...what I'm posed to do now?

why are the FAQ never NEVER the questions I need answered?  Who are the people that come up with these questions?




Why do I have to 'talk' to the computer over the phone for a good 2-3 minutes before they will just go ahead and transfer me to a live person? 




why do cars speed up when they KNOW I need to get over into that lane?  I am friends with my turn signals so there is or should never be a question about what I'm doing.  But some people are just meanies.




I am convinced Lexus and Mercedes driver's either don't give a crap about their cars which makes NO sense since they spent SO much on it, OR they think they are exempt for accidents because they drive said cars. I get cut off more by these cars than others.  Last night the guy in a Lexus truck high beamed me because he wanted the right of way even though it made more sense for him to stop and let me go BUT he didn't and I stopped and he got by so maybe they are exempt!??


I'm not really doing as many outdoor activities as I would like.  This past weekend was also Capital Jazz but the line-up was just so/so.  I never really bothered to get tickets.  Last year I was a ticket arranging queen!!  I went Friday and Saturday.  This year I just didn't get anything together.  But 1 thing that has come back is Jazzy Summer Nights!  I love this because it has put me onto some artist that I still love like Anthony David, Deborah Bond, Sy Smith, EVEN Fertile Ground and Eric Roberson were featured artist back in the day!! And I'm glad I got to see Chuck Brown!!  His band and the energy of the go-go crowd is freaking amazing!  This past week was Jeff Bradshaw a trombone player out of Philly.  He has played with everyone!! I actually like his stuff but he tends to play other folks song but he keeps the crowd pumped.  Here's what had went wrong... SO I get there and peruse the scene and decide what I need to eat.  It is time for a lil chicken wing or something.  Island Quizine was set up, food ready and smelling good.  But they are right at the bottom of my street and I go there often enough and I wanted to try something new.  There were 3 or 4  other vendor and I chose 1.  Now I won't say their name because that's just not cool and they will eventually get it together but that night was not their night.  I get to the booth and see scrambling.  They are getting set up which doesn't annoy me, but it does raise somewhat of a flag because it is after 6 and they should be ready to go.  But I push on.  I see chicken wings ready and I decide to get fried fish because WHY would I get something I know is ready?!?!  (SMH) I have to get the little girls attention and basically beg her to take my money.  At this point my gut says CHICK go on over to Island Quizine because you know it's gonna be good and it's ready.  BUT NO I ignore my inner voice and order this food.  Once I place my order I expect for the guy at the fryer to throw some fish in the deep fryer, but nope, he adds more chicken.  I ask about how long it's going to be and she says I'll bring it to you.  I point out my pink chair and I'm like COOL!!  But then 15 minutes pass I look back and no one is coming my way.  A 1/2 hour passes and I know good and damn well fish don't take 30 minutes to fry so I go back to the booth.  The lil girl says OH I didn't forget about you and I'm like OK but when is the fish gonna be done?  At this point there is more scrambling and general chaos of a very unorganized nature. There are like 3 other people trying to fill orders.  After another 10 minutes and asking EVERYONE when the fish was gonna be done AND people getting food before me when I know that I ordered and way before them I got really frustrated and was like well just give me my money back!  That's didn't work.  WHEN IS THE FISH GONNA BE DONE?!?!? Ok you know what just give me the wings and sides.  I really think I'm making out better.  I am thoroughly pissed but I grab my food and sit my hongry (which is way beyond hungry) ass down.  Grab a wing, it's good!!  Thank God because well... ok take a bite of the mac N Cheese.  Hole up WHY is this shit sweet?  I have never in all my years had sweet mac N cheese.  It was not good AT ALL!  So let me taste these greens that look so goo... WHY ARE THESE SHITS COLD AND SWEET?!?!  How do you make greens sweet?  And why are they sweet? WHY Little Baby Jesus?!?!  WHY???  I inhale the wings I really do want to go back and throw the sides on them.  I wanted fish and fries but I got wings and horrible sides. But I'm good my stomach was full and I'm going to find them on the Facebook and send them a lil note.


I worked a prom this weekend and it was really rather boring!  Maybe because I was just serving soda and juice or maybe because the dj was WHACK!! I felt his doucheiness when he came to my bar and didn't look up from his phone.  DOOD you are not that busy or important, so I ignored him.  The kids were nice enough.  But it was just a long night with NO tips LOL.  The dresses though UGH... so this is the one maybe even the 1st opportunity to wear a beautiful gown. But these girls just wore dresses that they could wear any day mainly to the beach or to the club.  They just were not very prom-like. Now there were a few gowns but the mainly freakum dresses.  This guys well I mean there is not much you can do with a tux.  There was 1 guy with white shoes with gold tips and a guy with a purple plaid jacket and they both looked like the NFL draft (I was gonna say clowns.. but they kids so I'll give them a pass) dudes. They had glow stick and flashy rings that I felt the need to put in my bag.  I have hoarding tendencies so YES they will go in the garbage soon but I needed them!  They also had a casino theme, so they got fake money and chips and I guess they had fun.  The people who ran the casino were the Dundalkiest people I have seen in a while and they all seemed a lil high.  And then management. **LOUD SIGH** I usually have a great disdain for managers, there is always 1 or 2 that are cool, but 90% of the time they are just assholes.  And this place is no different.  The 1 manager talks around me never asking me directly to do anything he'll say miss or ma'am, have Gus tell you where to find the candles or Gus go find the bowls for the mixed nuts and I'm standing right there... it's just frustrating and passive aggressive.  I worked with 1 of the newer bartenders who was extra for no good reason and toward the end of the night got very annoying and a bit racist. The company I work for is 95% Hispanic, so he would add O on the end of words thinking it was funny but it wasn't. And then they made me move tables and set tables and honestly, that aint in my job description.  My way of getting back at them is to take a big bottle of sprite! LOL

and I hope this message stays in your mind...

Someone had a ‘Carcetti for Mayor’ bumper sticker this morning. I’ve been wanting a shirt that said that.  I also was a ‘Vote for Pedro’ tee shirt.  Here is where my randomness might not be for you because I’m sure I already lost a few and we just begun.

It truly tickles me when folks say YOU FORGOT TO ADD THIS TO THE BLOG!!! And then I’m like did you really want my spin on it cause maybe you don’t… OR maybe you do?!?!?  SO it is wedding/prom/graduation season.  I haven’t been to a wedding but I have been to a graduation and a prom send off.   I went all the way to ATL to see my nephew #2 graduate from Georgia State University. I did a kinda sorta embarrassing pic on the Facebook mainly because I am so proud of him.  One of the things I said was that it was expected and it was!  Graduating from high school and then going to college was always expected in my household.  I don’t even know if I knew there was a choice.  It got to a point when I was really indecisive that my mom was like if I didn’t decide I had to go to Pitt (University of Pittsburgh) which in retrospect I still would have had to apply, but I felt like she knew the right people that I could have just went.  She also said if I didn’t go to college I would have to work at Giant Eagle. All I could envision was working in the deli shaving up chipped ham LOL  I am glad that my oldest 2 nephews have degrees. Now I’m not sure what is going to happen with my nieces because they live different lives were I’m not sure if education is an expectation.  I want them to finish high school and go to college and I want them to be AKA’s (my sorority) and I want them to know there is a big world out there.  But they might not have that same expectation that I had.  The 16 yr old, I need for him to GET IT and finish high school and he will go somewhere most likely on an athletic scholarship.  And the god babies… well they have no choice either.  Onto the proms… So we have seen all the pics on Facebook and Instagram maybe even the twitter.  One of my girlfriends has a son who is about to graduate so he of course he went to the prom.  She decided to do have food and drinks at her house.  This mofo (my friend not her son) did not have a wine opener in her whole ENTIRE HOUSE!!! I don’t know how she lives her life day to day with only an electric wine opener that decided not to work when she had a house full of people who were demanding wine, but she does.  The good thing is I live literally about 5-7 minutes from her and got one for her to HAVE.  I mean the wineaux that I am I usually carry a wine key with me at all time cause you know just like condoms, you never know when wine might come up.  Did I just compare wine to sex?!?!  hmmm… YES!!!! I remember my wine key getting confiscated at the TSA one time when I was travelling a lot for work and I mean I get it, it did have a knife on it and I could have hijacked the plane and no one wants that.  So yeah…  other than that her son was handsome, he did a black on black and his date did black and white with the pink hair which on her looked appropriate.  A 50 yr old maybe not so much but then again she had a girlfriend from high school who had bright red hair but it looked good on her.  I don’t know some people can pull off the crazy colors better than others and not even crazy.  Everyone can’t pull off blond and/or red based on their skin color and tone.  I have digressed so much. LOL

This past weekend was my family reunion in sunny Cleveland!! As always I had a great time!  And not to embarrass him but my brother was having several emotional moments.  At one point it was like WTF are you crying about now?!?!? He and another cousin just had to talk out things that men sometimes just don’t on a regular basis and it was cleansing.  It’s just good to see everyone the older family members who are still looking good and the babies who just got here!

I just brushed my teeth but I missed my tongue so it really feels like I need to go redo it.  Plus I really hate brushing my teeth in the same bathroom that someone is pooping in a stall near me.  Life would be so much better if I had my own personal bathroom.  And it will happen when I start ChickiCo! 

I Binged (the same as googling) my name.  It is funny and scary at the same the information that popped up.  Nothing too crazy but if I had a stalker they might actually be able to find me.  Thankfully only one picture… Hmmm my curiosity got the better of me I just goggled and more pics popped up : O so yeah be careful what you like on all the social medias. WOW!!

Why do men become 100% more attractive when you find out they have a girl/wife!?!?  I’m not that chick to be dating married men (well you know not ON PURPOSE… I mean it has happened kinda sorta on accident… don’t judge me LOL).  They also become more of appeal when you know they don’t want you no mo which works both ways.  I am moving on and he is professing his undying love. **LOUD SIGH**

It is Capital Jazz fest this weekend. Tonight is King, En Vogue, and New Edition… I’m cueing up some King now!! Tomorrow is Lalah and Erro… hmm I wonder if they will do their duet together?? I wonder if the rain will go ahead and stop being a bitch and just let the sun come on out?!?! I wonder where my plastic wine pouch is? And I wonder if the little boys they hire for this big event will chill out and let me slip my libations in without too much hassle?  I wonder if there will be any available cuties there?  I know they exist. Single men are not unicorns!!  EWWW… I wonder if the dude from the concert a few weeks ago will be there?? I wonder if I talked to him if the cellulite girl would have got made?  I wonder why I act like I aint got cellulite?? LOL  ACTUALLY though I am pretty tight except for those few annoying dimples. My booty don’t jiggle.  I wonder if that is the problem?  But the booty don’t lie.  I wonder if I will get any work done today?  I wonder if I shoulda stayed my booty home and pretended to work? I wonder what the heck I’ma wear tonight?  AND tomorrow… what I’m gon wear? I wonder if I am hitting the right note as I sing along with King?  Prolly not!!!  LOL

even when the condition is critical, your living is miserable, you position is pivital, I aint bullshiting you!!

NOW, why would I lie? just to get by...
My titles continue to be song lyric even though I am utterly convinced only a few know what the hell I'm talking about.  I saw this video the other day.  And Talib Kweli is on the talk show on HBO right now... Bill Maher so I knew this title was correct and right!

I sit at the 'crossroads' of the outer cube nation and the region which I have named the cube village. Smaller than cube nation but not quite big enough for a city... so village it is.  Folks come at stand looking hella lost usually because by the time they get to me they usually have come too far and need some assistance.  If they give me eye contact I usually will help them including the janitor who had the vacuum strapped to her back looking like a Ghost Buster!  I still don't know if someone got sick or what because I got so tickle by what she looked like.  And her English is not on fleek so it took a second for me to understand the location she was looking for.  
i like saying something is NOT on fleek because it's so funny to me.  His English was not on fleek.  Her driving was not on fleek... maybe because saying ON FLEEK is such a silly term to me.

I can't even remember when I wrote this so lets just act like it was yesterday...
I need for this woman to not only stop clomping past my desk but also STOP TALKING TO ME!! 1^st I always have my headphones on so I can never hear you.  2^nd you walk past my desk a bazillion and one times every day WHY do you think we have that much convo, we really don’t. 3^rd you have told me you are not busy, but that doesn’t mean I’m not.  LEMME LONE!!

Last night School Daze was on.  I loved that movie as a kid.  It definitely cemented in my brain that I needed to go to an HBCU so that I too could have that experience. I was struck by a few things. 1. Greeks are crazy!!  Meaning they (we) do some real questionable things in the name of love for the frat or sorority.  Looking from the outside in why WOULD you want to get your ass beat to belong to any organization?  
I had more thoughts... but like I said this was a few weeks ago. What I was thinking about also was sex scenes that changed my life.  Well you know as a kid when you see people having the secks on the big screen it affects you.  SO I was like 13/14 when School Daze came out so when I saw Tisha Campbell licked ALL over Dean Big Brother ALL-MY-TEE, I was like are you supposed to do alladat for a dude?  Cause I just don't know about licking his head AND brands.  That's a lil nasty!  And even today at 41 it's still a little nasty.  I'ma leave that right there.  Another scene was the barn scene from Purple Rain.  I was a little younger and a little more impressionable and my sister convinced my mom that it would be ok to take me but my little eyes almost bugged completely outta my head when Apollonia was having the secks with Prince!  Prince is 5 foot nothing and he got ALL the girls and I understood right then and there why he did!! All I remember thinking was OOOHHH!!!

The roommate chronicles continue but they are little less funny than they were before.  Mainly because the decline has been severe and rapid.  What I think is funny now might not be to others, but laughter cleanses the spirit.  Like the time I tried to change her gown and i just couldn't get it over her right arm so I said fuck it and threw a sheet over her.  The aid was coming in a few hours and it's summer so she wasn't gonna freeze.  I have 3 African angels that see my face and know I don't know what the hell I'm doing and just care for my mother with such gentleness that I don't even think she appreciates but I SOOO DO!!  And then I also have a Baltimore angel who talks my ear off cause she is my might person but she is a sweetie pie and has a genuinely good heart.  I have a team cause I know I can't do it alone!  Things are really going well so I can't complain.  

I witnessed some road rage that was freaking hilarious last week.  So they are redoing Red Run and McDonogh near my job.  Whoever job it is to paint the lines didn't do a complete job.  There should be 2 lanes making the left onto Red Run, but some folks got confused and decided to make the inner most non-lane a lane and that created some issue.  So the BIG truck was in the wrong but the little Fiesta (any car that's a lil ass hatchback is a Fiesta to me) got mad and they were fussing back and forth through the window.  Dude in the Fiesta told the Truck guy to PULL OVER SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS!!!  Well truck dude was all mouth cause he just kept driving and keeping pace with the Fiesta dude and I couldn't get around.  Alls I wanna so is get home at this point but these 2 idiots are trying to see who is bigger CLEARLY the Fiesta dude cause he was ready for a fight whereas truck dude made a left into Foxridge and then Fiesta dude drove away. It was funny because nothing really happened.  I usually just fuss in my car at whatever dumb shit the person in front of me or beside me is doing, but I'm not sure what I would actually do if I was challenged.  That's like George following the guy all the way to whatever far off borough because he though the guy gave him the middle finger when in actuality he had a cast on his arm and the middle finger was placed in an up position.  Goerge was SO MAD but then he felt silly after the fact.  Road rage can be dangerous so I think I will stick to fussing at people from the car.  OHy ou gon get called a few choice words and that makes me feel better about my life!!