hump day random...

I just read this article, ‘The top 10 lessons of career reinvention: what my 5 careers have taught me.’ It caught my eye because I can remember precisely in college a guest speaker coming to speak to one of my marketing groups. She said over the course of your life you will have 10 careers. I thought then, well NOT ME because I am getting a degree in marketing and that’s what I’m going to do. I should have known there was some validity because even at the time the professor over us had went from a BS in accounting and switched to get her PhD in Marketing. Going from numbers person to a more creative person was a big change. So in this article #8 is ‘There is absolutely no security or stability except in who you are inside yourself’ I have always always ALWAYS said there is no such thing as job security, yet I see people continue to work as if they can’t be let go, or that things may change in their lives and they may want to leave. I think we all get a little stuck sometimes. Stuck because you know for a fact this is not where you are supposed to be, but having no clue how to get out. I recently had this experience where I was just stuck. And even as I look back to the not so long ago past I cannot make sense of it. It’s funny to have my friends try and explain it to me about my life and I listen knowing they have no idea for the decision I made, but still allowing them to have an opinion as to why I stayed in position for a long ass year. Now I’m not so stuck. I’m still not completely where I want to be, but a heck of a lot more at peace. Now it’s time to work on some other things in my life.

Switching gears completely… Magic Mike made me so very happy!! I am not one of those chicks who like going to strip clubs. I know women who do and I don’t knock it, it just has never really been my thing. Even in my 20’s I went ALL the way to DC (LOL) with one of my girlfriends to see this group of black strippers. They were… BIG in a lot of ways!! And I had a good time, but that was it. I didn’t need to go to another show (ever) the next week, or travel to Philly to see them again. It was just I had fun that was nice and that’s it. SO when the previews for Magic Mike came out I was surprised at myself for showing such an interest in wanting to see the movie. They showed a bunch of buffed basically naked men. WHY should I not want to see this movie? So one of the concerns was they are all white men. My retort was AND?!?!? So as luck would have it the Saturday (opening weekend mind you) as BGE scurried to restore electric from the previous night storm and the thermometer kept rising and rising going to pay for some ac in the form of a movie was right on time. The theater was packed and I went with 2 of my GGG’s and we weren’t able to sit together, which was fine with me because they both like to talk during the movie and I’m more of a HEY let’s just watch the movie kinda chick!! I sat next to a couple and the man said to the wife ‘I’m going to get some pointers from this movie so I can start a second career!’ She giggled, I busted out laughing. They had to have been in their 50’s with most likely grown kids. Then I had to really stop and get a good look at him. They were a cute couple but I resisted the urge to say ‘buddy keep whatever day job you got!!’ The storyline was truly not that deep. You had a bunch of strippers who welcomed a newbie into the fold and they were preparing to take their ‘show’ to Miami. There was a lot of nudity : ) full frontal, side frontal, and back frontal LOL (that was from Will & Grace when Jack was describing nude scenes that Kevin Bacon had in various movies. It makes NO SENSE but I say it all the time and folks look at me like I’m crazy… which is usual for me). There was some drug use and sales. Mike’s goal was to make handmade furniture and then he had an epiphany… and then the movie was over. I sat there for a minute waiting for something else to happen. I’m not sure what I wanted to happen but the way it ended was whack! HOWEVER, it was still worth it to see that much nekkidness on the big screen!!!

I feel like the Lion in the Wizard of Oz the scene where they stole the guard’s uniforms and his tail keeps making it go up in the back. My skirt is long-ish, but for some reason I keep thinking it is not down all the way in the back. That is a horrible fear that I would walk in front of people and my skirt is tucked into my panties!!!

I have been listening to a lot of jazz lately. I go into and out of phases of what I like most at the time. The radio just doesn’t play many things I like, and if I hear that whining ass song from Usher one mo time I am gonna scream!! I even heard a house remix and I was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I just feel that the lyrics should grow with you. Having sex, going to the club, drinking, and buying bling should not be the main theme of your songs. AND IF IT IS... be mature about it. I mean REALLY Mary, are you still talking about bad boys?!?!? Aren’t you married? SWV just came out with a new CD and for most of the faster paced songs I was just like UGH… no as a matter of fact I do not want to ‘co-sign’ for your love. Da hell does that even mean?!? In current rotation in my car/iPod: Esperanza Spaulding (she is the phenom who plays everything, but mainly the bass and won the grammy for best new artist the year Justin Beiber was nominated (tweens don’t like her LOL)), Gregory Porter (his voice sounds like a big bear hug. The first time I heard him I pretty much stopped what I was doing to goggle and find out who this dude was!), Robert Glasper (He has kind of been around for a while as a pianist. His new compilation cd has everyone from Lalah Hathaway to Bilal to Erykah Badu) and The Mitchell & Newbury Band (totally found this on a whim. It’s a compilation CD from 2007 with Fertile Ground on it, probably the last song they did together. But the rest of the CD has this kinda jazzy samba Latin feel to it from 2 white guys from Europe LOL). I actually throw in a little Mary Mary, Jill Scott and Ledisi for good measure.

I cut the top of my foot about 2 months ago. It was healing pretty well now it’s just a little black mark on my right foot instead of the hug gash it was. So last week why did one of those sonofabitch mosquitoes bite me right on the sore?!? It was puffy and painful and now I am back to wearing open in the center shoes, but of course no today!! I need some new shoes. Because the ones I have on today are not only old, but they really hurt. I need to keep a pair of flip flops in my desk. These were already in the ‘goodwill’ pile and they are going to go right back in it!!

So when I get an invite to have cupcakes for someone’s birthday on my team it doesn’t matter if I know the person LOL I just go! My co-worker who is a lot less adventurous than me said ‘aren’t you embarrassed?’ I said NOPE I’ll meet the birthday girl when I get there! I used to get so embarrassed about so many things as a kid and teenage… young adult. Now I’m like hell no! I didn’t do anything to get embarrassed. This is what embarrassed means: ashamed of something and worried about what other people will think of you. I could give about 2 craps an a ½ what people think of me!! The cupcake was so/so (the lady who made them sat right across from me so of course everyone was like THESE ARE DELICIOUS). But the dog stories were the BEST!! They just kept going on... and on... and on... LMBAO

random 498762252.1

I got so much trobule on my mind. I REFUSE TO LOSE!! - Public Enemy

Actually I don't have trouble I have RANDOMNESS!! so here goes:

-my co-worker said she was stressed because our manager asked her to move some things in an email account to a folder in a shared drive. I told her YOU DON'T KNOW STRESS!! This aint stress this is cake, and I will have another slice thank you!!

-the mosquitoes bit me on my FACE!! them sob's danced around everywhere I sprayed and get their blood from my face

-YES as a matter of fact I DO want to see Magic Mike. Channing Tantum!!! Matthew McConaughey!!! And that other (well several other)cutie patottie!! YES PLEASE!!!

-my doctor...well my hematologist (my primary care just wants to be sure I am close to healthy as possible because right now she says I am healthy-ISH) asks me what I like to do. So after I stop looking like a deer in the headlights I said 'well I know saying watching TV and drinking wine are probably not so good, but that's what I like to do... AND GARDEN!! because that sounds good, right?' He was dying laughing!!

-the nurse at this place took my blood and then apologized for sticking me... ummm, I didn't feel a think you did a GREAT job Nurse Katie!!

Tahj Mowery (you know Tia & Tamera's lil brother) is on a new show on ABC Family. But why does he look Asian and not black?

Why have I been watching ABC Family? I am kinda addicted to 'Bunheads'

Cedric's new show is GREAT!! I love Cedric!!

Why oh why does my neighbor pop out of freaking NOWHERE to say hello?? I really wish I could take him up on his offer to mow the lawn, but I need to know his situation. Is that your wife/girlfriend/sister/cousin?!?! And NO I am not tryna holla (why can't my neighbors look like the dude in Janet Jackson's Anytime video... or any other video she made in the 90's LOL) but I just don't wanna feel indebted. I mowed you lawn so now let's go upstairs(boooom chikka WOW WOW)!!! UUUhhhh nooo (LOL)

Ok it's not really stalking if I have no idea where the cute tall dude sits. But I was driving right behind him and I have his license plate memorized (ok yes that teeters on stalking... but only if I do something with it. It can play around in my brain forever!! LMBAO) Plus it looks like a family car... although he is TALL so a sedan doesn't necessarily mean 'I have 10 kids'.

I at least am working with men but there are really only a few cuties. One guy is still there from when I worked there in my 20's. I had a little crush on him and when I saw him again last week I was like eeeewwww what on earth was I thinking?!?!?

finding stuff out about the old job is both hilarious and confirms I made the right choice to leave.

to my dog friends, i know you love your dog, I KNOW, but can you ease up on talking about how amazing they are?!? I mean they aint got opposable thumbs which is what I tell my cat. My mom says I talk to her like she's a human. I'll say why are you trying to pick that up you aint got opposable thumbs chick!! OH wait did I just go to the dark side of talking about how amazing my pet is?!?!? (I mean she kinda is; anything that can lick their lady parts is pretty freaking amazing!!!)

if english is not your first language I am going to need for you to listen to the WHOLE question before you answer "YES"! Don't use context clues... just listen. And really that goes for native english speakers as well!

I am addicted to QVC, but don't tell anyone!! I just got my 2 petite maxi dresses and they are PERFECT!!! even though I am a tall chick i prefer my dresses not drag on the ground!

the intention was to open a bottle of Gollywobbler tonight and that didn't happen. Oh yeah the intention was also to make a lime simple syrup for the raspberry lemon drop i was going to test.. OH WAIT I have some simple syrup in the frig... hold on...hmmm maybe I don't need simple syrup since the lemonade is pretty sweet... (adjusting recipe in my head)

i am sooo sleepy right now. There is more but this is gonna hafta do for today!!

up to date

Ok so I have to bring you up to date on so many things… I have not been diligent in keeping up with my randomness. So let’s break it up into segments...

ATL
Went there to see my brother’s youngest son, or nephew, graduate from high school. Saw both him and the oldest nephew who has some plans for his future which is good! Graduate nephew is going to college in ATL which is good. I stayed in his room that he cleaned just for me O_o. Moving on… His grandmother made this lasagna that was sooooooo freaking good, that I have decided to stop trying!! Mine always needs ‘something’ and I never can put my finger on what that something is so I am officially DONE! She also bakes but you gotta catch her when she’s in the mode. Back to the nephews… I am so proud of them both!! They are maturing differently from a girl, but the youngest one is going to get there eventually the oldest is getting there (wherever there is) at a faster rate now that he is well into his 20's. The actual graduation was slow and when I watched the Glee season finale I was like ' Dag I wish the graduation I went to was this fast' LOL. ATL is nice to visit but I could never wrap my head around living there.

Dallas
no not the TV show. My family reunion was in Dallas and alls I got to say about that is it was HOOOOT! I don’t do real well in very hot heat. The good thing is that it was dry heat. The actual reunion it was great to see some family that I truly only see every so often. The airport was kinda weird. i walked a good while until I realized the exits were on the side. I had to ask a badged person how the heck do I get out. And that's just what I said. HOW THE HECK DO I GET OUT!!! I requested from my cousin that was hosting to provide me with a single oilman and then maybe I would stay. He did not provide said man (LOL)

Job
I gave notice and left my job. YAY!! I mean this is truly a thank LBJ moment! I would have stuck it out as long as I could but it was getting pretty unbearable. What had happened is… the quick and dirty is an old contact contacted me, I had an interview that was calm and easy and went well and then basically they were waiting for me to give them a start date. The month of May had a lot going on, mainly graduations and vacations. And my vacation which consisted of 2 days tacked onto a holiday which made for a long weekend which up until I actually took it cause great concern in my office. Now everyone else can take weeks at a time but me… not so much. I am breathing such a sigh of relief right now. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was and how stressed I was over such non-relevant things but they were relevant then I guess. The good news was that the light at the end of the tunnel was actually in plain sight; it wasn’t just a future hope! I fully expected to be escorted out. Not because I had done anything wrong, but that is how this company operates. But then I was told that I wasn’t a disgruntled employee (which led me to believe they REALLY didn't know me) so I could stay AND train the new temp that they were going to get (oh joy more like OH HELL; but that part will be in another section of this here blog). So when CR manager said I was leaving them in a lurch it took a whole lot from deep within the pits of my good, kind, selfless (humble LOL) soul to not just get up and leave right that minute (here comes another sigh!!). I guess the lurch part was because I was taking those 2 pesky days of vacation and that damned Memorial Day Holiday. How dare I give notice AND take vacation?? And couldn’t I just extend it 1 more week?? UUUHHHH not just no, but HELL NO!! I have done all the putting up with I’m gonna do up until the very last hour I was there. I should be recommended for sainthood (there goes that humbleness again :) ) My last day I knew it was going to be rough when to treat myself, I go to Chick-Fil-A and them fools did NOT have any hot beverages, which includes coffee. And I needs my coffee EVERYDAY!! Thank LBJ yet again that now my Caribou is right up the street. So NEW job which is what I used to do a few years ago, but this economy has hit everyone kinda hard so all the jobs I used to have dried right up. It’s good because I am getting my skills back up. Not that dealing with the industry didn’t keep me sharp, but dealing with the people sometimes dumbing stuff down I had to look at them like REALLY?!?!? Self improvement is important to me so it just bothers me when folks get stuck on stupid. Tweedle too was actually going back to school. She was not a tweedle cause she was dumb, she just had very comical ways (like buying a harness for her bunny!). THE Tweedle didn’t want to learn anything new, didn’t want to take a note, refused to accept that we are in the technology age and that email is necessary. She was very frustrating. So the text she sent after I left I ignored because I am not, nor have I ever been a hoarder of information. Whatever I know, you can know cause I’ma tell you! I’ll even show you my shortcuts that helped me along the way. But when your response to me is ‘Yeah ok, whatever…’ then I shut down. And I am so done. Bridges are not burned but I so do not want to cross back over any time soon (or ever). Is now a good time to talk about the temp?!?! Yeah sure why not. It was my thought for a good 2 minutes that I would help out choosing the person the temp agency would send because I know my job, and who better to decide who should replace me, than me. Well it didn’t really work out that way cause what do I know?!? So the temp was sent in and after a few hours of showing and explaining stuff to her I felt like I was wasting my time. She most definitely had the skill set, but the personality, not so much. I have a filter (or at least I hope I do) that tells me what to say and what not to say especially to people I just meet and ESPECIALLY in a work setting. I think the first day I knew she was going through a divorce, dating a dude from Miami who foots the bill for a lot of her expenses, she lived with here sister who has 7 kids, she has 2 kids (later found out it was at home with her parents), she worked at MAC and Hopkins and Victoria Secrets, she is a dominatrix who sells alcohol infused candy on the internet and through all this she did NOT find time to tighten up her weave. She had 2 phones that went off constantly. Dude you’re a temp, SURELY you can’t be that important that you need 2 phones!! Lastly, and this is where I knew my time was being wasted, her eyes were going sleepy time throughout the whole day. I even made it a point to see if this week when I was being trained how many times my eyes went sleepy time, not at all on the 1st day probably because I was excited and the person who trained me I knew so it was good to catch up with her and all the people still here. My current situation I have 2 managers (which could suck but it so doesn’t) that I have to report to but it is cool in the gang! Both are women and smart and exude confidence of not only what they know but how to get things done (another sigh!!) Also, I have 2 admins and I have been going back and forth to see who has the best supplies! On day #4 my only complaint is that the lady who sits (and she really never SITS but you know whatever) diagonal from me said my music was too loud, but really that’s not even bad because I stick in my ear buds and be jamming and singing and dancing. Me and Pandora been having a great relationship this week. And HandzOn too! Got the good house music going on. the actual work is not bad either. Quick and dirty I'm doing data collection.

Jazz Fest
The Capital Jazz Fest was this weekend and because I am so low tech I couldn't (or didn't) 'check-in' or tweet pics or what have you. But I was serenaded by Afro Blue!! You know the kids from Howard who were on the Sing-Off. They were all smaller that I thought they would be, but they were also a very attractive bunch of people. I say this and I can't really remember who's page I was on but I looked at the people in the pics and said, 'this is NOT a good looking bunch of folks'. Anyways, they had this workshop tent where certain artist came and basically answered questions. So after I got lost, found my soror who works for the Lottery (got some scratch off and won 2 bucks YAY ME!!), got lost some more, FINALLY found the tent and it was me and 3 other people. So when they sang for the first time it really was like they were serenading me. And I loved it!! More peopel came after they heard what they were missing. The only reason why I didn't stop watching the Sing-off after they got voted off, was because there really was talent on the show and even though I disagreed with some of the choices, I am glad the group that won, won (who's name escaped me now. Had to google that... Pentatonix). The line up was not great on Saturday, but I kinda heard Frank McComb as we rushed to get in. And then I heard Afro Blue!! Kenny Lattimore and Maysa. The rest were a blurr.

Hair
I cut it all off!! That's big new in a black women's life. I been rocking the wedding hair, that's what I refer to as long hair, for a while. But honestly the only reason I hadn't cut it is cause I didn't have a reliable hair dresser. So I went back to my girl. And I can't really remember why I stopped going to her. Well yeah I do remember but the reasons were not worth me not going back. She just set up a hair salon and seems to be doing well. Now her prices are ALL over the place, but we are good for right now. And now everyone is getting all this fabulous color and now I want some color.

TV and movies **spoiler alert**
*I don't know who thought killing Lexi off was a good idea.
*What the hell is Curt going to do?!?! He can't stay in Lima.
*thank you SYFY for only playing Lost girl at 10pm. YOU know I can't stay up that late!! So now I need to catch the rest of season 1 and all of season 2. The Ash is in a coma and I have no idea why (plus the sex scenes were AWESOME for basic cable... **clearing throat** I mean you know if you like that sorta thing IJS)
* Thank you TNT (or is it USA) for putting Michael Ealy on a regular show that I can watch every week. That dude is several kinds of sexy and I don't know why I tried to resist (the sex scenes in 'Think like a man' with him... yeah i got a lil hot and bothered but it was pg-13 LAWD what would they have shown in an R movie ***SMDH***)
* The Avengers in 3-D WORTH the cost of admission
* Hunger Games - I thought this mess was a trilogy. I about lost it when Rue got killed. And was it based in the future?!? Do we really need coal miners in the future? And WHY were there only 2 black folks... oh wait I almost forgot Lenny Kravitz another just SEXY man. moving on
*Dark Shadows.... NO just no no no.
*Think Like a Man - cute but the Steve Harvey scenes got to be a little annoying. I am rocking a modified Meagan Goode asymmetrical and also taking her tip to wear sexy panties to attract the men (well ok in the movie she was wearing granny panties so she wouldn't be tempted; but the reverse should work, right?). I have already discussed Micheal Ealy. Romany (can't think of last name, but he was in Weeds and 40 yr old virgin) he is kinda cute! They had a few top off scenes with him. Yep!!
Need to see Thor, cause the dude playing is a cutie patootie AND Idris Elba is in the movie, and Captain America so I can be caught up on my Avengers


...and that's about it!!

thursday drivel

so I’m driving down 695 yesterday and for some reason Michael Baisden is playing something WHACK! I mean I like old school just as much as the next late 30’s person, but if he play ‘Square biz’ by Teena Marie one mo gin I am gonna scream! So then I start my radio shuffle and start with 1 which is 92Q (yeah I give people grief about listening to this station but every once in a while they play some non rap) So on the station they are playing go-go and to be more specific Chuck Brown. And I’m like hole UP… do I have the right station, so I look down and yes. Hmmm WHY are they playing go-go on 92Q?!?!? What the heck is going on. and then the announcer comes on ‘R I P Chuck Brown!’ And I’m like wait WHAT?!? And then I hit 2 which is 95.5 they are playing Chuck Brown, I hit 5 which is 93.9 THEY are playing Chuck Brown. Then I go back to 3 which is Majic 95.9 and Michael B is talking about Chuck Brown. AWWW HELL and that’s when the water works started. And it’s not so much that I was a huge Chuck fan and I used to always joke that he was 150 yrs old, but it’s like EVERYONE is just dying and I can’t handle it. I can tell you where I was for everyone this year... Whitney: I was folding clothes and got a text from my sister and call from my girlfriend who was DISTRAUGHT. Heavy D: I had just got off 695 and was going to another girlfriends house to make sure her trash can was in her yard and then my sister called and the water works started because my dad liked Heavy D (it was a random thought but he really did and since he’s gone that made me start thinking of him). Now Dick Clark I saw something on FB about Chubby Checker (and his afro wig or weave LAWD I don’t know what is on top of that man’s head) and then my little baby cousin said YOU DIDN’T HEAR!?!? And nope I hadn’t. And those are just the celebrities. My girlfriend’s mother just passed away a few weeks ago and she was devastated. And as much as you say to someone it is not their fault and they did a good job as a care taker, people think what they are going to think and it is a process of mourning and grieving when you lose someone close to you. I have had several vendors who have had to stop work because of funerals. It just seems like here lately not a day has gone by where someone has not been affected by a recent death.

I don’t know why this is a recent epiphany or as Oprah would say, an AH HA moment, but I really do not like when people think I don’t know what I’m doing. I had someone ask me if I knew the difference between a month and a quarter and I think if that prick was anywhere close to me I would have beat him within an inch of his life. NO SERIOUSLY did you just fucking ask me that?!? So you think I don’t know the difference between 1 month which is 30 days and a quarter which is 3 months and about 90 days??? I am still a little hot about that whole situation ESPECIALLY since I didn’t do anything wrong and the information provided was correct both in MONTH and QUARTER form. I hate being in proof mode where I have to prove it to you. AND WHO ARE YOU!? I know this is an insecurity I have to get over and not be so emotional about. But some days it just be like that. AND ANOTHER THING I do not have the gift of sight. I can’t read your mind I JUST CAINT!! So stop saying things like ‘if I forget something you have to remind me’ because that doesn’t work for me. If you forget something then you are SOL cause you sure as hell didn’t bother to tell me so how am I supposed to remember?!?!

I sit in an office in the back of my office and even though I know the mailman is an older gentleman, when he comes in and starts talking I always want to get up and see who it is. And then when I do it’s like ooooohhh.. : / He’s a nice guy, but he has kids my age so I need to tell him to have his son stop by LOL.
I just got an impromptu rendition of ‘don’t nobody bring me no bad news’ which was kind of rough so I won’t mention no names to protect the innocent. But I am right now in that mode Don’t nobody better bring me no bad news!! I mean it!! I can only handle good news right now. So if it’s bad… tell me tomorrow.
I have come to the realization ALL cats think they are invisible. For some reason there are a gang of cats that strut about my community like they are paying mortgage. And honestly if they are taking care of the critters before they enter my house it’s all good in the downtown hood! But last night I opened up my back door and this very orange Garfield looking tabby stops in her place an looks at me as if to say ‘you can’t see me so stop looking at me bitch!!’ But I had to bust her out I said OH yes I can see you YOU’RE ORANGE!! The grass is green, you don’t blend sweetie!

Ok the new pest control guy is kinda cute MARRIED but still kinda cute, which is good seeing as how we did not get the cute UPS driver today. I always check the ring finger like so if he wasn’t married were we going out a date tonight?!?! Well I’d like to think I have enough mack diva skills to pull that off, but I don’t know LOL

NO NOT DONNA SUMMERS!!! Oh LAWD… I caint take no mo!!

I have totally gotten my money’s worth...

I have totally gotten my money’s worth from my pre-paid phone this month!! I have 9 minutes left and I then I need to recharge. What’s funny is I called a friend on Sunday and I said I have 23 minutes so what’s going on?!?! Don’t you know that fool yawned and flipped channels and had sooooooooo many pauses throughout our so-called conversation and then finally I said OK so I’ll talk to you later. I was like did she hear me say I only had 23 minutes?!?! So now I am down to 9. 1 was wasted on facebook trying to get it in my office that has a temperamental Wi-Fi. But hey it’s ok I do need to make some calls but like Kevin Hart, the way my bank account is set up it has a checking and a savings and I have to transfer some funds. LOL I finally got the dvd Laugh at my Pain (this is me digressing) and it was funny. Not as funny as some of his other stuff. I didn’t realize he was getting a divorce. not that it matters but I be rooting for both black love AND Hollywood love... well LOVE and marriage in general. Folks be married for a while and then they blow up and just go crazy. I don’t know if that is the case with Kevin Hart, but George Lopez dropped his wife of forever years, Dion Sander, Ne NE (LOL). I keep waiting to hear Chris Rock is getting a divorce. I mean I really hope not but it’s inevitable right?


I would like to thank LBJ for the spray bottle of Clorox that is strategically placed in the bathroom by ME because a little sanitation never hurt nobody! I don't know what that was on the toilet, but whatever it was was KILLED by the bleach.


I have NO appetite so why Lord WHY did I just burn my little bagel?!? It looked so good! I know I can't come on the computer and cook at the same time. Many a dish has been burnt or almost burnt because I was tryna do both. You know I slapped some butter on it and am still gonna eat it. It's just a little extra crunchy LOL Meanwhile my cat's appetite has increased. Her little rations for the day (she gets 2 from her auto feeder) be GONE in a hour and she used to just nibble throughout the day. Right now she is looking at me like bitch you KNOW I'm still hongry!! And I will probably throw some extra food in her bowl cause that's the kinda cat mommy I am!

it is so weird what I find sexy these days!! **SMDH**

WHY do I keep seeing random cats in my backyard!?!? One little orange tabby was sitting in my flower bed like she owned it. And there was one little black and white one (technicolored LOL) who just crossed through. ALTHOUGH, if they can keep the critters at bay outside than that is less for Paisley to find inside.

I'm so sleepy and I need a new bed AND to hit the lottery not necessarily in that order...


Okay I am not feeling the spacing on this new version of blogger. OH I figured it out :) Now I can't find spell check oh well.. that's never stopped me before. Oh yeah I made it to 2 minutes on the phone!!

stress and other random things...

I am a bit stressed out. Between job, family, and money concerns I am hangin in there but some days just barely. I mean it’s true, I try to stay positive but some days just wear me down with the amount of negativity that I have to endure on a daily basis. The Four Agreements - Be impeccable with your word; Don’t take anything personal; Don’t make assumptions; Always do your best - is something I have posted on my wall and I look at often. Because when I get reprimanded for something I didn’t do I have to remind myself to NOT take it personal. Or when it’s 4:30 and have a list a mile long list of things to do but I told a vendor that I would have it to them by 5, I have to do it because I said I would. But here lately my best is more like ‘meehh… I’ll get to it when I get to it’. My attitude SUCKS!!. I know it’s time to bounce when I start feeling like this. I am mad I didn’t play the mega millions because I was feeling pretty lucky and that idiot from Mickey D’s who said she hid the ticket at work, I’m sure all the people involved with that little shenanigan have thoroughly beat her ass, cause she needed it!! And family… well you can’t pick your family. We just have to make some decisions sooner than later and I just don’t feel ready. As for money that goes hand in hand with the job. I have not felt inspired for a while; just going through the motions of doing work because I gotta eat and I gotta live somewhere. Although the thought has crossed my mind to hitch hike across America or go sell fruit and juice on a beach like how Whitney wanted to do and probably SHOULD have done. Island of choice is Bahamas, Freeport area mainly because Bahamian men are sexy as hell and most don't even realize it. Think RICK FOX, cause you know he's from the Bahamas. And then there's Lenny Kravitz because at one point he had a house in the Bahamas. I know this because I read Essence AND he has a ring in a particularly happy place for women! LAWD I have digressed!!

Emergency rooms and real life doctors and nurses DO NOT look like the men and women on ER, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice and every other doctor show on the teevee. They just look hella regular. During a recent visit to the local ER it was noticed that Dr. Hernandez (or was it Fernandez) had a little bit of cutie patootie going on. But Nurse John, not so much! And then there was Katrina who's dad just named her sister by a different mother who also had a brother by that same mother even though he was younger and the other sister by the mother Katrina has as the legal guardian. Yeah that one made my eyes cross like da hell are you talkinabout?!? Her great claim to fame was metallic fingernails, cause you know I asked, and as she put it ‘what else I'm gon spend my money on?’ Uhh a 401k? A house (oh cause I know ya ass is renting)? Better make-up (cause she had a little unevenness, but nothing a lil MAC or Mary Kay can’t fix)? So yes MANY things you can spend with your money other than metallic GREEN nails with the tiger metallic ring fingers. LAWD I didn't realize how tacky that was until I just wrote it own!! LMBAO. For some reason clogs always throw me off. Like I get that they are comfortable, but my nurse this morning, had on shiny black clogs. Why oh WHY do I notice these things? My midwife who I LOVE had on sensible tan clogs. Even though she looks more like the fraggle Mokie, she is sooo...nice is not the word, she puts me at ease for whatever I need to talk to her about. Doctors don't have that same bedside manner, just like my primary care doctor was trying to rule out me having water build up in my legs and she said is it water? or do you just have fat lil legs? (I should have been offended but she is so direct, the warm and fuzzies evade her). And I need to be at ease when being poked and prodded in my delicate lady parts area. I want a tee-shirt that says I *heart* my midwife. YES I am a cornball!

On the subject of what SHOULD offend me. Freakin Tosh.O on comedy central. This show is so ridiculous. In fact... I had to google something he had on last night which was gross and is unmentionable. BUT the funniest one which is why I started watching the show was this woman in Baltimore, of all places getting on stae to dance. She falls, loses a shoe but does NOT stop. It was hilarious!! It was called Dutty Wine gone wrong. It's taking forever to come up, but his video breakdown most definitely should have offended me. Know what else didn't offend me? Mary sangin about chicken!! And she got paid 2 million.. she aint offended either. OH I found it!! I know there were some other things but that about does it for now.

Onto my current obsessions. Well not really an OBSESSION, more like a fixation or something. So anyways Sid the science kid comes on right about the time I need to be getting my bootay out of the bed. But some mornings I just caint! So I flip between Sid and Andrew Womack (the televangelist whose voice sometimes gets on my nerves, but most times he is usually saying something I need to hear). And I have done extensive research. SOOOoooo here's what I know. Sid is a bi-racial kid who wants to know everything about everything. His mom is black (or as some random blog said African american-ish) and his dad is white. These are supposed to be nondescript cartoon characters but I KNOW!! His friends are Mai the only NAMED race kid on the show, and she's Chinese and wears transition lens glasses and a skirt. Gabriela is Latina I know this because her mom was on the show and she had a Hispanic accent and they had a last name like Lopez, or Fernandez (although that's not a tell tell sign... Zimmerman anyone?!?!) Jerrold is pink and has a voice like a 55 year old who smoked 10 packs a day. He is the rocking roller safe bet he's white. Teacher Susie... black. One day at work i was just fixated on this show. I'm not saying this is a bad thing each race and culture has their own thing and this show has the kids learning a lot and it's all fun and games. What I should be ashamed to say is that I know 2 of the songs the sing. When Sid get'sdropped off he sings 'I'm looking for my friends! I'm looking for YOU... and then each kid does a little dance. May has no rhythm, it's funny to see the cartoon dance bad! (you do know I am on pbs.org watching it LOL) and then when it's time to go in. Teacher Susie sings the rug time song... It's soo sad that I know this!!

I keep getting distracted. I started the blog at work and now I'm home still fully clothed and I keep going to random site and random people's pages. Truth is I am sleepy as hell. So i'ma post this. Eat my chicken. Eat my new favorite cheat food peanut butter cheerios OH incidentally I lost 2 pounds of the extra 15 i didn't realize I packed on... so you know that's good!!

the help and other monday randomness...

I read the book and then I went to go see The Help, actually it was a book club book. And I thought it was a good book and the movie, as with any movie based off a book, some things were missed but all in all it was a pretty good movie (no movie could be as bad as Eat, Pray, Love and I had such high hopes for Julia Roberts). I think Viola should have won the Oscar because how many more does Meryl Streep need? Well actually she should have won the Oscar for the supporting role a few years ago for Doubt, which also starred Meryl. That was the role Oprah wanted to get but the director smartly gave it to Viola Davis. So anyways this weekend I watched it again with my mother and sister. Now we are a big bunch of cry babies. We all cry at pretty much the drop of a hat. We were trying to figure out where my mom would shed her first tear. And actually she kept it together right up until the end. Because she lived through that era of having to ‘know her place’ seeing actors portray it did not really affect her in the same way. For me it feels like a travesty, like HOW DARE they speak that way her, or DO THAT to her!!! All the while claiming to be a good Christian. And I see it through a post civil rights era eyes. Not post racist society even though we got Barrack in office mind you, but in my lifetime I didn’t have to sit at the back of the bus, or blatantly did not get a job because of the color of my skin, or have to fight to vote. Don’t get me wrong racism is absolutely still alive and well, but it’s more undercover, well at least sometimes. After I really thought about it, my grandmother who was basically a single mother was just as stuck as these women in this movie. She had 2 little girls and could have just as easily stayed in Mississippi and remained a domestic but she had dreams, goals and plans for her kids. Like many during that time they had to leave the south or chose to leave the south for a better opportunity. She ended up still cleaning for a living but she made a hell of a lot more money and got a pension, sent both her daughters to college and a few of her sister’s sons to college so it all really did work out for the better! It was never an option for any of us to not go to college. In fact when I was messing around with my college applications my mother’s favorite threat was that she was going to go to Pitt and enroll me there or go fill at an application at Giant Eagle (the local supermarket). All of the grandkids went to college and even the one who didn’t still went to a trade school so he still has a good job making plenty of money! We may not be all living up to our full potential (me probably the most and honestly I’m just in a little holding pattern right now, I’ll get it together) but not having a degree has never been an excuse. I work with a few vendors who even today in 2012 say they were never a good reader or speller and I always want to ask them, what did your parents plan for you? Or what did YOU plan for you? Why in the heck can’t you spell good when we have a free school system in the USA? How come you didn’t even finish high school? Or ok so you didn’t but you can go get a GED!? and it’s still FREE. My grandmother’s initial plan was to go to Detroit. We have a lot family that ended up in Chicago, but no one seemed to make it Detroit. We are glad she made a pit stop (ha I made a funny!!) in Pittsburgh AND we are glad she went back to go get her kids because a lot of folks went up north and never came back for their kids. The part in the book and movie where the maid Yule May asked for $75 still makes me wonder why she thought it was ok to ask her employer for the money. But the kicker is that all the good white folks were putting on a benefit to help starving kids in Africa when the black folks right in their own city needed food and help and better wages. It was almost as if Hilly didn’t even believe her maids kids were smart enough or good enough to go to college so why even bother helping them? It was foolish for Yule May not necessarily to steal the ring (cause they probably didn’t even realize the ring was gone) but to try to pawn it in the same city. I don’t condone theft, but I may have had to go to New Orleans or some other big city to pawn it. 75 bucks might as well have been a million dollars

so clearly me having a proper lunch today is not happening. It amazes me that I do not put forth much effort but stuff still gets done. But let me go to the kitchen and heat up my sad little lean cuisine and everybody has a damn question about something they coulda waited 10 more minutes. I am reading an important article in the Citypaper about amateur porn so ok maybe I do need to go back to work because who needs to be reading about regular people making $90k in a year!?!? ME That’s who!! I need to flash a boob and get paid for it!! Although even though my mother doesn’t even own a computer I am still scared she might find out! She told me I couldn’t be a prostitute, but I need to ask her stance on boob flashin!

More days than I care to admit, I need to crawl up under my desk a take a lil nap. And today would be one of those days!! I went to sleep early and slept through the night, but I’m just tired today. I’m already anticipating the weekend!

It used to be the main tweedle (thought she was smart but really kinda wasn’t), lesser tweedle (dumb and she knew it; she gave 8 weeks notice resignation at a company where when you give notice they pretty much escort you out) and then the temp who they (it’s THEY because when I was asked to give my opinion about hiring her I was basically supposed to agree to what redneck manager (because she literally has red on her neck in the form of a neck tattoo and she likes hockey, nascar and rides a motor cycle soo uuhhh I’m not being racist) had already decided; but now 8 months later it’s OOOOH yeah maybe that wasn’t a good decision to hire her… mmm hmmmm) made permanent became new tweedle. And since now both the main and the lesser are gone new tweedle became just THE tweedle. The new co-worked who replaced the main tweedle, started out as new girl who I was going to transition her to be tat girl(who has all the dr. suess tats on her : / yeah she is special) but no she has proven herself to be a tweedle and she is now officially a tweedle too!! It’s hard keeping up with my thought processes but it makes sense trust me!!

I am freaking STARVING!! That lil lean cuisine is gone! Thank God I took out some chicken this morning. I might bake a few wings and foreman a few. I’m now eating some dry ass popcorn, one of those single serve and that gonna have to tide me over because I am trying to avoid the mc-doubles. Whatever happened to natural? I was all for less butter or whatever, but I do not like all the lo-cal popcorn which is exactly what I’m eating; 100 calorie Pop. Give me ALL the cals and some flavor along with it. Better yet I need to get some whole kernels and pop it my damn self!!