to pray for a while but she hasn't been sitting there long enough to do much of anything.  I am hella sleepy today.

I can't see out of my left eye because I have uveitis which is inflammation of the uvea.  I've been using 2 drops, one is a steroid and the other dilates my eye.  I'ma go get a patch for my left eye.  My right eye has been doing ALL the work.  I've been assured that this I normal and it will get better  when I stop using the drops but it is really f'd up right now. Thankfully I am not getting headaches it's just annoying.

ok its now after 3 and I think I am calling it a day...

feels just like a weight has lifted... how can I repay you?

Last week was one of those weeks... Wanna hear it? Here it go.  So June 30th was my last day at my job which really not a bad thing 1 cause I'm a contractor and these things happen and 2 it was time for this particular project to be over.  Friday I had my HVAC dude come to see what the issue was.  He told me that it was OUT and that I needed a whole new ac unit.  I'm like ummm well ok how much we talking. He gave me the price and I'm quite positive I did a blank stare blink for a few minutes trying to decide is he talking AMERICAN money or Trinidadian currency?!?!  He is from Trinidad and his accent is pretty thick so I'm sure he didn't just say what I thought he said. He says it again and I'm like yeah no... I'll just have to be fine with fans this summer.  He attempts to give me a payment plan, but I'm like nooooo I just really can't do that right now but I will call you if something changes.  I put it on the Facebook and my one friend gives me the bright idea to do window units.  WHY had I not thought of that?!?!  So I go on the Amazon and get a mini unit for the roommate and research portable units for me since my windows upstairs go side to side instead of up and down.   My weekend was pretty normal and cool and then Monday was 4th of July.  I don't usually have a caregiver for my mom during the day on holidays because it costs to much and I can usually handle it.  So that day I did what I needed to do for her and... wait did I wash my ass?? maybe I did and then put on clean pj's.  Tuesday it was cool in the morning so I decided to get up pull everything out of my closet and commence to organizing.  The thing with me and my bright ideas is my follow thru sucks!  I pulled out and the dresser drawer I've had since my college days.  I've gotten my money worth and then some, but I still had to convince myself that it was ok to throw it away.  I have hoarding tendencies.  What I was going to do was save the drawers, put casters on them (a little trick I found on Pinterest) and stick them under my bed.  I had to have another talk with myself and tell myself to just throw it away.  I did start to take of the drawer pulls (the brass ones) for another project milling around in my head but again.... I threw those away too (ok I'm lying, 2 are sitting on my living room floor even as I type, but I intend on throwing them away). Wednesday I woke up and then got back in the bed.  It was hot and my cycle decided that my body shouldn't do nothing that day so I didn't.  Later that day the ac unit for my mom came.  The little caregiver who came that day (not my usual person) was so miserable.  OH this is the one who came in my house one day and was like WE NEED THE AIR CONDITIONING!  It was actually a beautiful day that day so I was like the ac is not working so just move slowly and turn on the fan.  This particular day it was hot and she said to me well why don't you just get it fixed.  NOW SEE... Miss lady you don't know what is going on in my pockets further more you work in a variety of places, sometimes they are hot sometimes they are too cool, but do not ever think it is ok to tell me how to run 1928.  That's what you won't do! I fiddled around with the little ac unit, read the directions and got it in the window and it actually was feeling (and still does) pretty good in there.  My mom sweats a lot and gets grumpy she needs the air even though she is from the great state of Mississippi and is a summer baby. Thursday I decided it was time to do something about the heat in MY room.  I had been researching the portable units so I knew what I needed and something told me to go to Big Lots first.  I went there and asked the little girl who was sweeping if they had ac units.  She said no ma'am we don't carry them at all.  And then I stood there and did a quick do I stay and see what they have or do I just push on to Lowe's.  I stayed and I'm so glad I did. I saw a little fabric dresser thing and then saw the whole back-to school section.  They make so much stuff for back to school.  I don't remember having so many options back in the day but this time of year I love because there are organization options that I can use in my house.  So I see the one I want and then ask if they have any more in the back, well they have to call DJ.  Now DJ was a nice looking dude!  I was like hey DJ!!  LOL  and then this fool says well can you carry it yourself to your car? I was a rectangle box and honestly I needed to see if I could carry it. I thought for a second if I was going to play damsel in distress but then I was like NOPE I got this grabbed my box and head for the car.  Next stop was Lowes.  They only had one of the portable units all the way at the top and I didn't want them to have to pull it down only for me to be like nah I'm good.  I then went to Home Depot.  They had a much better selection but the one I wanted was a little cheaper online but it would have taken another week for it to be delivered and I was hot NOW! I was in the aisle trying to do some comparison and the Asian guy I saw at the front who was asking and understanding the sales guy alla sudden didn't speak English.  All I asked him was do you know if HH Greg sells ac units and he gave me the I speak no English look.  Then, cause I'm a little pissed cause I just heard your ass speak English and a little grumpy from the heat, I say so did you hear me or do you just not speak English now? He say no No... So i'm like yeah ok you conveniently don't understand me WHATEVER!!  Then I leave and go up to HH Greg.  Now **loud sigh** customer service is so important to me, it always has been, probably always will be.  I am THE ONLIEST person in the store I am switching out of my shades to my regular glasses, 3 people are standing at the counter/register thing and I am like are these mufukkas really gonna ignore me?!?!? So I finally get the girls attention and say are their other ac units and she points me to there sorry display.  I am like WELL this won't do.  I turn down the speaker behind me so I can think, I go and sit on the couch and finish watching the Roc episode; laughed a little and headed to the Walmart.  I get to Walmart, I'm hungry and decide to get a little something at the McDonald's.  I get to the register, a man in a wheelchair is fussing at the cashier.  He needs for her to open the several packets of sugar he has in his hand for the coffee he just bought.  I am pleading with her to help him and she's like he's fine what do you want.  I got the worst mcdouble known to man, but the fries were hot so it's all about give and take. Now I am ready to shop!  I'm not sure why I thought this Walmart would have what I need because it so didn't and then as I'm about to leave I say to myself Are you really leaving Walmart without buying ANYTHING?!?! I got a few things that totaled 12 bucks and then had to head to my eye appointment.  Every once in a while I have pain in my eye and it looks blood shot for no good reason. Sometimes it clears up but this time I had to use a steroid drop to clear it up, even though my eye right now is still a little blurry.  After the appt I head to the home depot in Randallstown to get my unit.  The little boy with the bad wrist get's it down and I pay for it, the little cash register boy gets it in the car and I take it home.  I was in full She-Ra mode thinking I can do this!!! And I did.  I got it in the house, read the directions, got it up the steps and got it working. Friday I called the pharmacist to make sure the drops would be there and he was like nope it's not here.  I call the eye place, they assure me they will resend and say check back at the end of the day.  Now something deep within the pits of my soul I knew I needed to go get a paper version of the prescription right then, but I went on with my day.  4 o'clock rolls around I call the pharmacy still nothing.   I call and leave more messages and then hop myself in the car and go to the eye place cause it is not far from my house.  No one is at the front because they close in 15 minutes.  I am like I need a paper version NOW!!!  The tech come and gets my info and gets me the prescription.  As I am getting this a woman comes in and is dropping off paperwork for one of the doctors.  She hears me coming and hold the elevator and I instantly start fussing about how frustrating this place is.  She said every time I come here it's frustrating but you just have to let it go!  And I stop and just LET IT GO!!  I almost was in tears because I know I can get worked up about the dumbest stuff. I had what I needed so why continue to fuss?  Sometimes you need people to help you get over stuff you can't get over by yourself.  I am a firm believer in people coming into your life for a reason.  Saturday (Well maybe that's Sunday) I was being grown and left my house at midnight to go party with a few Caribbean folks.  I got in just as the sun was rising only to have to get up and deal with my mom Sunday morning.  I then went to a cookout for a girlfriend who's son just graduated from High School.  Thankfully I had made the sangria the day before because I was already working from about 2 hours of sleep.  I helped get the cookout situated (what would she have done without me? LOL), ate a little, drank a little, and then carried my tired butt home!! 
That was it... well mostly it ;)

I know.. casue I know CAUSE I KNOW!!

listening to a lil Lalah as I type the good blog... You can make it On your own!

What you won’t do is tell me you are a make-up artist in training and you have a completely naked face.  No ma’am…   your face should be beat at ALL times!! And then for those women who don’t already wear make-up, black eyeliner and mascara might not be a good entry point.  You have to ease into it. Start with a little gloss, do the neutrals and then once we get used to seeing that on you, then maybe a brown liner and mascara.  And then for the woman who was wearing the exact color combination that I was going to, thank you for being a cautionary tale for me.  Those colors looked horrible together although somehow I think I still could have pulled it off.  And this has been your make-up minute!!

It took me years to upgrade from a futon (from college) to a real couch.  And now I have (for the most part) a grown-up house!  I have furniture in all of the rooms.  Now my goal in life is to have a grown-up back yard.  I went to 2 cookouts this weekend and I now know what the bar is for me to reach.  Hardscaping is the way to go! And a water feature.  I intended to add bricks or stones of some sort several years ago but I wasn’t sure what I wanted.  Now I kinda do know what I want.  I’ve done 1 level of stones in the front and to my garden in the back but I really do want to add more.  Picking up the stones at the Lowes or Home Depot is not fun.  I need to have someone do it for me; either hire someone or go with them so they can figure out how many are needed. 

This is my favorite time of year which is evident in the amount of clothes I have.  One of my caregivers for my mom (well and I guess for me too) was like PLEASE let me finish washing your clothes!  They have been in the basement for 2 weeks.  Of course why should anyone have to plead with me to let them help me? So I let her!  What’s bad is I really didn’t miss any of what was in the basement.  I like color and I never really understand why people wear so much black when another option would be yellow or turquoise. I have a lot of vibrant colors and patterns and for the past few weeks I have gotten many comments.  What even funnier is a lot of the stuff is from QVC and HSN.  And on that note since my contract is coming to a close I need to go on a spending fast.  NOPE I don’t need that pair of shoes, or that dress. I mean I might WANT it but I need to be on a needs only basis. 

What bugs the hell outta me is being with people who can’t seem to ever put their phone down, but the second you text them you don’t hear from them for hours.  Like REALLY chick... or dude??!?

You know what else I don’t like busy bodies!!  Those mostly women (but men can be busy bodies too) who know everything about everything and let you know they know just in case you didn’t know they knew.  Yep I got it, you KNOW IT ALL!! Except they don’t.  They are usually misinformed and then look simple when giving out the info that only they know! 

We had cake today and I don’t know what it is but I don’t like it.  It had some sort of custard on in.  I am such a plain jane when it comes to cake, just give me a nice vanilla cake with chocolate icing. 

What you ALSO won’t do is be in the left lane while I’m in the right, make the turn and then try to get all up in my lane!!  NO ma’am sir!! Don’t underestimate this lil 03 Corolla or the chick driving cause she might jump out and beat the shit outta you!  I mean she won’t, but she says she will all the time!!  LOL  This big ass white pick-up decided that was how he was living his life yesterday and this chick wasn’t having it!  I blowed my horn and held my own like NO YOUSTAY OVER THERE!!

THANK LBJ IT'S FRIDAY!!

I’m used to being a contractor.  I really am.  It fits my gypsy lifestyle.  Not that I pick and move homes, but jobs, OH YEAH!! So I’ve been at my current location since 2012.  I count it by family reunions.  I have had 3…  My mother’s side of the family has been doing a reunion since 1978 on even year usually on Memorial Day weekend.  So in 2012 after giving a 4 month notice that I was going to Dallas my manager asked if I could change my day off to Wednesday NO ma’am I cannot.  I high tailed it out of there as soon as I could. Dallas in 2012, Memphis in 2014 and (sunny) Cleveland 2016. It is time to GO!   And wouldn’t you know it they didn’t extend my contract!  I am a firm believer that you speak things into existence so you have to be careful.  I have been saying out loud for some time that my contract ends 6/30/16 and for people on the team to not make plans for me after that date. So I have a few things I need to wrap up but I’m not starting anything new.  There are some embers in the fire that need to be poked and a few new ventures that might be really exciting.  MEANWHILE I am so ready for another vacation!!  Thank you LBJ for the account I use for playtime!  I just saw Travel Zoo listing for a trip to Greece. I would love to go back to Greece.  But that flight alone is more than I care to really think about.  I think what I will do is go to wherever Southwest goes.

WHY do I like this Miguel song How many drinks? It has Kendrick Lamar, but the lyrics... LAWD ‘how many drinks would it take you to be with me to; yeah you look good and I got money but I don’t wanna waste my time. Back of my mind I’m hoping you say 2 or 3’ LOL And I so get it I don’t got time to waste neither!!  So what we doing!?  And then Kendrick says ‘no no no I aint judging if you do decide that we will be f***ing tonight’ But men do judge!!  I’m listening to a playlist well someone’s playlist cause I still can’t figure it out on the Spotify. They always look at you different if they can hit it quickly and then the ones you make wait are usually whack!! Actually this play list is pretty good.  I’ve had to skip a few songs but I mean for something I didn’t specifically create it’s not bad... like now Body party by Ciara gets a skip LOL BUT I Still Love You by 702 gets a sing along.

I’m back to me being a contractor and I was thinking of the things I will miss.  Not much… LOL  A few people (and I do mean a few!), the scenery from the 4^th floor kitchen which is very lush and green and uuuuhhhh… yep that’s it.  Maybe the occasional cute security guard oh and the cute black manager (yes there is only 1). 

So I just signed up to get an update when Hamilton tickets are available.  It’s on Broadway and I want to see it because everyone says it’s great.  I think I might go up one day and just do a few shows and a little hopping.  YES, me shop LOL.  I made a rationale to myself that it’s not that I don’t like shopping I just don’t like malls but I do like the act of shopping. 

I am listening to one of my podcasts, The Friend Zone, and Fran (@heyfranhey) just said something that hit real close.  She is talking about journaling.  I guess I use this as a journal to an extent but I do find that I edit myself because I just do. The journal by my bed is the one where the shit unedited. REWRITE YOUR LIFE!!! That’s what she just said. Write everything down even the things that are embarrassing.  How do you want your life to be.  And what caught my attention as I was listening is that she said sometimes life is so heavy and that you can’t catch a break and that Does God hare me!? IS this a prank? I for real FOR REAL feel like this some days.  Yesterday I was thinking God must be letting satan do me like he did Job because this is too much for it to actually be real life right now!! And I mean I get through it (my good days outweigh my bad days) but it’s those times when the bad just over power me that I think nope… I quit!  I’m done being an adult!!  Let me go find a park and just run and play let someone else worry about the real shit.  And that is what I need to do, rewrite my life! Even the relationship piece I really do enjoy doing things by myself and I often wonder why I am even trying to be with someone until I am and that closeness and intimacy is great and I know that being with someone is what I do want, until I don’t. See right there I was about to say something and edited it because it was way too personal.  Just think of the India.Arie song Brown Skin... that’s where I was!! Men are just as complicated as women.  They don’t say what they want maybe because they don’t know.  I asked the question WHAT DO YOU WANT and the guy looked at me with a blank stare like I was asking him to jump off a cliff.  I need to stop settling and/or doing things that don’t create lasting relationships.  One guy was like can’t we just be friends and I was like well we never were friends so why we gonna start now? So I know it’s me sometimes and HIM most of the time LOL  I’ve created a nice little wall that gets chipped away at and then I start rebuilding when he (whoever the he is) start acting dumb or at least what I consider to be dumb.  I was real ready to cuss this one guy smooth out and I caught myself before I got to the crazy chick point because he is not going to hear and receive what I have to say with me at 100 and him at 15. So I chilled!! And I’ma be chilled!

and I hope this message stays in your mind...

Someone had a ‘Carcetti for Mayor’ bumper sticker this morning. I’ve been wanting a shirt that said that.  I also was a ‘Vote for Pedro’ tee shirt.  Here is where my randomness might not be for you because I’m sure I already lost a few and we just begun.

It truly tickles me when folks say YOU FORGOT TO ADD THIS TO THE BLOG!!! And then I’m like did you really want my spin on it cause maybe you don’t… OR maybe you do?!?!?  SO it is wedding/prom/graduation season.  I haven’t been to a wedding but I have been to a graduation and a prom send off.   I went all the way to ATL to see my nephew #2 graduate from Georgia State University. I did a kinda sorta embarrassing pic on the Facebook mainly because I am so proud of him.  One of the things I said was that it was expected and it was!  Graduating from high school and then going to college was always expected in my household.  I don’t even know if I knew there was a choice.  It got to a point when I was really indecisive that my mom was like if I didn’t decide I had to go to Pitt (University of Pittsburgh) which in retrospect I still would have had to apply, but I felt like she knew the right people that I could have just went.  She also said if I didn’t go to college I would have to work at Giant Eagle. All I could envision was working in the deli shaving up chipped ham LOL  I am glad that my oldest 2 nephews have degrees. Now I’m not sure what is going to happen with my nieces because they live different lives were I’m not sure if education is an expectation.  I want them to finish high school and go to college and I want them to be AKA’s (my sorority) and I want them to know there is a big world out there.  But they might not have that same expectation that I had.  The 16 yr old, I need for him to GET IT and finish high school and he will go somewhere most likely on an athletic scholarship.  And the god babies… well they have no choice either.  Onto the proms… So we have seen all the pics on Facebook and Instagram maybe even the twitter.  One of my girlfriends has a son who is about to graduate so he of course he went to the prom.  She decided to do have food and drinks at her house.  This mofo (my friend not her son) did not have a wine opener in her whole ENTIRE HOUSE!!! I don’t know how she lives her life day to day with only an electric wine opener that decided not to work when she had a house full of people who were demanding wine, but she does.  The good thing is I live literally about 5-7 minutes from her and got one for her to HAVE.  I mean the wineaux that I am I usually carry a wine key with me at all time cause you know just like condoms, you never know when wine might come up.  Did I just compare wine to sex?!?!  hmmm… YES!!!! I remember my wine key getting confiscated at the TSA one time when I was travelling a lot for work and I mean I get it, it did have a knife on it and I could have hijacked the plane and no one wants that.  So yeah…  other than that her son was handsome, he did a black on black and his date did black and white with the pink hair which on her looked appropriate.  A 50 yr old maybe not so much but then again she had a girlfriend from high school who had bright red hair but it looked good on her.  I don’t know some people can pull off the crazy colors better than others and not even crazy.  Everyone can’t pull off blond and/or red based on their skin color and tone.  I have digressed so much. LOL

This past weekend was my family reunion in sunny Cleveland!! As always I had a great time!  And not to embarrass him but my brother was having several emotional moments.  At one point it was like WTF are you crying about now?!?!? He and another cousin just had to talk out things that men sometimes just don’t on a regular basis and it was cleansing.  It’s just good to see everyone the older family members who are still looking good and the babies who just got here!

I just brushed my teeth but I missed my tongue so it really feels like I need to go redo it.  Plus I really hate brushing my teeth in the same bathroom that someone is pooping in a stall near me.  Life would be so much better if I had my own personal bathroom.  And it will happen when I start ChickiCo! 

I Binged (the same as googling) my name.  It is funny and scary at the same the information that popped up.  Nothing too crazy but if I had a stalker they might actually be able to find me.  Thankfully only one picture… Hmmm my curiosity got the better of me I just goggled and more pics popped up : O so yeah be careful what you like on all the social medias. WOW!!

Why do men become 100% more attractive when you find out they have a girl/wife!?!?  I’m not that chick to be dating married men (well you know not ON PURPOSE… I mean it has happened kinda sorta on accident… don’t judge me LOL).  They also become more of appeal when you know they don’t want you no mo which works both ways.  I am moving on and he is professing his undying love. **LOUD SIGH**

It is Capital Jazz fest this weekend. Tonight is King, En Vogue, and New Edition… I’m cueing up some King now!! Tomorrow is Lalah and Erro… hmm I wonder if they will do their duet together?? I wonder if the rain will go ahead and stop being a bitch and just let the sun come on out?!?! I wonder where my plastic wine pouch is? And I wonder if the little boys they hire for this big event will chill out and let me slip my libations in without too much hassle?  I wonder if there will be any available cuties there?  I know they exist. Single men are not unicorns!!  EWWW… I wonder if the dude from the concert a few weeks ago will be there?? I wonder if I talked to him if the cellulite girl would have got made?  I wonder why I act like I aint got cellulite?? LOL  ACTUALLY though I am pretty tight except for those few annoying dimples. My booty don’t jiggle.  I wonder if that is the problem?  But the booty don’t lie.  I wonder if I will get any work done today?  I wonder if I shoulda stayed my booty home and pretended to work? I wonder what the heck I’ma wear tonight?  AND tomorrow… what I’m gon wear? I wonder if I am hitting the right note as I sing along with King?  Prolly not!!!  LOL