and that's when my sensitivity gets in the way!

This has been an interesting 2 weeks and on the cusp of my cycle my emotionality didn't help So where shall we start!?!? 

I wrote this last Friday...

Yesterday was absolutely blog worthy!  So Wed I went out and 'drove' for about an hour and got NOTHING.  So I wasted both my time and gas.  Then I get a ping from Lyft that said complete 8 rides between 6-10 on Thursday and Friday and you get a bonus.  BET!!  I'm all about the bonuses.  I set my clock and get my arse up. 1st ride she was just going to work and she was only a few minutes late (not my fault... just FYI).  2nd ride... We only have to give to person 5 minutes to come out and get in the car and then we can cancel. After 2 minutes the app nudges you to call the person.  The rider girl calls me and says she'll be down in 2 minutes.  OK no problem.  3 minutes pass and she calls back and says I'm so sorry I'm coming down the stairs, my son has autism.  What you won't do is blame the baby. Well I can't freaking leave now because the child has to get to his child care place. She steps out of the house platinum blond with THE EYELASHES!  Oh you know the ones where it looks like 2 caterpillars crawled on their face to live out their lives!!  The little boy gets in and is playing Dory on his lil ipad.  But I already know he has special needs so when it plays the same line 20 times in a row I just take it because, right now this aint about me and this comforts him.  We then need to stop at the 7/11 for her to get cream for her coffee and she leaves the lil boy in the car with me.  I guess I look like a nice person.  I mean I AM... but I'm not sure if I would have done that with a complete stranger.  She comes out finally gives him his green soda which is what he asked for. I need to pause right here... SO there are 2 dudes panhandling in front of the 7/11 even with the no loitering signs hanging right there.  I turned off my headlights because like I just said, I'm a nice person so I'm trying to not blind the man.  the one guy passes the other guy the blunt and he proceeds to smoke, right there... YES RIGHT THERE!!!  IN FRONT OF THE 7/11 AND MORE IMPORTANTLY IN FRONT OF ME!!! So like when did it become ok to just smoke weed all out in the open?!?! In the not to distant past people tried to be discreet about their smokation.  Now it's like a regular cigarette.  I mean i guess it's ok?!?  It's legal for the most part, right??  I just kinda don't want to see it.  Back to rider 2... We get to his child car place and WHY does the baby have on flip flops on this rainy day?  Now as I'm thinking about it now kids can just be kids and that may have been what he wanted to wear.  I now have to go to the bathroom so in my head I'm like let me get this chick to her job and I can run to a fast food place.  We started at MLK and Franklin, now we are on Liberty Heights, and her job is WAAAAAAAY out in Owings Mills!!  I'm driving and the onliest thing on my mind is I HAVE TO PEE!! We get on 695 the 795... I still really REALLY have to pee. OMG can I make it?!?!  Yes girl you can (this is my internal dialog because it is getting SERIOUS!!). I make the turn onto Red Run and she asks me if I could stop at the Royal Farm which is past her job.  I inhale... think for a second if I should hop out with her.  Wait do they even have a public bathroom here cause if I get out and they say no, I am going to have a PROBLEM!! Finally drop her off!!  And the only reason I didn't follow her into her job is the whole badge thing.  So i'm fussing at myself WELL SHIT I shoulda went to the RoFo!! Can I make it to the Wendy's?!?!  Is Wendy's Even open?!?!  Maybe I can go to my cousin's house?  Aww hell no!! I only have 1 of 2 keys needed and they might not be home.  THE HOTELS!!  Yes I can stop at the Hampton Inn and LORD PLEASE don't let it be a 'you need a key' situation because i don't feel like arguing with the front desk peoples!!!  I stop right at the front like I'm checking in and park. There is no time to be finding a parking space!!  No one was at the front desk THANK YOU LBJ!!  Head to the ladies room that did NOT require a key and WHEW!!!! Left feeling like a million bucks!!  As I'm leaving, still no one at the front desk I say to myself CHICK fix you a cuppa coffee because #free!!  I stopped short of taking the lil bags they have with the breakfast in them for folks in a rush.  Coffee is GOOD!!! ok where to next.  Actually she took up so much time and energy I forget rides #3 and #4.  At one point I come home, cook, eat, take a nap and then go back out.  One spot that has been working really well is the bus station which is right next to the Horse Shoe Casino.  I pick up a young lady from the casino and she lives 5 minutes away in south Baltimore.  OK so **big ass disclaimer** (LOL) I have been in Baltimore for over 20 years.  I have made a nice life for myself even though I will never claim to be from Baltimore, I still love this city! Clearly I do.  I have been complaining about driving in East Baltimore for the sheer fact that it's EAST and away from my house.  I can get found over East.  the streets mirror the West.  So if I'm on East Lombard, I can figure out how to get to West Lombard.  BUT BABAY!!! When I tell you I got myself GOOT and lost in South Baltimore!!!  Believe it!!  So what I should have done is followed my tracks to dropping off the casino chick and I would have been fine.  But NO I knew there was a Long John Silver(man) near and I wanted some fish.  But then I couldn't figure out how to get back on the beltway. For whatever reason there are several union buildings... like Electricians union and Boilermaker union and i think painters union in that area.  I was in one of their parking lots, ate and decided to make a right and then a I made a left drove a little nooo wait i think the beltway is the other way so let me try that way.  Well I get pinged for a ride.  OK well maybe this person will get me out of this area.  NOPE she just went to the Brooklyn area which is STILL SOUTH Baltimore and then said this is the place you see on the news.  UMM not helpful ma'am!!  I get back on Pataspco and then make a right JESUS!!! the beltway in under me HOW do I get there!?!?!  This is like in Pittsburgh when you take the wrong exit and end up on the Westside, OR Southside OR God forbid the NORTH SIDE (nothings wrong with the northside so CALM down Pittsburghers!!)  See this is the OPPOSITE for me in Pittsburgh, I'm from the East Side... Homewood, Point Breeze, Penn Hills so getting stuck ANYWHERE else makes me fret. I now see the TOLL ONLY/CASH ONLY exit for 895 and I honestly have never taken this road so I have no idea where I will end up, also I don't have a toll thingy nor do I have cash so I'm SOL.  WHERE IS 695, or 95 OR 295??!?!? Finally I'm driving and I see a sign the says SOUTH about the size of my phone so of course I pass it.  I do some ridiculous U turn and get on the SOUTH not really sure where it is going to take me.  It turns out to be SOUTH 295 away from city but I'm tired, and you know I have to pee again so I just stay on it and take my booty HOME!! This also reminded me of the movie Quick Change with Bill Murray, Randy Quaid, and Gina Davis.  They rob a bank and basically try to get out of the city and just get lost.  The construction dudes were taking down the signs and there were other construction dudes to put up signs the next day. This was ME!! I am still traumatized!!! 

I feel like Carrie and Craig in no particular order... Carrie got broke up with via a post it and Craig got fired on his day off.  ME oh I just get let go via text LOL It's funny now... but not really cause my hustle game is tight and I need to work ALL of my other 50eleven jobs.  But you know me.. when life hands me lemons, I go on vacation!!! So I'm off to Cuba because I can!! I'm sure I will have many adventures there!

I don't want to put my sister on complete blast (even though I kinda am LOL) but you remember stalker dude who is the reason why I stopped going to the Weis market for a good while... well ummm let's just say she met him too... and uuhh... it ended quickly for her as well because dude is a total jerk. And yeah it's a small world after all!!!  LOL

Oh my my, Oh my... SHE FLY!!

I need to just dump today!  So much on mu mind good, stuff, bad stuff, stuff I can change, and shit I can't.


DRIVING
Last week I pick up a little boy and take him near Edmonson Village. He was in the back listening to music and I guess just checking texts or whatever on the phone.  Then I hear snoring!!  My dude was tired which I so understand because I can get that tired myself. So as we get close to the address I am asking for confirmation and he is just knocked out!  I picked him up at Wendy's and I know those fast food places can really work you.  He is going to the Dollar General and I was prying he wasn't going to work more, but he was meeting his wife and then I had to get a better look at him.  He was young but I guess 20 year olds can have wives.  So anyway that was it.  I pick another little boy and this fool says something about people being older in there 40's and I'm like WAIT I'M OLDER CUASE IM IN MY 40's?!?!?  And then the convo turned to sex... UH what I won't do is discuss sex with YOU baby!! OH is that right you had someone who was 47!??!  That's nice.. Where do you work?  OH really she thought you were really good for a young dude.  (in my mind probably not but whatever you say!!) SO... you been working there How long?!?! OH yeah... blah blah blah... And then I turn around and get a real good look at him.  And I'm like YOU ARE WAY TO YOUNG AND UNCUTE FOR ME LIL BOY!!!  Have a nice day!! **LONG SIGH**


WORK
I have 50eleven jobs we all know that, but the main 9-5 is a place that has some of the nicest people.  I mean EVERYONE speaks which is such a departure from other places.  I can say HELLO and look directly at them in the face and they look beyond me to speak to the person they know... This is at the other place.  Here folks will wave you down to make sure you know they were speaking to you which is kinda nice.  But there is this one woman who looks like a monchichi... They were those little monkey like toys back in the day (the 80's oh what a wonderful time to grow up!!).  I think it's her little forehead that makes me think this.  And then there is the woman who let me know she didn't vote.  NOW what you won't do is constantly complain.  I would have had more respect for her if she said she vote for the orange turd.  But I take my civic responsibility VERY seriously and I have no time for her and people like her!! There are high cube walls here and it's very petty how some of the offices are arranged.  Like I am right by the window by I still have to get up and look around to dee outside.  But I'm really not complaining.  My short ass attention span I would truly be watching the birds and squirrels and people coming and going AND EVERYTHING ELSE!!!.  OK someone has chick-fil-A and now that's what I want... but I know that line is hella long.  ALSO I have to keep reminding myself that today is Thursday because it feels like a Friday and I'm inclined to not come in tomorrow LOL and I need my lil coins!!  I
 am gonna head to RoFo... I need some chicken now!!


TV
American Gods - I'm glad I gave it a chance and even GLADDER I found a dude on the YouTube (Mike B) who breaks down every episode cause a chick be lost as hell!! And people in the comments add good stuff to also.  I was like OH old gods and new gods!!And then Orlando Jones... well no all of the cast is really good!! If you like sci-fi and/or fantasy and/or mythology AND religions then this is the show for you.
Downward Dog -any show based in Pittsburgh or Baltimore I am gonna watch!!  This one is based in Pittsburgh and the dog talks like he is really going throw a lot with the relationship between him and his human.  It is a cute show.  I hope it lasts
Sneaky Pete- This is on Amazon. When this fool decided to go to grandma and grandpa's house and say HEY IT'S ME PETE!!  I just about lost it I laughed so hard.  His name is Marius but has assumed the identity of his old cellmate Pete so he wouldn't get killed.  I should already be done but I am not a good binger LOL


FOOD
I am so annoyed right now.  I go to ROFO in the hopes of getting fried chicken wrap.  WHY is this so hard?  Either I order a grilled chicken wrap and tell you I want fried or order the fried chicken sub and tell you I want a wrap.  NOT ROCKET SCIENCE RIGHT?!?! Oh you would be wrong!!  So the little guy standing there is like no well we don't have that, BUT can you just make it anyway sir? Tell me how you want me to order it and I will.  So after a few minutes he says well just order the chicken sub and I'll make it a wrap.  COOL!! I do.. well the picture of the sub has lettuce and tomato so WHY would I think I needed to add that to my order? I get in the car take a bite NO TOMATO OR LETTUCE!!!  Now do I be petty... WELL YES LET'S BE PETTY.  I march in and ask for lettuce and tomato because you forgot to put it on my wrap.  Well it don't come like that.  BUT the picture has it so why would I think different? Well I can just remake it. NO I already took a bit just give me the lettuce and tomato.  So you just want the lettuce and tomato!??! YES JUST HAND ME SOME LETTUCE AND TOMATO BEFORE YOU START MAKING THE NEXT SANDWHICH!!!  LOL actually though it is pretty good now!! I know I startled him, but oh well!!
I went to the grocery store and actually had food every day last week.  This week I didn't do so well.  I did well with breakfast which was a breakfast quesadilla, but not lunch.  I'll strive to do better next week!!
While we're on the subject of lunch.  I am not an eat-at-my-desk kinda chick.  I think I do more now because I want to leave but for the most part I take a 20-30 minute break and eat somewhere other than my desk.  The woman that sits next to me eats at her desk everyday.  Now this wouldn't be a problem if she didn't crack open a can of tuna at least 2-3 times a week.  I have never been a tuna chick.  It smells bad and the flavor of canned tuna never sat well with me.  I will eat it, but it's not my favorite.  This fool opens a can eat a few bites, covers it with a paper towel and then proceeds to go to a meeting.  WAIT WTF just happened.  You crack the tuna seal let the stink permeate the air and then leave?!?!? No ma'am NO MA'AM!!  So when she gets back I says to her...uhhh... do you have some Tupperware? Then she says OH was it smelly?!?!  YES IT WAS  But I covered it... IT WAS TUNA, IT STILL STANK!!! Oh sorry.. YEAH DON'T DO THAT SHIT NO MORE (I didn't say that but I wanted to LOL).  She got the picture cause she hasn't brought it in no more this week

listening to a dumbass convo...

I don't know why it stuns me that little girls smoke weed.  Last night I drove 3 little girls who were suburban hood chicks.  They lived in Randallstown but they hang out  in the Village which is where I picked them up.  Well really what had happened is whatever dude they were hanging with drove them to the spot I was waiting.  Now me being me said... Why couldn't he have just drove you home?!?!  But after the exchange they had with him which at first I thought was innocent but turned into a fuck you battle (LOL) I knew why! Their mouths were terrible everything was fuck, bitch and nigga!  As a kid (well hell even now) I may have a potty mouth away from people.  Like in the car by myself you are a everything under the sun if you cut me off, but I don't speak like a sailor except well ON HERE and with my friends.  It's just not lady like and we all know I'm a fucking lady!! The last thing the 1 lil girl said to the guy was you better roll 5 fucking blunts for me when I get back.  I'm sitting there like REALLY!?!?!  And they all smelled like weed.  The conversation went from kids which I think only 2 of the 3 had kids and how some chick was ugly and her baby father was ugly so she might as well have got rid of the baby because they both ugly, to how the one was gonna wait until her boyfriend got out (of jail) before she even get pregnant (because that makes sense!) and OMG I want bad ass boys cause dats REAL cute ( wait WHAT!?!?) and someone finessed some dude (still not sure what that meant unless they just meant flirt? or chile I don't know) and then how some other dude was BROKE so why would they wanna have a baby with him and he ugly OH and fat bitches is nasty cause that's what my mother said and then at one point the 1 lil girl said cause he go to my church!  I know Jesus accepts us all even lil girls who have potty mouths, but I almost wrecked when she said that!!! So they needed to go to Petco, get weed, and pick up one of the lil girls babies, but not necessarily in that order.  I dropped them off and rolled ALL the windows down to air out my lil car.  I then spray and WHY did I do that cause the next lil girl who got in AGAIN smelled like weed!!!  Maybe because I don't smoke and since I have no visions of political anything (not that that matters anymore?), I can admit that I did inhale, but that 1st time I threw up for a good 20 minutes (all the chocolate that me and the chicks from 509 were eating... it was like a chocolate egg or something?!?!)  and the next time I just didn't like it.  It's just not my thing, but I really don't knock those that do, but it seems to be really mainstream, like EVERYONE does it but me! People used to do it in private, but now drive anywhere or walk anywhere (which was the case a few weeks ago when a random white guy and random black woman sat on a bench and puff puff passed as I walked by) and you just see it!! Anyway this lil girl was I thought going downtown but I ended up over east which that is a whole nuther thing I try to avoid while doing my good Lyft driving.  Nothing is wrong with the east side of Baltimore, but I live WEST and going east means a whole new world!  Thankfully it was only a block from Northeast Market which is a few blocks up from Hopkins so I didn't get completely lost.  While we passed Hopkins she said I dream of going to Hopkins one day and I swelled with pride like this was my alma mater And I was like OH are you in high school? she said no I'm in college... well community college.  I said well the community college system is really good so that is great!  I am still trying to understand the difference between these 2 sets of young ladies.  The 1st 3 had no other expectation than to be with a guy (or several guys) who may or may not go to jail and have babies! I gathered they graduated from Randallstown but that was it.  There was no drive no fire to aspire to anything more.  The next lil girl at very least had a desire to complete her education which I think opens your eyes to want to do more.  I knew what was expected of me.  Now I'm not saying I didn't make mistake and still trying to refine my path, but I understood I needed to go to church, participate, go to school, LEARN, and go to college... graduate (oh and not cut my hair but that's another conversation for another day LOL).  And I did all of the above!! How to you expect your child to succeed if they have no idea what they are supposed to do next?  They aren't supposed to figure it out. YOU as a parent need to set parameters.  Now I have all this great advice and alls I got a cat... but tell me where is the lie? Maybe that doesn't work for all kids and some don't need as strict a path. I prayed for all of those young ladies because I felt a little sad for them not knowing there was more to the world. So yeah.. it is still weighing heavy on my mind.


I worked a prom last week which I wrote about.  So several of the people I work with do not have cars.  One night I worked with a guy who waited until the exact moment I was walking out of the door to ask for a ride. He lived right up the street from me, but I had had ENOUGH of him so I really didn't feel like extra company.  And I wonder what exactly he would have done if I said no. One of the servers said he takes the bus which takes about an hour and a 1/2 and I asked him if he ever took an Uber of Lyft and this fool said out of his gold buck toothed teeth that he don't like getting in peoples cars.  Wait... so you get on a nasty who know WHO been on a public bus and travel all the way from Essex, but you won't get in someone's car cause you don't know them or what ever the hell reason you have?!?! Now I understand doing rideshare can be cost prohibitive.  I get it you want to pay $3 (or however much the bus costs) versus $25.  I drew a blank and just stared at him like OH ok.. Well I'm not going that way soooo... GOOD LUCK!!  I was so dog tired after I left there I wasn't taking no one nowhere, even the one guy who is kinda nice but I can only understand every 5th word because English is not his strong suit.  I'm taking this weekend (and probably next week too) off cause I am just tired.  My body does not appreciate all that I'm putting her through and then I have the nerve to not feed her well.  SO yeah it's somewhat of a revolt right now.  I'm off and I know it.  I kinda know what I need to do to get back on track but it's not as clear as it was as back in 2013 when I just KNEW!  I'm just running around doing a whole lot of everything and nothing all at the same time. And then... **YAWN**


There are several home projects I need to do and I'm not sure why I thought I could just pay someone to do them all since I am in a financial uuuhhh..... I am financially modest right now!!!  Better than saying broke, right? I have a girlfriend who just mulched and laid pavers!!!  SO now I think I can do anything!! I need to sledge hammer the concrete in the back and put some pavers down myself.  I can do it, because WHY NOT?!?! If I had a (sledge) hammer!!  LOL I just bought masonry paint for the pillars in the front of my house.  Now I only bought 1 gallon but somehow I think it will be enough.  I just watched a you tube where the guy measured and I was like WHO DOES THAT?!?!  I aint got time to measure and calculate shit! I just BUY PAINT!!! I need some black paint for the metal surfaces I have and I need to hit up an Ace and nope I didn't measure but a gallon will do it!! My lil hood adjacent house might actually look a lil cute this year. 

...what I'm posed to do now?

why are the FAQ never NEVER the questions I need answered?  Who are the people that come up with these questions?




Why do I have to 'talk' to the computer over the phone for a good 2-3 minutes before they will just go ahead and transfer me to a live person? 




why do cars speed up when they KNOW I need to get over into that lane?  I am friends with my turn signals so there is or should never be a question about what I'm doing.  But some people are just meanies.




I am convinced Lexus and Mercedes driver's either don't give a crap about their cars which makes NO sense since they spent SO much on it, OR they think they are exempt for accidents because they drive said cars. I get cut off more by these cars than others.  Last night the guy in a Lexus truck high beamed me because he wanted the right of way even though it made more sense for him to stop and let me go BUT he didn't and I stopped and he got by so maybe they are exempt!??


I'm not really doing as many outdoor activities as I would like.  This past weekend was also Capital Jazz but the line-up was just so/so.  I never really bothered to get tickets.  Last year I was a ticket arranging queen!!  I went Friday and Saturday.  This year I just didn't get anything together.  But 1 thing that has come back is Jazzy Summer Nights!  I love this because it has put me onto some artist that I still love like Anthony David, Deborah Bond, Sy Smith, EVEN Fertile Ground and Eric Roberson were featured artist back in the day!! And I'm glad I got to see Chuck Brown!!  His band and the energy of the go-go crowd is freaking amazing!  This past week was Jeff Bradshaw a trombone player out of Philly.  He has played with everyone!! I actually like his stuff but he tends to play other folks song but he keeps the crowd pumped.  Here's what had went wrong... SO I get there and peruse the scene and decide what I need to eat.  It is time for a lil chicken wing or something.  Island Quizine was set up, food ready and smelling good.  But they are right at the bottom of my street and I go there often enough and I wanted to try something new.  There were 3 or 4  other vendor and I chose 1.  Now I won't say their name because that's just not cool and they will eventually get it together but that night was not their night.  I get to the booth and see scrambling.  They are getting set up which doesn't annoy me, but it does raise somewhat of a flag because it is after 6 and they should be ready to go.  But I push on.  I see chicken wings ready and I decide to get fried fish because WHY would I get something I know is ready?!?!  (SMH) I have to get the little girls attention and basically beg her to take my money.  At this point my gut says CHICK go on over to Island Quizine because you know it's gonna be good and it's ready.  BUT NO I ignore my inner voice and order this food.  Once I place my order I expect for the guy at the fryer to throw some fish in the deep fryer, but nope, he adds more chicken.  I ask about how long it's going to be and she says I'll bring it to you.  I point out my pink chair and I'm like COOL!!  But then 15 minutes pass I look back and no one is coming my way.  A 1/2 hour passes and I know good and damn well fish don't take 30 minutes to fry so I go back to the booth.  The lil girl says OH I didn't forget about you and I'm like OK but when is the fish gonna be done?  At this point there is more scrambling and general chaos of a very unorganized nature. There are like 3 other people trying to fill orders.  After another 10 minutes and asking EVERYONE when the fish was gonna be done AND people getting food before me when I know that I ordered and way before them I got really frustrated and was like well just give me my money back!  That's didn't work.  WHEN IS THE FISH GONNA BE DONE?!?!? Ok you know what just give me the wings and sides.  I really think I'm making out better.  I am thoroughly pissed but I grab my food and sit my hongry (which is way beyond hungry) ass down.  Grab a wing, it's good!!  Thank God because well... ok take a bite of the mac N Cheese.  Hole up WHY is this shit sweet?  I have never in all my years had sweet mac N cheese.  It was not good AT ALL!  So let me taste these greens that look so goo... WHY ARE THESE SHITS COLD AND SWEET?!?!  How do you make greens sweet?  And why are they sweet? WHY Little Baby Jesus?!?!  WHY???  I inhale the wings I really do want to go back and throw the sides on them.  I wanted fish and fries but I got wings and horrible sides. But I'm good my stomach was full and I'm going to find them on the Facebook and send them a lil note.


I worked a prom this weekend and it was really rather boring!  Maybe because I was just serving soda and juice or maybe because the dj was WHACK!! I felt his doucheiness when he came to my bar and didn't look up from his phone.  DOOD you are not that busy or important, so I ignored him.  The kids were nice enough.  But it was just a long night with NO tips LOL.  The dresses though UGH... so this is the one maybe even the 1st opportunity to wear a beautiful gown. But these girls just wore dresses that they could wear any day mainly to the beach or to the club.  They just were not very prom-like. Now there were a few gowns but the mainly freakum dresses.  This guys well I mean there is not much you can do with a tux.  There was 1 guy with white shoes with gold tips and a guy with a purple plaid jacket and they both looked like the NFL draft (I was gonna say clowns.. but they kids so I'll give them a pass) dudes. They had glow stick and flashy rings that I felt the need to put in my bag.  I have hoarding tendencies so YES they will go in the garbage soon but I needed them!  They also had a casino theme, so they got fake money and chips and I guess they had fun.  The people who ran the casino were the Dundalkiest people I have seen in a while and they all seemed a lil high.  And then management. **LOUD SIGH** I usually have a great disdain for managers, there is always 1 or 2 that are cool, but 90% of the time they are just assholes.  And this place is no different.  The 1 manager talks around me never asking me directly to do anything he'll say miss or ma'am, have Gus tell you where to find the candles or Gus go find the bowls for the mixed nuts and I'm standing right there... it's just frustrating and passive aggressive.  I worked with 1 of the newer bartenders who was extra for no good reason and toward the end of the night got very annoying and a bit racist. The company I work for is 95% Hispanic, so he would add O on the end of words thinking it was funny but it wasn't. And then they made me move tables and set tables and honestly, that aint in my job description.  My way of getting back at them is to take a big bottle of sprite! LOL

and that's all I have to say about that!

I really do like weddings!  They are festive occasions and happy and people for the most part have fun.  This is one of the things I love doing as a bartender.  So last night was a wedding and the couple were cute. She had on a beautiful dress and he looked great as well.  The thing about this wedding is it was a BLACK wedding.  I have done enough to know there are some differences.  I have done Indian weddings, white weddings, Jewish weddings, interracial weddings, even Filipino weddings and each have their own set of STUFF!!  But last night one of my fellow coworkers was like OH Lord it is one of our weddings so I hope they are ok.  I was like WELL it's a wedding so it should be fine.  Black folks can be extra for no damn reason and I can check them because game recognize game!!  Everything was beautiful.  The florist had these purple roses, white hydrangea and peonies.  The planning staff flitted about... wait WHY you got on heels ma'am and you know you have to walk around here making sure shit is right.  And not only were the heels they were sandal heels so they could not have been comfortable.  I worked with one of my bartending buddies who is just too cool for school (and whose name I thought was Carlos LOL) and then there was Marvin.. or wait Melvin?  He said it several times but you know how you just look at someone and just refuse to bother?  That was me with him.  I'm a temp and trust me I know my lane when it comes to working with the 'staff'.  I said I had worked at the venue before and then he proceeded to mumble something about how he had to work with temps.  At one point I was like WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION?  He kept mumbling something about nothing and then I just walked away because I didn't have time!! I prefer working by myself and I took the bar to the far left so I could do my thing.  Let me just mention that behind the scenes is ALWAYS organized confusion.  A symphony of cluster fuckness that somehow manages to look effortless to the guests.  I'm sure I piss people off but the bottom line is IT'S JUST A WEDDING!!!  We have all done this before and it will be great so stop being flustered over nothing!!  Last week the other bartender who I really can not stand was having a fit over these lamps the manager told her to be careful near.  If they break, guess what THEY will buy more!!! SO say one more thing about them and my fist is going straight down your throat... I digress... We talking about this week LOL SO anyway, the attire must have said formal because my people looked GOOD!!  Then there was this one guy in just a t-shirt kinda thing and I knew he knew he looked out of place.  But he was buff so my thought process for him was he wasn't buying no damn shirt for this woman he don't even know. In my mind his wife knew the bride. They started with cabernet and chardonnay BUT immediately I got folks coming to my bar wanting moscato.  You know I cringed, but they slurped up the white zinfandel (more cringeation).  The 1 woman drank at least 2 bottle but she claimed she didn't drink that much.. OH mmmkay!!  Then there's the damn signature cocktail.  I once thought long ago that a signature cocktail was cute but it's not, it's BULLSHIT!! First off it's never a good drink.  Last night was Johnny Walker Red, lemon juice, ginger simple syrup and club soda.  Does that even sound remotely good?!?!  NO!! I'll answer for you NO IT DOES NOT!!  I don't normally drink dark so when I made it to try it, it was gross.  Folks did like it but I detracted many by asking if they normally drank Johnny Walker. Most said no... so then I made them a vodka or rum drink.   Then the tips... I didn't do bad but I did make change for folks a few times.  I don't know why but for women I don't mind like OH ok.. yeah sure, change. But for men I'm like if you don't put that fucking $5 in my lil bowl and walk away!?!?!!  And then there are those who want the world.  You gave me a buck 2 hours ago and now I have to tap dance every time you come to my bar?  AND honestly tips are nice to haves not mandatory so I treat everyone the same (or at least I try to).   This guy said OH MY too much ice!!  Sir the diet coke is warm.  Yes but she don't like a lot of ice.  SHE'LL be ok... get away from me!! And then the chick who was about to get loud cause her fruity drink had too much juice. Ma'am whet?!?!? Ok more peach schnapps? Sure!  And then the woman who probably was the same woman who sent her husband saying it was tooo much ice, You'll be fine! This was close to the end of the night so my level of giving any amounts of anything was gone.  Then there were the groomsman who I think were checking me out?  So the bar next to your table is empty, I have a line but you still came alla way over to me?!?!  And the one who just need a splash of ginger ale?  And then the one who was actually a cutie but had a ring on but still got up to catch the garter? Yes a chick was being checked out!! I'm not sure if it's the smile or the boobs!!  The dj was good!  I sang and danced to most of the songs.  This lil boy... well you know everybody is a lil boy or girl... come up and say he's playing to much 'old school'.  I wanna say Poison was playing and I size him up and say well how old are you? This fool says guess!! Immediately I'm like well you're a baby buy I say twentysomething but maybe 30...I say 30!  HE says all excited yeah I'm 30.  Ok 30 so too old to really like the ratchet stuff (even though you do) but not old enough to recognize 'GOOD' music!! LOL And then there is the woman who fell.  It would be funny if I saw a video but standing right there... NO that shit was still funny but I couldn't laugh!! And she was ok so calm down if you think I'm a horrible person.  That was about it for last night!

12/2013 old I forgot it was a draft LOL

The HR at my office just sent out a notice that the smoking areas have been moved even further away from where they used to be.  It’s funny because when I watch old movies or TV shows, the folks just light up right at their desk.  This whole no smoking thing has really been within my lifetime.  I can remember being in line at McDonald’s as a kid and not wanting to stand behind people who were smoking.  And even on airplanes, I hated sitting near the smoking section.  It always smelled BAD to me.  When I see these old shows the people don’t seem to be phased.  But no really doesn’t it smell BAD to you too?!? I grew up in a smoking household.  Both of my parents smoked and I freaking HATED IT!!  My mom would smoke while she ironed clothes, so you guessed it my clothes smelled like smoke.  I asked her one time to maybe NOT smoke while she ironed my clothes.  I think she got a little offended, but as an 8 or 9 year old who wants to smell like you been sitting inside an ashtray??  My father never quit, but my mom did 25 years ago.  Now in her dementiaed state, she says she quit when she was pregnant with me.  I quickly remind her that she quit when my first nephew was born.  As I’m writing I realize how much it pisses me off that she can’t even remember doing it for me, she did it for my nephew.  There are commercials about different prescriptions to help people quit and this is when she incorrectly reflects.  For the most part I try to be a little gentler about correcting her memory but every time she says she quit when she was pregnant with me I want to yell at her and say NO YOU DIDN’T!!!  AND WHEN I ASKED YOU TOO QUIT AS A KID YOU NEVER DID!!! And then I want to add that I wanted to smell like Bounty fabric softner like the other kids, not a fucking ashtray!  But, that is the past, and thankfully she did quit.  I’m sure I asked my father to quit also.  Driving in the car with him was a nightmare.  The windows were yellow because in addition to him NOT rolling down the windows when he smoked, he never cleaned them.  It was pretty gross.  Now you can’t smoke pretty much anywhere and this is so good for me!  I waited for the clean air bill to pass in Maryland before I went to Bartending School.   I couldn’t imagine serving drinks while people blew smoke in my face.  In fact, when I was a waitress I hated the smoking section.  One time I had the section and four big old corn fed men sat and smoked cigars until the restaurant closed.  Thankfully the tip was good, but I smelled horrible that night.  I have only dated 2 guys that smoked and they both lived at home… hmm didn’t even make that connection.  LOL not that anything is wrong with that.  I mean sneaking into the basement is fun in your 30’s (NOT!!). 

My body is very appreciative that I have decided to give it water today.  Over the holiday weekend I was so bad about drinking all of my water.  I usually don’t do so bad, but the wine was calling my name more than the H2O which is maybe why I had a lingering headache on Friday.  Having to go to the bathroom every 10minutes is a small price to pay to get my body back in whack.

Red lipstick is not for everyone.  I think seeing people wear it always makes me want to go out and buy some but the MAC Ruby Woo and MAC red did not do a thing for me.  Now it may have been the light. But it looked like an orange mess on me.  I want to be that chick that give a great red lip, but alas the versions MAC have are not for me!!  I settled on a deep plum that everyone said went nicely with my hair. I actually spent way more than I intended at the good MAC counter, and I sincerely hope the sales girls (well on occasion guys… oh wait just one guy whose brows were better than mine that one time) get commission because they will get an extra product or 2 outta me EVERY time which is why I try to buy stuff online to replenish.  But I just KNEW the Ruby Woo was gonna be it for me!!

UUuuhhhh... I must not have shared my rule about not speaking in the bathroom with my manager.  Just as I popped a squat she wants to discuss work related items O_o NOOOO NOOO NOOOO LADY!!! Not the time or place.  Let me finish and wash my hands and leave the rest room AND THEN we can talk about the reports marketing sent!!! **pained look on my face** See this is why I try to time my visits so that I am NOT on anyone else’s schedule. 

I have decided to reinstate my ‘If you like it I love it’ mantra.  It seems that people aren’t taking what I say in the vein it’s meant and on the flip side I really don’t want your input so see it’s a win win.  I mind my biz you mind yours!! 

Will I SMILE will I Scorn....

what I would like to rant about right now if fucking GOOGLE!!! It's supposed to be a single sign on but it really isn't and I so wish everything including blogger were not attached to it... OK now let's begin...

This week has been rather interesting. I was supposed to start at a temp job but the Friday before it was pushed to the following Monday. Although I just called to see if I am starting this coming Monday so who the heck really knows.  Well but you know I am in hustle mode so I just push on.  I have been driving for Lyft and bartending.  And this week hasn't been bad.  In fact I looked at my bank account after the Lyft  money got transferred and I was like WELL ALRIGHT!!  But of course because it is ME I have many many stories.  Mainly bartending.  Nothing really too juicy with the driving just yet.  It's mainly picking people up from work or taking them to work.  The other night I was in Towson and a few college kids were going to happy hour.  What I've learned is me and driving at night is NOT really a good combination and so I don't think I'll be doing much of that.  Tuesday I bartended at a country club in Timonium where the guy from the Sun newspaper who's name I already forgot talk about the media and the tagline for the talk was 'Journalism Matters'.  SO yeah I tried not to make faces as he was so enamored with 45 and how 'great' he is with being so informed and he reads ALL the newspapers and he is just SO GREAT!!! I stood there like ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!  And I know I probably said it out loud too loudly on more than one occasion.  But let me back up.  This dinner talk thing was for the clients of a financial company that does not advertise, they just rely on references.  Needless to say even though I'ma go ahead and say it, your circle of friends and influence usually are people who look like you. Also, not everyone is interested in diversity.  They just aren't and that's really ok for how they live their life.  But I am a black woman.  I am the epitome of diversity.  And in this room of about 100 people, only 2 looked like me and that bothers me.  It didn't bother the company hosting.  And probably not the majority of the folks there.  We don't have to be included in everything JUST LIKE white folks do not have to be included on things that only pertain to black people.  Now I'm going on a tangent... but stick with me.  The bald black man, which I think is freaking hilarious that he has a hair care company but has NO HAIR from Shea Moisture is an idiot.  A friend of mine had his interview on the breakfast club and I watched it it but he wasn't saying much.  They did an advertisement mainly of white women and 1 very light skinned black woman.  These products have a large black base and he wants to expand, and just like Carol's Daughter before him folks thhey made a huge misstep. Women who have curly hair are not limited to black women, and companies like Shea Moisture have filled the void.  His issue is that he wants to not just be on the shelves in the stores labeled 'ethnic'. I have a point so let me get to it.  When I need a product at the store, I go to whatever section I think and get what I need just like white women. Garnier Frustise has a great serum I like so I slide on over there to get that.  Then I  need to curling foam I slide on over to the 'ethnic' aisle. There have been many occasions that I'm looking at the same stuff as white women because they may have kids that are mixed or the like the products for themselves.  But what you won't do is create a campaign and then apologize when you get backlash from black women!!  Were there no black women in the room when this was signed of on? You aint the only brand and we all have options so be careful how you present yourself to the world!
OK... back to the country club.  It is very interesting to observe people with money LOL
I worked at yet another country club where i set up for about 4 hours for an hour long event.  This was for the Garden Club of America and these women liked their wine AND vodka (my kinda ladies).

I had many many MANY thoughts from that week of working and some of it is still there but some of it is gone forever (triple dent gum WILL MAKE YOU SMILE... (not for everyone to get LOL))... yes forever ever!!

I have to thank my BFF for letting me watch her netflix cause a chick is being financially frugal yet she still wants to be lavish in her TV options.  If you are not up on Chewing Gum which is a British series on Netflix then... YOU MUST GET ONTO IT! British humor is not for everyone but this show is short and funny! I don't want to spoil it but one of the themes is that the main character is a 24 year old Christian virgin who does NOT want to be a virgin anymore.  So when she finally gets the secks, she sings a song WHILST being made sweet sweet love to!!  I was in TEARS!!! I'm laughing now!! SO it's 6 episodes and there are only 2 seasons WATCH!!

I started yet another temp job that has me questioning my entire life!!  Like WHY am I in hustle mode?!?!  My parents paid alot of good money to make sure I got this damn degree WHY am I not using it to my full potential?!?!?

Driving for Lyft which is actually not bad, mostly it's taking people to work or home from work. Sometimes we make a pit stop for them to get food and/or likka or their kids and that's about as deep as it gets.  No great stories... Well except maybe the 2 blind ladies from Health and mental hygiene that stopped to get chicken legs ( a total of 8 legs LOL) at the Popeyes!!  SOOooo here's the story I get pinged for a pick up, I drive to the back of the federal building.  The 1st security guard was new but the more seasoned one said nope you have to go around front.  I get to the front.  I have to open my hood, open my glove compartment, open my trunk, GET OUT of the car and give them my license.  I'm looking at them like y'all are really doing THE MOST!!! But we are all chuckling because they know this is fracken nackle but hey, it's a good job! At this point I call the woman and she comes out with a seeing eye cane and I feel bad for fussing at her earlier ( I called to make sure she knew I was on the way). Then yet another woman comes out with a cane and I'm like well shit!!! So they are both legally blind.  We make a pit stop at the Popeyes because everyone loves chicken (well except for vegetarians) and head downtown to their apt which I'm still trying to figure out if they were roommates or just happen to live in the same building.  On the way the talked about a woman with a big butt... so she aint THAT blind LOL, how they both hate their boss (45) and of course the chicken is smelling mighty good so now I need chicken!! I drop them off and that was that. Other driving adventures... I drove a Jamaican to driving school; a woman with a bonnet and pj's to clear across Baltimore with her little girl; a little girl who smelled like weed to work at Burger King; a Puerto Rican to a bar in Fell's Point; another dude to a bar in Hampden (he smelled really good); and a woman with the good gold side tooth the the Shopper's!  I have no complaints!!