staring monsters in their face... with grace!

I have managed to not lotion my calves for pretty much the whole summer.  I get my thighs and my feet but for some reason the calf is just too much.  Today on this chilly almost fall day I decided to wear capris.  I just looked down and wouldn’t ya know it ASH!!  I must do better, ash is never acceptable.

There is just so much on my mind at any given moment I really have to remind myself to just breathe and stop thinking. 

One of my co-workers who I actually like (imagine that!?!?) just told me his ear drums were blown by how loud my music was in my car in the parking lot.  I am only slightly embarrassed.  I gotta get my mind right before I get in this place and granted I listen to music most of the time, I can’t really sing at the top of my lungs like I can in the hooptie.  Today’s selection was Jill Scott’s WOMAN.  When I tell you don’t get stuck on that song they play on the radio I mean it!  Fool’s Gold is good, but the majority of the cd is GREAT!! Do I go through each song or give you the highlights?!?!? I only don’t like about 2 ½ song.  That ½ is cause I gotta listen real good before I can say yay or nay.  ‘Wild cookie’ is spoken word over a beat.  We all know what the cookie is?!?  It’s not really a sex song but more of an intro to the CD.  my favorite line… ‘you could get a coupla things, but THINGS are THINGS!!’ Next is ‘Prepared’.  This one you could kinda tell she was writing and then just said THIS GON BE A SONG!! ‘Run, run, run’ is one of the songs I’m not really feeling.  I think it’s supposed to be a throwback to like a 60’s doo wop kinda song.  But next… OH the next song, this needs a little build up.  NeoSoul Café is one of the internet stations I listen to and found back when I was trying to find a non-blocked stream of music at one of the 50eleven contract site, and this is pre-iPod.  So anyway this station has a soundcloud of mixes.  Actually they used to have a bunch of mixes from a lot of different dj’s. This mix I listened to was from Will Downing.  He does The Wind Down soul session.  Not really my typical work day music because will he winding down and I need to be amped up to work up in here!!  First time I listen to the mix, first song a voice comes on ‘I got something on my back that I need to get off baby….’ Wait I know this voice. Who is this?!?!  At this point we all know I have stopped working and I am trying to find the track listing.  No list written anywhere; so I continue listing and then he FINALLY gets back on the mic to say that was Jill Scott ‘Can’t Wait’. I’m already not working and I immediately go to Amazon and buy the cd.  This song is FIYAH!!! There are so many layers to it that it seems each time I hear something new. I think it is my favorite on the cd.  She is in love and she got so much shit to do be she can't wait to be loved by you!!  ‘Lighthouse’ is next it has a trap beat (am I using that right?!? I am going to you tube it… yep I’m using it right!!), so it’s up-tempo. Lay your burdens down lay them down.  It’s funny how that is a thing, trap music. ‘Fool’s Gold’ is what you will hear on the radio and it’s ok… but it is the typical he-did-me-wrong-but-ima-be-alright kinda song.  Just like really girl?!?!  ‘Willing’ is an interlude.  It’s saying you want me to be all these things, loyal, flawless etc… but you are NOT willing to do the same.  Cause that is the norm (most) men always want what they won’t do themselves. ‘Closure’ is the comedy but oh so true song. When you break up sometimes you need a last romp to make sure you made the right decision and/or it was good but there needs to be more to the relationship.  Miss Jill is very clear in this song we DID break up and I aint cooking you no breakfast neither.  At the end the guy says ‘the closure starts today!?’ and I laugh every time I hear the song. ‘You don’t know’ is a song she sang on one of them award shows earlier in the year to get us ready for this cd.  This is so full of life!  So like if you never ____________(fill in the blank) then you don’t know nothing about LOVE!! She is pouring her heart out.  This is ALL she got left to give! ‘Pause’ follows in the vein of ‘Hear my call’ this is a plea ‘It’s me… I’m calling to schedule a nervous NO make that NECCESARY breakdown!’ Maybe why I like this cd so much is because it speaks to my soul right now.  ‘Cruisin’ on the evening breeze to clear my mind… take my time so I can breathe!! YES!!  ‘Say thank you’ is that ½ song.  I gotta listen again cause I’m just not sure about it. Yeah nah… not my thing. This is where I get stuck cause after ‘Cruisin’ I generally done… ‘Back together’ (is nice i forgot about this one), ‘Coming to you’ (the other one I don’t like), ‘Jayrah…’ (a song for her son).  Finally ‘Beautiful love’ is a duet by someone I don’t know but you know… google.  His name is BJ the Chicago kid.  He has a really nice voice and the song is really nice.  So yes run don’t walk to your nearest wrecka sto and get you WOMAN by Jilly from Philly!! 

One of my other co-workers brought in some old bay cheese puffs.  I am so trying not to be that chick but I want to eat them ALL!!! They are sooooo good and they have a slight hint of staleness which makes them even better I don’t know why, it just IS better.  What I really want to do is stuff as many cheese balls into my mouth and crunch down like I did when I was a kid, but I am trying to keep it cute.  I asked her where she got them and then said NO WAIT don’t tell me because I will be a glutton if they reside in my house.  I don’t handle snacks well in my house.  I didn’t grow up with them and I don’t ration them out well.  So when I buy chips I eat a few the first day, but then I eat the rest of the bag.  It’s a wonder the wasabi ginger Lay's have made it longer than a few days; maybe becasue they are kettle chips and that takes more effort to chew?!!