I HOPE that it gets to you

So today is going to be a blog day!  I am sitting here fighting the urge to lie on the floor and take a nap.  This day started off with so much hope!  I got here at 8:20 which is well before 9 which is what I seemed to do all last week.  I had energy! I was upbeat! I was ret to work!  Now I’m just ret to go home!! I just turned on some good house music.  Actually I tried to start my day off with house, but it was gospel house and that isn’t my favorite.  I need a good beat good vocals and I’m good.  SO that means not vocals that the producer is trying to work around because the singer sang in a key that is just… off.  I’m listening to Ian Friday now so I’m sure I won’t run into that issue.

I’m trying to blog more consistently random which make absolutely no sense LOL And see this is why I can’t really be a pop culture blogger because I don’t keep up very well with what is going on.  I’ve been wanting to write about Grease Live! for a while and I’m not sure why now is a good time.  Maybe because I just saw an ad to buy the dvd to buy it.  I tried really hard to watch but it just didn’t do it for me.  I stopped at the part when Sandy should have sung ‘Hopelessly Devoted’ but she didn’t and I tweeted for all my 5 ‘fans’ to know I was done watching.  There were mostly positive things that were said.  I was trolling for the bad reviews but folks were saying all nice stuff so I knew these were not my people.  Actually I’m going to twitter now; nope still good stuff.  I might have to give it a chance.  But I am a Grease purist!  I have the ALBUM folks!!! With all of the songs from the original movie!! I bought a record player a few years back because I have the Grease album (along with Al B. Sure (#dontjudgeme) Ten City (house music) and… some random Herb Alpert record I got back in the day from WAMO (all my Pittsburgh people know) with Janet Jackson’s ‘Making Love in the Rain’ and I was 14 so I ain’t know nothing about making no love (still probably don’t LOL)). I am that chick that almost hit a chick who said Grease 2 was better! I like musicals and musical movies so I should like it, but OK so we decided I will give it another shot and report back.  Hopefully it is still on on-demand.

I am excited… and I just can’t hide it!!

WHY is this woman leaning over my desk to talk to my cube mate in the next row?!?  Thank you LBJ I had my headphones on so I didn’t hafta hear that dumb conversation.

I have drunk all my water today which is about 64 ounces and I am usually running to the ladies room but I just haven’t felt like it today.  It is taking too much effort. YES, I have to go but that means I have to turn off my music and hope the podcast the music is on doesn’t decide to reset, cause it does that sometimes, close my screen so that the random passer-by can’t see that I’m writing in a non-work capacity, do some cat like stretching because inevitably my bones are going to creak an crack, thankfully I have a dress one so I don’t have to pull up anything over my midsection but I do have to pull down so that my booty is not all out and about cause who needs to see alla dat?!? Take off my shawl cause it is chilly in this office and I really am a little old lady; turn off my heater cause all this hot air up my dress is maybe not the right move since I’m already sleepy which means I then have to get on one knee…LAWD ok I’m going.

i like my baby hair with baby hair and AFROS!!

You ever talk to someone you know is not paying any attention to what you are actually saying?  SO a co-worker stops by my desk asks me how I’m doing and I say well I can’t get up from the desk because my stomach is killing me, but I’ll be ok in a few.  She says Oh that’s good!  And then goes on to say how she needs to get her hair done this weekend.  Thanks for caring about my needs. 

I held the elevator this morning for a woman who had on long rider boots with her pants tucked in.  I didn’t really realize and look at them that hard until just now.  They are regular pants (meaning not slim) and the top of the boots has pants gathered there and it looks a mess and funny. 

What about me says to you I know about running or running events?  My co-worker was telling me about some event in Westminster that was about to happen in however may days.  He was excited but I looked at him and gave a for real blank stare.  I know Black girls Run and I know chunky girls workout… but yeah me and the girls have not been a friend of running since my Schenley (that would be my now closed high school) days.  Even at Virginia State I would cringe when whatever PE class I was mandated to take made me to run.  No… I don’t do that.

But I need to do something.

I did a staycation over the President’s Day weekend. I wasn’t as well thought out as I wanted it to be but it was absolutely wonderful! I got a room in the BWI area hotel, packed up a little bag and went.  I checked in and then went to the Chili’s and got a good steak and shrimps (yes shrimps LOL), came back  and commenced to doing NOTHING!  SO now the thing about doing nothing at home is that I see that pile of laundry that I could just go and throw in the washer but then if I did that then I am doing something., and that defeats the purpose of doing nothing.  But if I didn’t then I feel bad about not doing nothing so that creates stress.  At a hotel I’m just there not thinking about my disaster of a house and everything in it including the roommate and the cat LOL!! I caught up on those horrible Real Housewives show, I started reading my book for book club (that I didn’t finish just yet) and then I sat around naked.  And that was all I needed to get myself refreshed!  I need to put it on my books for a quarterly refresher.  But I have my BIG vacay going to see my BFF in Abu Dhabi, then a quick trip to the ATL to see my nephew graduate from college then another trip to Cleveland (yeah I know but it will be fun) for the my family reunion so I might not need a staycay until September!!

random blog #11374

I really need to vent but I think if I say everything I need to get off my chest I might start crying.  Actually there is no guarantee that I won’t be sitting here crying messing up my cute make-up today.  But here goes… First I really am questioning my choices in the men I keep trying to be with.  Nothing is wrong with them (well that’s not true but, like you know whatever) the ones here lately just don’t seem to be right for me AT ALL!!  And then I look at folks and wonder if I made a big mistake somewhere along the way.  And then I want to be like Peggy Sue got married (that was a movie) and go back in time and if time really is relative, maybe there is an alternate universe that I made the right ok maybe not right but OTHER decisions and living a different life.  Who knows? I just need for someone to take my needs into consideration.  Like ask me how I’m doing and feeling and what I want!  I don’t live my life on a whim.  I plan EVERYTHING so planning shit by ear doesn’t work for me.  It just doesn’t.  Nor am I going to wait for you to have a few minutes to give me attention NOR am I going to be all excited because you finally thought about me.  So yeah I might forever single and I am so ok with that. THEN there’s all this death.  I know death is a part of life… it’s gonna happen.  But it feels like so many people are just leaving this earth.  A Soror who I didn’t even realize was a sick as she was when I saw her back in December passed away this morning.  She was truly one of those people that I know my life is better for having known her. I always gravitated toward her.  She was a good spirit.  For the most part I am not a hugger but I always gave her a hug and I will truly miss that.  And then there was one of my friend’s mom who suddenly passed away a few Saturday’s ago.  Things had to be rearranged for her viewing because of the blizzard we had.  She was the last of a class of women who when you went into her house, she asked if you wanted a plate... Because she cooked and had food waiting!  I mean women today just don’t have food on the ready at all times.  I mean I DO cause I have a roommate that needs to eat, but I digress.  I had been thinking about her because her house was not far from mine and is on the way to my job. But we are not really in a drop in kinda era.  These days we have to call, text, or tweet if you want to come by. I feel bad that I just didn’t stop by and say hey! SO I’m feeling sad and almost want to hold my breath cause there has been so much bad news.

I really need to stop assuming people have my best interest LOL

What I am doing for myself this fine Valentine weekend is giving myself a staycation. I don’t relax when I am home because something always needs to get done, and then I don’t do it so feel stress about not doing it and never truly relax or just go pour a glass of wine and ignore whatever the thing is.  SO I’m going to a hotel!  I’m just going to enjoy not having to worry about anything AND I’m getting room service and not doing a damn thing.  I probably need to work it into my schedule to do it quarterly and just take time for me. 

What you won’t do is ask me a question and then tell me I’m wrong when you are the one that needs the information from ME!!  I am so sick of people doing that to me.  I’m not sure how I come across to folks.  I mean do I come across as vapid? It’s ok for me to know stuff it doesn’t take anything from you if I know what I know, and you know what you know!

I am so sleepy right now… I need a nap and I need it NOW!!

It’s Friday and I’m off Monday.  Life is good!!!

can't run from myself, there's nowhere to hide

I got straight emo when the Whitney Houston video I have nothing came on this morning... I don't know why today but this title is paying homage to her! 

There is a new guy that is on a team in cube nation and he is just so happy to have a job!  You ever see one of those people?!?  He is maybe mid 40’s (or older or younger I can never tell LOL) and he is just HAPPY!!  People can get very jaded and cynical and it is refreshing (even though he looks a little crazy some days) to see people who are happy to be right where they are. 

I have a lil cold right now and I’m a little pissed because I got my flu shot and I feel as though I should not get sick EVER!! It’s not that I feel bad, but my sinuses decided that they just gonna close! My right nostril has been closed since Monday.  I mean I can breathe some of the time.  I’m sitting here at work with my humidifier with eucalyptus on, my tissue (2 kinds with and without lotion), hand sanitizer, and OF COURSE Vaseline.  OH and my mirror so that I can check my nose often to make sure no snot is running down my face and that a boogie is not just hanging out.  I probably need to go get some more drugs.  AND I probably should have stayed home.  I’m not that strapped for cash but home is not really a resting place. My mother demands so much of my time with not a care… wait that’s not fair she has dementia so it’s not that she doesn’t care, but she doesn’t remember that other people have needs.  Last night I said I am going to make myself some tea. She decided she needed some tea also.  But tea for her means it has to have brown sugar and only filled ½ up and it needs an ice cube because I have to hold it so she can sip it through a straw.  Meanwhile I just want to sip on my tea.  Then she needs a piece of candy.  She has already had several cookies and her hands show it because they are dirty and so I need to clean them but she is a HUGE child so touching her hand means she has to flinch and yell out YOU HURT MY HAND!! And I just say fuck it and go lay on the couch.  She then realizes she didn’t get her candy and calls me back in the room.  And I indulge her because what is one more piece of candy gonna hurt? I know I was in a horrible mood yesterday.  I had to bite my tongue more often than usual when I talked to a few people because I was not feeling well.  But today I feel a little better so we’ll see how today goes.

I was listening to a podcast  ‘Friend Zone’ and they were talking about a version of the Meyers Briggs personality test that you can go online and get your information for free.  I went to the website www.16personalities.com and did the test.  My personality name is Campaigner and my letters (?) are ENFP –A which I know means something specific but I didn’t see what it was.  It’s a test that you answer several questions that are able to dictate your personality.  I thought it was pretty cool and accurate.  I would like for my friends to do it so we can see who’s who and what’s what.

I just bought some Allegra or at least the CVS brand and I hope this helps the dry me up and for me to stop sneezing.  I also bought more Vaseline or at least CVS brand (wow I was being cheap today LOL) because I need the moisture!!!

A girlfriend of mine who shares the same birthday as me celebrated her birthday ALL month.  Not because she was turning a particular age that’s just what she wanted to do! One of her events was a Dance Palooza or a Zumba party.  Now 2 years ago I could hang with the best of them.  I was in better shape even though I was about the same size.  But this Saturday my body was like bitch please!!!  It was so stiff.  I knew I was gonna need several advil after.  I had a great time and it was fun but I have got to get my body together.  And it’s not even a vanity thing because, let’s face it, there will always be a dude who likes the thick ones, but it is a heart thing.  I am taking high blood pressure meds and I need to get off.  And we all know I’m an infomercial junkie and if you didn’t NOW you know.  Yep I bought the Shaun T’s new video Cize!  Let’s forget that I already have Hip Hop Abs, T25, 10 minute trainer, Turbo Jam, The Firm Express and a few more but I needed the newest thing so I got it.  BTW... I love Amazon Prime! You just order and the shit comes right to your house in 2 days!! I haven’t tried out the Prime Now but I hear you can order ice cream and it comes good and still frozen within the hour. Not that you want ice cream in this weather but hey it’s an option. Ok back to celebrating random birthdays… it think we all should do it more often. Life is way too short and you never know.  A soror of mine had a 74^th birthday for her mom because WHY not?!?!  I don’t think you should wait for a significant age to celebrate.  DO it now!

WHY DON’T I HAVE POCKETS!!! Why do you designers make women’s pants without freaking pockets?!  I’m headed to a meeting and I need to stick a few tissues in my non-existent pockets. DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!!

And I’m sipping on tea.  It’s of some herbal variety not real all that good but hopefully it’ll push this bug outta me.  Why do I need to know who played the Sheila Dixon on the Wire character right this second.  Lawd I know why but that explanation will be way too long… SO yeah the same chick that is now on Chicago Med AND Hitch.   My brain is a beautiful thing!!