repeat after me... WOOSAI!

I have already had a pretty interesting week and it's just Tuesday.  So yesterday I'm driving to my temp job and a suv is blocking the way.  It looks like he about to move but then he just doesn't so I roll my window down and say CAN YOU MOVE!!!  I have a little bit of attitude because I am on time and this fool is making me late.  He was kinda cute but though... He says 'Do you work here?' I say YES!!  And then as I roll my window up I'm saying to myself out loud 'why the fuck else would I be trying to park here!?!?!' The attitude escalated!!  Then I see all the police cars as I'm walking into the job and my co-workers looking out the windows and I'm like AAAHHH HELL!!!  What is REALLY going on here?!?!?  So I stroll in and sit down and they let me know that all the police are here because 42 is about to enter the building!!  Oh you know who President Bill Clinton!!!  And I get a little excited and giddy and think back to the fact that he is the 1st president I voted for when I turned 18 right off the good VSU campus.  But then the idea was quickly dashed of me meeting him because the motorcade and police escorts were already in place and they parked the plane the opposite direction of the building so no one even got to see him except for those few people that were supposed to.  So I started my day.  And about a 1/2 hour later waved to the car/limo that may or may not have had him!  So that was cool.  I can say I met him y'all wouldn't know!!!  And then the day just got busy.  I work in an hr department for an aviation company. A little girl (they're all little girls and boys to me) comes in to have unemployment paperwork completed even though this fool didn't even work a full 2 days!  In a nut shell she was supposed to start training, she had a death in the family; the company was willing to work with her and push out her start date, but according to the paperwork, she said they fired her; which they did not. They ignored her calls for the rest of the day (notice I said they... I aint have nothing to do with that!!) so the afternoon came and she stormed in the office and demanded to speak to the hr manager who didn't really know the circumstances but still proceeded to say you have wasted our time and money BUT we are STILL willing to work with you. This lil TRICK goes into a full meltdown tantrum!! She starts yelling, screaming and then crying AND THEN she throws he keys and phone on the floor and runs out.  We look at her stunned!! There was a male manager who went after her because all the women (there were 3 of us) looked at here like she was crazy and allowed the tantrum. So yadda yadda yadda (that means there is way more to the story, but you getting the quick and dirty) the police come take a report only after she calls the manager a bitch and says she is gonna sue her because she hurt her feelings.  The last time I checked, you can't sue some one for hurting your feelings!  I mean if that were the case I would have many suits pending both ones I filed and ones people filed against me.  That was just a bit much!  Also I am doing a pre-screening of applicants and one of the questions is 'Have you resided in the US for 5 years?' With people with noticeable accents they say yes I have and I move on... OH BUT not the dudes and dudettes born here.  RESIDE so like what that mean? No I haven't resided here.  Well what other countries have you lived?  Oh the USA. So you have lived here for the past 5 years?  OH YEAH!!!  Words mean things, but I didn't know the word RESIDE would trip up so many.  So now I say LIVED!!

And TODAY... I was in customer service hell.  One company I got transferred 5 times in about 5 minutes, so the last lil girl they transferred me to, I started laughing.  Well she didn't like that but I didn't give any fucks. IT. WAS. FUNNY. I still didn't get to the right department, I'll just try again tomorrow. AND then I ordered something wrong and attempted to correct my order, after several transfers they gave me someone who not only spoke English as a second language but he was also snippy! At one point I said WE CANNOT BOTH TALK AT THE SAME TIME AND I AM NOT FINISHED!!!! At the end of an absolute waste of time call this fool said 'can I place the order for you?'  I said Nope cause that's not what I need and I am tired of talking to you!!  He then goes into script mode with were you satisfied with the call?  Have I resolved your issue?  Yadda yadda yah.... I say NOPE... but you have a good night! He still kept talking and I hung the phone right on up!!  LASTLY this one manager who I guess doesn't realize his shit stinks like ALL of ours decides to let me know what needs to be done to complete an order he could have let me know hours before as I am closing down and putting on my coat I say OH yep, I will get right on that and leave!!! LIKE MUFUCCA I ASKED YOU HOURS AGO what was needed and I have had ENOUGH of you and you people in this lil ass office.  So it will wait until i remember to do it tomorrow!!  It's just Tuesday and the only reason why I'm not having a drink is cause I have been getting these horrible sinus headaches when I drink... Although I didn't this past weekend.

This past weekend, I helped celebrate one of my friend's 50 birthday.  I actually bartended Saturday, but the sangria made (I didn't make it) Friday (oh it was an EVENT!!!) didn't cause any headache pain so I was hella happy.  SOOooo... Ima talk about the party even though he might be one of my readers?!?!?  Iono not really anything bad, but black folks, we can be so extra sometimes for no GOOD reason. And I know at events like this you have your folks who drink and those who don't.  But ma'am sir EVERYTHING right in front of me has likka, so if you wan't non alcoholic, go over there to the water and tea.  YES that is the only thing with no likka!  Yes the sangria has wine!  UH YES the light stuff has sparkling wine AND coconut rum.  YES!!!! The martini has vodka... which is likka.  Oh you wanted NO LIKKA... YES the water and tea is right there!!  Yes coconut rum means alcohol!!  Oh you want a taste?!?!  You know this has alcohol right?!?!?  OH IT'S GOOD?!?!?  OF COURSE IT IS!!!! I MADE IT!!!!  It actually was a fun night and my friend had a blast!!  He worked a whole lot for his own birthday AND they didn't cut the cake but it was a really nice event!!

And onto the roommate aka Barb who has been living in an assisted living for a while now.  I go in there most days my girl is sleep and/or sleepy.  But some days I get very lucid very informed conversation.  So one of these lucid days she says, 'Do you have a boyfriend?' I am hella shocked because even though we did used to talk about boys and men back in the day, the past 5-7 years not so much.  I say NO!!  And then she says 'Well you need one so he can take you to dinner!!' I say yes mom you're so right cause I do like to eat LOL  She be knowing!! so I guess I need to get myself out there so I can be found!!

who can I run to?

I'm sitting here in my office in my free green shirt I got from 'Be the Match' and my Kermit bottoms.  Not sure why that is important but what is important is I'm starting my job search again and it is a bit daunting.  I'm on LinkedIn now and looking at some previous co-workers who have moved up in the ranks.  I always wonder if I stayed if I too would have been given the opportunity to move up.  I left one company because I knew there was no other choice as I sat in a room after having gotten yet another manager (I went through 3 in 1 year) and for them to ring the praises of a young white male co-worker.  Basically he could do whatever he wanted in the company.  I along with another black female coworker looked at each other like well what about us?  I can't remember if she was pregnant at the time, which shouldn't matter because women can do it all, right? I sat there frustrated and sad thinking they really don't care about me AT ALL. And then a follow-up meeting with yet another manager because then they merged teams, proceeded to tell me how unready I was for a course the company offered and that maybe I should rethink some things.  I called a co-worker/friend and told her I had to get outta here!!!  Which I did.  So when I presented my resignation to the manager, she acted like I stabbed her in the back when she was the one who thwarted my advancement.  Should I have stayed and let them remind me again and again that I was unready? I wonder... This is the same company that when I was trying to go from temp to permanent  having gone to HR to see what else I needed to do was told I was too aggressive and had an attitude. I think it was best to leave there. So ok onto the new company where everything is shiny and new.  I applied for a senior position maybe 2 years later and again was told I wasn't ready EVEN THOUGH they gave it to someone a few years later that I trained; a white male.  I'm not trying to make this a racial post but it is curious how things are afforded to others that are not me when I am more than qualified.  At one point I was just trying to get out of my current department and was applying for EVERYTHING and nothing worked.  I had an interview with someone who literally made me hold in the tears until I got to the bathroom because this fool didn't bother to look at my resume and even though my degree is in marketing said I really didn't know anything about marketing and he wasn't sure why he was even interviewing me.  WHEW the things I have endured.  I gave that job almost 5 years of my life and who knows maybe I should have stayed there but my spirit knew that nothing good was going to come out of that.  But maybe just maybe I should be resigned to be miserable and just make the money?  There are very few people who I know personally who actually love their job.  My mom is 1 of a very few people.  She loved teaching.  She got excited about how she was going to do things differently for a new batch of kids.  She tried to get me excited about map skills, which I was not BUT I can read a map before GPS was even around so there's that!! I'm lacking a passion for doing something, ANYTHING!  And now at 43, I think I might actually have to start over.  It's both irritating and exhilarating.  I recently read an article about a woman who took a coding course I think she was in her 50's.  I don't have a problem with learning something new... So what the heck is my problem?  I have a friend who is taking a typing class because he really can't type well.  I need to do something and it probably needs to be sooner than later.

I've always said I wanted to work at a small to medium sized company yet I have ended up at these large companies where I am literally a  number to them.  How do you even grow in companies like that? I'm contemplating writing to someone who I had a bs interview with last week. I know it's inappropriate, but I already don't have the job so what harm could it do?  Even though I am disappointed in her for not hiring me, I'm more disappointed in myself for not saying that one right thing but who the hell knows what that is?!  Let me click off her page before I do something dumb. In fact, let me get outta LinkedIn for now because it's driving me crazy.

What I need to do I go take a nice shower and call about my car.  Oh yeah I was in an accident a few weeks ago which is a whole other blog I need to write but probably won't because it angers me to think about it.  Then I need to do inventory of my jewelry, yep I sell jewelry.  And then go look at my mom who may or may not be sleep and may or may not want to talk to me today. AND eat!!  I definitely need to eat!!

this feels like summer...

I'm in a group on the Facebook and the question was posed, would you rather give up your phone (meaning cell phone I assumed) or sex for a year.  Without much thought or hesitation I said MY PHONE!!  Now this doesn't mean I am sex crazed, but I know for sure I can stand to be a little less connected.  I remember back when all you had was a house phone and you had to either be home to get (or make) a call or you just missed it.  There was no voice mail, no answering machine, no caller id NONE of that.  Now it's like every ding the phone makes I jump, WE all jump because that is the nature of how things are now.  You have the regular phone on your phone where you can make calls, get voicemail and receive texts, but then in addition you can get emails from ALL of your email accounts, Facebook, twitter, snapchat, instagram, google hangout, tumblr, you can shop on Amazon, QVC, HSN, Wayfair, you can get all the music you need from Spotify, Pandora, SoundCloud, you can also look at all of your bank statements and then if you are bored you can play all the games you want to play because surely you don't have enough occupying your time with all of the above ... AND it's just too much!! When you are by yourself you're on your phone. When you are with friends STILL on your phone because you want to know what other people are saying and doing and/or showing them what you are doing.  No one is living in the moment and enjoying right now because they are too busy trying to capture it to look at in a future that will never come.  I have several friends (so no one person will get offended LOL) that can not bear to step away for any long period of time. So yeah I'll take sex! I've never had anyone check a message in the throws of passion.  I can wait to get home to use the house phone and get on my computer.  I clicked on a video of SZA at AfroPunk New York on YouTube and all you saw were a sea of phones in the air. I didn't even end up watching the video but someone in the comments said PUT THE PHONES DOWN!! Which I hopped on a and had a few comments myself.  There are still a few artists who insist that you put down your phone.  I was there when Lalah Hathaway refused to keep going until someone put their phone down.  It's just such a distraction and I think we need a lil apocalypse so we can get back to enjoying each other.  There was a TV show a few years back called Revolution, electricity stopped and people had to move on and figure out the best way to live their lives without it.  The show was rather interesting I mean it got a little ridiculous as most sci-fi show tend to get after a while but I really loved the premise.  I just goggled it, it only had 2 seasons, but they were long ass seasons. Anyway I digress as I tend to do... Give me all the secks!!!

As summer is surely coming to a close I have almost completed (well like 95%) one of my summer project which was to paint all the metal outside of my house.  I got the front and back railing, the front lamp post (which I still don't think has electricity to it and MAYBE it is a flag pole after all??), and the back swing set which i will use to hang pretty stuff I get from QVC from.  I still need to do the flower bed or maybe it was a bird bath, and the cellar door.  I might go back to Ace and get a fun color because I did all of the above in flat black, which I coulda sworn I got glossy black, but it is way to late for me to go back now.  It looks good!!  And it makes me feel proud to be a home owner. My creepy neighbor who's work hours I do not want to learn has seen me in the front and in the back painting.  He comes over and chats, asks about my mom and it's all good.  The one time though he comes over and says 'Why didn't you have me paint all of this?' And I look at him like WHET?!?!  Umm... Cause I can paint!  most of the stuff around here I can do.  The he says 'Well you know I do houses and stuff so you should get me to help you'. UHHH NO!!!  This is the one who's wife JUST started speaking to me.  I mean most of my neighbors it's just a hi/bye kinda thing.  Every once in a while they come over and chat for a minute, but nothing heavy duty. When he 1st moved in he wanted to mow my lawn, he saw I was struggling and I appreciated the offer but NO!  At that point I wasn't sure if the woman was the girlfriend or wife or WHAT, so yeah, NO... NOW he wants my lawn guy to mow his lawn and my lawn dude was like NO!  I don't think he cares for him.  My lawn dude is retired and does what he wants.  So back to the convo we were having after he's telling me how he can do all this stuff that I didn't ask him to do.  So then he says' Oh you one of those independent women?' And I stop what I'm doing and say WELL YES I AM!! Now here's thing, I am independent out of necessity. I don't have a man or husband and sure, I could pay someone to do whatever needs to get done, but I don't have any extra money for that, and I actually enjoy doing the things I can do around MY house.  It was said as an insult like HOW DARE YOU BE INDEPENDENT!!!  I have a plan for the house this year and it was painting the metal, and the concrete and washing the front porch (with the cleaner I got on the HSN LOL). What it didn't include was answering to some man that pays not one single bill in this house and who is way to uncute to offer anything else to me.  So yeah, I'm independent!!  I know what I need to do and when I need to do it.  I've been stock piling supplies since the beginning of summer so nope don't ask about the shed because that wasn't in the plan for this year and no I don't want your extra random paint you have from whatever job you were on.  I'm good!  I try to be nice but I really want to say just leave me alone!! So I still have a few more things to do and hopefully they will get done before it gets too cold.

As a bartender I work at a club in Baltimore and so many events have soooo many white men!  It just bothers me so much.  Like you guys couldn't have 1 diversity hire?  This event was a real estate company and the one young lady who was white was an intern, so she was getting drinks for the men.  There was a woman who was 'other', she wasn't black and I couldn't get a good enough look at her to figure out what she was, but I think she was the admin.  there was this other event where the man was quite proud of his company only doing business by word of mouth.  And that is the big problem.  You deal with people you know who usually look like you so you don't even think to include folks who don't look like you which is why it's so hard for black films to get green lit in and when they do they hold the weight of the entire black community on them because they just HAVE to do well or else nothing else will get green lit!  I just scoured NBC and CBS to see what new shows are on.  So far Marlon is the only full 'black' show but they also just canceled Carmichael on NBC so is that a true win? ABC has the most diverse show thanks to Shonda.  I didn't mean to get into entertainment but you can see it better there.  I worked in an office in downtown Baltimore where the only black folks were admins or custodial and there were like 2 in upper management, but that place didn't even interview me even though they told me to apply so I knew there was some fracken nackle going on there!! 

I got up to go eat and completely lost my train of thought!!

CUBA!!

This year the girls trip (well my onliest trip because the chick is financially modest) was to Cuba!! It wasn't last minute, but the plans were not as far enough in advance as I usually like to make them.  It ended being a WONDERFUL trip and if you get the chance, go sooner than later.  We don't know what the political climate will be so just go now is my advice.
Now I started this blog soon after I came home... and that was as far as I got.  Then I got a dumb lil temp job where they actually expect me to work (imagine that!?) so I haven't been able to write on the sly. So here goes...
Normally when I plan things it is months AND months in advance.  This one was like well let's look up some Air BnB's and let's get a ticket! Our lodging was good but in retrospect I would have like to have done a little more research and maybe stay a little closer to either Old Havana or the beach. (this is Tip #2 even though it comes first in the blog... Do your research so that you get what you want) Both I know would have cost more money but our house was quaint and int he middle of a regular neighborhood.  Wait I gotta back up...
The day before we leave my 2 girlfriends from college come and stay with me becasue the tickets from Baltimore were more reasonable than from where they lived.  They came... we at cupcakes drank wine and took our asses to sleep.  The next day we get up go to the airport ready to go to Cuba!! Southwest flies a whole lotta places, but for this particular flight it was a connection through Ft Lauderdale.  As a seasoned traveler I know that you need to look presentable.  For Southwest you really aren't gonna get an upgrade but what you should NOT do is roll to the airport with your gold, leopard print, any color bonnet or scarf and pajamas and then proceed to pat your weave cause NO!! We looking at these chicks, OH because it was about 6 of these heifers not just one, like what in ALL THEE HELL!!!???  And then I get instantly embarrassed like WHY they gotta be black LAWD WHY?!?!?!? A few got on before us and then the rest I guess got on after.  But they just looked hella dumb and we need to do better!! Get to Ft. Lauderdale, change planes for the quick trip to Cuba.  Fill out all the paperwork and be ready to say EDUCATIONAL because that is all you have to say. Why are you going?  Oh for educational purposes!! One of us said well what about people to people?  WE GONNA GET EDUCATED!!! Get off the plane onto the tarmac because that is how alot of places do it. It is HOT... like for REAL HOT!!!  Get into the airport and someone forgot to pay the electric bill because there is NO A/C.  And then we look around to see all the chicas in short skirts with pantyhose or tights.  BABAY... no ma'am!!  I got hot looking at them! The chicos (ok well the one I was fixated on) all seemed to be in tight assed khaki's.  We get our luggage which is always an event because people nowhere understand the concept of a revolving belt.  You see your stuff, TRUST me it's gonna come back around!! But then they had our stuff split up so some came on belt 1 and the rest on belt 2.  At this point we are ret to go and need to exchange money and say to the guard WE NEED TO EXCHANGE MONEY! I haven't started speaking my mangled Spanglish just yet, but he knew what we needed, but instead of pointing us in the right direction he was being an ass and put us out.  SO we have all this American money that they don't want.  Then there is a sea of people and they had my name spelled all kinds of wrong for a pick up.  The guy who picked us up was our driver dude for the rest of the time there.  He had to go get his car.  I sit my butt on a ledge and just people watch. I'm sitting near an older couple, the man I guess went to get the car and the abuela sits there and waits. She gave just about zero fucks about her cart blocking the way.  One man attempted to push her stuff to the side and she went clean off!  He then walked around and she continued her tirade in Spanish TO ME!!  I'm sitting there only catching every 6th word saying Si and nodding my head!  I even threw in a few hand gestures like HOW DARE HE!!! LOL At this point I'm like I really should have brushed up on my Spanish because this is atrocious. Senora Rodriguez, Senor Fabus and Dr. Kishakavictch (my Spanish teachers who have passed away) were all looking down on me like REALLY GIRL, we taught you better!!  Our dude finally comes and it this little car that he lets us know is Russian.  This lil car has no a/c and Cuba has NO emissions so we got lots of smells in the car.  We get to the house and meet our house dude, BOTH are as cute as can be!! Tired and hungry and with american money we get bamboozled a bit... Tip #1 Exchange your money as soon as you can because even though it's 1:1 they really don't like American money and they charge you more if you try to use US dollars.  Our driver dude took us to this restaurant which was good but not $95 worth... It was pasta, but we all had a few drinks so that made it add up as well.  The next day we get CUCs which is Cuban convertible pesos.  There were Cuban pesos but I never did understand what they were.  We did Old Havana which is a maze of streets and shops and vendors with incredible art and courtyards along the way.  The first stop was to try to get some wifi to let our families know we made it safe. We learned that we had to buy cards and then go to the wifi park to use for internet. Oh wait but before that we walked and shopped and and sweated  and went to the bar that Ernest Hemingway wrote at and got a Cuban sandwich (a real one IN CUBA) and daiquiris and listened to the band play.  This is a stop the cruise ship makes so a load of folks came in.  This was definitely a tourist trap but it was still pretty cool.  We stood in line to get the wifi cards and just like in most other Caribbean countries no one is in any major rush to do anything.  What should have taken 10 maybe fifteen minutes ended up being a good hour if not more.  But we meet other Americans and its all good.  We walk some more and I get more tired. So then I'm like NO MAS!!!  I need to sit down somewhere!  Our driver finds the car scoops us up and we go to some little restaurant.  The food here was a lot more reasonable and really good.  We then go to the wifi (pronounced weefee) park which is an actual park outside where folks sit and get the internet.  I'm guessing it is easier to put towers in these locations for people in the neighborhoods.  Everyone has to buy the little cards.  it was 1.50 CUC for an hour which wasn't bad! Later that night we walked to a neighborhood café and OMG when I tell you we had a ton of food for 15 bucks!!  AND it was so good!!!  Now this was what I was waiting for, good, cheap, local food!  And I'm not a huge beer drinker but that thing was so cold and crisp!!
Day 2 - The BEACH!!  Even though Cuba is an island and Havana is on the coast, we still had to drive about a half an hour to get to a nice beach.  The beach was amazing and I got (we well all did) got a nice deep dark tan LOL Later that night we went to a local pizza shop (ok everything is local and mom and pop run).  Come to think of it, there were no chains.  I know the infrastructure will change over the years to come, but right now you just take it as it is and enjoy all the local flair. 
Day 3 - We went to shop some more, but today's quest was cigars.  We bought a few souvenirs which I have yet to give out.  And then we got cigars! And that is all you need to know about that because some things need to stay right in Cuba where it all happened!!! HOOTIE HOO!!!
Day 4 - Travel back home day... **loud sigh**
this was a very relaxing and fun vacation and inexpensive.  Everyone pretty much knows I have 50eleven jobs and a few questioned how I could afford it. BECAUSE I GOT 50ELEVEN JOBS!!!  LOL  No really it wasn't a fancy expensive trip!  I'm sure we could have done the resort route, but I actually really like the Air BnB and the no fuss of it all.  Our house dude cooked breakfast for us every morning.  Our driver dude took us everywhere we needed to go.
OH I FORGOT THE CLUB!!!  We went to da club!! This is really not my thing EXCEPT for on vacation, I can hang!!  This club seemed to attract a lot of travelers.  We sat near a table of guys from Germany (wait was it Germany?). One little guy from NYC I stood behind in line at the bar.  He had no aggression in him and I knew he was not FROM NYC but merely lived there because the ultra loud chick from Boston was like YOU GOTTA JUST GET YOUR DRINK!! Even I tended to be on the nice side until 3 or 4 fools hopped in front me and I was OH HELL NO!!! So I stepped in front of him ordered my drinks and his cause he was taking too damn long! Was that when I broke a glass?  Hmmm... At one point I did just that but the bartender who I guess thought I wasn't drunk enough poured even more rum into the next glass.  That was a fun night.  There were performers and several bands.  The music was great! 
Tip #3 Even if you brush up on your Spanish, the dialect there is different from anything I've heard.  They drop letters like crazy so good luck.  My friend who spoke French (well that's what she took in high school LOL none of us speak anything but English) actually understood and was understood better than me sometimes.  People were very honest also.  We made a pit stop to get ice cream and it was at a gas station.  The woman said 4.50 I think.  I said repete por favor and she just motioned for me to open my hand up with money and she took the correct amount.  She coulda robbed me blind LOL Cuban people were very hospitable. 
And that was about it! 

and that's when my sensitivity gets in the way!

This has been an interesting 2 weeks and on the cusp of my cycle my emotionality didn't help So where shall we start!?!? 

I wrote this last Friday...

Yesterday was absolutely blog worthy!  So Wed I went out and 'drove' for about an hour and got NOTHING.  So I wasted both my time and gas.  Then I get a ping from Lyft that said complete 8 rides between 6-10 on Thursday and Friday and you get a bonus.  BET!!  I'm all about the bonuses.  I set my clock and get my arse up. 1st ride she was just going to work and she was only a few minutes late (not my fault... just FYI).  2nd ride... We only have to give to person 5 minutes to come out and get in the car and then we can cancel. After 2 minutes the app nudges you to call the person.  The rider girl calls me and says she'll be down in 2 minutes.  OK no problem.  3 minutes pass and she calls back and says I'm so sorry I'm coming down the stairs, my son has autism.  What you won't do is blame the baby. Well I can't freaking leave now because the child has to get to his child care place. She steps out of the house platinum blond with THE EYELASHES!  Oh you know the ones where it looks like 2 caterpillars crawled on their face to live out their lives!!  The little boy gets in and is playing Dory on his lil ipad.  But I already know he has special needs so when it plays the same line 20 times in a row I just take it because, right now this aint about me and this comforts him.  We then need to stop at the 7/11 for her to get cream for her coffee and she leaves the lil boy in the car with me.  I guess I look like a nice person.  I mean I AM... but I'm not sure if I would have done that with a complete stranger.  She comes out finally gives him his green soda which is what he asked for. I need to pause right here... SO there are 2 dudes panhandling in front of the 7/11 even with the no loitering signs hanging right there.  I turned off my headlights because like I just said, I'm a nice person so I'm trying to not blind the man.  the one guy passes the other guy the blunt and he proceeds to smoke, right there... YES RIGHT THERE!!!  IN FRONT OF THE 7/11 AND MORE IMPORTANTLY IN FRONT OF ME!!! So like when did it become ok to just smoke weed all out in the open?!?! In the not to distant past people tried to be discreet about their smokation.  Now it's like a regular cigarette.  I mean i guess it's ok?!?  It's legal for the most part, right??  I just kinda don't want to see it.  Back to rider 2... We get to his child car place and WHY does the baby have on flip flops on this rainy day?  Now as I'm thinking about it now kids can just be kids and that may have been what he wanted to wear.  I now have to go to the bathroom so in my head I'm like let me get this chick to her job and I can run to a fast food place.  We started at MLK and Franklin, now we are on Liberty Heights, and her job is WAAAAAAAY out in Owings Mills!!  I'm driving and the onliest thing on my mind is I HAVE TO PEE!! We get on 695 the 795... I still really REALLY have to pee. OMG can I make it?!?!  Yes girl you can (this is my internal dialog because it is getting SERIOUS!!). I make the turn onto Red Run and she asks me if I could stop at the Royal Farm which is past her job.  I inhale... think for a second if I should hop out with her.  Wait do they even have a public bathroom here cause if I get out and they say no, I am going to have a PROBLEM!! Finally drop her off!!  And the only reason I didn't follow her into her job is the whole badge thing.  So i'm fussing at myself WELL SHIT I shoulda went to the RoFo!! Can I make it to the Wendy's?!?!  Is Wendy's Even open?!?!  Maybe I can go to my cousin's house?  Aww hell no!! I only have 1 of 2 keys needed and they might not be home.  THE HOTELS!!  Yes I can stop at the Hampton Inn and LORD PLEASE don't let it be a 'you need a key' situation because i don't feel like arguing with the front desk peoples!!!  I stop right at the front like I'm checking in and park. There is no time to be finding a parking space!!  No one was at the front desk THANK YOU LBJ!!  Head to the ladies room that did NOT require a key and WHEW!!!! Left feeling like a million bucks!!  As I'm leaving, still no one at the front desk I say to myself CHICK fix you a cuppa coffee because #free!!  I stopped short of taking the lil bags they have with the breakfast in them for folks in a rush.  Coffee is GOOD!!! ok where to next.  Actually she took up so much time and energy I forget rides #3 and #4.  At one point I come home, cook, eat, take a nap and then go back out.  One spot that has been working really well is the bus station which is right next to the Horse Shoe Casino.  I pick up a young lady from the casino and she lives 5 minutes away in south Baltimore.  OK so **big ass disclaimer** (LOL) I have been in Baltimore for over 20 years.  I have made a nice life for myself even though I will never claim to be from Baltimore, I still love this city! Clearly I do.  I have been complaining about driving in East Baltimore for the sheer fact that it's EAST and away from my house.  I can get found over East.  the streets mirror the West.  So if I'm on East Lombard, I can figure out how to get to West Lombard.  BUT BABAY!!! When I tell you I got myself GOOT and lost in South Baltimore!!!  Believe it!!  So what I should have done is followed my tracks to dropping off the casino chick and I would have been fine.  But NO I knew there was a Long John Silver(man) near and I wanted some fish.  But then I couldn't figure out how to get back on the beltway. For whatever reason there are several union buildings... like Electricians union and Boilermaker union and i think painters union in that area.  I was in one of their parking lots, ate and decided to make a right and then a I made a left drove a little nooo wait i think the beltway is the other way so let me try that way.  Well I get pinged for a ride.  OK well maybe this person will get me out of this area.  NOPE she just went to the Brooklyn area which is STILL SOUTH Baltimore and then said this is the place you see on the news.  UMM not helpful ma'am!!  I get back on Pataspco and then make a right JESUS!!! the beltway in under me HOW do I get there!?!?!  This is like in Pittsburgh when you take the wrong exit and end up on the Westside, OR Southside OR God forbid the NORTH SIDE (nothings wrong with the northside so CALM down Pittsburghers!!)  See this is the OPPOSITE for me in Pittsburgh, I'm from the East Side... Homewood, Point Breeze, Penn Hills so getting stuck ANYWHERE else makes me fret. I now see the TOLL ONLY/CASH ONLY exit for 895 and I honestly have never taken this road so I have no idea where I will end up, also I don't have a toll thingy nor do I have cash so I'm SOL.  WHERE IS 695, or 95 OR 295??!?!? Finally I'm driving and I see a sign the says SOUTH about the size of my phone so of course I pass it.  I do some ridiculous U turn and get on the SOUTH not really sure where it is going to take me.  It turns out to be SOUTH 295 away from city but I'm tired, and you know I have to pee again so I just stay on it and take my booty HOME!! This also reminded me of the movie Quick Change with Bill Murray, Randy Quaid, and Gina Davis.  They rob a bank and basically try to get out of the city and just get lost.  The construction dudes were taking down the signs and there were other construction dudes to put up signs the next day. This was ME!! I am still traumatized!!! 

I feel like Carrie and Craig in no particular order... Carrie got broke up with via a post it and Craig got fired on his day off.  ME oh I just get let go via text LOL It's funny now... but not really cause my hustle game is tight and I need to work ALL of my other 50eleven jobs.  But you know me.. when life hands me lemons, I go on vacation!!! So I'm off to Cuba because I can!! I'm sure I will have many adventures there!

I don't want to put my sister on complete blast (even though I kinda am LOL) but you remember stalker dude who is the reason why I stopped going to the Weis market for a good while... well ummm let's just say she met him too... and uuhh... it ended quickly for her as well because dude is a total jerk. And yeah it's a small world after all!!!  LOL

Oh my my, Oh my... SHE FLY!!

I need to just dump today!  So much on mu mind good, stuff, bad stuff, stuff I can change, and shit I can't.


DRIVING
Last week I pick up a little boy and take him near Edmonson Village. He was in the back listening to music and I guess just checking texts or whatever on the phone.  Then I hear snoring!!  My dude was tired which I so understand because I can get that tired myself. So as we get close to the address I am asking for confirmation and he is just knocked out!  I picked him up at Wendy's and I know those fast food places can really work you.  He is going to the Dollar General and I was prying he wasn't going to work more, but he was meeting his wife and then I had to get a better look at him.  He was young but I guess 20 year olds can have wives.  So anyway that was it.  I pick another little boy and this fool says something about people being older in there 40's and I'm like WAIT I'M OLDER CUASE IM IN MY 40's?!?!?  And then the convo turned to sex... UH what I won't do is discuss sex with YOU baby!! OH is that right you had someone who was 47!??!  That's nice.. Where do you work?  OH really she thought you were really good for a young dude.  (in my mind probably not but whatever you say!!) SO... you been working there How long?!?! OH yeah... blah blah blah... And then I turn around and get a real good look at him.  And I'm like YOU ARE WAY TO YOUNG AND UNCUTE FOR ME LIL BOY!!!  Have a nice day!! **LONG SIGH**


WORK
I have 50eleven jobs we all know that, but the main 9-5 is a place that has some of the nicest people.  I mean EVERYONE speaks which is such a departure from other places.  I can say HELLO and look directly at them in the face and they look beyond me to speak to the person they know... This is at the other place.  Here folks will wave you down to make sure you know they were speaking to you which is kinda nice.  But there is this one woman who looks like a monchichi... They were those little monkey like toys back in the day (the 80's oh what a wonderful time to grow up!!).  I think it's her little forehead that makes me think this.  And then there is the woman who let me know she didn't vote.  NOW what you won't do is constantly complain.  I would have had more respect for her if she said she vote for the orange turd.  But I take my civic responsibility VERY seriously and I have no time for her and people like her!! There are high cube walls here and it's very petty how some of the offices are arranged.  Like I am right by the window by I still have to get up and look around to dee outside.  But I'm really not complaining.  My short ass attention span I would truly be watching the birds and squirrels and people coming and going AND EVERYTHING ELSE!!!.  OK someone has chick-fil-A and now that's what I want... but I know that line is hella long.  ALSO I have to keep reminding myself that today is Thursday because it feels like a Friday and I'm inclined to not come in tomorrow LOL and I need my lil coins!!  I
 am gonna head to RoFo... I need some chicken now!!


TV
American Gods - I'm glad I gave it a chance and even GLADDER I found a dude on the YouTube (Mike B) who breaks down every episode cause a chick be lost as hell!! And people in the comments add good stuff to also.  I was like OH old gods and new gods!!And then Orlando Jones... well no all of the cast is really good!! If you like sci-fi and/or fantasy and/or mythology AND religions then this is the show for you.
Downward Dog -any show based in Pittsburgh or Baltimore I am gonna watch!!  This one is based in Pittsburgh and the dog talks like he is really going throw a lot with the relationship between him and his human.  It is a cute show.  I hope it lasts
Sneaky Pete- This is on Amazon. When this fool decided to go to grandma and grandpa's house and say HEY IT'S ME PETE!!  I just about lost it I laughed so hard.  His name is Marius but has assumed the identity of his old cellmate Pete so he wouldn't get killed.  I should already be done but I am not a good binger LOL


FOOD
I am so annoyed right now.  I go to ROFO in the hopes of getting fried chicken wrap.  WHY is this so hard?  Either I order a grilled chicken wrap and tell you I want fried or order the fried chicken sub and tell you I want a wrap.  NOT ROCKET SCIENCE RIGHT?!?! Oh you would be wrong!!  So the little guy standing there is like no well we don't have that, BUT can you just make it anyway sir? Tell me how you want me to order it and I will.  So after a few minutes he says well just order the chicken sub and I'll make it a wrap.  COOL!! I do.. well the picture of the sub has lettuce and tomato so WHY would I think I needed to add that to my order? I get in the car take a bite NO TOMATO OR LETTUCE!!!  Now do I be petty... WELL YES LET'S BE PETTY.  I march in and ask for lettuce and tomato because you forgot to put it on my wrap.  Well it don't come like that.  BUT the picture has it so why would I think different? Well I can just remake it. NO I already took a bit just give me the lettuce and tomato.  So you just want the lettuce and tomato!??! YES JUST HAND ME SOME LETTUCE AND TOMATO BEFORE YOU START MAKING THE NEXT SANDWHICH!!!  LOL actually though it is pretty good now!! I know I startled him, but oh well!!
I went to the grocery store and actually had food every day last week.  This week I didn't do so well.  I did well with breakfast which was a breakfast quesadilla, but not lunch.  I'll strive to do better next week!!
While we're on the subject of lunch.  I am not an eat-at-my-desk kinda chick.  I think I do more now because I want to leave but for the most part I take a 20-30 minute break and eat somewhere other than my desk.  The woman that sits next to me eats at her desk everyday.  Now this wouldn't be a problem if she didn't crack open a can of tuna at least 2-3 times a week.  I have never been a tuna chick.  It smells bad and the flavor of canned tuna never sat well with me.  I will eat it, but it's not my favorite.  This fool opens a can eat a few bites, covers it with a paper towel and then proceeds to go to a meeting.  WAIT WTF just happened.  You crack the tuna seal let the stink permeate the air and then leave?!?!? No ma'am NO MA'AM!!  So when she gets back I says to her...uhhh... do you have some Tupperware? Then she says OH was it smelly?!?!  YES IT WAS  But I covered it... IT WAS TUNA, IT STILL STANK!!! Oh sorry.. YEAH DON'T DO THAT SHIT NO MORE (I didn't say that but I wanted to LOL).  She got the picture cause she hasn't brought it in no more this week

listening to a dumbass convo...

I don't know why it stuns me that little girls smoke weed.  Last night I drove 3 little girls who were suburban hood chicks.  They lived in Randallstown but they hang out  in the Village which is where I picked them up.  Well really what had happened is whatever dude they were hanging with drove them to the spot I was waiting.  Now me being me said... Why couldn't he have just drove you home?!?!  But after the exchange they had with him which at first I thought was innocent but turned into a fuck you battle (LOL) I knew why! Their mouths were terrible everything was fuck, bitch and nigga!  As a kid (well hell even now) I may have a potty mouth away from people.  Like in the car by myself you are a everything under the sun if you cut me off, but I don't speak like a sailor except well ON HERE and with my friends.  It's just not lady like and we all know I'm a fucking lady!! The last thing the 1 lil girl said to the guy was you better roll 5 fucking blunts for me when I get back.  I'm sitting there like REALLY!?!?!  And they all smelled like weed.  The conversation went from kids which I think only 2 of the 3 had kids and how some chick was ugly and her baby father was ugly so she might as well have got rid of the baby because they both ugly, to how the one was gonna wait until her boyfriend got out (of jail) before she even get pregnant (because that makes sense!) and OMG I want bad ass boys cause dats REAL cute ( wait WHAT!?!?) and someone finessed some dude (still not sure what that meant unless they just meant flirt? or chile I don't know) and then how some other dude was BROKE so why would they wanna have a baby with him and he ugly OH and fat bitches is nasty cause that's what my mother said and then at one point the 1 lil girl said cause he go to my church!  I know Jesus accepts us all even lil girls who have potty mouths, but I almost wrecked when she said that!!! So they needed to go to Petco, get weed, and pick up one of the lil girls babies, but not necessarily in that order.  I dropped them off and rolled ALL the windows down to air out my lil car.  I then spray and WHY did I do that cause the next lil girl who got in AGAIN smelled like weed!!!  Maybe because I don't smoke and since I have no visions of political anything (not that that matters anymore?), I can admit that I did inhale, but that 1st time I threw up for a good 20 minutes (all the chocolate that me and the chicks from 509 were eating... it was like a chocolate egg or something?!?!)  and the next time I just didn't like it.  It's just not my thing, but I really don't knock those that do, but it seems to be really mainstream, like EVERYONE does it but me! People used to do it in private, but now drive anywhere or walk anywhere (which was the case a few weeks ago when a random white guy and random black woman sat on a bench and puff puff passed as I walked by) and you just see it!! Anyway this lil girl was I thought going downtown but I ended up over east which that is a whole nuther thing I try to avoid while doing my good Lyft driving.  Nothing is wrong with the east side of Baltimore, but I live WEST and going east means a whole new world!  Thankfully it was only a block from Northeast Market which is a few blocks up from Hopkins so I didn't get completely lost.  While we passed Hopkins she said I dream of going to Hopkins one day and I swelled with pride like this was my alma mater And I was like OH are you in high school? she said no I'm in college... well community college.  I said well the community college system is really good so that is great!  I am still trying to understand the difference between these 2 sets of young ladies.  The 1st 3 had no other expectation than to be with a guy (or several guys) who may or may not go to jail and have babies! I gathered they graduated from Randallstown but that was it.  There was no drive no fire to aspire to anything more.  The next lil girl at very least had a desire to complete her education which I think opens your eyes to want to do more.  I knew what was expected of me.  Now I'm not saying I didn't make mistake and still trying to refine my path, but I understood I needed to go to church, participate, go to school, LEARN, and go to college... graduate (oh and not cut my hair but that's another conversation for another day LOL).  And I did all of the above!! How to you expect your child to succeed if they have no idea what they are supposed to do next?  They aren't supposed to figure it out. YOU as a parent need to set parameters.  Now I have all this great advice and alls I got a cat... but tell me where is the lie? Maybe that doesn't work for all kids and some don't need as strict a path. I prayed for all of those young ladies because I felt a little sad for them not knowing there was more to the world. So yeah.. it is still weighing heavy on my mind.


I worked a prom last week which I wrote about.  So several of the people I work with do not have cars.  One night I worked with a guy who waited until the exact moment I was walking out of the door to ask for a ride. He lived right up the street from me, but I had had ENOUGH of him so I really didn't feel like extra company.  And I wonder what exactly he would have done if I said no. One of the servers said he takes the bus which takes about an hour and a 1/2 and I asked him if he ever took an Uber of Lyft and this fool said out of his gold buck toothed teeth that he don't like getting in peoples cars.  Wait... so you get on a nasty who know WHO been on a public bus and travel all the way from Essex, but you won't get in someone's car cause you don't know them or what ever the hell reason you have?!?! Now I understand doing rideshare can be cost prohibitive.  I get it you want to pay $3 (or however much the bus costs) versus $25.  I drew a blank and just stared at him like OH ok.. Well I'm not going that way soooo... GOOD LUCK!!  I was so dog tired after I left there I wasn't taking no one nowhere, even the one guy who is kinda nice but I can only understand every 5th word because English is not his strong suit.  I'm taking this weekend (and probably next week too) off cause I am just tired.  My body does not appreciate all that I'm putting her through and then I have the nerve to not feed her well.  SO yeah it's somewhat of a revolt right now.  I'm off and I know it.  I kinda know what I need to do to get back on track but it's not as clear as it was as back in 2013 when I just KNEW!  I'm just running around doing a whole lot of everything and nothing all at the same time. And then... **YAWN**


There are several home projects I need to do and I'm not sure why I thought I could just pay someone to do them all since I am in a financial uuuhhh..... I am financially modest right now!!!  Better than saying broke, right? I have a girlfriend who just mulched and laid pavers!!!  SO now I think I can do anything!! I need to sledge hammer the concrete in the back and put some pavers down myself.  I can do it, because WHY NOT?!?! If I had a (sledge) hammer!!  LOL I just bought masonry paint for the pillars in the front of my house.  Now I only bought 1 gallon but somehow I think it will be enough.  I just watched a you tube where the guy measured and I was like WHO DOES THAT?!?!  I aint got time to measure and calculate shit! I just BUY PAINT!!! I need some black paint for the metal surfaces I have and I need to hit up an Ace and nope I didn't measure but a gallon will do it!! My lil hood adjacent house might actually look a lil cute this year.