THANK LBJ IT'S FRIDAY!!

I’m used to being a contractor.  I really am.  It fits my gypsy lifestyle.  Not that I pick and move homes, but jobs, OH YEAH!! So I’ve been at my current location since 2012.  I count it by family reunions.  I have had 3…  My mother’s side of the family has been doing a reunion since 1978 on even year usually on Memorial Day weekend.  So in 2012 after giving a 4 month notice that I was going to Dallas my manager asked if I could change my day off to Wednesday NO ma’am I cannot.  I high tailed it out of there as soon as I could. Dallas in 2012, Memphis in 2014 and (sunny) Cleveland 2016. It is time to GO!   And wouldn’t you know it they didn’t extend my contract!  I am a firm believer that you speak things into existence so you have to be careful.  I have been saying out loud for some time that my contract ends 6/30/16 and for people on the team to not make plans for me after that date. So I have a few things I need to wrap up but I’m not starting anything new.  There are some embers in the fire that need to be poked and a few new ventures that might be really exciting.  MEANWHILE I am so ready for another vacation!!  Thank you LBJ for the account I use for playtime!  I just saw Travel Zoo listing for a trip to Greece. I would love to go back to Greece.  But that flight alone is more than I care to really think about.  I think what I will do is go to wherever Southwest goes.

WHY do I like this Miguel song How many drinks? It has Kendrick Lamar, but the lyrics... LAWD ‘how many drinks would it take you to be with me to; yeah you look good and I got money but I don’t wanna waste my time. Back of my mind I’m hoping you say 2 or 3’ LOL And I so get it I don’t got time to waste neither!!  So what we doing!?  And then Kendrick says ‘no no no I aint judging if you do decide that we will be f***ing tonight’ But men do judge!!  I’m listening to a playlist well someone’s playlist cause I still can’t figure it out on the Spotify. They always look at you different if they can hit it quickly and then the ones you make wait are usually whack!! Actually this play list is pretty good.  I’ve had to skip a few songs but I mean for something I didn’t specifically create it’s not bad... like now Body party by Ciara gets a skip LOL BUT I Still Love You by 702 gets a sing along.

I’m back to me being a contractor and I was thinking of the things I will miss.  Not much… LOL  A few people (and I do mean a few!), the scenery from the 4^th floor kitchen which is very lush and green and uuuuhhhh… yep that’s it.  Maybe the occasional cute security guard oh and the cute black manager (yes there is only 1). 

So I just signed up to get an update when Hamilton tickets are available.  It’s on Broadway and I want to see it because everyone says it’s great.  I think I might go up one day and just do a few shows and a little hopping.  YES, me shop LOL.  I made a rationale to myself that it’s not that I don’t like shopping I just don’t like malls but I do like the act of shopping. 

I am listening to one of my podcasts, The Friend Zone, and Fran (@heyfranhey) just said something that hit real close.  She is talking about journaling.  I guess I use this as a journal to an extent but I do find that I edit myself because I just do. The journal by my bed is the one where the shit unedited. REWRITE YOUR LIFE!!! That’s what she just said. Write everything down even the things that are embarrassing.  How do you want your life to be.  And what caught my attention as I was listening is that she said sometimes life is so heavy and that you can’t catch a break and that Does God hare me!? IS this a prank? I for real FOR REAL feel like this some days.  Yesterday I was thinking God must be letting satan do me like he did Job because this is too much for it to actually be real life right now!! And I mean I get through it (my good days outweigh my bad days) but it’s those times when the bad just over power me that I think nope… I quit!  I’m done being an adult!!  Let me go find a park and just run and play let someone else worry about the real shit.  And that is what I need to do, rewrite my life! Even the relationship piece I really do enjoy doing things by myself and I often wonder why I am even trying to be with someone until I am and that closeness and intimacy is great and I know that being with someone is what I do want, until I don’t. See right there I was about to say something and edited it because it was way too personal.  Just think of the India.Arie song Brown Skin... that’s where I was!! Men are just as complicated as women.  They don’t say what they want maybe because they don’t know.  I asked the question WHAT DO YOU WANT and the guy looked at me with a blank stare like I was asking him to jump off a cliff.  I need to stop settling and/or doing things that don’t create lasting relationships.  One guy was like can’t we just be friends and I was like well we never were friends so why we gonna start now? So I know it’s me sometimes and HIM most of the time LOL  I’ve created a nice little wall that gets chipped away at and then I start rebuilding when he (whoever the he is) start acting dumb or at least what I consider to be dumb.  I was real ready to cuss this one guy smooth out and I caught myself before I got to the crazy chick point because he is not going to hear and receive what I have to say with me at 100 and him at 15. So I chilled!! And I’ma be chilled!