HAPPY NEW YEAR 2018!!

So yes it is the middle of February month but so what! This my blog!!!  Who go check me?!?!? LOL  I haven't felt motivated to write much and I'm not real sure why.  So far this year has been GREAT!! 

Hmmm... what to share?!?!?!  

So the roommate is safely at her assisted living. And being well cared for.  It occurred to me late in the year last year that I was still taking on a whole lot dealing with her.  Not that that's a bad thing, but I need to live my life and do hood rat stuff with my friends!!  LOL  That was from that little boy a few years back that stole his mom's (or grandma's I can't remember) car.  He was all of 11. Anyway...

So here lately I think men think it's ok to speak to me any kind of way!! So today I'm minding my business and a old fool comes in and says to me 'they told me to come in and get my uniform' I say... 'Well who is they?'.  He grunts something at me and then I proceed to say YOU KNOW WHAT... you are acting like the 20 year olds that come in the office and I know you know better.  So then he said 'Well my supervisor said come down here' AGAIN I say Well who is your supervisor?!?!? Better yet... What is your name, since answering these questions seem to be too hard? He then decided to get loud WITH ME!!  WELL EVERYBODY  KNOWS Y'ALL DON'T KNOW WHAT Y'ALL DOING DOWN HERE SO... and then I think I left my body for a second.  UH EXCUSE ME SIR!?!?  I. AM. NOT. THE. ONE.  So you can sit your ashy ass down so I can help you!!  Actually I didn't call his ass ashy even though I'm pretty certain it was!!!  So he proceeded to try to out talk me.  AND AGAIN I SAY I AM. NOT. THE. ONE!!!!  NOT TODAY I'M NOT!!! Now I can handle myself, but my manager got a little flushed and said OH UUHH... I Can handle this.  So then he sits (his ashy ass down) and says to her 'they told me to come down here to HR and get my uniform!' She looks at him and say's WELL who is they?!?!? He said well you know, I need to get fitted!!  She says, so you don't know your size?!?!? He then mumbles something.  So she handed him a uniform sheet and he filled it out I think.  I ignored him after that!!  And then the other day a big ole ugly guy.... ok not ugly just not as easy on the eye as I would like comes in and says real loud, WE NEED TO THIS PAPERWORK NOW!! I think my head snapped around and I said WHAT YOU WON'T DO IS RUSH ME!!!  THAT' WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE!!  I love saying that WHAT YOU WON'T DO!!!  It's not even all that new... but I still. Anyways I think I started typing a whole lot slower!!  Like this mofo is not gonna make me rush on his account.  Ok so that was only 2 men but still LOL

I am very bummed right now because in the excitement of getting 2 boxes of Paparazzi jewelry the small order I placed last month just up and disappeared.  But they gave me a credit so that's good I guess... I mean I wanted those specific products but my fault for not paying attention.  I truly hope one of my neighbors comes and gives it to me.. NOT LIKELY at this point but it would be nice.  I did score big though the other day.  SO we all know by now I am have hoarding tendencies, I just do and I'm neither proud nor ashamed of it. My office has shit E V E R Y W H E R E!!!  So in the process of throwing shit out there were 2 toners.  They were for a printer that had been long gone.  So I say well I'll take them to Staples and return them.  My manager in her fit of her occasional OCD (it is more random than my blogs LOL) says NO I'M THROWING THEM AWAY!!! I was calm though I said... No I'll take them and proceed to take them out of the thrash.  She then says (jokingly) IF I SEE THEM IN YOUR CAR IN 2 WEEKS, I'M BREAKING IN YOUR CAR AND THROWING THEM AWAY!!!  Now I can really hold onto some things, but in this case I actually took them back.  So one day the big sign reads ACCIDENT JUST PAST 17 which is my exit and traffic decided to get extra thick so I say OH i'll hop off, take these toners to the Staples and head home the back way.  In my mind I'm thinking I was gonna get $20 but at most $50.  So the guy says since you don't have a receipt you will get store credit.  But it's staples AND I love office supplies so I really am good with that.  He puts the first one to the side and I'm thinking OK COOL it was accepted in the system.  He then rings up the second one and I see $202.44 on the little register and I like WAIT WHAT?!?!?!? He hands me the the store credit card thing and I'm like Sooooo... is there a time limit to use this?  He said Nope!  And then I was GIDDY!!!  Absolutely giddy!! I only bought a little wireless mouse and then I am thinking real hard about the rest of this money.  This FREE money that would have been thrown right down the toilet had I not rescued it.  You also know that I have been scouring the closet for more stuff to take back!

I am getting ready to go to South Beach to celebrate a girlfriend's 50th and I AM SO EXCITED!!!  I intend on having ridiculous amounts of fun!!  It is going to be warm and there will be a beach and likka and my girls... What else do ya need!?!?!?

no they won't be naming no buildings after me...

I just looked in my frig and I have eggs and Pellegrino... HOW AM I LIVING MY LIFE!!!  I am judging myself LOL I mean I also have juice and wine, but that really is about it.  I thought about the supermarket for about 2 seconds, but I always convince myself that I really do have food. And I do, in the freezer. I probably should pull something out.

It really is time to do a year in review.  Christmas is Monday and 2017 will be done soon after. Let's review.... So I moved my mom into an assisted living and my sister told me I was less mean, so that's a good thing!!  I was an extremely hard decision and i go look at her several times a week.  I say look because some days are good ones where she is feisty and has a lot of questions and conversations to the days where she just stares at me and I know she is locked in her brain ans whatever she wants to say just won't come to the surface.  Most days are in between where she tells me she needs to fart and she goes off to sleep!  On the job front they were all temp jobs, some bartending and some driving.  I was in straight hustle mode!!  And I got tired. And so I stopped driving as much but I never found a work home or work people that I wanted to call my own.  I sell jewelry Let me find my link real quick...  And I really enjoy that.  I have 6 partners for a business that is still trying to get its wings (like red bull) and it's a  little frustrating because I feel like I should be a millionaire (or at least a thousandaire LOL) by now.  Everything comes in due time so I also feel like something is really holding us/me back because we/I may not be completely ready.  WELL clearly I'm not ready because as much of an entrepreneurial spirit that I do have, I still think about having a J O B.  But it really boils down to, bills have to get paid and as much as I want to be like Oprah and do what I love, BGE wants their cut every month. On the dating front... wait I'm not sure what that is... so moving on.  OH here's something big... I bought a new car at the end on March.  Specifically March 31.  It was end of month and end of quarter so those men were not letting me leave the dealership without making a deal with me.  What's funny is the ownership changed, but I still rolled up in there like SO I STILL GET MY FREE OIL CHANGE, RIGHT?!?!?!?  I did get in a car accident so I almost feel like silver cars are cursed, because the silver Honda I had back in 90-something i got in an accident as well.  Neither one was my fault even though this go round I think I might be out a thousand because I haven't yet called state farm and geico to fight.  Claims have been submitted and denied, but I still need to fight!!  Thankfully I was not hurt, but I almost think I might have needed to get hurt in order for me to get any money.  And I don't even want to get rich off this, I just want to money back that I put in.  

Yall know I got distracted...

Some of my biggest pet peeves are ones that you should have learned to not do in kindergarten.  Like chew with your mouth CLOSED!!!  This is so simple but so many don't know how to do this. And then since your mouth is closed, there is really no reason for conversation... SO no talking with your full ass mouth.  Just EWW!!!  And you demand that I ask you specific (or pacific LOL) questions then I'm going to demand the same.  Don't start no sentence mid stream and think I know what the hell you are talking about even though I do, I'm gonna play dumb like I don't.  Everyone does not get your stank ass humor so stop being hurt when no one laughs.  People who over use sanitizer I always give a lil side eye like, just go wash your hands if you are that germaphobic.  Like I get it you want to be clean but it just grosses me out cause you need a few germs in you so you don't get sick. I was in the bathroom the other day and a mom says to her little girl 'do you want to just use the wipes we have in the car?'  I a was like SO you gonna walk ALL THE WAY to the car when the sink and soap is right here?!?  That is beyond nasty.  Thankfully because there was one of those dyson air dryers where you have to pull your hands up the little girl was like NO I wanna use that.  So the mom washed her hands.  And then yet another day I'm in there and the woman comes out having just flushed, checked her hair, and rolled out.  I looked around like WAIT HOLD UP!!! You really NOT gonna wash your hands??  I think I used extra soap and then used the towel to touch all surfaces knobs for the rest of the day.  YOU. CAN. NOT. FINISH. MY. SENTENCES.  You just can't so please stop trying!!!  This is not a peeve more of a LIKE; a good smelling man can get further with me even if he is not so easy on the eye!!  ok that's it for now

musical hodgepodge

Getting into the Christmas spirit is hard for me for a lot of reasons and we all know I love the Little Baby Jesus.  But I know if I hear Mariah "all I want for Christmas" one more time I might kill someone.  ALSO, "Last Christmas" by anyone other than George Michael and even HE is a little iffy.  ALSO, if it's not Donny Hathaway don't play any other version of "This Christmas".  Both his slow and fast version.  My sister asked me if I liked Chris Browns version.  She almost got slapped!!  I can tolerate Luther's version, cause it's LUTHER, but for real for real ALL I like is Donny's version.  I do have some Christmas music.  Luther Vandross (of course right?), the Peanuts (yes the cartoon Peanuts) Christmas album, Rahsaan Patterson (yes this one is very random, but I like it), a mix one of my co-workers made back in the late 90's, Kirk Franklin and the family and that's about it.

I am currently listening to Kenny Lattimore who is doing great justice to Phil Collins "One more night"  even though I had to pause the cd to listen to Phil for a minute.  Actually Kenny did a version of an Elton John song that brought tears to my eyes.  But we all know I'm a big cry baby.  Let me find it... Come Down in Time!!  WHEW that song.  Sometimes lyrics need to be a little more elaborate that shake ya ass and I wanna screw (that's a Barb word LOL).  I don't usually like covers, but sometimes people can make the song their own.  Like LUTHER... I must need to put him on next!!  Even Lalah Hathaway can make you forget there was someone else before her that did the song.

I guess I'm in a music mood.  I was awed for a second when I asked my oldest nephew who said he listened to a lot of music but he didn't know who Ledisi was.  I think I repeated her name about 5 times and then he pulled he up on the youtube "Alright" came on and he was like OH OK.  Then I was like WELL WHAT DO YOU LISTEN TO?  He said Frank Ocean, The Weeknd... I just kinda gave him a blank stare.  I wanted to say THAT AINT MUSIC but I chilled LOL  I know I can be old school or hell just OLD sometimes, but I really don't like the new stuff now.  He mentioned a few people I have heard of like Future and Joey Badass, but if couldn't tell you what they sang or rapped. 
i said I heard of the Lil's like Lil Uzi Vert and the ASAP's like ASAP Rocky... But still have no clue what they rap.

Now I got my boy Eric Roberson on.  He recently did a trilogy of cd's.  When they came out I just did not have the funds.  But I just got the first installment EARTH.  I still need to get WIND and FIRE.  The elements!!  I know he explained it in one of his IG posts,  I know it is paying homage. 

Also, just bought Stokley who was the lead singer in Mint Condition.  I'm not sure why he felt the need to go solo.  The band is still together as far as I know.  He has done a few things on his own, but I guess not splitting the check 5 ways might be a benefit.  There is something about his first released single "Levels" that I just rubs me the wrong way but I knew I was gonna get his cd.

I got so much drama on my mind I REFUSE TO LOSE!

I'm on a conference call right now... Really trying to figure out my life and tired SO TIRED of waiting for someone else to make a decision so that I can have a job.  I have got to live my life differently.  I might want to start with turning off all the damn lights and turning UP the damn heat because I am cold yet I am pantsless and braless (yes I know this is an overshare but it is the truth right now!).  So this is my life.  It is also too dark to early and once the sun goes down I am ready to get my brown booty right in the bed.  But I got shit to do so I can't just be getting in the bed at 6:30!!  I CAINT!!!  And every single leaf on all my trees have huddle right up to the bottom of my steps.  They can't scatter like regular leaves!  And I need for it NOT to rain AND for my lawn dude to come clean this up!!  Cause I aint doing it and I will pay for him to do it.  What I also need is for my drunk neighbor to stop knocking on my damn door thinking I am his personal ATM.  I gave the guy some money once and know he thinks it's ok to just knock on my door.  SO last night I was 2 seconds from calling the cops.  His story was he needed to get his pregnant daughter to the hospital.  And I have questions marks... Where is the baby daddy?  Why she aint got no money?!?!  Where is her mother? Why does drunk neighbor have to come up with the money to get her there?  Why can't they call the ambulance?!?  And most importantly WHY DOES HE THINK I HAVE MONEY!?!?!?  Now I do... but this is a terrible precedent to start up.  What I say now is I don't have any cash in the whole entire house!!  FOR YOU is what I need to add.  Just like BLACK LIVES MATTER... TOO!!!!  It should be an agreed upon assumption.  I am struggling my damn self.  I had to check the account balance a few times to make sure there is enough in the account for mortgage and the cell phone because they both come out the 1st day every month.!!  I have been talking to a few girl friends because I really want to jump on this $19.99 for 2 year internet and just do internet and cancel the cable.  And as behind as I am on most shows, I really could binge watch them.  Plus I got PRIME and I just looked at the line up, and there is ALOT of content that I need to get too.  So yeah.  This is a hellified rant of complete randomness!!

Ummm... what else. 

I am currently dealing with a person who I am clear I need to watch my back and constantly cover my ass!!  I hate that feeling but like Olivia Pope, my gut is never wrong.  And speaking of Olivia... What the hell is going on this last season?  I have barely been watching it, alls I know is Quinn is kidnapped and Papa Pope has her oh and MAMA Pope is back on the scene and so there that!

Thanksgiving was good... small in numbers but good.  We had a bazillion sides but what else do you expect from Ethel's grandkids!?!?  And it is good to know that ALL black folks are hella extra with all of the sides!!  I don't know why I thought it was just us but when I saw all of the memes I was like OOOH OK!!!

a few days later...

I am currently sitting right but the lil space heater in the cold ass waiting room tryin to get my niece's car washed.  Across from me is a dude in skinny sweat pants.  WHY LORD do they make these?  I am so ready for the whole skinny jean phenomenon to be over.  Now what I need to be doing is working on my resume but I'm out here finishing my blog and looking at skinny sweatpants LOL

Ok resume updated and sent.  Now we wait.  Which is the part I hate.  I know I'm qualified but having to always prove my skills to others gets a bit nerve racking.  I'm not sure if I wrote about this but a few months ago I had a phone interview that I thought went well.  They told me they were going to pass which I was like oh mmkay... their loss. BUT THEN these mofos brought me in for an in person interview where I had to PAY for parking said the same thing I did on the phone.  I think it boiled down to money.  If you ask me how much I want and I tell you which is way outside of your budget then why don't you start with  how much you are willing to pay?  I have no problem saying no or trying to decide if I can work with the amount stated.  But what I don't accept is that I'm not qualified.   Hey I clearly gotta toot my own horn!!  LOL

I hope they have my car back there... I now have to go to the bathroom.  Oh we started with a hellified overshare so why not end with one?!?

repeat after me... WOOSAI!

I have already had a pretty interesting week and it's just Tuesday.  So yesterday I'm driving to my temp job and a suv is blocking the way.  It looks like he about to move but then he just doesn't so I roll my window down and say CAN YOU MOVE!!!  I have a little bit of attitude because I am on time and this fool is making me late.  He was kinda cute but though... He says 'Do you work here?' I say YES!!  And then as I roll my window up I'm saying to myself out loud 'why the fuck else would I be trying to park here!?!?!' The attitude escalated!!  Then I see all the police cars as I'm walking into the job and my co-workers looking out the windows and I'm like AAAHHH HELL!!!  What is REALLY going on here?!?!?  So I stroll in and sit down and they let me know that all the police are here because 42 is about to enter the building!!  Oh you know who President Bill Clinton!!!  And I get a little excited and giddy and think back to the fact that he is the 1st president I voted for when I turned 18 right off the good VSU campus.  But then the idea was quickly dashed of me meeting him because the motorcade and police escorts were already in place and they parked the plane the opposite direction of the building so no one even got to see him except for those few people that were supposed to.  So I started my day.  And about a 1/2 hour later waved to the car/limo that may or may not have had him!  So that was cool.  I can say I met him y'all wouldn't know!!!  And then the day just got busy.  I work in an hr department for an aviation company. A little girl (they're all little girls and boys to me) comes in to have unemployment paperwork completed even though this fool didn't even work a full 2 days!  In a nut shell she was supposed to start training, she had a death in the family; the company was willing to work with her and push out her start date, but according to the paperwork, she said they fired her; which they did not. They ignored her calls for the rest of the day (notice I said they... I aint have nothing to do with that!!) so the afternoon came and she stormed in the office and demanded to speak to the hr manager who didn't really know the circumstances but still proceeded to say you have wasted our time and money BUT we are STILL willing to work with you. This lil TRICK goes into a full meltdown tantrum!! She starts yelling, screaming and then crying AND THEN she throws he keys and phone on the floor and runs out.  We look at her stunned!! There was a male manager who went after her because all the women (there were 3 of us) looked at here like she was crazy and allowed the tantrum. So yadda yadda yadda (that means there is way more to the story, but you getting the quick and dirty) the police come take a report only after she calls the manager a bitch and says she is gonna sue her because she hurt her feelings.  The last time I checked, you can't sue some one for hurting your feelings!  I mean if that were the case I would have many suits pending both ones I filed and ones people filed against me.  That was just a bit much!  Also I am doing a pre-screening of applicants and one of the questions is 'Have you resided in the US for 5 years?' With people with noticeable accents they say yes I have and I move on... OH BUT not the dudes and dudettes born here.  RESIDE so like what that mean? No I haven't resided here.  Well what other countries have you lived?  Oh the USA. So you have lived here for the past 5 years?  OH YEAH!!!  Words mean things, but I didn't know the word RESIDE would trip up so many.  So now I say LIVED!!

And TODAY... I was in customer service hell.  One company I got transferred 5 times in about 5 minutes, so the last lil girl they transferred me to, I started laughing.  Well she didn't like that but I didn't give any fucks. IT. WAS. FUNNY. I still didn't get to the right department, I'll just try again tomorrow. AND then I ordered something wrong and attempted to correct my order, after several transfers they gave me someone who not only spoke English as a second language but he was also snippy! At one point I said WE CANNOT BOTH TALK AT THE SAME TIME AND I AM NOT FINISHED!!!! At the end of an absolute waste of time call this fool said 'can I place the order for you?'  I said Nope cause that's not what I need and I am tired of talking to you!!  He then goes into script mode with were you satisfied with the call?  Have I resolved your issue?  Yadda yadda yah.... I say NOPE... but you have a good night! He still kept talking and I hung the phone right on up!!  LASTLY this one manager who I guess doesn't realize his shit stinks like ALL of ours decides to let me know what needs to be done to complete an order he could have let me know hours before as I am closing down and putting on my coat I say OH yep, I will get right on that and leave!!! LIKE MUFUCCA I ASKED YOU HOURS AGO what was needed and I have had ENOUGH of you and you people in this lil ass office.  So it will wait until i remember to do it tomorrow!!  It's just Tuesday and the only reason why I'm not having a drink is cause I have been getting these horrible sinus headaches when I drink... Although I didn't this past weekend.

This past weekend, I helped celebrate one of my friend's 50 birthday.  I actually bartended Saturday, but the sangria made (I didn't make it) Friday (oh it was an EVENT!!!) didn't cause any headache pain so I was hella happy.  SOOooo... Ima talk about the party even though he might be one of my readers?!?!?  Iono not really anything bad, but black folks, we can be so extra sometimes for no GOOD reason. And I know at events like this you have your folks who drink and those who don't.  But ma'am sir EVERYTHING right in front of me has likka, so if you wan't non alcoholic, go over there to the water and tea.  YES that is the only thing with no likka!  Yes the sangria has wine!  UH YES the light stuff has sparkling wine AND coconut rum.  YES!!!! The martini has vodka... which is likka.  Oh you wanted NO LIKKA... YES the water and tea is right there!!  Yes coconut rum means alcohol!!  Oh you want a taste?!?!  You know this has alcohol right?!?!?  OH IT'S GOOD?!?!?  OF COURSE IT IS!!!! I MADE IT!!!!  It actually was a fun night and my friend had a blast!!  He worked a whole lot for his own birthday AND they didn't cut the cake but it was a really nice event!!

And onto the roommate aka Barb who has been living in an assisted living for a while now.  I go in there most days my girl is sleep and/or sleepy.  But some days I get very lucid very informed conversation.  So one of these lucid days she says, 'Do you have a boyfriend?' I am hella shocked because even though we did used to talk about boys and men back in the day, the past 5-7 years not so much.  I say NO!!  And then she says 'Well you need one so he can take you to dinner!!' I say yes mom you're so right cause I do like to eat LOL  She be knowing!! so I guess I need to get myself out there so I can be found!!

who can I run to?

I'm sitting here in my office in my free green shirt I got from 'Be the Match' and my Kermit bottoms.  Not sure why that is important but what is important is I'm starting my job search again and it is a bit daunting.  I'm on LinkedIn now and looking at some previous co-workers who have moved up in the ranks.  I always wonder if I stayed if I too would have been given the opportunity to move up.  I left one company because I knew there was no other choice as I sat in a room after having gotten yet another manager (I went through 3 in 1 year) and for them to ring the praises of a young white male co-worker.  Basically he could do whatever he wanted in the company.  I along with another black female coworker looked at each other like well what about us?  I can't remember if she was pregnant at the time, which shouldn't matter because women can do it all, right? I sat there frustrated and sad thinking they really don't care about me AT ALL. And then a follow-up meeting with yet another manager because then they merged teams, proceeded to tell me how unready I was for a course the company offered and that maybe I should rethink some things.  I called a co-worker/friend and told her I had to get outta here!!!  Which I did.  So when I presented my resignation to the manager, she acted like I stabbed her in the back when she was the one who thwarted my advancement.  Should I have stayed and let them remind me again and again that I was unready? I wonder... This is the same company that when I was trying to go from temp to permanent  having gone to HR to see what else I needed to do was told I was too aggressive and had an attitude. I think it was best to leave there. So ok onto the new company where everything is shiny and new.  I applied for a senior position maybe 2 years later and again was told I wasn't ready EVEN THOUGH they gave it to someone a few years later that I trained; a white male.  I'm not trying to make this a racial post but it is curious how things are afforded to others that are not me when I am more than qualified.  At one point I was just trying to get out of my current department and was applying for EVERYTHING and nothing worked.  I had an interview with someone who literally made me hold in the tears until I got to the bathroom because this fool didn't bother to look at my resume and even though my degree is in marketing said I really didn't know anything about marketing and he wasn't sure why he was even interviewing me.  WHEW the things I have endured.  I gave that job almost 5 years of my life and who knows maybe I should have stayed there but my spirit knew that nothing good was going to come out of that.  But maybe just maybe I should be resigned to be miserable and just make the money?  There are very few people who I know personally who actually love their job.  My mom is 1 of a very few people.  She loved teaching.  She got excited about how she was going to do things differently for a new batch of kids.  She tried to get me excited about map skills, which I was not BUT I can read a map before GPS was even around so there's that!! I'm lacking a passion for doing something, ANYTHING!  And now at 43, I think I might actually have to start over.  It's both irritating and exhilarating.  I recently read an article about a woman who took a coding course I think she was in her 50's.  I don't have a problem with learning something new... So what the heck is my problem?  I have a friend who is taking a typing class because he really can't type well.  I need to do something and it probably needs to be sooner than later.

I've always said I wanted to work at a small to medium sized company yet I have ended up at these large companies where I am literally a  number to them.  How do you even grow in companies like that? I'm contemplating writing to someone who I had a bs interview with last week. I know it's inappropriate, but I already don't have the job so what harm could it do?  Even though I am disappointed in her for not hiring me, I'm more disappointed in myself for not saying that one right thing but who the hell knows what that is?!  Let me click off her page before I do something dumb. In fact, let me get outta LinkedIn for now because it's driving me crazy.

What I need to do I go take a nice shower and call about my car.  Oh yeah I was in an accident a few weeks ago which is a whole other blog I need to write but probably won't because it angers me to think about it.  Then I need to do inventory of my jewelry, yep I sell jewelry.  And then go look at my mom who may or may not be sleep and may or may not want to talk to me today. AND eat!!  I definitely need to eat!!

this feels like summer...

I'm in a group on the Facebook and the question was posed, would you rather give up your phone (meaning cell phone I assumed) or sex for a year.  Without much thought or hesitation I said MY PHONE!!  Now this doesn't mean I am sex crazed, but I know for sure I can stand to be a little less connected.  I remember back when all you had was a house phone and you had to either be home to get (or make) a call or you just missed it.  There was no voice mail, no answering machine, no caller id NONE of that.  Now it's like every ding the phone makes I jump, WE all jump because that is the nature of how things are now.  You have the regular phone on your phone where you can make calls, get voicemail and receive texts, but then in addition you can get emails from ALL of your email accounts, Facebook, twitter, snapchat, instagram, google hangout, tumblr, you can shop on Amazon, QVC, HSN, Wayfair, you can get all the music you need from Spotify, Pandora, SoundCloud, you can also look at all of your bank statements and then if you are bored you can play all the games you want to play because surely you don't have enough occupying your time with all of the above ... AND it's just too much!! When you are by yourself you're on your phone. When you are with friends STILL on your phone because you want to know what other people are saying and doing and/or showing them what you are doing.  No one is living in the moment and enjoying right now because they are too busy trying to capture it to look at in a future that will never come.  I have several friends (so no one person will get offended LOL) that can not bear to step away for any long period of time. So yeah I'll take sex! I've never had anyone check a message in the throws of passion.  I can wait to get home to use the house phone and get on my computer.  I clicked on a video of SZA at AfroPunk New York on YouTube and all you saw were a sea of phones in the air. I didn't even end up watching the video but someone in the comments said PUT THE PHONES DOWN!! Which I hopped on a and had a few comments myself.  There are still a few artists who insist that you put down your phone.  I was there when Lalah Hathaway refused to keep going until someone put their phone down.  It's just such a distraction and I think we need a lil apocalypse so we can get back to enjoying each other.  There was a TV show a few years back called Revolution, electricity stopped and people had to move on and figure out the best way to live their lives without it.  The show was rather interesting I mean it got a little ridiculous as most sci-fi show tend to get after a while but I really loved the premise.  I just goggled it, it only had 2 seasons, but they were long ass seasons. Anyway I digress as I tend to do... Give me all the secks!!!

As summer is surely coming to a close I have almost completed (well like 95%) one of my summer project which was to paint all the metal outside of my house.  I got the front and back railing, the front lamp post (which I still don't think has electricity to it and MAYBE it is a flag pole after all??), and the back swing set which i will use to hang pretty stuff I get from QVC from.  I still need to do the flower bed or maybe it was a bird bath, and the cellar door.  I might go back to Ace and get a fun color because I did all of the above in flat black, which I coulda sworn I got glossy black, but it is way to late for me to go back now.  It looks good!!  And it makes me feel proud to be a home owner. My creepy neighbor who's work hours I do not want to learn has seen me in the front and in the back painting.  He comes over and chats, asks about my mom and it's all good.  The one time though he comes over and says 'Why didn't you have me paint all of this?' And I look at him like WHET?!?!  Umm... Cause I can paint!  most of the stuff around here I can do.  The he says 'Well you know I do houses and stuff so you should get me to help you'. UHHH NO!!!  This is the one who's wife JUST started speaking to me.  I mean most of my neighbors it's just a hi/bye kinda thing.  Every once in a while they come over and chat for a minute, but nothing heavy duty. When he 1st moved in he wanted to mow my lawn, he saw I was struggling and I appreciated the offer but NO!  At that point I wasn't sure if the woman was the girlfriend or wife or WHAT, so yeah, NO... NOW he wants my lawn guy to mow his lawn and my lawn dude was like NO!  I don't think he cares for him.  My lawn dude is retired and does what he wants.  So back to the convo we were having after he's telling me how he can do all this stuff that I didn't ask him to do.  So then he says' Oh you one of those independent women?' And I stop what I'm doing and say WELL YES I AM!! Now here's thing, I am independent out of necessity. I don't have a man or husband and sure, I could pay someone to do whatever needs to get done, but I don't have any extra money for that, and I actually enjoy doing the things I can do around MY house.  It was said as an insult like HOW DARE YOU BE INDEPENDENT!!!  I have a plan for the house this year and it was painting the metal, and the concrete and washing the front porch (with the cleaner I got on the HSN LOL). What it didn't include was answering to some man that pays not one single bill in this house and who is way to uncute to offer anything else to me.  So yeah, I'm independent!!  I know what I need to do and when I need to do it.  I've been stock piling supplies since the beginning of summer so nope don't ask about the shed because that wasn't in the plan for this year and no I don't want your extra random paint you have from whatever job you were on.  I'm good!  I try to be nice but I really want to say just leave me alone!! So I still have a few more things to do and hopefully they will get done before it gets too cold.

As a bartender I work at a club in Baltimore and so many events have soooo many white men!  It just bothers me so much.  Like you guys couldn't have 1 diversity hire?  This event was a real estate company and the one young lady who was white was an intern, so she was getting drinks for the men.  There was a woman who was 'other', she wasn't black and I couldn't get a good enough look at her to figure out what she was, but I think she was the admin.  there was this other event where the man was quite proud of his company only doing business by word of mouth.  And that is the big problem.  You deal with people you know who usually look like you so you don't even think to include folks who don't look like you which is why it's so hard for black films to get green lit in and when they do they hold the weight of the entire black community on them because they just HAVE to do well or else nothing else will get green lit!  I just scoured NBC and CBS to see what new shows are on.  So far Marlon is the only full 'black' show but they also just canceled Carmichael on NBC so is that a true win? ABC has the most diverse show thanks to Shonda.  I didn't mean to get into entertainment but you can see it better there.  I worked in an office in downtown Baltimore where the only black folks were admins or custodial and there were like 2 in upper management, but that place didn't even interview me even though they told me to apply so I knew there was some fracken nackle going on there!! 

I got up to go eat and completely lost my train of thought!!