peachy keen jelly bean!

This week has been one for the books!  SO I went to church Sunday and that was good!  Came home threw some wings on the grill cooked some greens.  My sister stopped by to visit with me and my mom.  Monday I laid in bed with the full expectation to get up, clean up my room which always seems to be in a state of dishelvelment (hmmm that's not a word, but lets push on) and as I attempted to get up, I just couldn't!  I am still not sure why but my bed said STAY HERE and that is what I pretty much did.  I ate a few tums and that really never helped.  All I ate all day was a yogurt, some watermelon and popcorn not nearly enough but that's all I could do.  I wanted a glass of wine but my stomach said JUST TRY ME AND SEE HOW THAT WORKS OUT!!! So I didn't.  Tuesday I wanted to do all the things I had intended to do Monday but the roommate seemed to require a level of care ALL DAY that I did not anticipate so my day was basically shot.  Tuesday night I hopped in the shower and turned it to my normal spot and it didn't warm up.  I mean it was 90 degrees so a cool shower was really ok.  Wednesday, I wake up a little after 6AM and today FINALLY I am rearing to go.  I cleaned and threw away so much from my bathroom.  I got products OFF my counter and under the sink in an organized manor.  I didn't realize how many feminine, hair care, cleaning products and just shit in general I had. Not sure what I did next probably just turned on the shower for my mom and it was COLD.  HOLE UP!!!  Why is this not heating up??!? I don't hear it boiling the water (or you know whatever it does). I run downstairs to check the heater because maybe I can just light the pilot.  And then yeah uuummm me lighting the pilot probably not a good idea.  Can I even light the pilot?  So then I do a calling frenzy to everyone who has a house to see who they knew that wouldn't rip a sista off.  I hate being in the vulnerable state of being a woman.  Let's face it if it is a yellow pages company they get one whiff that I have no idea what I'm doing and the price goes up.  Oh yeah and thanks GGG for getting back to me... OH WAIT she didn't (yep I just called you out!!!  LOL).  I called the guy that redid my 1st floor bathroom and he came within an hour.  He tells me all I needed was a part!  Oh great a part!! No new heater which is good cause a chick is not employed at the current moment so yeah that would not be in the budget.  I call the 800 number and wouldn't you know it the parts depart closed a 1/2 hour before!  But Mandy or Susie or whatever here name was still was able to help me out I got the part ordered.  I had wanted Miss Shirley's but it was already to late so Coldstone it was!!  I get to the store and see 2 ladies killing their waffle cone bowls and me being me I had to ask what they had.  I prematurely did a happy dance because there were only 2 people in line and I coulda swore the man said 'yeah because Obama texted me' and I'm trying to not be in the convo even though I totally am, but hey WHERE are all the little Coldstone kids?!?  So the little girl comes from the back.  She goes to my church so I kinda expect a greeting, yep that was asking for to much!  I finally say after she is putzing around, Where are all the people?  She said the manager was in the back talking to the other people.  So people are consistently coming in and she is still the onliest one.  Finally a little dude comes out cleans his spot and is ready for me.  I place some ridiculous order in the biggest size also with the waffle cone bowl, cause hell, why not?!?! I give him a 20 for my evil $6.66 ice cream treat and he says, so you wanted change back?!!?  LITTLE BOY **smh** YOU TRIED IT!!  And your cute, but NO!!  Give me my damn change.  Literally 2 seconds after I walk outside the heavens opened and the rain cometh and with great force and wind.  I'm not sure how I thought I was going to manage a bowl full of drippy ice cream AND a stick shift and I honestly did not do a great job.  Ice cream was everywhere!!  On my hands, on my shirt, on my steering wheel, on my feet... wait how did it get on my feet?  I navigate home slurping and trying to enjoy but I really didn't cause I was being hella greedy and after trying to not keep getting messy I didn't want any more. I get home thinking SURELY the roommate would want some but she was like NOPE  she didn't want any, so to the freezer it went.  I must say though day 2 Coldstone is just as good and I did enjoy it Thursday night.  Thursday morning I jump up and plan on not leaving the house because I need my part and I need my hot water.  UPS came at 9:15 I call my dude at about 9:30 and around 3 he calls to tell me he forgot all about me.  Yeah THANKS I feel so special now.  As we are on the phone he is asking me if I have pliers?  Wait HOLE UP you are coming to my house to install a part and you aint coming with tools?!?!  How does that even work?? I mean I know I do, but I am stereotypical chick when it comes to tools.  I have the basics but having an actual tool box, yeah not so much.  So I scramble around still pissed that he even bothered coming to my house ill prepared.  I find needle nose plier, which I actually need for a project I'm about to do, which also are not the type of pliers he needs and he says oh well I guess I need to go home and get my tools.  YOU THINK!!??!!  Don't get me wrong I really like this guy and I would absolutely use him again and recommend him, but let's not be so cool that you treat me any kinda way.  You're  not doing this for free!  This is business, so come prepared!  So he comes back fiddles around LEAVES midway to go get his wife (I wish I was making this up) comes back and fixes it!  I hear the water boiling and after about 20 minutes I had hot water!! FRIDAY!  So I finally find a fabric store that I think is the same store that used to be around the corner from my house.  I am still needing to reupholster the chair I bought a few months ago and this project has taken on a life of it's own because I just can't seem to find what I want.  I go to this really high end store where the 'cheap' fabric is 44 AMERICAN dollars per yard.  Yeah I only wanted to spend about 50 bucks so I ask a few questions and exit stage left.  I spot a Dollar Store.  I have a weakness for this store because well everything is a DOLLAR!!  I get all the things I need  along with a few snacks and head to the front.  Can I mention that this particular shopping center had an overabundance of geriatrics driving and all through out the stores.  I side step one older lady who seemed to stop to look at everything.  I mean hey, a good buy is a good buy!!  I get to the front and this is when I knew my Dollar Store experience was going to shift into overdrive.  So the cashier had a look of getting over an addiction.  I'm about 85% it was something hard.  So she looks at the 3 ladies in front of me while she is checking out a little boy and says 'I'm gonna get you guys outta here real fast!' Just do your job!! Is what I immediately think and then she proceeds to sell the little boy highlighters for military families.  The lady behind me literally has 2 items and she is saying OH THIS IS TO MUCH!!! I am still trying to put on a happy face because I'm not in a rush, but I do need to get outta there.  The 1st of 3 ladies in front of me must have bought several of the highlighters and/or supplies so this throw Jala (here name was Jala) into a tizzy of gratefulness.  'OH THANK YOU!!  Our Country thanks you!! So do you want to put your name on the supplies because some people like to be recognized but you know others don't so you know it's your call.'  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?  The lady is like NO.  She is trying to get outta there!!  The next lady buys supplies and the woman again goes into OH THANK YOU!!  YOU GUYS ARE GREAT!!  At this point the crazy haired chick from the back silently opens a new line and starts getting folks out and I'm like WHEN did that just happen??  The lady behind me jumps in that line but my stuff of course is on the belt and I am pissed.  My turn FINALLY!!  So the cashier proceeds to say 'OH I'm gonna get everything in one bag! These envelopes you are buying must be important to you but even though I'm folding it, it won't hurt them.'  OK FINE!! 'Here, you can take the candy bar, I know you probably want that haa haa haaa?!?!' NO JUST PUT IT IN THE BAG! 'See I got everything in the bag OH WAIT do you wan the Pepsi, it's hot out there.  OH YOU WANNA BUY HIGHLIGHTERS TOO!??  OH THANK YOU!! you can just put them in the box behind you.' OK THANKS! and then she squirts some hand sanitizer, rubs it on her hands AND THEN her face!!!  DA HELL?!?!?  So as she is doing alla this the receipt pops up.  I grab it and my bag and high tail it outta there!!!  The lady who jumped line was leaving at the same time and we were both like Yeah that was WAY to much at the Dollar store!!! We both chuckle. 
That was my week!!

My other exciting adventure was riding the Orange Circulator on the 4th of July.  So I have a friend who has a friend with a sweet condo in the Inner Harbor. We went there to watch the fireworks.  It made sense to park and take the free bus that Baltimore City has, 'The Circulator.'  So after parking the '03 Corolla on Baltimore Street making sure to not leave anything of interest in sight except for my Bible I hop out and wait for the bus.  I thought for a good 2 seconds if I needed to pay Pookie an nem to watch my car, but it is an '03 AND a stick shift so who really is gonna steal that?!?!  And I'm really not that fearful that someone will steal my car.  The man standing there is fussing about his bus not coming and I say well did the circulator come?  He said OH the free bus come every 10 minutes so you good! He had about 5 teeth which is GOOD for the city!! the bus does come and I wish the man well and say your bus is coming soon!  I have a little cooler thing that has the evening libations.  I plop down right before the steps in a 2 seater  and the bus pulls off.  The first stop... oh that would be right outside the methadone clinic near St Clair Junction!!  **SMH** Everyone seemed to be coupled up.  A white couple who either just got their dose or maybe just shot up the real thing get on and sit near the front.  A black couple who look extra clean (he had on his ALL white outfit, she had on some dumb shirt but her weave was tight!) get on.  And then an interracial couple gets on.  Now I am all for love who you love no matter the color and it doesn't really bother me (I mean let's be honest some times it does bother me, but not often and not in this case), but in this case they just didn't look like they were 'together'.  She looked real put together.  She had her little designer shades and designer handbag until upon closer inspection I noticed they were knock offs, but hey NO SHADE!!  She still looked good and put together.  He didn't look bad, but he was tatted up and didn't seem like he was with her; and then he opened his mouth and had fronts and bottoms.  But he sat on her hand and she says 'You can sit on my hand any time baby' LAWD!!  Sometimes I wish I made this up because it would truly make more sense! It just would.  Meanwhile Addict couple are doing some hard core nodding, but in true heroine fashion neither one of them fell!!  That is so amazing to me!!  White outfit dude says HEY to the put together white lady.  They are sitting across from each other diagonally.  Fronts dude says nothing, and Weave chick says nothing, but the other 2 are carrying on a real familiar conversation.  Not familiar like they dated but familiar like they know each others family and then my brain goes into overdrive.  WHY is white lady so comfortable on this bus around so many black folk?!?  It still perplexes me. All I got is that she was a bartender probably somewhere in the hood.  OHHHHH  I failed to mention at the Methadone clinic, the driver got off the bus for a few minutes.  just as he got back on the bus the weed head from across the street ran onto the bus and his lingering odor followed.  WHEW was it strong!  So put together lady is talking about her daughter who was gonna go to York to go to school and then she decided to stay in Bawlmer but the mama wanted her to experience the world.  In YORK?!?!  Yeah ok whatever.  At this point the addicts have been nodding back and forth and then the woman decides it's time to get off.  An entire family of Asian people get on the bus.  We're talking mother, father, kids, aunts, grandmother teenagers... A BIG ASS FAMILY!! After that a black family get on not nearly as big as the Asian family, it was only a mother and about 4 kids.  The one with the short fro decided to sit next to me.  The one with the red weave who combed her hair profusely and the curly weave sister sat in the front.  I get it you want long hair, but just  make it a little more believable or just better... I don't know.  Next are 2 black oh wait I'm not being PC African American ladies get one clearly annoyed by the amount of people of the little bus.  Weed dude gets off.  Scent STILL lingering.  They both do a double take and a whiff and look at each other.  Then it's getting close to my stop, but what do I do!?!?  OH I STAY ON THE BUS!!! Cause I thought it was gonna get closer to the Whole Food yet it never did.  So by the time I get off Bebe's kids who were loud and all kinds of wrong and I don't even remember when they got on got off too.  I chuckled at the fact that ONLY ME could screw up the free bus and have to walk 5 miles to my destination (ok 5 blocks but same difference!!).

Incidentally... one of the snacks I bought Hot Tamales are now the roommates favorite!!  She kept reaching out her hand saying 'just 2 more!'  I never  know with her!!  The ice cream I thought she would like she wanted no part.  the Hot Tamales that I bought FOR ME she has informed me that the next time I go tot he Dollar store, she needs her own box!!

tell me about it STUD!!

my day was actually going pretty ok!  I got up, cooked breakfast, got the roommate up fed her some of the cooked breakfast, I knew I needed to go to Wal-Mart because my fan done died and I had to do some other running around and even though it was hitting 90 by 8 AM I was good.  So I did my running around, bought the fan at the Wal-Mart headed to Staples to buy ink for my printer that took about an hour to update the driver OF WHICH it still isn't recognizing the color ink but it printed what I needed to print so I'll tackle the color in a bit, had the little tech dude help me, get to the cash register my wallet is not in my purse.  No problem I 'm sure it's in the car.  Go to car and it is NOT there.  Wait, lemme look in the back because I'm sure it's with all the bags.  Yep not so much.  Ok so I run back to Wal-Mart ask the less than empathetic cashier if she saw it, but she said she hadn't.  Went back to my car checked (ass all in the air with my denim skirt because naturally it was under the seat) the cart and the area where I was and it was just no where to be found. OH SHIT!!! NO THIS IS NOT HAPPENING TO ME TODAY!!! I go back into the Wal-Mart because surely some kind soul turned it into the wallet, the one with my bank card, my mama's bank card and my otha bank card and my license OH HELL I gotta go to the DMV aint nobody got time for that!!! So I freaked for a good 5 minutes collected my thoughts and took myself home.  It is WAY over 90 at this point and sweat is dripping from every conceivable orifice.  I call all the card people, grab my passport,  and then went to the Bank of America near my house.  Now WHY did I do that?!?  **smh** I'm in a race with the slow paint old guy with the white overalls which upon closer inspection should throw those things in the wash more often than he probably does.  I sign the sheet and then he signs after me.  I really should have taken the seat to the far left but no, I sit  near the woman with all the kids.  I have a problem with dirty kids!!  To many times the kids are lacking some basic attention and the mom looks like she just left the salon.  So in this case the woman brought all 6 of her charges under 7.  no wait she had 5 but then another lady came in with 1 who wanted to be part of the 6 and it got a little rowdy for a few minutes.  So there were many stains on shirts and the little boy had his flannel pj bottoms on (flannel?!?!  REALLY girl in this damn heat??) with some mismatched shirt.  his hair hadn't been combed he looked a hot mess.  THEN I look at the woman **SMDH** IN addition to the bonnet she had on, here jeans were a few sizes to small and the shirt just looked dirty.  And then the dude she was sitting next too didn't look much better but I didn't get a real good look at him before I decided this was too much for my frazzled state and I got up and exited stage left.  I go to the Bank of America in Catonsville where the clientele was not much better but there were not babies acting a pure fool.  There were 2 men sitting on opposite sides of an empty chair but when I heard one of them cough up a lung I decided that was NOT the seat I wanted to sit in.  SO I wait finally got the 'personal banker' with the star tats on both his neck and hands.  He was actually very nice.  I didn't want to get the lady in the severe white suit and pony tail because she looked mean, or the dude who just got back from lunch because he looked like his breath was going to offend me.  So star tats dude worked well.  It seemed like it took forever and he said thank you for being patient to which I replied 'what choice did I have really?'  I go to the subway to get food for myself and the roommate because I KNOW she's hungry and even in all this heat I need to eat as well.  So I'm behind 3 Indian men.  The one was probably my mom's age and just as ornery!!  The younger one tried to help him order his sub and he kept said HUH?!?!  She knows what I want!  The little girl looked like NO DUDE I DON'T!! So I ordered my food an got otta there.  In all of the chaos of the day I still need to get my hair braided so I call the place only to be told that Nah I can't come tonight, I can come tomorrow at 8 AND I have to buy the hair.  WELL shit, just one more thing I need to do.  At this point I smell less than fresh, but I know once I'm in the house I'm IN, so back out into the heat I go to get hair.  I went to the one hair place because I needed a specific brand of hair and it was close to the likka sto.  The little girl didn't want to tell me that I would look crazy if I got one color over the other but she was pushing me in that direction.  Then I got WINE because one of my favorite likka sto's in the same shopping center has 10% off wine Wednesdays' so really this is a good thing!!  I get 2 magnums (that is the big ass bottles) and then go to the frig and get a 4 pack of the same exact chardonnay because it's cold because while I am not above putting ice cubes in wine, (don't judge me!!) having cold wine is even better! So I get home, crack open one ask the roommate if she wants some OF COURSE she does, but I just looked over and there is still wine in that glass... we about to correctify that right quick... drank about 1/2 a glass and then hopped my stinky butt in the shower!! I talked to my girlfriend about cancelling everything and she reminded me that identity theft is rampant and I should file a police report.  THANK YOU for scaring the beejeeezus outta me by the way... but I just drank mo wine so It's alllllllll good!!

I have had all of my lady part checked last week and I'm good.  I have an ample bosom so I was really curious how the whole mammogram was gonna go. This was my first time so I was both concerned about pain and just curious in general.  So for some reason I got the giggles.  The tech was like ooohhh uuuhh... I think I need to take MORE pics, I underestimated.  Yes ma'am you DID. Having her arrange the girls just made me laugh.  And then after the machine clamps my breast down she does this extra manual twist and I was like UUUHHH NO they don't need and extra flattening!!  It only really hurt 1 time for the most part it's just uncomfortable.  But I got my report back and I have clean bill of health!

On my way to one stop today a little old man decided to jaywalk.  UH sir I will not hit because you are old and have a cane, but what you won't do is stop midway and just slow down!!  You knew the consequences of crossing in the middle of the block!! Get your old ass across the street!!
Old lady at the bank, if you put money in the bank and yet you have overdrawn, YES someone did hack you account and/or using it without your knowledge.  ijs
The gold toothed fellow with what I know where compression socks but they looked like panty hose, go easy on the cologne!!  A little splash is always better than the entire bottle.  That whiff turned the entire contents of my stomach!
And speaking on turning my stomach I started an oil pull this week.  What that is is swishing oil (either coconut, sesame or another 'organic' type oil) in your mouth to pull out the toxins.  A friend of mine mentioned I should try it a while ago but seeing HeyFranHey talk about it on the youtube made it make more sense.  I have coconut oil that I use on my hair but she suggested sesame oil so to Whole Foods I go to get the organic almost $11 sesame oil.  So here's the thing, you swish you do NOT gargle!!  I swished for a good 5 minutes (you should do it for 15-20 minutes for maximum benefit) and then the oil hit the back of my mouth and all of the contents of my empty stomach decided that was just to much!! It's not a bad taste but the texture of the oil takes a bit to get real used to.  I've only done it for 2 days so I am by no means an expert.  It is supposed to aid in sinus and migraine headaches and is a good detox.  I knew I needed to detox so this I thought would be a good method.  Oh and it whitens your teeth which is a good side effect.  SO the jury is still out.  I'll report back later.

I am ready for vacation!!!

that is all!!

Have you been listening? I'm gonna tell you the point...

I always feel so thoroughly violated when I go the ob/gyn.  It really helps that I go to a midwife who I have been seeing since 1996 so she knows me and I know her and it really is all good EXCEPT when she gets to poking and prodding.  I suspect that most women feel the same way but it's such a necessary step in our overall health.  One thing she said in regard to the size of the speculum she used on me was that 'tall women like you'... I thought OH YEAH I AM a tall chick and she knows!!!  That was all the validation I needed.  I've been calling myself a tall chick for a real long time and now the midwife concurs!!
This blog is gonna be all over the place because sometimes I want to say things to folks but I know it's better not to.  So here goes...

What I've learned in Hampden - 1) MEGGINS!!!  this is where I saw the young man with the zig zag man leggings and whose hair was also braided... he was a white guy so everything was a little extra about him.  2) you can buy shorts already cut off with stars and stripes on the pockets the show through ala Britney Spears.  I don't why this senior citizen woman had them on as she went into the sebenelben (figure it out) but she totally did and that's what I learned in Hampden.

I wore these platform sandals that made me look like an Amazon (you know cause I already am a tall chick) to church this week.  My biggest fear is that I am going to fall either walking down or up the aisle during offering. This week I was particularly self conscious because of my big ass shoes! So I didn't fall but I did drop my envelope. I picked it up quickly THANKFULLY my dress was long enough but I think if I had fallen I would have just laid there and let them throw one of those white modesty cloths on me until the end of service!! I am pre-embarrassed for when it hopefully doesn't happen.

This political ads are the worse.  You never really know who to vote for based on the attack ads, so I will be happy when this season is over.  I got a call the other day asking if I was going to vote for Anthony Brown who is the current LT Governor.  I told the little boy (because he sounded young) that I honestly didn't know.  I have a friend who posts pretty much everything Heather Mizuer puts on facebook, so I know who she is for.  And Dough Gansler, I just don't know.  They all sound like idiots but I guess I have to do my civic duty so we'll see.  There is an ad for state's attorney general Greg Bernstein who since I don't live in the city this is not something I can vote for but he has looked like a crook to me.  He, or his team, has this ad of 'regular folk' saying how good of a job he has done.  EVERYTIME I see it I want both the black chick and the white chick to tighten up their weaves and put a little lipstick on.  When I see fresh faced people on TV on there on purpose I always think, you did know they were gonna put you on TV right!??!  I'm not saying you have to have a beat face but a lil lipstick and mascara aint never hurt no one!! Well you know except the folks who are allergic. 

Speaking of beat faces, I swear I be doing something with my lil make-up until I see someone WHO really knows what the heck they doing.  And then I have to reassess my skill!

I just did a quick break to look up Lil Kim plastic surgery and her new baby.  I don't know why but that's how random I be sometimes!!

I need to get a shredder.  I'm not sure why Capital One wants to give me a credit card so bad when I have been doing just fine without any major cards for years now!  In fact I only really have my little Kohl's card (and I DO mean little since they have decreased my limit to $100), My Avenue card which I haven't used in years, and Care Credit (they too reduced me, but I need this one cause dental work is expensive and I just got my Obama Care!!). 

I have a feeling if I go upstairs the FedEx dude is going to come to deliver my wine, and the roommate may not hear the door cause she will be taking one of her multiple naps and I will be pissed because I have been home and he will slap a notice on my door too quick.  Oh yeah I'm home because my contract ended last month and even though I had a phone interview I have not gotten another job.  I really do need a break!  It's a lot of everything and I need a minute to chill.  Last week I did stuff pretty much everyday and I was tired most days.  It was a good week but I didn't really enjoy it like I wanted to.  Yesterday I was committed to not doing anything.  I had a bit of a sinus headache that was determined to not go away but it finally did.  My goal in general is to clean my house.  I am a serial pile maker.  I make a pile for things that need to get filed, a pile for things that need immediate attention, a pile for stuff I just can't throw away right this second MAYBE next week but not today, and just piles and piles of STUFF!! I have gotten rid of most of the paper but even as I look down now I have a pile that needs shredding, a tax pile, and a pile of CD's.  I bought a shoe bench thing to be able to take my shoes on and off when I enter my house and on top of that is the pile of magazines that I haven't gotten around to reading.  Piles of shoes are in the cubby holes.  I'm thinking about how I need to go clean my bathroom that has a massive amount of product (don't even get me started).  I have made some progress in the kitchen and I have about 3 big black bags of trash waiting to be pulled to the curb.  I know what have to do so thanks in advance for any suggestions.  I saw a blog where they said 'fake clean' which meant put everything in a basket until you get a chance to go through it.  The problem with that is you NEVER get a chance and stuff gets missed so that's good for temporary measures but I honestly have piles from last year when the lady came to help me organize my life and now I'm getting stressed out just thinking about those piles **sigh**.   I joked on FB that I needed Zoila from Devious Maids to come clean my house but I can't even hire someone until I get it to a point where someone can actually clean.  I am about to attack the pile of paper on the floor before Paisley my cat decides that is the exact spot she needs to lay.  She always seems a little pissed when I shoe her away and she always decides the moment I need to go through it.  And then the roommate will see the pile and then decide she needs to step right on it... REALLY LADY?!?!  We have been doing well!  I been trying not to disturb her routine to much and at the same time not get so used to just sleeping the day away because that can be so easy sometimes. 

So yeah that's what's going on with me!

I carried a watermelon...

So far today has not been the greatest day.  When I wake up and my mom (aka the roommate) is up and looking for her bra ready to get dressed and go to the store to buy postcards, it throws me off.  Not in a bad way but in a, lady we are in Baltimore not Mississippi so what do you need postcards?  Her response was well they had a lot of information on them and I need them!  Our family reunion was this past weekend.  It was really great to see everyone but it was such a busy weekend!  We flew in Thursday rested a bit.  Friday we got up and went to MS to visit my mom’s birthplace.  Now because she is 71 and has a bit of dementia, the actual address she gave us was only partially right.  She remembered 23^rd street, but it was actually it was 3^rd St.  She said it was 223 but there was no 223 to be found.  So we drove up and down 3^rd St and she made us ask pretty much everyone on the street where 223 was.  The good thing is we are in the south, WAAAAAAAAY in the south so folks wave and have a hi y’all ready and waiting on their lips, so stopping to ask them questions was really not a problem.    But we stopped about 50eleven people including a man who had about 3 teeth who wanted to just keep talking and a shirtless man who had major tats and tan line and 223 just did not exist.  But we rode around and she was able to see some landmarks.  We then went to her 1^st cousins home who she hadn’t seen since the 90’s so it was very emotional.  My cousin has a lot on knick knacks in her home, and that was special!  OH and we stopped at the Kermit the Frog birthplace which is ALSO in Leland, MS! SO yeah.  And then that night we made to Beale Street.  I really didn’t know what that was going to be, but mostly it was bars with singers and bands.  I really just wanted some food.  Saturday we got up went to Denny’s and ate like we never had a meal before in our life only to go to a cookout about an hour later.  The cookout is like the main event for the reunion, even though we had a meet and greet… actually let me back up.  So Friday night we had a meet and greet AND a DJ!!  Now this was a first for us!  Everyone was dancing and eating and we had a great time!! So after the cookout I had to take a beat because it was HOT and I was tired!! Took a shower and went to get some more food… we really do like to eat!  Now I expected a little more soul food and I must admit we really didn’t go to many places BUT the peach cobbler at Kooky Canuck is something to write about!! Man was that thing good!!  Sweet and the crust was off the freaking hook!!! Sunday we had a brunch and brought out booties home!!  I know there is a lot more and I may revisit as the blog goes on.  So that was why my mom was a little confused this morning.  She is still in TN and MS mode and I was totally not ready for that!

I was watching R&B Divas the other day and something really hit me… do you sit around your house face FULLY made with eyelashes?!?!  I mean is that YOUR reality?  I think it was KeKe and her mother just beat for the GODS sitting around the kitchen and then the camera went to Angie Stone and her daughter faces BEAT yet again.  I mean I know you should be camera ready but DAMN Y’ALL!!!  It’s just a bit much, but you know whatever.  And speaking of this show (which I just watched ep 5) Latavia girl start practicing so we can hear you sang.  IT is a singing show and that is what you are required to do.  It can’t be that bad.  I knew something was ‘off’ when I purchased the supposed compilation cd for the show and Faith Evans was the onliest one on the cover, inside and back.  There was no group picture NO WHERE!! It immediately left a bad taste in my mouth and I hadn’t even listened to the thing.  And then I did listen and I still had the bad taste.  I think the only song I liked was the intro song and Syleena’s song.  So the fact that it was nominated for a Grammy but only Faith is the only nominated made complete sense to me.  To be honest most of the R&B categories had some whack nominations, but if that cd had won it would have been beyond messy.   Faith that was hella shady and you know it!  It’s ok to share the spotlight.  And while I really don’t think her nature is to be shady it does look a little dark over there. 

Lime green crocs?!?!  That’s what you rocking dude???  Ok carry on!!

Me and Uncle Sam and the State of Maryland are about to have a lil disagreement.  So I filed and paid taxes for both 2012 and 2013 for the state and sent in an initial check for the gubment for 2012.  The state was like ‘chick!? yeah we gon need some additional past due funds.’  But really it’s not that much so I’m not tripping too hard.  But the I, the R, and the S sent back a letter that basically said ‘that was cute… you tried it!!  Now we want ALL of the money !’ For anyone who knows me, I truly do not play when it comes to taxes.   Or maybe this a family thing, my immediate family and cousins know!!  So it all goes back to when I was a kid.  I had a very close relative go “away” (that means he was in jail), and I was told, I was only about 7 or 8, that he didn’t pay his taxes.  Now that was not the real reason but it was the best reason to give me OR SO THEY THOUGHT!!  They being my mother and father who were trying to shield me from the harsh realities.  What they didn’t realize that this lil white lie has scarred me for life!!  As a kid, probably when I got a little older they would joke about not paying taxes and I would get spastic like OH YES YOU WILL PAY YOUR TAXES!!!!  The thing is they forgot they told me this lie but it quickly became apparent that this is NOT something you joke about in my presence.  Since then, I have been a little paranoid about the whole tax situation so when 2013 came and went without me having filed anything for 2012 was a HUGE deal.  Even though I know it will take more than 1 missed year, I fully expect the sheriff to be at my door any given day to haul me off to jail.  And we can’t have that so I really need to call them people soon and work a deal.

One of the reasons I’m having a not so great day is that my contract has not been renewed.  I’m not really sad but I do need to work in order to pay Uncle Sam. What is hilarious to me is that I just finished talking to a co-worker who nonchalantly said ‘Oh I just passed the bar and I’ll get sworn in next month, but I need some steady income.’  After I picked up my chin I am still flabbergasted that she is so very blessed and is still very matter factly about it!! Good for her.  Meanwhile her contract is up as well and she has a plethora (SAT rod ding ding ding) of opportunities but is worried about this lil job.  Whew folks are funny!!

Random…There is a new show on USA called Playing House and the guy said ‘No one puts baby in the corner’… you know the iconic line from ‘Dirty Dancing’ so the pregnant lady said 'I carried a watermelon!' And the guy was like WHAT?!?!  She said you know from Dirty Dancing… he hadn’t seen the movie.   SO now my titles will be random lines from my favorite movies!!

 

i don't really mind if it's over your head

Insecurity is not a sexy quality.  It’s not that I think I have it all together I truly do not, but insecure is one thing I hope no one ever uses as a term to describe me.  I was talking to the little girl (she is young early 20’s) who is the security guard.  It looked like she had cut her hair but she was explaining to me that she had about ½ inch new growth and was attempting to go natural.  She said she looked a mess at the mall yesterday and then she decided to pin it up and the front was out but it looked really cute.  I told her some days I look a hot mess but I still carry it like it looks good.  Today I am rocking the full on fro.  I didn’t twist last night and it really was a bushy mess but I kept picking it till it stood up the way I want it to.  This really isn’t about hair though.  You can have a poor image of anything, your body, hair, speaking in public, job skills just anything!  Recently one of my friends/co-workers tried to lump me in a category of not having a certain skill set for a job.  I told her to speak for herself because my skill set was HUGE!!  I could run this place if they needed for me to!  I know firsthand from a manager we both had at one time how she is looked at.  I sit in meetings and they say Hey Chick do you know how to convert widgets to wangers?!?  And I say I SURE DO!! I leave the meeting and GOOGLE IT!!  Then I find any experts I know on wangers and I get the shit done!  She hems and haws and generally management doesn’t like that.  As for my body, well I have said in the past that I wanted to be a big booty girl.  I have lots of boobs but booty not so much, except I was looking at myself in the mirror the other day and I kinda do have a big booty.  I guess I should have said big booty small waist is what I wanted and I’ma throw a swim suit on with all my TNA and act like I’m the cutest chick at the pool/beach! 

Old man at the post office, WHY do you think you are exempt from standing in line and just out and out get in front of me?!? I’m about 2 seconds from letting things slide and I do not think the people are ready.  And WHY did I think I could run in and run out?!?  The dude in front had about 50 packages that had to be individually metered.  I’m thinking he didn’t know about the flat rate boxes and that they can come to your house. And then there was the little girl in the purple tutu who was giving me way more cuteness than I could handle!! And finally the cashier, does your face need to be that beat to work at the post office?!?  Yeah maybe!!!  She looked good and well put together which is not saying much for the other cashier who looked like he hadn’t washed hi shirt in weeks and was acting real postal and slow for no good reason.  It’s 10 AM buddy and folks got shit to mail!!

I have a friend who does not enjoy food as much as I do and I cannot for the life of me understand why!!! She knows who she is!! She constantly says she is not a foodie and I keep tryna explain you don’t have to be a foodie to enjoy food.  I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like Miss Shirley’s.  It’s almost sacrilegious to speak bad about that restaurant, but this chick says it’s ok.  OK?!?!?  **major side eye** We were talking about vacation and how she wants to do activities and she just can’t understand why food has to be part of it.  I mean I don’t plan my day around food (well I mean sometimes I DO), but make no mistake DO NOT let me get too hungry or there will be heck to pay LOL!! I always appreciate a good meal, a good drink a good glass (or bottle) of wine!  Like a few weeks ago I had some fries with gravy and cheese curds.  CHEESE CURDS!! And then we had calamari (which I have had some bad calamari in my day) came in this little fry basket and it was sooo good.  Now I know I take my love of food to an extreme sometimes, I know this! I know everyone is not brought to tears because something is just that good (crab cone from Gypsy Queen food truck OHHH IT’S THAT SERIOUS!!)!!  But good food is just good food!  But  I’ma let her slide because at least she tries new things.

I really know how it feels to be, stressed out STRESSED OUT!

It is chilly today, but it’s still a nice spring day.  I am totally not going to complain about the heat or the cold no more.  It’s useless anyway.  But what I do need to do is stop wearing these little sandals because my feet are a bit chilly today.

So per ALWAYS chatting in the loo is an unwritten rule of mine.  And I think because its unwritten people take all the liberties and just be talking to me cause they just don’t know. So I’m in the stall doing my thing and the lady next to me says ‘OH YOUR TOENAILS ARE SO PRETTY! I really need to go get a pedicure myself and that is the color I want!’ I was so flabbergasted and if you could have seen the look on my face, I was DONE!  No really, everything stopped I said a weak thanks and high tailed it outta there.  Then I looked at myself in the mirror and just shook my head.  REALLY??   What we are not gon do is have a conversation while I am in the freaking stall!!

This whole speculation behind what Solange, Jay Z, and Beyoncé said and did is a bit much.  We have all seen the footage and my girl Solange was indeed out for blood in the elevator.  I suspect we will never truly know what happened because they keep things like this real tight and quite.  But what I will say is that I am a younger sister and I have dared on more than one occasion for a man of any importance to try it with my sister.  The last guy I said it to laughed and then saw my face when I said I WILL HURT YOU and then did a little nervous giggle.  I still have it out for him and he don’t even know it!!  And Solange is not ratchet or ghetto she is just a sister.  What no one is saying is it looks like she is fussing at Beyoncé as well as Jay.  So they both did something that was outta pocket and Solange was fixin to handle it Miss Pope style!! What’s messed up is nothing we say or do is truly private; it’s just that what I say or do no one really cares.   No one is gonna leak no video footage of me.  So that’s what I have to say about that.  OH wait and Julius kinda coulda did a better job.  I mean I know he was protecting Bey!  Lawd I hope the Beygency don’t come for my edges!!  LOL

I wish my cat was as gangster as the one who attacked the dog that was attacking the little boy.  But alas Paisley is so not!!

Why do you need to go in the office right outside of my little cube?!?  Do I need to remind you that there are 100 others you can choose from?!?!  Ijs The shit is so annoying

Lady I am not trying to get in front of you.  The cash register dude is already checking you out.  WHY do you feel the need to get all up in my face?!?  I’m not the one!!

I have literally been on edge quite a bit here lately.  WELL hell, always!!  But my brain is on 100 and I will be glad when this month is over.  I know I’ve said I need to stop anticipating things to be over and just enjoy the present but it’s just so much on my plate and I’s tired and the break that is coming up is what I need!

random for EOB ;)

I was all set to talk about my random day(s) on the FB. And here goes…

So the average age of the people at the Pikesville Panera is 75.  I turned to look and there was an 85 year old in a SHORT tennis skirt with varicose veins and jiggly legs.  I can’t unsee that and I do not appreciate whoever sold that skirt to her AND for the people she was with to let her leave the house with said skirt on.  Then there was the 80 year old man.  They called his number and tried to give him his to go bag.  He is standing there looking at the Panera dude saying is it for here or to go?  For here or to go??  Panera dude starts taking the sandwich out of the bag and then stops and says well sir what did you want?  Old dude says oh well I just wanted to know if I could eat it here or did I have to take it to go?  Panera dude AGAIN says sir what do you want? Old dude says OH well I wanted to go!  Panera dude thrust the bag in his hand and I’m standing there like I CAN’T!!

To the lady with the bad wig and fisher hat, YES as a matter of fact you did just take my spot so don’t look at me crazy like you don’t know what’s up. 

Something that has really been bugging me lately are assumptions.  Don’t assume anything about me, NOT ANYTHING!!  Because as well as you think you know me I am just as likely to switch gears as I am to do what you think I’m going to do or say.  Just ask me.  This stems from a few things but most recently a coworker comes up to me and says ‘so you didn’t put up the signs in the bathroom and it is so unlike facilities to do something like that’.  I stood there like wait I DID put up the signs!  So a little background; the women’s restroom has been a point of contention for me for some time.  The women have been less that tidy.  When more people were in the building the restroom was cleaned a few times a day.  Now because we are the foster children of the company we have all of the 2^nd and 3^rd string workers and they don’t do the best job.  But there are less women so you would think the bathroom would not be so nasty.  OH BUT IT IS!!  After seeing more than anyone should in bathroom I made up a sign that said ‘Ladies we need to do better.  Please make sure ALL the contents of the commode are flushed including the liner’. I posted them and for the most part it‘s been not so bad.  So what made her think I didn’t have the where withal to do that?!  I’m not ashamed so it’s not like I’m hiding it, but she assumed I didn’t and didn’t ask me so I just said ‘WELL I think it has made a difference’ and carried my happy ass in the stall because need I remind you, I don’t like bathroom chatter (and I have a shy bladder). LOL

There is so much flesh that is exposed now that it has gotten the least bit warm.  I am trying to figure out why I get so offended by people who just do not dress appropriately? WHY DOES THIS BOTHER ME? Last week I went to Hershey Park for a lovely little outing and the theme of the day were booty shorts and leggings.  **LOUD SIGH** First off it was not warm enough to have on booty shorts, it just wasn’t.  And as for the leggings they are just wrong on so many levels but yet people still wear them like the look good (including me for my birthday, but I was harnessing my inner Solid Gold and I DID look good LOL).  Just please make sure the shirt or top is long enough.  In my thought process I tried to determine why it bothers me and I still can’t figure it out.  So like in my previous blog I’m gonna stop hatin for no good reason.  HOWEVER I will continue to hate on meggins OH YES THEY EXIST!!! And they too are wrong on so many levels and for so many reasons.