apple meeting jungle yard...

I don’t think I have been in a funnier meeting in a good while.  First off let me say that I get invited to these meetings and I usually sit there with NO CLUE as to what is going on.  I’m a pretty low chick on the totem pole so even when I do speak it’s as if no one did.  So meeting is at 1 but why bother coming on time because the essential people are going to get there late.  This one dude who I have seen around but never really had any interaction with who reminds me of Tobias Funke from Arrested Development comes in late, loud, AND with an with an apple.  We are on a conference call with people from the Denver office and Texas.  He proceeds to chomp on his apple like he’s at his desk.  I got so tickled and tried to suppress my laughter because I was sitting there like ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!  Is this fool really chomping on his apple like it is his only meal of the day??  So we go through the meeting and everyone is so stressed except me because I know this aint rocket science but no one clued the rest of these folks in.

I really need a mini Febreeze air freshner because the bathroom is so stinky sometimes!

My yard is looking very jungle like and I keep not calling the few people that I have to call for reasons that I do not know.  And it’s about to rain so it is going to turn into a rain forest sooner than later and this vexes me.  I don’t want to mow my lawn but I also don’t wanna pay anyone to do it I just want it to miraculously get done.  OOOHHH ok so last Saturday well Saturday before last as I was making my way to the good White Marsh to get the compost bin my neighbor who lives 3 houses down on the other side of the street comes running up to me like hey miss… HEY MISS! And I’m like oh hey, good morning.  So he proceeds to introduce himself to me and that he cuts grass.  SO I give him the side eye and say I’ve been here since 2005 why are you just now introducing yourself to me?  And he says oh yeah I know.  And this instantly pisses me off!!  SO you have seen me struggling to mow this damn lawn and edge it up and just keep it together for 8 year and you JUST NOW want my business!?!?  But I keep my cool (I guess) and ask him how much he will charge me to cut the renegade tree in the back.  He says REAL CHEAP and unless you say $50 or $500 real cheap doesn’t mean anything.  SO now I have to go knock on his door when I want him to use his services O_o yeah ok dude get the hell off my jungle grass!!

Hey lady I just saw you NOT wash your hands… oh you are on my list now!!!